


A Tale of Two Shepards: Saving the Galaxy is a Family Affair

by TEAM_Shepard



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-01-12 19:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 100,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1197402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TEAM_Shepard/pseuds/TEAM_Shepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commander John Shepard and his sister Maggie fight through the Council, Collectors and the Reapers themselves to discover what it really means to be a family. As close to cannon as possible, through Mass Effect 1, 2 and 3 and beyond. Updates weekly on Saturdays</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue 1: Akuze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> Drksyders here! Thank you for stopping by and reading A Tale of Two Shepards - a TEAM project bringing together some wonderful friends in our mutual love of Mass Effect. We really appreciate your comments, feedback, faves and reviews.
> 
> First. Many thanks to TEAM SHEPARD for all the time, support, love and dedication. You guys mean the world to me!
> 
> Second. A special thank you to my military advisers, Artimus and Kir El. Thank you guys for your service and letting me constantly pick your brains about all things military. THANK YOU to all the men and women in uniform (except Cerberus), past and present, who have given so much for the rest of us.
> 
> Third. A big shout out and thanks to Roarkshop for her amazing work, Sense and Flexibility. She raised the bar of quality for fanficton and inspired this whole project. If you hate it, blame her. :)
> 
> Fourth. I'd like to dedicate A Tale of Two Shepards to my BBBFF (Big Brother Best Friend Forever), Jeremy. Who will always be the biggest badass in the galaxy to me.
> 
> Fifth and last. Mass Effect Characters, Terms, and Themes are owned by Bioware. No Copyright infringement intended. Please don't sue us.

No matter how hard 2nd Lieutenant John Shepard tried, the only thing he could see was a kitten.

The psychologist insisted that there was more to the exam, that he needed more data.

“Look at the entire picture, please,” he said. “Consider the background, the placement of the subjects, and the colors used. This psychological test will only work if you cooperate. . .”

But still, no matter how hard he looked, all he could see was a kitten.

It was this damned hospital, he decided. Things didn’t feel right here. Two months in an Alliance Military Hospital actually felt like six times that long - like vorcha years. Colors and sounds were muted, as if he’d been caught in the effect radius of a flash-bang grenade that just didn’t fade. The voices of the doctors were soft, tinny, and distant. Not that they ever had anything he wanted to hear. Not that he was talking much to anyone anyway.

And, this was the stupidest test of all. Showing him cartoon after cartoon. Shepard was past caring about what the so-called wizards wanted. He was a soldier; and not about to bare his soul over a stupid cartoon picture of a kitten. How could he feel something about a kitten, anyway?

The kitten didn’t look anything like the terrified face Private Cox. He had begged not to die as he writhed in the blood-drenched sand. The ball of string couldn’t help Chief Patel as the ground gave way beneath him and ultimately tipped him into a giant, toothed maw. The bright powder-blue sky had nothing to do with the helpless screams, sizzling acid, and ground-shaking roars from that day on Akuze.

The green grass didn’t look anything like the pale-grey sand that covered that cursed planet’s surface. The same sand he’d dragged himself through for 10 klicks, despite internal-bleeding, a broken leg, busted eardrums, and 2nd degree acid burns. There was no bright lemon-yellow sun that day; it was a starless overcast night when his squad, his his men, his _friends_ had died.

Akuze. Already the planet’s name had taken on a hushed and sinister tone when it was uttered by other members of the Alliance marines. None of them would ever understand what “Akuze” really meant, but there was a reverence in the name when they dared to speak it - always in whispers, as if merely speaking the name would cause the thresher maws to take notice.

There was nothing more to be said about Akuze. It had been hell. He’d survived it. He was ready to get back to work. Shepard knew he was fit for duty: he was twenty-three and healed quickly. He didn’t know and didn’t care why the top-brass were evaluating him so closely. Psych screenings, stress tests, and body scans. . . none of them told the truth: that being in this damned hospital was more painful than anything he’d seen on fucking Akuze.

“Are you having suicidal thoughts?”

“What?” Shepard asked.

“Are you having suicidal thoughts?” repeated the Alliance psychologist in a smooth, even tone.

“No.” Shepard responded flatly. _It’s not that I want to kill myself_. _It’s just that I don’t want to live._

“Are you having any trouble sleeping?”

“No.” _Sleeping is no trouble; the dreams are._

The doctor paused a moment, scanning the datapad and waiting for a change in heart-rate, brain activity, or something to indicate distress. Eventually, he shrugged.

“Is anything there else you’d like to talk about?”

“No. May I be dismissed, sir?”

“We’re done, for now. Dismissed, 2nd Lieutenant.”

Shepard stood stiffly, offered a quick salute, and stepped out of the room. He moved mechanically, despite the slight limp, back towards the hospital bed and armchair surrounded by wack curtains that constituted his “room” at the hospital. He resumed his seat in the chair and continued to stare expressionlessly out the window.

More time passed, days perhaps. A voice distant and disembodied had spoken to him. It repeated itself, several times, trying to get his attention. He didn’t remember sleeping or eating. He must’ve at some point. He looked over his shoulder at the speaker.

“Ma’am?”

The nurse repeated for the fifth time, obviously frustrated. “You have a visitor.”

“Oh. Yes.” He replied flatly and turned back to the window.

The nurse rolled her eyes and pulled back the flimsy curtain. A rustle of movement indicated someone had entered the “room” and sat on his bed. The nurse closed the curtain and he noted her footsteps walking away. He was about to give up the strain of paying attention when a vaguely familiar voice, young and laced with a smile, called to him from what seemed like another system.

“John?”

He continued to stare out the window, maybe if he ignored her, she would go away. But, the call repeated.

“Jooooooohhhhhn?” The voice called in a sing-song tease. His mind flooded with memories of mischievous laughter and tears damp on his shoulder. He remembered cleaning her brown and red streaked hair, still matted with food after cafeteria fights. He remembered red-brown eyes that always sparkled with delight right before shooting him down in endless games of “Human versus Batarian Pirate.”  He remembered giggling bedtime stories about Rear-Admiral Faceblaster and his rogue military crew roaming the galaxy to dispense justice and right wrongs.

The memories, like that stupid cartoon kitten, were unrelated to Akuze. And, just as easily ignored.

Finally the steps rose, moving in front of him and closing the window. Corporal Margaret Lynn Shepard leaned against the window sill lowering her slender face into in his line of sight. She’d changed since he’d last seen her. She’d grown taller, filled out, and lost the gawky awkwardness of a teenager - but, she was still unmistakably his sister. It was the eyes - everyone had always said - that marked them as siblings.

“Jo-Jo? Earth to Jo-Jo. Are you in there?” The girl rapped her knuckles softly on his forehead with a playful air. John looked up and he felt a sickness in the pit of his stomach.

“Maggie?” He asked, a tinge of surprise coming through the deadpan stupor.

“Yeah. It’s me.”

Something else was different. She still had that misleading youthful innocence to her appearance and her eyes still sparkled with mischief and life. And then, he saw the uniform. He tried to remember the last time he saw her.

“Mags.. I…” he tried to begin; he didn’t even know where to start. Suddenly, he noticed his hands were trembling and emotions flickered across his face. He looked up at her, unable to hide the pain in his eyes.

Before he could get any further, her arms were around his neck, squeezing in a show of force he never remembered his sister being capable of. He put his arms uncertainly around her and sagged. It was Maggie, his sister. He thought he would never see her again and everything came crashing back.

His men, the maws, the smoke, gunfire, and blood. And, for the first time since it happened he _felt_ it. His body started to shake and she just gripped him tighter. The tears pricked his eyes and he hugged her fiercely as if the contact would help hold the emotions at bay.

“uggh.. air! Jo-jo, AIR! Need….to…breathe” she huffed, shoving him off with a laugh and flexing her shoulders.

Maggie stepped back and looked down at him, concern and worry in her usually smiling eyes. She took his hands simultaneously pulling him standing while kicking the chair away and then crossed her ankles and sat on the floor with her back to the wall below the window, hauling him down next to her.

They used to sit like that and talk for hours in the air ducts of the stations and ships where they played as children. They sat against the wall cornered between bed and chair. Somehow enclosed spaces felt like home, or as close to “home” as they ever achieved from their mother’s postings. The fond memories of childhood were forcing away the painful memories of battle. She didn’t let go of his hand and he stared at their feet stretched out side by side. He finally found his voice.

“How’s mom?”

“Oh… mission-ing someplace. The usual. Blah blah top secret, blah blah security” The levity in her tone almost made him smile.

“She really wanted to be here,” his sister continued, “but last I heard she was somewhere near the Hades Gamma cluster. It was just too far.”

“I understand…So, Engineering Corps huh?”

She laughed.

“Don’t act so surprised. We can’t all be ground-pounder jarhead officers and make mom proud like _some_ people.” She leaned into him with a playful nudge. “And besides, I love to build things. It seemed like the best compromise after …” She trailed off and let the sentence hang.

They both winced in unison at the memory and Maggie cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Anyhow…I joined with the Engineers just after the last time we saw you on the SSV Einstein before mom took that posting on the Kilimanjaro. They recruited me when they saw my work on upgraded turret targeting. Things could be better, but, at least, mom and I are talking again. It’s Corporal now, by the way.”

“Congratulations.” He nudged her with an elbow.

“Yeah yea…Mr. bloody 2ndLieutenant. You’ve jumped the ranks faster than anyone’s ever seen. And then...”

He felt her stiffen by his side. Shepard winced at even the suggestion of Akuze in conjunction with his career. He didn’t want to get a reward for his failure. Part of him still feared the review would earn him a court martial . But, all of those concerns were blasted from his thoughts when Maggie exploded with anger.

“And then you fucking disappear for nearly three months! Not a goddamn word to me _or_ Mom. I get back from the Academy to find reports of your unit wiped out. We thought you were dead! I’m AWOL right now, you know. I’ve been trying to track you down for weeks. Mom called in a favor to Anderson who stepped in when we couldn’t find you.”

The words had tumbled out of her and she was breathless. Her caramel skin flushed with emotion. In a quick movement, she ducked her head into his shoulder. He felt tears soaking through his uniform, but didn’t look. Instead, he put an arm around her to comfort her as she cried.

“I thought we lost you, Jo-Jo.” she sniffled.

Maggie always rallied after a good cry. So, John let her be. Seeing her pain made him come face to face with his own. He realized how numb and paralyzed he’d been. It was dangerous, he’d hardly recognized his own sister.

He took a deep breath and forced the emotions to run through him. The anger. The hurt. The raw terror. The guilt. He’d let all of them down. He didn’t deserve to live while so many soldiers worth ten of him had died.

“Besides” she sniffled, “you can’t leave me alone with Mom -- we’ll kill each other.”

He nodded sagely.

“Ain’t that the truth…”

“Ugh, look. You’ve gone and made me all splotchy.”

She skirted the silence by trying to push the tears away from her face. She stood and went to her own pack on the bed, rummaging noisily. Eventually, she seemed to find what she was looking for and returned to sit next to him on the floor, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform. She took his hand and latched an omni-tool around his wrist. He hadn’t worn one since the mission.

“Anderson says… and I quote… ‘Check your damn messages.’ ”

He grumbled his protests as he fumbled with the orange holo-display of the device. At his side, he heard his sister deftly using her own, custom built wrist-based technological wonder. She couldn’t keep her fingers off the damn thing for more than an hour, but the familiarity of her gestures was a comfort. Shepard, on the other hand, was a soldier and never overly fond of technology. He recognized its value, but he’d trade a good firearm for the omni-tool any day.

For Anderson, he’d make an effort of it.

Anderson had been their mother’s Captain and, unlike many other officers, he actually enjoyed having the children on his ship. He’d always kept an eye on them even after new postings and promotions had separated them. So, Shepard “checked his damn messages.”

His eyes moved over the dozens of messages that accumulated in his absence; a large number of them from Maggie herself terrified after he went MIA. Fitness reports, statement requests, debrief meetings he had entirely ignored with strongly worded reprimands for not appearing at said debriefs.

“July 1st, o-seven-hundred” his sister intoned without looking up from her own omni-tool.

He glared at her, though he wasn’t surprised. Communications systems were easy as breathing for her. He quickly found the indicated message.

_July 1, 2177_

_2_ _nd_ _Lieutenant John Shepard_  
 _Major Thomas Hirsch Memorial Hospital  
_ _Room 321_

_Greetings Mr. Shepard:_

_You have been selected for admission and are authorized to report to the Systems Alliance’s Interplanetary Combatives Training (ICT) program, Vila Militar in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Earth on 22 September 2177, before 10:00am local standard time. You will find helpful information in the enclosed instructions about transportation, baggage, funds, and other matters pertaining to admission._

_You are congratulated on this opportunity for admission to the Alliance Special Forces advanced combat training, for it comes only to a select few of humanity’s best. It presents a challenge that will demand your best effort. Therefore, it is suggested that you give serious thought to your desire for a military career as, without proper motivation, you may find it difficult to conform to what may be a new way of life._

_Wishing you a full measure of success and satisfaction as a member of the “N-School” and as a commissioned officer in the Systems Alliance Armed Forces,_

_I am_ _sincerely yours,  
_ _Rear Admiral Brian Kahoku_

 

He barely had time to process what the message meant before he felt a nudge from his side with a mocking echo of his own words.

“Congratulations.” 

Anger surged in him and he turned away from her, disengaging the omni-tool from his wrist and throwing it angrily at the bed with a stream of curses. He pushed himself up, pacing the tiny space between the bed and dislocated chair.

“How dare they reward me? I got my whole squad killed! Congratulations, join us at the most advanced combat training in the galaxy? You managed to not die, let’s promote you?”

He fumed and raged in the tiny space.

Maggie stared at him blankly, confusion in her face, wincing at his particularly colorful expletives. She let his anger run it’s course and when she saw his shoulders slump, anger turning to hurt, she grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit next to her once again. The small girl wrapped both her arms around his bicep and squeezed.

“Easy, Jo-Jo.” she soothed him with her voice. “This is what you wanted isn’t it? You got into N-School. At 23! No one does that. How is this bad? Talk to me.”

He pulled his arm away from her grip, pulling his legs up and resting his elbows on his knees, leaning his head back against the wall. His words felt strange in his mouth, it had been months since he really talked. But, it would be pointless to keep the truth from Maggie.

“We were sent in to find the civilian pioneer team on Akuze. They hadn’t reported in for days. Our orders were simple. Investigate and report. We found the settlement completely intact. No damage and no trace of the team. It was 10 klicks to the landing zone so we set up watch and hunkered down for the night…”

His throat choked up, he felt the emotions ready to overwhelm him again. Then, he felt his sister lean against his side. He took a rattling breath and continued.

“It just happened so fast. I didn’t even see it begin.” He closed his eyes. Visions of his men melting and screaming as the acid sizzled through armor and flesh alike, the terrible crunching sound of bone, the smell of burning metal, flesh, and ozone from overloaded shields mixed together in a horror beyond measure. And, he’d failed them. His hand went instinctively to his leg, the scars from the skin grafts beneath his fatigues still fresh.

“They all died and I couldn’t do a damned thing about it. But, they kept fighting…we…kept fighting until the end. I don’t know why or how I crawled back to the LZ. But, I know I shouldn’t be alive right now. I failed all of them and they want to fucking _reward_ me. I can never repent for that and I refuse to gain from it.”

He didn’t even realize his hands were shaking again until Maggie had grabbed them. She was sitting across from him, cross-legged. He hadn’t felt her move, he was so lost in reliving his memories. Together, they were shadowed together in the small space with his back firmly against the wall. It felt safe and his mind was starting to clear.

“You’re never going to repent.” She said somberly after the silence had stretched. “And, what would they want with repentance anyway? You think that’s going to make them feel better? You think your friends and crew are going to be happy if you give up?” He started at her words, but she looked him dead in the eyes and drilled her words into his mind like a sniper shot.

“You are not going to repent. You are going to fight for them. Every bullet you fire will be a flower on their graves. Every mission you complete will be a prayer for their souls. And, every life you save will honor their memories. You will honor them, John Shepard. You will honor them until the whole damn galaxy knows each and every one of their names as well as you do.”

He stared at his sister while shock and heart-wrenching pain contorted his face. But, a fire was lit in him and it spread from his gut with a strange burning calmness following in its wake. He knew somehow in his very core that her words were an ultimate and simple truth. He knew this would change him forever.

“And you will message me every month on the dot to let me know you’re still breathing or so help me I will track you down and beat you with your own goddamn rifle. Promise?” She added with a fierce smile through her tears and despite everything, he couldn’t help but smile right back at her

“Promise.”


	2. Prologue 2: Brazil

John Shepard read the message on his omni-tool for the third time, but it didn’t make the disappointment any easier.

His sister, Maggie, had been denied the leave to attend his N-School graduation. Her support, messages, and regular visits had kept him sane through the four years of brutality that ICT called “training.” But, he had made it – the N7 designation on his full-dress uniform filled him with swelling pride.

Out of the three hundred officers that arrived at “The Villa” four years ago, he was the only one who toughed it out until the end. Graduates N1 through N6 made up just over 50 others. They were the best and the brightest, but they weren’t him. He glanced down at the N7 designation again and smiled.

_You will honor them, John Shepard._ He heard his sister’s voice in his head.

He hoped he had done them proud.

After a long eternity of singing, salutes, pageantry and flag ceremonies, they began an even longer eternity of speeches. Shepard sat straight-backed as the top brass droned on about their accomplishments, their future, and humanity’s position in forming galactic peace. The sweat trickled down his back beneath his dress blues.

He still couldn’t believe that the graduation ceremony was actually outside on The Villa's training grounds in Rio. The heat and humidity were sweltering. The formal decorations and neatly lined chairs provided a stark contrast to the training grounds as he had last seen them.

He remembered the debilitating heat, sweat and mud mixing in his eyes as he crawled belly-deep under razor wire with tracer rounds going over his head. His useless Turian rifle, one of hundreds he’d been trained to use, was digging into his forearms widening the already established bruises while the sniper teams called out targets. All of this followed an eight mile endurance run and preceded two-hours of hand-to-hand drills.

That was N1.

N2 was a similar level of brutality, except cross-training with Turian officers on a remote planet where the chlorine atmosphere spelled slow choking death for a single armor seal breach. N3 - demolitions and special ops - where field manuals were a twenty second head start. By the time he reached N6, the five remaining candidates moved to live-fire operations which they only later learned were actual field missions.

At N7, he stood alone.

Shepard stared straight ahead. Like all soldiers, he had perfected the art of appearing to be at rapt attention while _actually_ paying attention to other things. Out of the corner of his eye, he scanned the audience and thought he could pick out his mother’s uniform among the relative sea of strangers. Finally, they began to call out the names of the graduates beginning at N1. They read each name and moved through the designations, the cheers and anticipation of the crowd growing at each level until it was nearly a physical presence.

“Staff Lieutenant John Shepard: Alliance Marines, N7”

He could’ve heard a pin drop in that crowd.

He stood at full attention and marched with unhurried steps towards the center of the stage; trying to ignore the whispers of “Akuze” moving through the crowd. He offered a snappy formal salute before shaking hands with the Admiral who presented him with a small case containing his N7 badge. The man looked him up and down with a fierce smile, spouting congratulations. Shepard kept his face a neutral mask as he murmured his thanks.

The charade over, he turned sharply with parade-drill precision and began to return to his seat. The crowd seemed to take a collective breath, until a loud and piercing whoop of glee echoed from the back rows. He looked up sharply, but he already knew who was causing all the fuss.

His sister’s beaming face caught his eyes and, despite the complete breach of protocol, the crowd joined in enthusiastic cheers. A torrent of elation erupted, with the most force coming from his fellow graduates on the stage. Shepard tried to fight the color creeping up his cheeks and took a moment to present a formal salute to his comrades. His fellow servicemen cheered all the louder for this display of camaraderie and he had to fight his way through reaching hands before he could sit down for the rest of the ceremony.

Luckily, the rest of the ceremony did not last long and he was able to make his way towards his family. Maggie looked radiant in her Engineering Corps dress grays, despite standing out like a sore thumb in a sea of Alliance Navy blues and blacks. It made a stark contrast next to their mother and he realized the tension between them before they noticed his presence.

“Hey, Johnnie!” the olive-skinned man called after Shepard, trotting the last few paces to catch up to him.

Shepard stopped and turned to face his biotic comrade.

“Amir!” Shepard greeted the man warmly, grasping his forearm.

“N7 huh?” the man replied with a roguish smile. “Always knew you were an overachiever.”

“N3 is nothing to be ashamed of...even with your biotic handicap.” Shepard ribbed the older man.

“Super-powers make you lazy. Which is why I use bombs, too!” He offered another one of those trademark grins. “Speaking of bombs, some of the guys are heading to BARbarella to celebrate.” Amir waggled his eyebrows conspiratorially.

“Maybe later – I got a bomb of my own to defuse.” He nodded towards his family. “Mom and sister.”

Amir followed Shepard's gaze to the women and whistled low. “Sister huh? Single?”

“I _will_ shoot you.”

“I'd be a perfect gentleman!”

“Goodbye, Amir.” Shepard laughed, turning his back and resuming his walk towards Maggie.

 “I don’t care about that Mom, I just couldn’t miss this for John,” he heard his sister say as he approached.

“Margaret, this is just unacceptable.” His mother retorted. “There will be disciplinary action.”

“Bah. My CO will cover for me. I’ll be back before they even miss me. And, besides I got you and Anderson to cover my…Oh hey there! Mr. N7 Super-Soldier!”

That last part was directed to him as he managed to close the distance. In a heartbeat, Maggie had jumped into his arms with a fierce hug. The impact was so jarring, he was forced to spin around to compensate for her momentum, nearly knocking them both into the crowd. The ceremonial sword at his hip was responsible for most of the collateral damage.

Shepard offered muted apologies, but on a day like today, no one was anything but smiles. Even his mother was forced to surrender the argument in favor of the shameless display of happiness.

“Congratulations, John.” Captain Hannah Shepard offered formally. 

“Thank you, Ma'am.” He responded, peeling his sister away so he could embrace his mother gently, kissing her proffered cheek.

“Brrrrrr.” Maggie scoffed as she watched her family's stoic display. She interrupted the moment with a stiff punch to Shepard's shoulder. She let out a squeak of surprise, shaking out her hand and kissing her knuckles. “Geeez, Jo-Jo! What have they been doing to you? I could tell you bulked up from the vid-calls, but daaaaaaamn. You could crush a Krogan skull with those guns!”

She stepped close again and gave his bicep a squeeze with her hand.

Shepard couldn’t help but laugh as Maggie carried on, despite the angry glares of their mother, or perhaps _because_ of the glares. There was no stopping the joy that exuded from all of them. It was a beautiful day.

 

***

 

The sun was creeping towards the horizon as Shepard walked his sister back to her transport. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much that day. It was a good ache. 

He hadn’t really thought about what it would mean to complete the prestigious N-7 program. He just knew he had to get it done and get through it. It never much occurred to him about an “after;” though his commanding officers let no shortage of hints escape that there were big placements on the way for him.

“I’m glad you came, Mags. It was good to see you. But, I’m with Mom on this one. It was stupid to risk going AWOL _again_ for me...Last time, you’re lucky Anderson had your back. Just because you can break the rules, doesn’t mean you should.”

“Aww… come on, John.” She pouted. “I’ll meet up with my team at Mars before they hit the relay. Besides, the regs need shaking up every now and again. Some things are just more important than all that.”

“I shouldn’t be one of those things.” He grumbled and she gave him a fierce punch in the arm.

“Hey, OW!” he retorted, laughing and rubbing his arm. But, she was angry and serious.

“You are _EXACTLY_ one of those things.” She growled at him. “And, don’t you forget it!”

“Yes, Ma’am!” he stood up straight in a mock salute and they both nearly fell over laughing. It took a few moments for each of them to recover.

“How long is this ‘good-will’ Turian joint operation on Palaven anyways?”

“A year at least...probably two.” She sounded sad. “Rumor is the Council is behind this project, too. I’ll still message or call every month. That was our promise right?”

“Absolutely.”

“And… well… depending on where your postings take you… we might be able to visit.” She smiled at him. “I’ll bring you some Turian facepaint or something fun. As a souvenir!”

“Yeah… sure. I’ll love that.” He looked down at his feet. They had reached the transport and they were stalling the goodbyes. “Did you smooth out everything with mom?"

“As much as I can.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I’ll never be a good little soldier who follows the rules, much-less a navy officer, and that’s always going to sting her.”

“But, you’re good right?”

“Yeah. I’m good...We’re good. Are _you_ good?”

He breathed out a sigh and nodded. She grinned and stood on her tip-toes to pull him into a hug.

“I’m really proud of you, Jo-Jo. You’ve done good and you got lots more to do.”

“I got a lot to make up for.” They shared a knowing glance before, as if my mutual understanding, they stepped away from each other. Maggie headed for the transport.

“I’ll talk to you next month!” She called out to him with a wave as she boarded.

“It’s a promise! See you on the other side, Mags.” He responded with a grin and watched until the transport was out of sight.

 

*** Commander John Shepard Archived Messages Transferred to SSV Normandy SR-1 Terminal ***

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: April 11, 2181  
Subject: Happy Birthday, Jo-Jo! 

John -

See attached vid of a Marilyn Monroe Krogan singing happy birthday. 

*insert evil laughter here*

You’re welcome.

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: May 21, 2181  
Subject: RE: Graduation date details

I got the details you sent, and the dicks behind desks refuse to grant me any leave so close to our deployment for Palaven. The logic behind refusing R&R before a long-deployment continues to make me homicidal. They are putting a lot of emphasis on this “good-will joint-technology” project with the Turians. But, it’s all very hush-hush. I’m not sure what clearance you have now. But, my team isn’t even allowed to know what we’re working on, despite being the ones to do the damn work. We’re just allowed to know what equipment to bring. And, even if I did know, I couldn’t tell you anyhow. 

I’m sure you’ll look wonderful all gussied up for the ceremony – make sure Mom sends vids. This is a huge deal, John – I want you to enjoy every minute of it.

Congrats,

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: June 23, 2181  
Subject: Mars Transfer Complete

Hey – 

Met up with squad safe n’ sound at Mars way station. Turns out one of my squaddies was violating quarantine procedures with a hamster. Hah! My subtle and infiltrator-like sojourn at your graduation wasn’t even noticed. But, my CO did kick up the price of silence. Send credits? Or maybe just growl at him for me.

Heading for relay tomorrow. Let me know where you’re posting and how to contact you by extranet. Maybe we can get vidcalls going?

Lots o’ hugs

~Maggie

 

PS. See attached holos from graduation

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: July 25, 2181  
Subject: RE: Torfan Patrol posting

Wow, John. I don’t know how you could make anti-pirate patrols sound boring…but you just did. You are fighting batarian space pirates. I’m pretty sure we made a badly drawn comic about that when we were kids. Remember Rear-Admiral Face-blaster? If he was a real person, he’d be your CO right now. Or, maybe a snarky side-kick. 

Your concern for the hamster is touching. His name is “George.” I wish I could tell you he will have a long and happy life – but you do realize he’s a small furry animal stuck on a transport ship with a squad of bored engineers right? He’s already been subjected to several poorly designed aerial attempts.

T-minus two weeks or so until we’re planet side.

Boredy boredily bored,

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: August 28, 2181  
Subject: Safely Arrived on “Melt-your-face-off” Planet

Hey Jo-Jo,

Been on Palaven for a week and I’m already hating my enviro-suit. The rest of my squad is happy to be planet side instead of on transport ships. To be honest, I miss the ships. I’m in the suit at all hours, even to sleep, unless we’re in specially designed human habitats (yes, they call them habitats… MOOOOOOO!) How can you stand to be in armor 20 hours a day? I suddenly have extensive sympathy for the Quarians. 

Cool holos of alien planet, George and my squad attached.

Good news – we have steady extra-net – my address also is attached. Call me next month.

Miss your face,

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: October 15, 2181  
Subject: RE: Where the hell are you?

I’m sorry I didn’t return any of your vid-calls or messages. First off, I’m ok! But, I am in the hospital at Cipritine. Believe it or not the Turians got some good doctors. I’ve been here for a while. I got some really bad allergic reaction to SOMETHING in the field, but they don’t know what it is. The doctors were all looking at me like I made out with a Turian or something. But, they ran the tests and I’m not allergic to dextro-amino acids and only NOW are they taking my anaphylactic shock seriously. In the meantime, I’m in a clean room and I’m monitoring my team’s progress on Project Classified remotely by vid and datapad. 

They’ve run lots and lots of tests. Any crazy family allergies I should know about?

Universal rule of the galaxy – all hospital food sucks.

Solana, the Turian nurse on my floor is teaching me “Turian” – they don’t really have varying languages like we do. Just local accents. The curse words are amazing! So far my favorite is “Piss under your plates” It’s kinda like calling someone a coward. I wonder if it’s connected to “yellow-bellied” except that Turian piss isn’t yellow (the things you learn from a nurse!)

Off for more tests –

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: October 16, 2181  
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Where the hell are you?

Ha ha. Very funny. I am 100% sure that I didn’t make out with a Turian, you big jerk.

~M

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: October 22, 2181  
Subject: FUCK VARREN!

I’m allergic to Varren. Get yourself tested. Don’t eat it and don’t trust your squadmates when they fetch your lunch and tell you it’s “food.” 

Back on site for project – on target to be done by the end of 2183. So, just in case you forgot, here’s my vid-call address now that I’m back. I expect a call, soon.

If you see any stupid ugly space dogs, shoot one for me.

Your varren-phobic sister,

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: October 24, 2181  
Subject: RE: RE: FUCK VARREN!

Glad to know I got the short-end of the genetic stick. Enjoy your non-varren-allergic lifestyle.

~M

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: December 25, 2181  
Subject: Merry X-mas, Jo-Jo!

JoJo- 

I hope you got your Christmas gift. Solana helped me pick it out. It’s not facepaint (sorry!) but it’s supposed to be a coming of age thing for Turians when they leave for bootcamp or their “service”. ALL turians leave for bootcamp at 15 years old and it lasts for 7 years. Harsh, huh? Anyway, it’s called a “Kha-ril” or as near as I can spell it. I still haven’t learned the written language, probably never will. Anyway, I hope you like it!

Decking the halls with sensor hardware,

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: January 18, 2182  
Subject: RE: Happy Birthday, Mags

Ugh… I know it’s crazy right? 25 is like the end of everything. Does this mean I have to start acting like a grown-up?

‘cause I don’t wanna!

~M

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: February 21, 2182  
Subject: TURIANS ROCK!

Holos from Turian New Year’s party I told you about – I’m so glad Solana invited me! Is it bad that I like hanging with her better than my squad-mates? 

Vid ya soon.

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: March 8, 2182  
Subject: Vid me when you can

Hey John – 

I know we just spoke last week – but I need to talk to you. There’s a group of people petitioning the Turian Hierarchy for reparations for families and survivors of the First Contact War. They want me to testify. I don’t even know how to feel about it. What would I even say about Dad? You think I should?

Talk to you soon.

Love,

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: March 10, 2182  
Subject: RE: Holos of Dad

Thanks for sending these. It really helped. I’m glad we talked and I’m glad you convinced me to stay out of the political craziness. It certainly would have strained things with my Turian teammates if I was on the news for that stuff. You always have such great insights about these things. 

Hope those dumb frontier colonists appreciate you as much as I do.

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: April 11, 2182  
Subject: Happy Birthday!

You’re 28 – get a girlfriend that doesn’t fire bullets. 

Love you!

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: June 28, 2182  
Subject: Good news!

Hey Jo-Jo, 

We’re ahead of schedule and will be done by September. I am so excited to get to a planet that doesn’t require enivro-suits. Though, truth be told I spend most of my time out of atmo at the orbital construction platform. But, whenever I do go planetside to visit Solana, I gotta wear that stupid metal hell-cage. And, it’s so bloody hot!

I got some leave coming up – I was thinking about visiting mom for Thanksgiving on the _Kilimanjaro_ . Can you get leave in November and meet up with me there? I want to surprise her. Scuttlebutt says _Kilimanjaro_ is patrolling near Demeter through the end of the year.

Let me know!

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: August 31, 2182  
Subject: RE: Thanksgiving Leave & Travel Schedule

Ugh – don’t you know the meaning of “surprise!” Why’d you have to message Mom about Thanksgiving plans! You’re such boy scout! 

But, anyway thanks for putting together all these details! I can’t wait to see you. Great thought about adding a couple of extra days on the Citadel – I’m really looking forward to that. You’re forgiven for ruining the surprise only if you buy me something nice from the Citadel – I do love model ships. Hint hint.

~Maggie

 

 

To: [JoJo@shepnet.oracle  
](mailto:JoJo@shepnet.oracle)From: [MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle](mailto:MightyMaggie@shepnet.oracle)  
Date: November 11, 2182  
Subject: That’s Staff Sergeant Mags to you!

Hi Jo-Jo! 

I’m on the transport, headed to the Citadel, and I just got word of my promotion - Staff Sergeant. The top-brass is wildly pleased with the results of the project – finished almost a year early and ready for launch! Wow… it makes me so legitimate, it terrifies me. They cited my “fostering goodwill with Turian allies” AKA Turian drinking games and “exemplary project design and execution” AKA fix all the problems - in my commendation message. If I keep this up, maybe I’ll outrank you someday. HA!

I’ll bring the new star & bars for mom. Maybe it’ll get her off my back for a few months.

See you soon,

~Maggie

 


	3. Prologue 3: The Citadel

It was nearly two years before Commander John Shepard saw his sister again.

It was Thanksgiving 2182 and they had coordinated their leave to meet up on the Citadel before traveling together for holiday dinner with their mother on the _Kilimanjaro_. He had spent eighteen months leading an elite marine squad of the 10th Frontier Division in a joint operation with the 6th Fleet to root out pirate bases and disrupt smuggling operations. The operation had been a resounding success, but he was still glad for the R &R while his new orders were processed.

Shepard stepped off the transport into the press of bodies bustling about the docking bays. He was thankful for his height, towering at 1.95m and allowing him to peer over the tops of most the throng, except for the Turians who towered over the press like himself.

“Jo-Jo!” a joyous squeal caught his attention and he spied his sister, in civvies, standing in a flower bed to get above the press. She was waving enthusiastically. Shepard grinned, hoisting his bag over his shoulder and started pushing through bodies to reach her.

He saw a Turian C-sec officer approach and speak with her, probably to get her out of the planter. His sister’s growling response floated back, something that definitely wasn’t English, but Shepard was too far away for his translator to it pick up. The C-sec officer looked thoroughly surprised and angry, as much as you could tell with a Turian face. His mandibles flared and it looked like they were heading for violence before Shepard managed to casually insert himself between the two.

He dropped his bag, wrapped his arms around his sister in a hug, and bodily pulled her off of the planter and back to ground level. He locked eyes on the Turian, daring him to make a move. His size and uniform seemed to do the trick for defusing the situation as the officer retreated, grumbling under his breath.

“Maggie - making friends as always I see.” He greeted her warmly, putting a hand on her head and mussing her hair as he reached down and recovered his pack.

“I love cussing at Turians in Turian!” Maggie beamed proudly. “How was your flight?”

“Can’t complain.”

Maggie began to walk towards what he assumed was a taxi stand and he followed by her side.

“I got us a hotel room with a beautiful view of the Presidium! It’s a little small, but separate beds,” she continued as her fingers danced over her omni-tool. She flowed through the press of people smoothly without looking up. Shepard’s mere towering presence seemed to clear a path for him.

“That should be fine.” Shepard confirmed with a smile. “It can’t be as bad as when Mom was stationed on the _Leipzig_.”

“Oh, wow! The _Leipzig_. That brings back memories. Tiny as hell, the three of us hot racking that tiny bunk bed. But, I loved the prototype Thanix cannon.”

Shepard rolled his eyes. “Yes yes. I remember. Six months that was all you talked about.”

“You have no idea how handy that was.”

“What was that now?”

She grinned up at him. “Sorry… classified.”

“Brat.”

“Missed you too.”

 

***

 

It felt strange and alien to be in civilian clothes, but Maggie had insisted.

“It’s not a vacation if you’re in uniform!” she ordered and he acquiesced to her demands.

He didn’t even bring any clothes outside of his uniforms, so after cleaning up at the hotel, there was shopping to be done. Afterwards, they explored the center of galactic civilization with a semi-interested air. Shepard took in the sights with polite attention, but Maggie was far more interested in the construction of the Citadel itself.

If he heard, “Please do not disturb the keepers” from the station VI one more time, he swore he couldn’t be held responsible for his own actions.

“Maggie – just leave the space bugs alone before I have to call mom for your bail money.”

“But…” She began to protest, but he glared down at her with his “commander” face and she relented.

“Fine. I’m hungry anyway.”

After a martini lunch, they took a guided tour of the Presidium that was incredibly educational. Shepard enjoyed the history of the Council and various tales of cultural assimilation much more than he anticipated, the alcohol probably helped. With the exception of the Turians, Maggie could have cared less.

Neither of them had really anticipated how big the station was and by the end of the tour Maggie was complaining of aching feet. They rested near one of the fountains. Maggie hurdled a railing and found a secluded grassy spot, underneath an alien tree with a small bench nearby. It was pristine, isolated, and peaceful. Maggie took off her shoes and dangled her toes in the water.

“You know, that’s the station’s drinking water,” Shepard muttered, eyeing her from the bench where he sat.

“Ha! Really? My foot sweat will make it all the sweeter.” She laughed and lifted a dripping foot, pointing it towards him. “Wanna taste?”

“Ugh. Put it back in. Not done yet.”

They laughed and she returned her foot to the water, splashing happily while playing on her omni-tool.

“What are you doing?” he asked

“Sending a message to Solana.”

“Your Turian friend?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell her ‘Thanks’ for me.”

“Eh? Why?”

“Well, she helped you when you were hospitalized on Palaven, right?”

“Oh. For that? Nah. She was just doing her job… She’s got a brother here on the Citadel. He’s in C-Sec.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He sounds a lot like you – except without the boy-scout streak.”

“Ha. Someday, you’ll settle down with kids and a husband. And, you won’t mind the boy-scouts so much.”

“Riiiiiiight. The same day you spend more time with a girl than a rifle.”

“Bite me.”

“Love you too, Jo-Jo.”

 

***

 

The two days on the Citadel went by faster than either of them could have imagined. They were scheduled to depart for the _Kilimanjaro_ early the next day and decided to take a last stroll around a garden that was supposed to simulate the natural environment of Sur’kesh.

The garden, they learned, was an area for Council races. The Council took turns designing the flora and fauna and it was a relaxing, beautiful environment, despite the alien feel. Shepard and Maggie were walking the paths and talking together when Shepard’s omni-tool beeped, demanding attention. He, as usual, ignored it.

“Aren’t you going to check that?” Maggie asked, peering at his wrist.

“It can wait.”

“But, it was marked Urgent.”

“How do you know?” he asked accusingly.

“The tone of the alert. It’s different when it’s an Urgent message.”

“Huh. I never noticed.”

Maggie slapped her forehead. “I swear when it comes to technology you’re a lost cause.”

They fell silent for a minute and Maggie flicked her own omni-tool to life.

“Well, if you’re not gonna check it, then I will,” she threatened with a smile.

“Oh hell no! You are _not_ hacking my accounts again,” he growled, grabbing at her wrist. She twisted and darted away, laughing.

“Oh, I totally am!” She jumped the edge of the path and jogged across the alien grass-like lawns as the Station VI reminded her to “Please stay on the path.”

Her fingers flicked over the interface of her omni-tool like lightning. Shepard chased her to the edge of the path, frowning at the VI. She looked up from her omni-tool, meeting his eyes with a grin, daring him to come after her. Shepard narrowed his eyes.

_Challenge accepted._

She suddenly turned and ran into the garden at a sprint and Shepard cursed under his breath before running after her.

“Please stay on the path,” repeated the VI.

“Oh, suck a goat!” Maggie hollered at the VI as she broke into an awkward run to keep ahead of her brother. Her pace was hampered by her fingers still moving on her omni-tool. Shepard easily overtook her and she zig-zagged ahead of him, wriggling out of grappling range. She was all laughter and taunts while Shepard pursued her with dogged determination.

He finally tackled her into the ground and they both tumbled laughing. The brief hand-to-hand sparring session ended as it always did. Maggie got in a few quick taps, but even her speed couldn’t counteract her brother’s size, reach and training. In the end, Shepard screwed up Maggie’s omni-tool arm behind her back and pinned her face down to the grass-like flooring with expert precision.

“Agh! Uncle uncle!” She squealed with laughter, wriggling against his grip. He released her arm and stood over her, with a smug and satisfied smile.

“Ass.” She muttered, smiling up at him as she rubbed her shoulder. “Frickin’ advanced combat hand-to-hand training is not allowed in tag.”

“How exactly am I supposed to _not_ be trained?”

“Not my problem, you big cheater,” she smirked. He was about to come up with some witty retort when her omni-tool beeped and she looked down at the display, ignoring him.

“You should really check your messages, John. You got your next posting.”

He scowled.

“You got into my messages? That fast? Damnit, Mags!”

He would’ve continued but the strange and profoundly proud smile on her face stopped him. He sighed and lifted his wrist to look at his omni-tool. He took a moment to read and then shrugged.

“I guess I won’t see Mom for Thanksgiving. I’m to report ASAP to the SSV Normandy.”

“I know.” Maggie looked up at him, that strange grin on her face growing even wider.

“I’ve never heard of the Normandy. But, Anderson requested me,” he muttered, offering a hand to help her back to her feet. She took it and she bounced excitedly as he pulled her up.

“I know,” she repeated. Her grin threatened to pull her face in half.

“Anything you’d like to share?” he asked skeptically, eyeing her.

“No,” she chirped happily.

“Brat.” He muttered, nudging her back to the path.

“Love you too – now go get packed.” 


	4. Chapter 1: The Citadel

“ _ **Many men can make a fortune, but very few can build a family.” - J.S. Bryan**_

Some people, Kaidan decided, should not be allowed to flirt. Or maybe the Alliance should offer a tutorial vid on the practice.

It was the view that had prompted the young Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko to vainly attempt to engage his new squad in conversation. He simply couldn’t look away from the city-size arms spreading into the abyss. His fellow Marines had nearly walked right past the picture-perfect sight in their steadfast determination to accomplish the mission. But, the strange hue of the artificial light was nearly identical to sunrise over the bay bordering his childhood home. Kaidan smiled to himself, remembering his parent’s deck and the hours spent drinking beer. So, he’d tried to point out the beauty of the scene.

Instead, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams had steered the conversation to “tin-foil mini-skirts” and “thigh-high boots” in the galaxy’s lamest attempt at flirting. All Kaidan could do was shake his head and try to hide his sniggering.

“That will be enough, Chief.”

He tried to prevent Williams from earning herself an Article 134 court martial for fraternization. Apparently, the Commander didn’t notice.

“I can’t see her in a skirt anyway.” Shepard had dismissed the remarks with a neutral tone. Williams looked like she wanted to kick herself.

“Damn straight you can’t,” she retorted lamely, trying to salvage a hint of dignity.

He eyed her with a smirk. “Ready to move out, Commander.”

Kaidan couldn’t blame her for the attempt. Commander Shepard was a handsome man. Their XO rested his forearms on the railing of the Citadel upper wards, emphasizing his lean and muscular form. His dark and intense eyes were gazing out at the speeding rapid transit cars and the star-speckled space beyond. Not that Williams was bad looking, she just couldn’t compare to an N7.

Despite the team’s eagerness to move on to the Med-Clinic, Kaidan took a moment as he stared across the view of the Citadel to reflect on the whirlwind of events in his life recently.

Six weeks before, Kaidan had been sitting on that very same deck watching the water and drinking beer with his father. He could still remember his cousins’ laughter, practicing hockey shots against the garage while his uncles argued about some sports team or another. Sports never held much interest but there was a strange comfort to the ritual. It was that peaceful moment when his mother answered the call and he’d received notice of his new assignment on the Normandy. Alliance Command had canceled his Thanksgiving leave and he’d left immediately.

That still left him bitter. Commander Shepard, Corporal Jenkins, and his new crew had met him at the construction docks orbiting Palaven for a crash-course in the handling of their new prototype ship. Together, the new squad had spent Thanksgiving with a new Normandy family, instead of their own. To impress his new team, Kaidan had insisted on cooking.

“You want me to sit here and watch you cook Thanksgiving dinner?” Jenkins had asked, incredulous.

“You’re not watching me cook, you’re helping me drink beer,” He had rebuked him.

Shepard had praised him for creating a passable Thanksgiving meal from a handful of MREs and alcohol. He called it “Canadian black magic.” That still made him swell with pride.

 _Beef, bacon and beer...The foods of my people._ Alenko grinned to himself.

They were all prepped to leave on the maiden voyage when word came down that they were to wait for the arrival of one more crew member; a Turian Spectre named Nihlus. So, they waited and celebrated the new year of 2183 on the Normandy. Their hangovers had barely cleared when the legend himself arrived and they were en route for Eden Prime.

Kaidan avoided the shudder that ran through him at the thought of Eden Prime and spared an involuntary glance back at Gunnery Chief Williams. He knew that must be tough, being the lone survivor and watching your entire unit die around you. Another thing she had in common with the Commander. He was quietly impressed that the marine was keeping her outward appearance so casual. He suspected her flirtatious attempts were just her way of dealing with the turmoil that lurked beneath the surface. She hid it well, but he knew better.

_Poor Jenkins._

Kaidan sighed inwardly. He’d never be comfortable with losing soldiers. He bit down on the emotions, trying to focus on the lives he saved rather than the hundreds he failed.

“Sir?” Chief Williams prompted the Commander. Kaidan shook his head to pull himself from his thoughts, sharing a quick glance with Shepard. His commanding officer offered him a wan smile.

“Yeah. Alright. Let’s go find our wayward investigator. What was his name again?”

“Garrus Vakarian.” said Kaidan.

“A Turian.” added Williams reproachfully.

“I don’t care if he’s a bloody elephant in tutu as long as he can help us.” Shepard snapped. Kaidan saw the Chief step back from him, wounded and Shepard looked away guiltily.

He stepped in calmly, always acting as the peace-maker. “Med-clinic is this way.”

***

The adrenaline was still pumping hard with Commander Shepard’s racing heart after the unexpected firefight in the Med-clinic. He whirled on the C-Sec agent who was addressing him.

“What were you thinking? You could have hit the hostage!” He growled.

“There wasn’t time to think. I just reacted.”

Shepard took a deep breath, counted to ten, and put his commanding officer mask back into place. The doctor was fine. He could deal with the feelings later. It was time to work.

But, apparently the C-sec Investigator was doing most of the work for him. He stepped back and watched the Turian handle the police work, only rejoining the conversation when Officer Vakarian had confirmed their lead on Saren’s activities.

He was halfway to the door when the Turian caught his attention.

“This is your show Shepard. But, I want to take Saren down as much as you do. I’m coming with you.”

He heard Williams suck in an angry breath behind him and that made him smile. The Turian had balls...or whatever the raptor-turkey equivalent was. He didn’t ask “may I come with you?” or “permission to assist, sir!” It was just straight up “I’m coming with you.”

Simple. Direct. Brazen. Cocky.

 _Good attitude. He’s like Dirty Harry._ Shepard smiled to himself.

“You’re a Turian. Why do you want to bring him down?” Shepard prompted, testing the waters with this new comer.

“I couldn’t find the proof I needed in my investigation, but I knew what was really going on. Saren is a traitor to the Council and a disgrace to my people.”

The passion and anger was a physical sensation in the C-Sec officer’s voice and Shepard wondered if that was the Turian subharmonic communication his sister had talked about.

“Welcome aboard, Officer Vakarian.” Shepard said with a smile, offering his hand to the Turian.

And to his surprise, the Turian took it with a firm and confident shake. Vakarian’s grip was strong and strangely practiced at the awkward gesture of clasping three taloned fingers into five stubby ones. But, Shepard felt the careful restraint; the physically dominant species deliberately displaying strength without crushing his bones to pulp. You could tell a lot about a man by his handshake, human or otherwise.

_I think I’m gonna like this kid._

***

Determined and focused silence dominated the small skycar that whisked Commander Shepard, Garrus Vakarian, and the newly acquired Urdnot Wrex towards Chora’s Den. The trio was undoubtedly sporting for a fight.

C-Sec Officer Garrus Vakarian had begun his day, like most other days, sitting behind a desk listening to his incompetent co-workers make racist and xenophobic jokes while ignoring the piles of cases on their desks. Restless and angry, the Turian stomped away from his office and his paperwork. Instead, he headed for the lead at the Med-Clinic; ignoring the procedures _and_ his supervisors. When he made that brash decision, he knew it’d mean another write-up - but, he didn’t know it would mean a firefight, illegally scanning keepers, and storming into Chora’s Den for a another firefight.

It turned out to be the best decision of his life.

Garrus quietly prepped his rifle on his lap while studying the human out of the corner of his eye. There was an air of certainty about the Commander and sense of deadly purpose that drew the young Turian. Shepard was so unlike the hand-wringing bureaucratic boot-lickers that oversaw his work at C-Sec. The Commander’s simple, steady presence inspired a trust and loyalty brewing in his chest that Garrus was completely at a loss to define.

 _This is what a born leader must look like._ Garrus thought to himself enviously.

Shepard glanced at Garrus, noticing the stare. He figured the C-Sec officer might be nervous so he tried to take the edge off.

“How long have you been with C-Sec, Vakarian?” he asked conversationally as his fingers moved over his own assault rifle.

“Five years. Ever since my service ended.”

Shepard nodded. He tried to remember what his sister told him about Turian compulsory military service: boot camp at fifteen, plus seven years of active service, plus five in C-Sec. That put Vakarian’s age at about 27, only two years younger than himself and just a year older than his sister. With that realization, Shepard felt a sudden determination that no harm would come to this investigator under his command.

“You see a lot of action?”

“Enough.” Garrus responded with a casual confidence he didn’t feel.

“I’ve never fought with a Turian before. Anything I should know?”

Garrus paused and peered at the Commander his mandibles flaring into a menacing Turian grin as he cocked his rifle.

“You’ll never see my back.” he joked, making reference to the common saying about Turian military discipline.

“Good. I’ll never see your ugly face either. You’ll be on my six." Shepard responded with a fierce grin of his own and two laughed together.

Wrex shook his head, grumbling. “This is why I work alone...”

The transport landed and the trio drew their weapons as they approached.

“Let’s move. See you on the other side.”

***

After twenty-one keepers, three fire-fights, two arrests, an illegal arms deal, a self-aware gambling AI, and a dramatic Council confrontation; the first Human Spectre was itching to punch something.

Shepard forced a smile while he shook hands and exchanged courtesies with onlookers in the Council chambers, all mobbing around him to congratulate him on his fresh and shiny Spectre status. He genuinely tried to share the overwhelming enthusiasm of becoming the first Human Spectre, but the whole dirty business left a bad taste in his mouth. He was suddenly very grateful for the giant Krogan looming menacingly at his side, dissuading any more brown-nosers from approaching him.

“Not bad, for a Human.” Wrex rumbled at his side. If Shepard didn’t know any better, he’d almost think the giant Krogan was complimenting him.

“It’s just a title.” Shepard replied evasively.

“Titles don’t help in a fight.”

Between the visions of genocide, the political infighting, Ambassador Udina’s infuriating bullshit, and running laps around the Citadel on stupid errands for hours, Shepard was rapidly losing his self control. Until he felt, rather than heard, the reassuring presence of the Turian C-Sec Officer at his back.

“Through all my time in C-Sec, I-I never got the chance to witness a meeting of the Council in person.” Garrus observed with an unmistakable excitement in his voice. The Turian’s giddiness helped to calm his rising fury.

“Happy to oblige.”

They both looked up almost in unison at the sound of approaching footsteps, revealing Lieutenant Alenko leading Williams and a very uncomfortable looking Tali’Zorah Nar Rayya towards them.

The Lieutenant offered his hand to Sheppard.

“Congratulations, sir. A big win for all of humanity”

Shepard shook hands with Alenko, assuming his Commander air once more. “It was a team effort. I owe you..” he paused there and met the gaze of each team member in turn, falling on Garrus last “...all of you. A great deal of thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Thank you, Commander” The Quarian’s helmet speakers echoed as her odd three-fingered hands fiddled nervously.

“So… skipper,” Chief Williams interjected. “I think this deserves a toast. Come on back to the Normandy and we’ll celebrate with the crew.”

Shepard shifted uneasily, rubbing a hand behind the back of his neck. His eyes scanned towards exits for a possible excuses to avoid any more smoke being blown up his ass.

“I.. well..” he began awkwardly.

“I’m sorry, Chief Williams.” Vakarian stepped in smoothly, placing an armored hand on Shepard’s shoulder. “Wrex and I already asked the Commander to drinks to blow off some steam … buy a few dances…” he leered at Wrex who smirked and rumbled his accent.

“Yeah. Could use a drink.” The giant Krogan confirmed.

Shepard could have kissed that Turian right there and then.

“You are welcome to join us down in Chora’s Den…” the C-Sec Officer continued jovially, completely ignoring the look of discomfort from Williams.

“No. No, thank you.” she responded quickly. “I don’t really think that’s my scene...with the strippers and all.”

“Ms. Tali….Lieutenant?” Garrus offered with a mandible-flaring roguish Turian smile.


	5. Chapter 2: The Consort

“So, a Turian, a Krogan, a Quarian and two humans walk into a bar…” Garrus Vakarian began as he placed the round of various dextro-amino and levo-amino drinks around the table.

“Is that some kind of a joke?” Lieutenant Alenko asked skeptically.

The Turian’s mandibles tightened against his jaw, frowning.

“Well… ah. Yeah. It kinda was.”

The awkward silence was broken by a chuckle from the Commander as he reached for his drink.

“I don’t know if it’s ever happened before. Probably why you haven’t heard the joke, Lieutenant.” Shepard chided with a smile.

After the drinks were distributed, Kaidan raised his glass to Shepard.

“To the first human Spectre!” he offered as a toast.

“Here here!” echoed Garrus.

“Keelah!” cheered Tali.

“Shepard,” said Wrex with a nod.

They all clinked glasses and took sips, except for Shepard and Wrex who maintained eye contact with each other while swallowing the whole drink in one long pull. Shepard finished first and they both slammed the glasses back to the table, laughing.

Kaidan frowned at the Commander before raising his own glass to him again in acknowledgment. “Any CO who can drink like that can call me Kaidan.”

“Any human who can’t drink like that is weak,” put in Wrex, sagely.

Shepard looked at his empty glass and shrugged.

“Marines,” he muttered as if that explained everything.

The Quarian fumbled with her straw attachment to her suit and peered up at Shepard a curious tilt to her helmet.

“Marines?”

“Marines are soldiers….we tend to drink a lot.” Shepard offered solemnly by way of explanation.”It’s… uhmm… traditional.”

That got a snicker from Alenko. As if to demonstrate the point, the Krogan quickly turned his attention to a second drink.

Vakarian slid another drink in front of the Commander who nodded his thanks, impressed at the foresight of the Turian. They both fell silent and stared in quiet appreciation of the wriggling Asari dancers. Tali and Alenko chattered about some new tech gizmo, with Vakarian contributing occasionally.

Meanwhile, the giant Krogan Battlemaster shamelessly propositioned every Asari who came within reach; and, even some who didn’t. Eventually, he seemed to land a prospect by virtue of sheer tenacity. He lifted his drink in mock salute to the table, laughing.

“So long no-humps. Message me when it’s time for a fight.” He offered in parting before following the Asari into the back.

“Ugh. Do all men become bags of hormones when Asari wiggle their butts?” sighed Tali as she watched the Krogan depart.

Vakarian and Shepard shared a quiet glance, hiding their smiles behind their drinks.

“No no… not at all!” The Lieutenant raced to the defense of men everywhere. “The Krogan is a bad example of how to treat a lady.”

When Tali offered examples of misbehavior among males and Kaidan started to explain chivalry, Shepard decided it was time for another drink. He had no interest in participating in the battle of the cross-species sexes. He mumbled his excuses and headed for the bar.

He was waiting on the bartender when he heard the C-Sec Officer settle next to him.

“Excellent exit strategy, Commander.”

“Ha. I don’t think it was needed. They won’t notice we’ve left for an hour at least.” He paused, paid the bartender, and slid another drink to the Turian. Shepard turned and surveyed the bar, pausing to smile at a human who eyed him up and down appreciatively as she walked by.

“Last time I was on the Citadel, I was with my sister. Not exactly a good time to visit a place like this.” Shepard motioned about the scene of Chora's Den with a laugh, watching the woman walk away with amusement.

“Ah.” The Turian purred, following Shepard’s gaze with a hint of mischief in his subharmonics. “In which case, I’m sure you’ll want to see the Consort.”

“Yeah. I heard about her. Never paid for it, never will.”

Vakarian laughed heartily at Shepard’s stern tone. “She doesn’t always operate like that. You’d be surprised.”

“You’ve seen her before?”

The young Turian coughed into a taloned fist. “Ah ha ha. No. But, you work at C-Sec long enough you learn these things.”

“I’m gonna need to be a lot drunker for this.”

Both men laughed.

“Challenge accepted, Commander.”

Many rounds of liquid courage later, Shepard found himself teetering on his feet in the lobby of the Consort. He wasn't exactly sure, in his alcohol-fueled haze, what happened next. Something about a three month waiting list, which turned out to be five minutes when the acolyte started talking to someone through an invisible earpiece.

He vaguely recalled staring at an amazing set of blue tits during some conversation or another before the C-Sec Investigator dragged him back to Chora's Den for another round of drinks. In their absence, Alenko and the Quarian had progressed their argument to the dance floor and the Lieutenant’s flailing armored dance moves was a sight that even alcohol couldn’t purge from Shepard’s mind.

Though, he did also remember Garrus practically swallowing his tongue with laughter when he told some Turian General to man up and find his balls (did Turians have balls? He never did find out.) Then, they stoked up some badass classic Earth tunes, drunkenly headbanging all the way back to the Presidium.

Somehow, at the end of all of it, he wound up alone and naked in the presence of a tall Asari who made other Asari turn extra blue with envy.

_Maybe, there was something to this Spectre gig after all._

***

Her name was Sha’ira - and she was a professional. She’d known most every species of Council space in the most intimate of settings for over 300 years. She’d been there when the Humans first arrived and had been one of the first to greet them. She’d even brokered back door settlements that helped end the violence of the Relay 314 incident. She was especially proud of that.

So, when the first Human Spectre and the poster boy for Humanity shows up in her bed, drunker than a Krogan on Genophage day and starts rubbing at her nipples like a fumbling child, she couldn’t help but laugh. It was the best entertainment she’d had in a century.

Shepard’s fumbling was eager and ardent, but clumsy. He had never been with an Asari; that much was clear. But, it wasn’t about skill and pleasure for Sha’ira these days. She’d had enough pleasure for six lifetimes. What she was after, was experience. Every man, woman, and some in-between that she’d serviced had taught her something; and, she hoped her subtle gifts had guided them on their journeys. The purpose of the joining had little to do with her own wants, she simply used their bodies to touch into the oceans of energies beyond and transformed those energies into words. The words they needed to hear, paving the way to great destinies.

Shepard was a soldier; hard, fierce, and lethal. But, he knew when to relax. It was impossible to be anything but relaxed with the Consort stretched languidly beneath him in that strange domed bed. She was sporting an even stranger amused smile as the first Human Spectre dragged the tip of his tongue along the length of her glassy azure body. Eventually, his tongue moved to that most unusual mouth - the one whose contours were almost, but not quite, those of a human woman’s.

Asari were hairless - an evolutionary adaptation in the warm, still climate of Thessia. The quality and texture of her skin was different too; less forgiving to a mouth. She explored him in return; her fingertips pressed hard while smoother than a human’s and nearly frictionless. Shepard got the eerie sense she was toying with him; but, through the drunken haze it still counted as a win in his book.

After fifteen minutes of his floundering attempts, the Asari grasped his wrist and intertwined her fingers between his, guiding him. Slowly, she showed him how to explore her body and revealed the fullness of her labyrinth and which paths might lead her to eternity. The unfamiliar contours of her most delicate of entrances was alien. It took Shepard minutes to realize, as he sent fingers snaking down slick yielding tunnels, that her body was not designed for reproduction; but for pleasure. Pure, free, unrestrained, and unashamed pleasure.

As she shifted, stretched, and groaned, all with that preternatural Asari grace, the Commander felt her arousal begin to mount. His hands moved over and inside of her with fluid ease. It was a strange sensation. Sha’ira was not precisely wet as he expected. Instead, he felt an easy hyper-smoothness that rippled across his fingertips. Shepard had felt that slight give somewhere before; standing in dry dock at N-School as they pushed him through the subtle pressure of a mass effect field.

Damn.

Suddenly, he understood why other men had joked about in the barracks “Stay true to blue.” _Everything_ was biotic with them. Shepard shivered with anticipation and couldn’t restrain himself any longer, eagerly pushing his hips between her supple thighs.

In one swift motion, the Consort turned the tables; tightening her legs around him and flipping him onto his back. Shepard blamed the alcohol for an Asari half his weight managing to grapple him. But then again, she probably had centuries of experience in this particular take down move. Sha’ira mounted him with an agonizing slowness, despite his hungry urging, and firmly placed her blue hands on either side of his skull, forcing his eyes to meet her own. Her hips rocked into him and he groaned with a pleasure that rocketed through his whole body. Her pupils dilated wide until the black consumed her eyes.

“Embrace Eternity.”

Suddenly, his nerves were on fire and the muscles of his whole body were tingling with stimulation, and his breasts… wait… what!?

The realization made them both spasm against each other and Sha’ira slapped a hand against the dome to hold herself in place. Shepard could feel his own hips, straining and rolling with her in quick, bucking strokes and he could feel every inch of her pleasure as well, it was guiding him to push onwards.

He couldn’t tell which direction was up or down, gravity had ceased to have an effect and he was tumbling with her, buried in her, and floating amongst the stars with her. With her body at least, somehow he felt her consciousness was reaching far deeper into the currents and oceans of galaxies than he could comprehend. The truth was he really didn’t care. He was a Human man who got to experience multiple orgasams; it was the best sex of his life.

“By the goddess…”

She panted after their nervous systems disengaged. Shepard was a trembling mass of jelly, his body twitching while his mind slowly reintegrated into it. Sha’ira looked down at him, a perplexed and terrified look crossing her face. She touched his cheek lightly.

“Such burdens for one so young…”

The Consort sounded wistful and sad, a distant remorse in her tones. Shepard hardly heard her over the pounding of his own heart in his ears. His chest was heaving and his entire focus was on keeping his sweaty, trembling, body from melting into the mattress.

“B-Burdens?”

The Consort ignored him and rolled out of the bed. She shrugged into a robe and proceed to the sideboard. She needed a drink for the first time in decades.

Sha’ira had glanced at Shepard’s paths. His journey was something she’d rather not have seen. She placed his armor at the edge of the bed and left the man to dress as she proceeded to pour herself a heavy drink. She nursed it slowly and allowed herself to process the dark future and pain she’d witnessed, trying to siphon out the path, the _words_ , that would steer him true.

Shepard tried to sit up, but his limbs felt like lead. Strangely, he felt very sober. How long had it been? He waited until gravity felt as if it had returned to normal before sliding back into his under-weave and bit-by-bit latching himself back into his armor. It was a lengthy process. By the time he’d finished, the Consort was waiting calmly for him near the door.

“I offer a gift of words, Commander. An affirmation of who you are, and who you will become... I see you, your uniform fits as though you were born wearing it. You are a soldier through and through, proud, solitary, alone. But, it gives you strength. That strength is what kept you alive when everyone around you was dying. You alone survived. You will continue to survive. This may be who you are, but it is not who you will become. It only forms the basis for your future greatness. Remember these words when doubt descends, Commander.”

She had also placed a small piece of Prothean technology into his hand. She hoped it would prove useful to him.

“What is it?” Shepard asked.

“A small mystery. I have never learned it’s use or purpose, but I sense it is time for me to pass it on. And now, I must ask you to leave, Commander. I have done everything I can for you.”

Shepard blinked as she took his arm. He was stunned, confused, still basking in the afterglow and felt like an ass for just walking away. But, she was leading him to the door.

“Sha’ira… thank you.. but…”

“Remember my words, Commander Shepard. Look to your family for understanding. A family you will build, not sire, on your journey. They will give you strength.”

And, with that, she closed the door behind him.

Shepard stared at the door a moment, looked down at the trinket in his hands, then back at the door. He knew somehow her words were supposed to have deep meaning, like some kind of ritual. Her understanding of his background was odd, but nothing that couldn’t be pulled from the extra-net. Part of him wondered if this was her great scam, blending the boundaries between spiritualist and sexual healing. But, she hadn’t charged him.

_A family I will build, huh?_  

***

Garrus woke up groggily when he heard the doors from the Consort’s chambers open, trying to figure out how and why there was an Asari acolyte sleeping across his lap and another Human acolyte under his arm. They were all three clothed, he noted with faint disappointment. For the second time that evening, Garrus had passed the time in the waiting area while Shepard met with the Consort. Except, this time, he was pretty sure he had passed out.

Garrus started to put the broken pieces of memory together. The first visit only resulted in going back to Chora’s Den. The Commander insulted some Turian General while Garrus had piled the drunken Alenko and Tali into a transport. He vaguely recalled the Quarian singing, but that couldn’t have been right. The details afterwards were fuzzy, but he thought he remembered an Elcor. Then, he was reminded of Shepard drunkenly daring him to hack the Avina terminal based on some ancient Human music and he groaned.

The Commander walked down the stairs from the Consort’s chambers steadily and met Garrus’ eye with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at the Human and the Asari sleeping precariously on top of him. No words needed to be said. Garrus extracted himself from the pile and fell into step behind him.

“Shepard, I don’t know about you, but maybe we could swing by the Med-clinic on our way to the Normandy.” Garrus mumbled holding his head.

“Can’t hold your liquor, Garrus?” Shepard asked laughing. There was an undeniable pep in his step that made the Turian mutter darkly under his breath.

_When did he start calling me Garrus?_ he thought to himself blearily. _And why is he so frickin’ chipper?_

Garrus paused and looked over his shoulder at the giggling acolytes of the Consort chamber.

_Oh. Right. That’s why._

“Just because I want some hangover meds doesn’t mean I can’t hold my liquor.” The Turian grumbled irritably, wincing from the light of the presidium.

Shepard was looking at him thoughtfully, like he was coming to a weighty conclusion. Garrus squirmed under his scrutinizing gaze. They’d only been working together a matter of days, but the implicit understanding was uncanny.

“How long?” Garrus asked.

“Three years plus. Since N-School. You?”

“Still counting.”

“Damn… I thought those acolytes…” he left the rest unsaid when Garrus shot him a grumpy and hung-over glare.

Without a word, they moved together towards the transports, passing the Avina interface. Shepard paused to give a nearby keeper a poke.

“Please do not fear the reapers” the VI chimed.

Shepard burst out laughing and slapped a hand on Garrus’ shoulder; an unexpected gesture of familiarity.

“Excellent job, Garrus! Next time have her say “More Cowbell,’ ” the Spectre grinned, enthusiastically.

Garrus, despite his hangover, smiled at the Commander.

“I was reeeeaaally hoping I had dreamed that part of last night...” Garrus sighed as they piled into a transport, heading for the C-Sec docking bays. “...But you made me listen to the song on your omni-tool and threatened me with violence...How could I refuse?”

Shepard grinned like a school-boy, punching Garrus lightly in the arm.

“Still want to go back to C-Sec?”

Garrus laughed.

“No, Shepard. I think you’re stuck with me.”

 


	6. Chapter 3: The Normandy

Shepard was a survivor; but, that didn't make him a leader.

Through over ten years of military service, four of those in N-7 training, and three deep space tours, Shepard still couldn't define what made a good leader.

But, he knew soldiers.

Shepard was proud to be a soldier, a true soldier. Wearing the uniform didn't magically transform the man or woman beneath it. There were plenty of shit birds in the Alliance. Bullies, gang members, drop-outs, or struggling colonists with no other options. They'd do their jobs, they'd follow orders. But, that didn't make them soldiers.

Real soldiers didn't fight for a cause or an agenda. They understood the mission for what it really was. Necessity. They fought for the man on their right and the family back at home. If they were lucky, they even got to return home to see them.

Shepard didn't expect his men to put their asses on the line for anything he wouldn't gladly do himself. So, he made it a point to learn about his team, to talk to them every day, to remind them about the man on their right and the family back at home as often as possible. Shepard never wanted to tell his crew "Go Boys Go" when facing danger. For him, it would always be "Come boys, follow me."

Then, there was Garrus. Alien or not, he was a soldier.

As Shepard made his rounds through the Normandy, he always saved his conversations with the Turian for last. It gave him something to look forward to. Garrus was a hell of a soldier, but he wasn't one of his team in the same sense as the others. Garrus chose to join. Wrex chose to join as well, but he was driven more by a need for violence. Tali had a debt of honor and a shameless obsession with his drive core. The others were Alliance military through and through. But, Shepard had an immediate understanding with the Turian that put him instantly at ease.

The C-Sec Officer had a brilliant tactical mind, an equally impressive sense of humor, and believed in him without the doting admiration of a subordinate. The Turian provided the mutual respect and advice of a friend and it was something Shepard sorely needed in the unfamiliar freedom of "Spectre-hood."

It was about two weeks since they left the Citadel. The team had taken a few odd-jobs, making a slow and circuitous route to Knossos system to find a missing Dr. T'soni. Shepard wanted to get a feel for the team and their abilities before he led them into some kind of serious firefight. He was cautious and calculating with the risks. He knew all too-well the consequences of being unprepared. Akuze had seen to that. Prepared or not, they were two days out from the system, according to Joker.

The next day they were scheduled for a few hours on Eden Prime to let Chief Williams bury her grief and to remind the rest of the crew the stakes they were fighting for. Shepard also wanted to reassure himself that the settlement was secure. He had re-established communication his sister and learned her unit in the 4th Division of the Engineering Corps was heading to Eden Prime to help with reconstruction. The last thing he wanted was an undiscovered Geth putting bullets into Maggie while she had her head in a defense matrix of some kind.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Gunnery Chief Williams had misunderstood the gesture and Shepard felt like an even bigger ass for misleading his subordinate into dangerous Article 134 territory. He was going to have to deal with that soon and it was probably going to be ugly. The situation was sticky enough that Shepard decided to handle it in the most Human and manly way possible. That is, he avoided the conversation entirely.

_I'd rather deal with Geth than women…_  Shepard muttered to himself darkly as he ducked his head into the Mako's engines with the former C-Sec officer.

"Thanks for bringing me on board, Commander" Garrus greeted Shepard. "I knew working with a Spectre would be better than life at C-Sec."

Shepard sighed with relief. What a breath of fresh air a "thank you" was compared to the rest of his rounds that evening. He gave Garrus an understanding nod of acknowledgement.

"Have you worked with a Spectre before?" he carried on casually.

"Well no, but I know what they're like. Spectres make their own rules. You're free to handle things your way."

Shepard chuckled at how misinformed  _that_ assumption truly was. But, he listened regardless as Garrus carried on complaining about C-Sec rules and bureaucratic red-tape. Shepard tried to defend the regulations and admitted that his arguments seemed weak, even to him. But, when Garrus got a bit over-eager about doing the job "his way," Shepard stood firm.

"If getting the job done means endangering innocent people, then no. We get the job done right; not fast." He said in his unshakeable "Commander" tone.

"I wasn't trying to….I understand, Commander." The Turian slumped.

Shepard nodded at that and started to head back for the elevator. He got a few steps and then paused as a thought struck him.

_He sounds a lot like you – except without the boy-scout streak._  His sister's voice echoed in memory.

He turned back to the Turian.

"I know this is probably a long-shot…But, you wouldn't happen to have a sister who's a nurse in Cipritine, would you?"

Garrus looked up, mandibles twitching, clearly disconcerted.

"She's in med-training… yeah." he answered, clearly suspicious.

"Solena? Solana? Something like that?"

Garrus pulled himself up to his full height and took a step toward the Commander. Shepard was tall, like his father, so he had been told. But, even at average height for a Turian, Garrus still had a few inches on him and he used them to loom menacingly.

"Solana. And, if you are threatening her or  _any_  of my family…" Garrus began, a growl punctuating his words.

_Oh, for the love of…_

Shepard sighed and put up his hands in a placating gesture.

"No no… Absolutely not, Garrus. It's just…well,  _my_  sister said...Good god, I'm going to need a drink to have this conversation," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

A few hours and several drinks later Garrus and Shepard were seated on the floor of the Commander's cabin with two bottles and a two glasses between them, laughing so hard both of their sides hurt.

"So, your sister….They thought she just got too friendly with the locals?" Garrus asked between huffing laughs.

Shepard laughed with him.

"That's what the doctors thought. She swore up and down it wasn't the case. I even gave her grief about making out with Turians off-duty."

"Oh… spirits! That's rich..." Garrus paused to refill both their glasses from the respective bottles. "...But, she was allergic to Varren? Really?"

"Yup. Your sister was the only one who caught it, apparently. Insisted they do a dexto-amino whatever test..." Shepard's laughter suddenly faded and he stared down somberly at his drink. "...Probably saved her damn life."

"Wow." Garrus mused, pride touching his subharmonic tones. "I can see why they would become friends afterwards..." The Turian also looked down at his drink, remorse slipping into his voice. "...I guess I haven't been in touch with my sister much since I've been on the Citadel."

Garrus paused for a long moment, thinking about his family and the fresh anger that still gnawed at him. His father hadn't taken the news of his C-Sec resignation well.

"My sister and I made a promise to catch-up every month… after…." Shepard sighed and lay back on the floor. "...well...we had lost touch for awhile. Maybe, you should do something like that too."

"Yeah. Maybe."

The silence stretched as they studied their drinks and their thoughts. The two men shared the companionable quiet, listening to the hum of the Normandy's engines as minutes ticked by.

"Hey, Garrus?" Shepard prompted.

"Mnhf?"

"You think the universe is mocking us? I mean, what are the odds that our sisters would be friends and that… well… we'd end up working together?"

Garrus barked out a laugh. "Out of the trillions of Turians and trillions of Humans. Pretty bad odds. But, if the universe is mocking us, well, we can mock it right back."

Shepard sat up slowly and semi-drunkenly, reaching for his glass with a slight groan of effort. "Oh yeah? I'm pretty sure it's bigger and meaner than the two of us."

Garrus nudged Shepard's glass across the floor to him. Shepard picked it up with a nod of thanks.

"But, not nearly so good looking." Garrus retorted, grinning with a menacing Turian flare.

Shepard took one look at him and nearly folded in half laughing.

"Me, maybe. But, you're just a bad movie monster."

"Ahh… Don't be jealous, Shepard. You'll grow some fringe and style someday."

Shepard straightened himself with a smirk and clinked glasses with Garrus.

"Sure, brother. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

***

Shepard involuntarily twitched at the sound of gunfire. It was a familiar sound in an unfamiliar circumstance.

He held his formal salute stiffly, uncomfortable in his formal dress Alliance Blues, waiting patiently for the cessation of the twenty-one gun salute. The new fastenings indicating his command of the Normandy glittered prettily in the Eden Prime sun as the friends and family gathered to pay their respects to Corporal Richard L. Jenkins.

He held the salute through the presentation of the flag and the playing of the Alliance anthem. He had never been to a military funeral for his own soldier before. He was grateful that Lieutenant Alenko had attended with him. The two of them caused quite the stir. Some muttered curses for the Alliance failure to protect the colony, but more offered outspoken praise for their assistance and sacrifice in Eden Prime's defense. A young boy, Jenkins' little brother, stared at Shepard specifically, his eyes puffy from tears and his lower lip trembling. His gaze made Shepard even more uncomfortable.

After the funeral, Shepard offered his respects to the family. He offered solemn formal salutes and instead was pulled into friendly hugs and handshakes. The Commander was stunned.

_They're thanking me for failing their son? Grief affects everyone differently, I suppose._

Jenkins' father was firm in his handshake and his words. "Kill 'em. Kill 'em all for my boy."

"Yes sir." It was all Shepard could think to say.

Kaidan and Shepard walked together in reflective silence back to the spaceport after the funeral. Shepard was lost in his thoughts, counting all the men he'd lost, reciting each of their names in his mind and adding Jenkins to the list.

_You will honor them, John Shepard._

Damn straight he would. He'll decorate their graves with Saren's entrails. If Turians have entrails...they got to have right? How would they eat without….

Shepard was wrenched from his thoughts by the sound of movement approaching from behind. He stopped suddenly and turned, his eyes scanning the path suspiciously.

"Commander, is something wrong?" Kaidan asked.

"I heard something."

Shepard drew his sidearm and Kaidan concentrated, his biotics flaring to life. A heartbeat later the young boy from the funeral came running into view. Shepard immediately holstered his weapon and took a few anxious steps towards the boy.

"Mr. Commander, sir!" The child called after them.

"What happened? Is something wrong?"

"No… I…" he panted to catch his breath and looked back and forth between the two Marines uncertainly.

"Take your time, kid."

The boy was shaking. He couldn't have been more than six years old. He had the same sandy brown hair and bright blue eyes as Jenkins, but his face was streaked with tears.

"Sir… I just… why did they kill Rich? Why… why would they do this! We didn't do anything to them! They  _attacked_  us!"

Shepard took a deep breath and knelt before child. He was tall so it brought him to eye level with the boy's tear-filled eyes. He gently placed his hands on the child's shoulders.

"It was a man who did this. A lost and angry person. Your brother was very brave and died trying to stop him. He died protecting you and your family."

"But, what if there are more people like him?"

"That's why we have to be good to each other. To stop bad people before they start."

"But, you'll stop them? When there are bad people?"

"Me and Kaidan here and a lot of other good men and women in the Alliance just like your brother. We'll stop them."

"It doesn't matter - we're moving back to Earth. Dad said it isn't safe here."

"We'll make it safe for you to come back."

Shepard made the statement confidently, without missing a beat. The boy stared up at him in awed silence for a moment before throwing his arms around Shepard's neck. The Commander hesitated before hugging him back softly. The boy reminded him of his own sibling. It made Shepard's chest ache to think of some other Marine attending his funeral, comforting his own sister like this. Then again, Maggie would probably be throwing punches.

Shepard sent the boy on his way home and it was only afterward that he realized Ashley had been watching the whole scene from the spaceport. The Gunnery Chief fell into pace next to him and Kaidan as they made their way back to the Normandy. The scowl on her face was vicious.

"It wasn't a  _man_ who did this. It was a Turian," she growled.

"Turians are not different or special. They're jerks and saints, just like us." Kaidan said quickly and with an intense fervor that made the Commander glance at him.

"Well said, Kaidan" Shepard said with a smile.

Ashley looked like she was about to argue; but, she caught the way Shepard was looking at Kaidan. If only the Commander would look at her that way. Kaidan smiled up at Shepard with a hint of a embarrassment and Shepard patted the Lieutenant on the back.

"Humanity and the Turians both could probably use a few less jerks. We'll consider this mission community service."

"Killing as community service? You're an ass, Shepard."

"Did you just call you CO an ass, Lieutenant?"

"No, I called my friend an ass. Pssh. Talk about sensitive."

They laughed together all the way back to the Normandy with Ashley stewing bitterly just behind them.

***

"I.. I know things are different aboard the Normandy; but I'm concerned about the aliens...Vakarian and Wrex. With all due respect Commander, should they have full access to the ship?"

Shepard immediately regretted his previous statements about 'open door policies' as he tried to allay the Gunnery Chief's xenophobic concerns. He knew she wasn't the only one aboard who felt that way. Presley had been forthcoming with his concerns and he knew quite a few of the Normandy's support crew had lost family in the First Contact War. He navigated the murky waters of Ashley's touchy feelings with extreme caution.

"I… don't think kissing Turians will be necessary, Williams."

_This is why I don't date; women are so bloody complicated._ Shepard grumbled to himself.

"You never know, Commander."

_Awkward..._

Shepard started to turn away, this conversation had gotten far too weird, far too quickly.

"Commander? Just one more thing…"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for stopping back at Eden Prime. I know you didn't have to. But, it helped a lot….to...to say goodbye to my squad like that."

"Glad I could help, Williams."

"It helped Alenko, too. Making sure Jenkins got to be buried at home."

Shepard took a second look at the Gunnery Chief. He hadn't realized she was so close with Kaidan. The Lieutenant had ultimately convinced Shepard to attend the funeral. Strangely enough, their presence at the service seemed to really bolster the colony. The survivors took great pride in the fact that the first Human Spectre had paid his respects to one of their own.

It had taught him a lot about the Lieutenant, too. Especially after the night of somber drinking following the funeral, he would count the fellow Marine as a friend. He still remembered the look on the face of Jenkins' little brother. It broke his heart. His voice was choked as he tried to slip away.

"Sure, Williams."

"How did you get over Akuze?" Ashley blurted out suddenly, her cheeks turning pink the moment she realized how stupid she was being. But, now she couldn't stop herself from babbling.

"I mean… if it's ok to ask… I-If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. I just…. it's hard, you know? I just thought… maybe… we could talk to each other about more than… well… the mission."

"If it's all the same to you… I'd rather not talk about it."

"I understand, Commander."

Ashley tried to catch his eyes. Shepard's thousand-mile stare was looking right past her, already turning away. His voice seemed haunted.

"We'll talk later, Williams."

Ashley winced sympathetically as she watched him walk away.

_No one should have to go through that alone…_ The Gunnery Chief sighed to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note:
> 
> Drksyders here! Another loving shout-out to Roarkshop in this chapter. The lines "Go boys go" and "Come boys, follow me" references a famous quote used in from Sense and Flexibility, Chapter 9.


	7. Chapter 4: Therum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> Drksyders here! I just wanted to apologize for missing our chapter post last week. Entirely my fault! I was out of town, added some last minute changes, and life just got in the way. I promise I'll do my best to not let it happen again! Thanks again for all your comments, faves, follows, etc. Feel free to drop us messages! We like hearing from ya'll! <3

 

" _You can't step on the red ones, Garrus - they're lava!"_

" _Can I shoot the red ones?"_

_Solana shrugged. "I don't see why not."_

Lava is not nearly as much fun in person.

The memories of childhood games came unbidden to Garrus' adrenaline-fueled thoughts. He seriously regretted not contacting his family like Shepard had repeatedly suggested.

Between Shepard's lava-friendly driving, defense turrets, a small army of Geth, and then a Krogan Battlemaster, Garrus' life had flashed before his eyes so many times he was at risk of developing perfect recall like a Drell. He refused to allow the slightest hint of fear crack is cool exterior and his bantering with the Commander kept the panic at bay. He was coming to realize just how much he was reveling in the moments of violence; ridding the high of the adrenaline and the heightened focus of the danger.

He'd never felt more alive.

Following Shepard's mad visions was the clearest path to saving lives Garrus had ever seen. As he ran for his life just behind the Commander and just in front of an erupting volcano, it occurred to the Turian that he would never, ever, return to his life at C-Sec.

He was right where he was supposed to be.

Garrus pulled himself up to his feet and immediately surveyed the state of the ground team. Shepard was lifting the Asari, Dr. T'soni, back to her feet and they both seemed to be unhurt. He moved to Alenko to help the Lieutenant back to his feet. They both stumbled as the Normandy shook, just outrunning the exploding volcano behind them. The cargo bay doors had barely locked into place when Joker's mocking tone crackled over the intercom.

"Too close Commander, ten more seconds and we would have been swimming in molten sulfur. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for future reference."

Garrus and Kaidan shared a look and the Lieutenant rolled his eyes. They both turned to look at the Commander who was talking in hushed tones to the Asari, his hands hadn't disengaged from her sides. Garrus smirked to himself at the scene. Kaidan took a step, starting to move towards them. Garrus grabbed the Lieutenant by the elbow, obviously startling the man.

"Why… don't you help me check on damage to the Mako, Lieutenant Alenko. We can catch up with the Commander at the debrief." Garrus rumbled, the subtle protective threat of his subharmonics completely lost on the Human.

Kaidan frowned at Garrus then glanced over at the Commander whose entire attention seemed to be focused on the Asari in his arms.

"Ah. Yeah. Right, Garrus," he finally caught on and allowed himself to be pulled off to the opposite side of the cargo bay by the Turian.

Garrus glanced over his shoulder at the Commander who was now hugging the distraught Asari.

_He defeats a Battlemaster, squares up the mission, and saves the girl...like a bloody video game,_  Garrus chuckled to himself.

***

That night, alone in her borrowed sleeper pod, Dr. Liara T'soni tried to remember her mother. It wasn't because Benezia was a traitor, though, it was still abundantly clear the rest of the Normandy crew were very concerned about  _that_ fact. Instead, Liara found herself actually trying to remember her mother's lessons, specifically the techniques and litany to control the boundaries of her own mind.

The joining was complicated, delicate, and exhausting. The whole process was made even more difficult by Liara's complete inexperience. She'd never joined with a Human before, well, in truth she'd never really joined with anyone before outside of her basic juvenile training. Part of her still worried that she'd made a mistake and somehow corrupted the data from the Prothean beacon while transferring it from the Commander's frail human mind into her own. Then again, the Commander's will was the most forceful thing she'd ever encountered. Perhaps the data wasn't the problem.

The Commander's mind was strong. So strong, in fact, that she'd been entirely unprepared and unshielded. The boundaries between their two identities had blurred. The Prothean visions from Eden Prime had seeped into her mind along with dozens of other memories, emotions, subconscious thoughts, and unspoken wishes. She'd glimpsed deep and private parts of the Commander's essence. As she tried to find her way to sleep, those pieces invaded her mind. No matter how hard Liara tried, she couldn't re-establish the boundaries between her own identity and the shadows of resigned nobility left by the Commander.

Distraction was the solution, she decided eventually, something that could allow her to refocus. The stars. She needed to see the stars. It took her longer than it probably should have to orient herself on the alien frigate, but eventually she'd found her way to the cockpit.

"Whoa! Asari on the bridge. Should I salute or something?"

Liara nearly threw a biotic blast in automatic response to the unseen voice because it startled her so thoroughly. Apparently, Human ships utilized a stationary oversized workstation that kept the pilot hidden until she was practically standing on top of him. The odd and strangely informal greeting originated from another Alliance crew-member that she hadn't met. The man was sitting at his station, eating sweet-smelling discs from a bag. Liara recognized the voice and struggled to find the appropriate response.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was here. I just wished to see the stars. Am I not supposed to be here? I'll leave… my apologies."

She turned as if to go, but the pilot stopped her.

"Hey, no regs against looking at the view. Help yourself."

"Thank you." Liara stepped forward and stood quietly next to the helmsmen. She stared out at the passing stars.

Joker craned his neck to look up at the newest addition to the Normandy crew. He certainly wasn't an expert at aliens, but it didn't take a psych wizard to see that this particular Asari was not in a happy place. He chewed thoughtfully on the homemade snickerdoodle cookies (a gift from his mother) and decided to stick his nose where it wasn't wanted, as usual.

"You look like you got something on your mind." He held out the paper sack and offered the Asari a cookie. "Have a cookie and tell your Uncle Joker all about it."

Liara glanced at the man and cautiously accepted a cookie.

"It's nothing of importance. Just, the joining, is difficult to control and I am... not very experienced. I received more than just the beacon visions from the Commander's mind. Other thoughts, feelings, even memories."

Joker raised an eyebrow.

"So, you got into the Commander's head? Like...literally?"

Liara could almost feel herself blushing and she looked away.

"He is an intense and powerful man," she answered evasively.

"Wow," Joker considered this a moment as he took another bite of cookie. When he spoke again, his mouth was full. "Whad'd you see inmf dere?"

"I'm not sure that's appropriate…"

"Awww… come on! I gave you a cookie!"

Liara looked at the cookie still untouched in her fingers and took a tentative nibble. Her eyes widened and she looked at Joker again with an expression of amazed enjoyment. The doctor then proceeded to devour the baked treat eagerly, licking sugar crumbs from her fingers.

"See? They're called snickerdoodles. My ma made them." Joker gloated.

"Snickerdoodles," Liara repeated thoughtfully. "They are very good."

"Mom'll be glad to hear that… So, now you can't hold out on me. What was in Shepard's head?"

"Well, the Commander has many powerful emotions. I think Humans experience emotions much more strongly than Asari do. But, I felt a strong protective affection for a woman….Maggie."

Joker managed to hide his eye-rolling, barely. That was definitely disappointment in the Asari's tone. Time to double up the wing-man duties.

"Oh, right. Maggie? That's his sister. She calls all the time, kind of snarky - but, I wouldn't know anyone like that. Cute, though."

"His….sister?" The Asari sounded completely relieved.

_Good grief._  Joker grumbled to himself.  _She's like a school-girl with a crush._

"Yup. Shepard is a great guy. Takes care of his sister, volunteers with homeless kittens, rescues Asari maidens from the forces of rogue Spectres - all around pillar of humanity he is."

"I see. You respect him greatly."

"Absolutely. We all do. You know he's single, right?"

From behind them, Shepard's bass voice rang out like an emergency klaxon.

"Who's single?" The Commander asked as he approached.

Liara's spine stiffened and her eyes widened like a deer in the headlights.

"I am," Joker responded without missing a beat. He dropped his head, stooped his shoulders, and slowly turned back to the controls, shaking his head sadly. "So very,  _very_ , single." He muttered.

Shepard and Liara both stood in awkward silence. Liara cleared her throat.

"*ahem* Commander, I had some findings I wished to discuss with you, if you have a moment?"

Shepard stepped slowly backwards away from his pilot. "Right, uhmm… absolutely. Let's talk downstairs."

Joker glanced over his shoulder and watched Shepard and Liara walk together through the CIC.

"You're welcome, Commander," he snickered to himself.

Downstairs, in the mess hall, Ashley waited. She was hoping to catch the Commander as he headed to his quarters. She jumped to her feet when the Shepard rounded the corner, gingerly stepping towards him, but she came up short when she realized he was following Dr. T'soni to her quarters. He didn't even see the Gunnery Chief. His eyes were locked on a swaying Asari posterior.

Ashley cursed irritably under her breath as she stood, deflated, in the center of the mess.

"Something on your mind, Chief?"

It was Kaidan's voice that called to her. The Lieutenant was looking at her from his weapon's bench, sleeves rolled up past his elbows revealing lean and muscular forearms. The genuine look of concern in his soft brown eyes managed to stifle her growing anger. She blew out an irritated breath and approached the biotic.

"God, did you see the way he looked at her ass?"

Kaidan chuckled quietly to himself, only ruffling the Gunnery Chief even more. "Was he? I didn't notice."

"It's disgusting - she's not even human." Ashley complained.

"Close enough," Alenko returned with a shrug. "You can't blame him. Afterall, you know what they say. Biotics do it better."

Ashley scoffed. "Where did you hear that from?"

Kaidan glanced up at his fellow Marine with a lopsided smirk. "From satisfied customers."

That managed to draw a laugh from Ashley. "We're talking about combat, right?'

"All sorts of combat…"

She shook her head as if she refused to admit the implications of Kaidan's jibe.

"Does that mean you charge for your service?"

"I'd never charge you, Chief. On the house."

"You're a pig, Alenko."

_Canadian bacon_. Kaidan smirked to himself. But, out loud he said "You know you love it."

Ashley rolls her eyes and waved a hand dismissively at the Lieutenant. "Goodnight, Porky."

Kaidan grinned at her. "Sweet dreams, Williams."

***

Hours after most of the crew had begun their sleep cycles, Garrus was still buzzing with adrenaline and nervous energy from the fight on Therum. As a soldier, he could sleep almost anywhere if he really set his mind to it. But, it was his mind that was the problem. So many, many, things had run through his head during the fight (thankfully none of them bullets) and he barely had time to process what he had experienced.

It was his first real mission with the Commander and he was pretty sure it had changed his life. Fiddling with the Mako at this time of night would certainly disturb Wrex sleeping in the cargo bay. So, he decided to take his weapons up to the mess hall for a complete disassembling and cleaning. The weapons needed it after the dust and mess of the fight and it gave him something to do with his talons while his thoughts wandered.

Garrus passed Lieutenant Alenko as he emerged from the elevator. They glanced at each other briefly. Garrus nodded politely. Kaidan looked at the weapons and shook his head wearily.

"Do Turians ever stop working?" Kaidan asked.

"Sure. Sometimes we're asleep. Other times, we're pulling lazy humans out of exploding volcanoes." Garrus quipped jovially.

Kaidan chuckled appreciatively. "That sounds like work to me. This lazy human is hitting the sack. Goodnight, Vakarian."

"Goodnight, Alenko."

Garrus watched the biotic go and smiled to himself proudly. The Normandy was very different from a Turian military ship, but he was pleased to be settling in and falling into the easy camaraderie of the team. He settled himself at a table, spreading out cloth, gun oil, rags and brushes in a familiar pattern, like setting an altar for a religious rite with the modified Mantis sniper rifle in the center. He smiled to himself giving the rifle an affectionate pat before he started to disassemble it and clean each part.

He'd only been working for a few minutes when he noticed movement in the med-bay. He glanced up and saw the Commander leaving what had been hastily set up as Liara's quarters. His mandibles fluttered slightly as he fought his smile, pretending not to notice the Commander who emerged into the mess hall and looked startled to see him. Garrus looked pointedly at his work, scraping off a chunk of lava caked to his gun and ignoring Shepard like it was a mission.

"Garrus…" the Commander seemed to chide him like an older brother. "What are you doing up?"

Garrus looked up at the Commander his mandibles clicking as if to say "really?" then looked pointedly back to his rifle and back to Shepard once again.

"Ah. Good idea. Mind if join you?"

"It's your ship, Commander."

Garrus slid the gun oil closer to the opposite side of the table and tossed a few spare rags as well. Shepard disappeared into his quarters and came back a moment later with his assault rifle and shotgun. He sat across from Garrus and quickly got to work. Before long, the table was covered with gun parts, dirty rags and cleaning brushes in an organized chaos of pieces.

"So, how's the good doctor settling in?" Garrus probed, unable to stop the teasing tone from infiltrating his sub-vocal communication.

Shepard pretended not to notice the implications. "She's just shaken up from the experience is all. And, taking the news of her mother's treachery pretty well."

Garrus winced, suddenly regretting his teasing. Liara had been through alot and Shepard didn't need any grief.

"Well, it certainly got pretty intense down there today."

"It did..." Shepard confirmed. "...was more than we bargained for. You did good though, Garrus. I couldn't have done it without you."

Shepard's tone was suddenly serious, his hands had stopped cleaning the gun component in his hand, he looked directly at the Turian.

Garrus looked up at him and felt a fierce warmth spreading across his chest at the compliment. They stared at each other a moment and Garrus nodded stiffly as if to acknowledge the unspoken conversation that passed between them before looking back at his own cleaning efforts.

"Of course you could have, Shepard. Just not as stylishly, of course."

Shepard laughed and returned to his cleaning. The good-natured teasing eased the tension from them both. They settled into amused and quiet conversation, complementing each other on particular heroics from the encounters that afternoon.

"It's really a design flaw. I mean, they put that flashlight in the middle of their head like the center of a target. It just makes hitting the processing core all the easier." Garrus bragged.

Shepard laughed and nodded towards the sniper rifle.

"Design flaw or not. Impressive shooting..." Shepard paused and stared at the rifle. "...Huh. Garrus, what's that?"

Shepard indicated a small metallic plate, about the size of a dog tag mounted on the stock of the rifle.

"Oh, that?" Garrus spun the gun around to look at it. "My  _Kahw-rieal_ … pretty much all Turians have one."

"Your what? I think my translator just cursed at me."

Garrus' mandibles seemed to jerk in multiple directions as he thought.

"I don't know how to explain it. It's something your family gives when a Turian leaves for their service. Usually, your father gives it to you."

Shepard frowned at the unmistakable hurt in Garrus' voice. You didn't have to be a Turian to hear that one. He tried to sidestep the subject.

"Huh. Really. You know, I think my sister got me one."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. She said  _your_  sister helped."

He pulled out a chain from under his shirt and revealed his dog tags. A third and oddly shaped piece of metal of a distinctly different hue hung next to his tags. The corners were cut off and blunted. The thin metal had unmistakably Turian writing that glittered on both sides. He pulled the whole set over his head and handed them to Garrus.

Garrus took the set from across the table and peered at it closely. He realized his sister had probably also held this same  _Kahw-rieal_  helping a man she had never met for a Human she called a friend. A warm Turian smile passed over his face and mandibles as he examined it.

"Spirits! So, she did!" He laughed softly. "I assume that isn't a normal gift for Humans."

"She got it for me while she was on Palaven. I really didn't know what it was. But, it was a Christmas gift and it looked like a dog tag so I just attached it."

Garrus tilted his head curiously at Shepard.

"A what gift? I think  _my_  translator just cursed at me."

"Christmas… it's a holiday to celebrate winter and rebirth and… you know what? Nevermind."

Garrus shrugged his shoulders at that.

"Just say a Human thing. I get it. Like a  _Kahw-rieal_  is a Turian thing. It symbolizes the end of childhood, fulfilling your role and duty as a Turian. It marks your entry into service. Most Turian weapons have a slot for them and most Turians always keep it on their weapon...like so.." he demonstrated by flipping his rifle over once more to show his own  _Kahw-rieal_  in the base of his rifle.

"..It's like… keeping the spirits of your family close...to protect you."

Shepard smiled at that and held up his own kawh-whatever next to Garrus'. He inspected them together and noticed the similar decoration and color; almost like Garrus' face tattoos while the alien markings differed in the center. Garrus watched him curiously, mandibles clicking in thought.

"So, what does it say? What about the designs around the side - they look like yours and your face." Shepard asked finally, looking up at the Turian.

Garrus smiled and held out a talon for the item in question and Shepard dropped the bundle of tags into his palm once again. Garrus pointed at the markings with a claw.

"The 'designs' as you call them are the clan markings. She got this made in Cipritine, it's the capital where I was born."

Shepard smiled at him and nodded at him to continue, obviously interested. Garrus felt strangely proud that Shepard would take such an interest in his people.

"Well, the first line is your name and the second here...these are are your parents names," he pointed to the second line and paused as he tried to sound out the strange phonic spelling.

"Han-Han-naar Heard-master and Wealthy Heard-master?"

Shepard sputtered with laughter.

"Hannah and Rico…Shepard… yeah… ok. I can see translation doesn't work so well."

Garrus chuckled and continued. "This is your birthplace. Seems to be a ship name. SSV Mountain?"

Shepard smiled and nodded. "SSV Fuji… named after a mountain. So, close enough."

Garrus pointed. "This is your birth date..." He noted the date and smirked. "...You're younger than I thought."

"Shut up, ya upstart kid." Shepard muttered with a fake elderly sound to his tone.

"And, this is where your  _lares_  is: Yours just says 'Alliance.' "

"Translator?"

"Oh right.  _Lares_  it's… like your family spirit. Every family has one, some even keep a small altar in their home. It's a word, phrase, a name or image sometimes. Different for every family. Some new bond mates create their own when they create their own family. Older and prominent families have very famous  _lares_  that are adopted by others in their service."

"Ha. Alliance is our family's spirit all right. I guess Maggie put a lot of thought into this."

He paused for a moment and looked up at Garrus. "What's your family's  _laawres_?" Shepard tried to pronounce the unfamiliar word.

Garrus' mandibles pulled tight into his face and Shepard recognized the defensive gesture. He immediately tried to back-peddle out of the question.

"Look… sorry. I didn't mean to pry. If I overstepped…"

"Strength through duty." Garrus cut him off, the words semi-bitter in his mouth. He dropped his eyes and almost looked ashamed.

Shepard blinked at the Turian. For the first time, the impact of his leaving C-Sec to join him on the Normandy really struck him. Shepard sighed and looked at the hurt in his friend, placing a reassuring hand on his armored shoulder, hoping it would help.

He let the silence hang for a moment before nudging the Turian to wrestle him out of his dark thoughts.

"So, what about the other side?"

"Uh. Right…." Garrus blinked a few times to settle himself then spun the tag over.

"...It's generally just a personal message, one that doesn't get seen when mounted." He stared at the text and read aloud.

" _Honor them with life."_

Shepard went completely still. His eyes locked on the piece of metal in the Turian's three taloned hand. Garrus recognized the oddly Turian response to surprise. Predators froze and assessed the threat while prey bolted. He coughed softly into his hand and returned the bundle of tags to Shepard's hand. He made a point to move slowly, not wanting to trigger any aggression from the Human. They both seemed to understand that the conversation had taken them to dark places. But, there was a strange comfort in the mutual sadness and a mutual understanding to go no further.

"Well, it's getting late…" Garrus began as he started packing up the rifle and cleaning supplies. The weapons were reassembled long ago though he didn't fully remember completing the task.

"Yeah…" Shepard muttered, obviously distracted, thumbing the piece of metal. Garrus started to head for the elevator with his rifle and cleaning kit in tow.

"Hey, Garrus?"

"Yeah, Shepard?"

"You think you can get one of those plate things for my rifle? To mount it like yours?"

Garrus smiled. "Absolutely. I'll rig it myself."

"Thanks, Garrus."

"Goodnight, Shepard."


	8. Chapter 5: Luna

Garrus had never been particularly fond of approaching a CO, but serving on the Normandy under Commander Shepard was not exactly what most Turians would call "typical."

Since joining up with the first Human Spectre, there had been a completely a-typical friendship – born of good-natured ego bruising and the Commander's unceasing commitment to the crew. When added to their uncanny symmetry in combat, trust and friendship were a natural progression. Garrus had never had a friendship that felt so comfortable. In truth, he hadn't had many friends at all, which made the camaraderie with Shepard all the more unique.

So, he experienced only the mildest hesitation to bring the datapad of weapon modifications up to Shepard's personal quarters. He only half-expected the Commander to be there, since he'd been spending so much time with the Asari doctor lately.

The door whisked open at his approach and Garrus immediately heard the Commander's laughter floating through the room. The sound caused him to hesitate at the door. The Turian looked up from his datapad to find Shepard seated in front of his terminal on a vidcall with another human. Shepard glanced at Garrus and held up a hand off-screen, clearly indicating for Garrus to wait. So he did, standing at an awkward military at-ease as the doors closed behind him.

"…and then..." continued a warm and lively feminine voice from the terminal; "...he was wearing the goddamn mustache on his face. Just standing there grinning at the old bastard wearing his own bloody face fuzz!" The voice collapsed into breathless laughter and the Commander joined with his own deep chortles. There was a moment of shared mirth with undeniable closeness and curiosity prompted Garrus to lean forward slightly and look at the screen.

Garrus noticed the vidcall screen filled with a dark but smiling human female. The detective in him immediately noted the details: medium height, slender build, dark hair, almond shaped red-brown eyes, tanned skin, sergeant's insignia on a... _gray_  uniform? Hadn't seen that before. As he put the details together, she instantly reminded him of Shepard. Their coloring was similar and the set of her eyes mirrored the Commander's.

"Look, Mags. You'll have to tell me how it shakes down later. I got work to do. Do you have everything you need?"

Garrus frowned slightly, displeased that he interrupted what was obviously a personal moment for the Commander.

"Yesssir...Lord Spectre Commander Jo-Jo," said the woman on the screen with a devious and teasing smirk. "I'll have the encryptions you need in a few hours. I'll let you get back to work, then."

Shepard looked back to see Garrus peering at the screen. Garrus noticed his gaze and jerked back to attention; mandibles flaring into a smile.

_Lord Spectre Commander Jo-Jo? hah! That's rich._ Garrus snickered to himself.

"Take care of yourself, Mags. Don't be late." said the Commander, starting to rise from his seat.

"Punctuality is for people with nothing better to do. Smell ya later!" giggled the woman on the screen before it went dark.

There was an awkward pause as Shepard walked towards Garrus. He rolled out his shoulder preparing for the expected teasing from the Turian who kept his loose stance of attention as an even greater snub. It seemed to encapsulate the easy friendship between them. Shepard flashed him a smirk and reached for the offered datapad.

"At ease,  _Officer_   _Vakarian_." he said, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

"Oh! Sorry to interrupt,  _Lord Spectre Commander_ …you requested data on possible weapons modifications?"

Shepard shook his head with a smile. Accepting his fate, he began to scan the datapad. He kept walking towards the door as he read, Garrus falling into step behind him.

"So…. Was that your sister?" Garrus asked.

"Yup" Shepard responded without looking up.

"I expect you'll be taking some shore-leave after we hit Luna - to visit?"

"Nyope."

Garrus blinked at that. "I thought you two got along."

"We do - but she's on Eden Prime."

"Eden Prime?" echoed the Turian, a twinge of uneasiness in his sub-vocal rumblings. "The attack…was she..."

Shepard shook his head, still evaluating the data pad in front of him, his steps taking him towards Kaidan.

"No no. Her team was sent after the attack. 'The Marines blow it up and the Engineers fix it up' she says."

"Ah. I thought your family was all about the Alliance?"

"Maggie does her own thing."

"You do your own thing, too. You're a Spectre." Garrus pointed out lightly.

Shepard studied the Turian. "Heh...I suppose I do. Hey, Kaidan - look lively." This last part was directed at the Lieutenant.

Kaidan wiped his brow with his wrist, turning to face the approaching pair.

"Anything you need, Commander?"

Shepard nodded and tossed the datapad in front of the Lieutenant pointing to a particularly robust pistol mod.

" _This_ , I must have for my Razer. It'll make me look like Dirty Harry."

Kaidan chuckled appreciatively. "Yeah. I think we can get that for you."

"What? You want to get your pistol dirty?" Garrus asked, looking back and forth between the humans obviously confused.

Shepard and Kaidan laughed at Garrus, who crossed his arms and leaned back on his heel, obviously not amused.

"Dirty Harry..." Alenko explained patiently, "...he's an old cop from the classic vids."

Shepard nodded agreement. "You'd like him." he added.

"Why would I like him if he's dirty?" Garrus asked, obviously taken aback.

Shepard rolled his eyes. "You just will. Kaidan, do you have a copy?"

"Ah, I used to. But, I'll try and track one down. Anything else, Commander?"

Shepard gave Garrus a pat on the shoulder. "Whatever the overgrown buzzard here recommends."

Garrus' armored chest puffed out at the gesture of confidence in his abilities and he turned to watch the Commander head eagerly towards med-bay. He traded a look with Kaidan and they both smiled knowingly, watching the Commander through the windows before he disappeared into Liara's quarters.

"So, about these other mods…" Garrus rumbled.

***

After destroying the exterior turrets on the rogue lunar training base, Shepard, Garrus, and Tali swung out of the Mako and bounced along in Luna's weak gravity towards the bunker entrance. Much to their surprise, Shepard was actually checking his omni-tool as he positioned himself defensively against the wall. Garrus took position on the opposite wall and Tali waited patiently by Shepard. Minutes went by. Garrus tapped his talons on his rifle impatiently.

Eventually, Shepard's omni-tool pinged brightly and Shepard turned to his wrist.

"Late as usual" Shepard muttered. Garrus and Tali shared a look.

With a few awkward keystrokes on the device, Shepard linked the audio into their comms.

"Commander Shepard here." He answered stoically.

"Hey, Spectre-Man. We doin' this?" a happy computer modulated female voice intoned over their Comm link.

"Are you scrambled?" the Commander responded seriously.

"Does a Hanar have tentacles?"

"Fine fine. Tali, Garrus - We got a virtual ride-along for this one. This is -" He hesitated.

"Call me Ishmael!" boomed the computer voice in their ears. Garrus swore computer modulated laughter was just plain creepy.

"Can we just focus…. wait...really? Ishmael?"

"Oracle?"

"Right - Like you could pull off Barbara Gordon," came the Commander's sarcastic tone.

"Absolutely I could." The voice sounded affronted.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Commander..." Garrus muttered. "...But, is that a  _civilian_?"

Garrus did his best to catch the Commander's eyes through the covering of his helmet. He had a sneaking suspicion whose voice was suddenly buzzing in their helmets. Shepard shifted uncomfortably away from Garrus' accusing gaze.

"Not exactly… _Barbara_ can get into serious trouble for helping us. I'm asking you both for your silence on this one. But, she's got the extra intel on this and I'd rather have the extra help. I completed the training at this facility when the VI was friendly and it was no easy task."

Garrus nodded. "Understood, Commander."

"Shepard, I didn't think we were facing anything  _that_  dangerous," Tali murmured uncomfortably.

The computer modulated voice known as "Barbara" chimed-in.

"This facility was designed to train N-School candidates in close quarters combat. It can modulate gravity, atmosphere, environment, and even can do bad-ass laser light show to Pink Floyd."

Garrus and Tali both looked pointedly at Shepard to elaborate and he shook his head.

" _Barbara…_ " he growled, there was a warning to his tone.

"Oh right. So, I don't know which knucklehead fucked with the VI system, but you're looking at between 40-60 advanced combat drones with rockets, assault drones with shield overload capabilities, and heavy turrets with kinetic barriers. There are three bunkers with three different VI conduits you'll need to take offline." There was an unmistakable hint of pride in the computerized voice.

"Spirits…" hissed Garrus.

Shepard continued, all business. "Anything else we should know about?"

"I've managed to override the door controls now."

Right on cue the door opened for them and Shepard drew his assault rifle, leaning out of cover just enough to peer down the hallway. The voice paused, with unmistakable concern.

"All the safety protocols on the rockets have been overridden. John, please be careful."

"Noted. Moving in now."

***

Shepard had struggled with the decision about whether or not to patch in Maggie, or rather  _Barbara_ , for this particular mission. He knew her inside understanding of the operations of the base would be invaluable, but he also knew the risk to her career by leaking proprietary information from a military contractor. After three different bunkers of death-spraying drones, he wondered how he even hesitated in the first place.

"Rocket target lock!" her computer modulated voice called. Shepard immediately rolled and felt the heat of the rocket trail through his armor as it ripped the air less than a foot away. Garrus popped out of cover and put a round through the offending drone while Tali's hacked drone interposed itself between them. It was a challenge to pick out targets through the gas hanging thick in the corridors, but Shepard's deadly marksmanship released small bursts of fire with ruthless efficiency. In concert with Garrus' high impact shots, not a single bullet missed.

A few more minutes of cat and mouse in the gas destroyed the final drone. Shepard pulled out his shotgun to hammer down the last kinetic barriers and blew a satisfying hole in the last VI Conduit.

"VI signal is no longer active." Tali reported with nod of her helmet.

Maggie apparently changed the modulated tone to her computer voice down a few octaves before she pronounced in a long over-dramatic announcer voice, "Kaaaay-Ooooh"

Shepard chuckled at her antics as he rummaged around through boxes, looking for anything worth taking while they were there. And, as per Maggie's request, he copied all the data he could find. Garrus and Tali stepped to the side, discussing some techno-babble about the VI behavior. Shepard had to check that his translator was operational since the techie conversation currently taking place sounded like Greek to him.

"Barbara" was uncharacteristically quiet after she reviewed the final sputtering output of the crippled VI.

Eventually, they climbed their way out of the bunker and bobbed along back to the Mako.

"Are you guys in a rush?" asked Maggie over the comms.

"Maybe… why?" came Shepard's cautious reply.

"Just something I thought you'd like to see. Sending coordinates now."

"What exactly is this "something"?" Garrus asked skeptically.

Maggie's computer-modulated voice very clearly giggled.

_Computers should never giggle._ Garrus thought with a shudder.

"You'll see." She chimed. "Good hunting out there! Over and out."

Shepard paused and peered up at the Earth hanging in the stars above the horizon of Luna's surface, laughing softly as he read the message that popped up on his omni-tool.

"What is it?" Tali asked curiously as she climbed the steps into the Mako.

"Have you ever heard of a human named Neil Armstrong?"

"Who?" Garrus and Tali asked in unison.

"You'll see." Shepard echoed. "Tali, move over I'm driving. Consider this a history lesson."

"You'll see. Good hunting out there! Over and out."

***

From Eden Prime, the youngest Shepard hunched over her private terminal in the barracks. Maggie forced her voice to be positive, upbeat, and playful as she signed off, disconnecting the pirated extra-net connection to her brother's omni-tool. She pulled off the headset, shook out her hair, and frowned at the data they'd lifted from the Luna base.

That final message still gave her the chills.

She'd been glancing over the code as she followed her brother's mission remotely, using his omni-tool to hack into the various systems and keep a firewall operational against the VI's electronic incursions. Then, Shepard had forwarded her the data files he stole.

_Rogue VI my ass._  Maggie growled to herself as she looked over the data.  _I'd stake credits that Cerberus has their bloody claws in this._

She was so engrossed in the illicit information that she didn't even notice the two heavily armed Military Police Officers who appeared in her doorway.

"Staff Sergeant Shepard?" The MP prompted from the doorway.

Maggie looked over her shoulder and frowned.

"That didn't take long."

***

Shepard, as usual, visited Garrus last on his rounds. They were two days out from Noveria, according to Joker.

"Commander," Garrus greeted him from his back as he slid out from under the Mako. "How are you?"

"You message your family yet?" Shepard demanded with a smile, leaning against the Mako, arms crossed over his chest and looking down at the Turian on his back.

Garrus glared at him with a subtle growl and then started to slide underneath the Mako once more. Shepard rolled his eyes and stepped his boot on the hovering creeper, preventing Garrus from disappearing into his work.

"Fine… I'll drop it." Shepard grumped. "But, why did you want to be a C-Sec officer in the first place?"

Garrus sighed and pushed the creeper away from the Mako, wiping his talons on a nearby rag as he sat up. "That's a good question...There were several reasons I guess."

Shepard sat on the floor next to the Turian, leaning back against the tires of the Mako. "Like what?" he asked.

"Probably the same as most officers." Garrus shrugged his armored shoulders, mimicking the human gesture. "I wanted to fight injustice; I wanted to help people." he paused and looked down at his talons. "I guess my father had something to do with it too. He was C-Sec; one of the best…"

Shepard was surprised to learn that Garrus' father was a C-Sec legend and that Garrus himself had been targeted for Spectre training. The tension between father and son reminded him a lot of his own family; the way his sister and his mother butted heads about the Alliance.

_Different amino-acids, different species, different planets, same problems._ Shepard thought to himself with a smile.

"Just because you can break the rules doesn't mean you should." Shepard chided, laughing to himself inwardly at how he'd said the same thing to his sister at his graduation years ago. "I don't need to stoop to Saren's level to stop him. And, neither do you Garrus." he added.

"I see what you mean...but… I'll think about it." Garrus muttered.

Shepard frowned at the dark expression on the Turian's plates. "Hey - why don't we set up the bags? I could use the exercise."

"Yeah - sure. Going a little stir crazy inside a ship all day."

"Are you kidding? I grew up on ships following my mother's postings. Normandy feels just like home. Something as big as the Citadel for too long makes me twitchy."

They moved together in the familiar pattern to set up the punching bags and padded mats that composed the Normandy's exercise equipment. The set-up was flimsy at best, the heavy bag hanging from a series of poles locked into place by unstable folding joints jury-rigged for the task. It was pretty much impossible to use the set-up solo for risk of the swinging bag taking the entire rickety structure apart.

Garrus stepped behind the bag first, offering Shepard the first go, but with a valiant and exaggerated sweep of his arm, Shepard yielded the honor to the Turian. They both shared a laugh as Shepard rolled out his shoulder.

Garrus warmed up with some light jabs - his larger frame and armor making his strikes relatively heavy and slow. He began to circle the bag slowly, delivering blows and Shepard moved with him.

"About your dad…" Shepard began as they circled, "...Don't let his disappointment get to you. You're family first, even if leaving C-Sec isn't what he wanted for you - eventually he'll trust what you want for yourself."

"I'm not sure it's that simple, Shepard. He's pretty stubborn. Once he's got something in his sights, he doesn't let it go."

Shepard peered around the bag with a smirk. "That could describe another Turian I know."

Garrus huffed out a breath and punched the bag with extra force, sending Shepard reeling back a pace, laughing.

"But, he's my father. It's family honor at stake if I go against his wishes. I was never a very good Turian."

The Commander shrugged. "I was always the good soldier in my family. It was my sister who caused the trouble. We are Alliance marines through and through. About a month into basic training, she left the outfit. When my mom found out, it was the fight heard 'round the galaxy."

"That sounds like fights I've had with my father. They get ugly." With a nod, Garrus stepped back and, without missing a beat, Shepard picked up the rhythm with his own rapid fire punches. Garrus stepped behind, absorbing the momentum of the bag.

"Ugly is an understatement. The three of us didn't speak for nearly a year after that. My sister and I had always been close...but, that was hard. She simply can't fall in line. 'The regs are there to hold you back' she says..."

"Sounds like my kinda girl." Garrus put in, mandibles unconsciously flaring into a smile.

Shepard's punches stopped and he peered at Garrus suspiciously around the side of the bag. One eyebrow raised.

Garrus fumbled. "Ah.. the regs thing….'cause she's your sister...well  _and_  a human. You know what. Just forget I said anything."

"Just keep digging, Vakarian." Shepard said with a laugh as he went back to punching. "Maybe one day you'll get to China."

"Get to what?" He peered at Shepard around the bag, his head tilted in confusion, a strangely bird-like movement. Shepard took advantage of Garrus' distraction to give the bag a hearty kick. The back-swing would have knocked Garrus off his feet, but the Turian was too fast. He side-stepped and instead the bag glanced off his hip. Garrus recovered himself and glared at the Commander.

This prompted another laugh from Shepard and he stepped back, shaking out his wrists.

"Nevermind, Garrus. It's a human expression." He twitched his head towards the bag, offering Garrus another go, and they switched smoothly each instinctively accommodating the other's movements.

Garrus worked the bag in playful competition with Shepard as they circled again, the heat of the exercise beginning to set into his muscles. They cycled several times until they were both panting heavily.

"So, how'd did things work out? Between your mother and your sister I mean." Garrus asked as they rested.

"Well, they reached a kind of compromise. Maggie left for Earth and ended up working for a military contractor on Luna."

"Uh...huh..." Garrus gave the Commander a knowing glance and Shepard ducked his head with a smile.

"She's good at what she does." Shepard continued evasively as he resumed his exercise. "The project was joint civilian contractors and Engineering Corps. The Corps were impressed by her work and made her an offer."

"And, that made everything ok?"

"Not entirely. Some other stuff happened that brought us back together. Even so, it's still a bit tense between them. But, Maggie is back in the fold, albeit non-combat roles, which is not exactly what mom wanted. I think she's disappointed that Maggie is no Marine or Navy officer. But, Maggie is doing what she loves. So, it's all worked out."

"And, I'm sure you had nothing to do with that?"

"Hey - whatever works right? If I can get the two of them to get along, Turians and Krogans are no trouble at all."

The both laughed then paused to glance over at Wrex, on the other side of the cargo hold. The Krogan seemed to notice their gaze and glared at them.

Shepard gave him hearty nod. "Wrex," he called in greeting.

"Shepard," the Krogan replied curtly and went back to cleaning his shotgun.

"See?" Shepard gloated, turning back to Garrus. "I'm making progress already."


	9. Chapter 6: Noveria

Chapter 6 : Noveria

 

The mission had not gone as intended. 

 It took the combined efforts of Garrus and Shepard to drag Liara through that last onslaught of Rachni and into the elevator before the hot labs became much, much, hotter. The two of them were injured in the process.

 “Three days on this dirty corporate rock is three days too long” Shepard growled as he leaned against Garrus. Together, they stumbled out of the Mako onto the solid grating of the Normandy cargo bay. They both hissed in pain; spatters of blue and red blood mixing underneath them. The team was waiting for them uneasily in the cargo bay while Dr. Chakwas waited on standby in the med-bay.

 Ashley was quick as a flash to duck under the Commander’s arm, gently taking his weight onto her shoulders and together they moved slowly towards the elevator. Tali and Kaidan both moved to Garrus who waved them off, his voice more gravelly than usual.

“Just a scratch - see to Shepard.”

 Behind them, remaining inside the Mako, Liara hugged her knees to her chest, tears silently streaming down her face.

 A few minutes later, Doctor Chakwas had forcefully ejected Ashley from the Med-bay and tinted the windows from prying eyes. Garrus and Shepard sat facing each other on the edges of two of the hospital-style beds. Their heads were bowed like two kids in detention. They suffered Dr. Chakwas’ scolding with ill humor. Apparently, Rachni venom is terribly dangerous...assuming you survive the Rachni.

 Garrus had taken a slash across his abdomen. It cut through his armor and probably would have disemboweled a human, but his plates soaked most of the damage. The blue blood had stopped flowing and, in time, his plates would knit themselves back together. He’d add another scar to the tally. His armor was collected in a tumble at the foot of the bed and he sat holding a medi-gel compress across his middle. Overall, he seemed none-the-worse for wear.

Shepard, on the other hand, was turning some horrid shade of pale green as Dr. Chakwas carefully cut away the armor around the eight inch-long Rachni claw sticking gruesomely out of his mid-thigh. The rest of his armor had been removed and the blood trickled from the wound, down his leg, puddling on the floor.

“Shepard…” Dr. Chakwas spoke in a soft voice. “I really need you to lie back now.”

“Don’t knock me out,” he commanded with steel in his voice. His breathing was labored, but he hadn’t moved.

“We’ll need to operate, it’s still injecting venom into your bloodstream,” the doctor countered, placing a hand on his shoulder to gently push him back. Shepard resisted, his only response was a low growl in the back of his throat. He stubbornly stayed upright.

“Commander…I really must...” Dr. Chakwas began - but didn’t finish. Before she had completed her sentence, Shepard’s gloved hand had wrapped around the lowest part of the protruding claw and, without a sound, he wrenched it from his flesh, tossing the severed claw with casual disregard clattering onto the Doctor’s tray.

Garrus and Dr. Chakwas stared at him in mute astonishment. Shepard raised his eyes, looking at Garrus with a lopsided smile, despite his shuddering breaths.

“Puny...bug,” he jested.

Garrus met his smile with a fierce Turian version of his own, mandibles flaring and teeth bared, nodding in silent approval.

Shepard looked back to the Doctor, finally shifting his legs to stretch out on the bed. Slowly, he laid back on the pillow. Chakwas set busily to cutting away the bloody remnants of his under-armor heavy weave.

“No sedatives please, Doctor.” He coughed slightly. “Just a local and patch me up.”

Doctor Chakwas glowered at him from her work over his leg and she had a masterful glower. “I really must protest. We don’t know the long-term effects of the venom and the ext…”

“I have complete faith in your abilities, Doctor Chakwas.” He interrupted her and offered her a pained smile. The Doctor seemed to wilt under his charms and resumed her work. There was always something special about working on soldiers; and Shepard was exactly it...as infuriating as he might be.

“Joker?” Shepard called out.

“Yeah, boss?” the pilot’s voice crackled from unseen sources in the room.

  
“Get us off of this rock. Takes us to the Citadel.” His voice was level without a trace of the pain he must obviously be experiencing.

 

“Alright, shore leave!” hooted Joker. “Course plotted, 6 days out Commander”

  
“Inform the crew - debrief in…” he glanced at Chakwas, she held up four fingers. “Three hours.” She narrowed her eyes at him and Shepard shrugged as if it couldn’t be helped.

  
Just then, the med-bay doors opened and Tali entered. The Quarian was half-guiding and half-carrying a dazed and sniffling Liara back to her quarters. Chakwas, Shepard, and Garrus all stared in silence as they watched the pair cross the length of the med-bay and disappear behind the doors on the opposite side.

 

“Was she bleeding?” Garrus asked, confused.

“Belay that, Joker. Debrief in five hours.” Shepard amended.

Chakwas, despite everything, managed to look smug as she went back to work.

 ************

 Ashley stormed out the elevator into the cargo bay, fuming. The Commander was injured. It was bad enough that he seemed far more interested in the Asari doctor than her own charms. Even worse, that he was involving aliens in the decisions and including them on missions. But, now he was injured, threatening the entire operation because of some stupid blue space bitch who couldn’t do anything more than cry. By the time she reached the cargo hold, her body was shaking with rage, jealousy, fear, and irrational fury. The rest of the crew looked up expectantly as she approached, obviously expecting a report. She pushed past all of them angrily. Kaidan gently grabbed her arm.

“The Commander?” he asked softly.

Ashley wrenched her arm away with a curse, but stopped with her back towards the rest of the team.

“Leg wound - he’ll be fine after the venom is purged,” she reported in a growl.

 “Oh, thank the goddess!” came a sigh and all eyes turned to Liara who had emerged from the Mako. She was spattered in gore and looked haggard while leaning heavily against the Mako. Whether from exhaustion or relief, it was hard to say. Her tear streaked cheeks and slumping posture gave her a strange air of vulnerability.

So, it took everyone by complete surprise when Ashley flew at her, screaming.

“You stupid fucking blue bitch!”

Before Tali, Kaidan, or even Wrex knew what was happening, Ashley leveled a full-strength punch at the Asari’s jaw which connected with a sickening thud; knocking Liara down to the ground beside the Mako.

“It’s your fault! You goddamn xeno!” Ashley raged.

Liara caught herself on her hands and was immediately flattened by Ashley’s weight on top of her, a human knee digging painfully into her spine.

Liara’s fists wreathed with biotic glow before an unseen force wrenched the Gunnery Chief sideways, sending her skipping on her backside and careening into the opposite wall of the cargo bay with a crunch. Liara used the Mako to pull herself upright, dazed, wiping pale blue blood from the corner of her mouth.

Ashley scrambled to her feet and started to rush the Asari again before Kaidan interjected himself, grabbing Ashley from behind in a bear hug and pinning her arms to her side. His own biotics flaring to hold the struggling woman at bay.

“Stop it, Ashley! This isn’t helping.” Kaidan shouted at her as he tried to hold her back.

Wrex had thrown his head back laughing. “Ah! She’s got spirit - let her go, human. It’s good sport.”

“I just froze… I didn’t mean.. I’m so sorry...” Liara murmured, more tears slipping down her cheeks.

“Oh not yet, you’re not!” Ashley hissed, struggling against the Lieutenant's biotic hold. “You nearly got the Commander killed. I will fucking  _make_ you sorry.”

“Tali! Get her out of here!” Kaidan ordered, tightening his grip on Ashley. Tali nodded and quickly ran to Liara’s side, guiding her gently and speedily towards the elevator.

“Stand DOWN, Williams.” Kaidan bellowed. Ashley’s military training trumped her rage and she ceased her struggling. Kaidan winced against his rapidly brewing migraine and released the biotic field around the Gunnery Chief. Ashley, once again free to move, pushed Kaidan away and stomped back to her station.

“Spoil sport.” Wrex grumbled.

Kaidan’s eyes never left Ashley. “Take a walk, Wrex.”

Wrex growled and stood to his full height, stepping forward to confront this measly human.

“You don’t order me ar..” Wrex started to snarl.

“Please…” Kaidan interrupted, turning to look at the Krogan. Then repeated softer, rubbing his temples.“Please, Wrex. We need a moment.”

Wrex tossed his head with a huff. “Yeah… it’s chow time anyway.” The big Krogan lumbered towards the elevator, glancing over his shoulder at the Human pair. As he rounded the corner, he caught a glimpse of Ashley throwing herself into Kaidan’s arms.

“Humans…” he scoffed to himself.

***********************

Back in the Med-bay, Tali carefully, with as much neutrality as possible, retold the events that taken place in the cargo hold. Shepard listened with a stoic mask as Chakwas finished with her bandages on the his leg and excused herself to handle the cleaning up. The Doctor paused only briefly to check on Garrus’ “scratch” which required some additional bandaging.

“Don’t pick at it,” she chided gently to the Turian who raised his talons in mock submission to the doctor.

All four of them stared at the red interface hovering above Liara’s door. She had locked herself in.

“We all were linked in and following your progress.” continued Tali, her helmeted gaze didn’t look away from the door. “It really wasn’t her fault, freezing up like that...at least… I think it could have happened to anyone down there.”

Garrus and Shepard glanced at one another, both obviously concerned. The silent conversation between them took a brief moment.

“Tali…” Shepard began gently. “I appreciate the team’s concern over our safety - but from now on, I’d like it if you didn’t follow our missions remotely, unless specifically asked.” He glanced again at Garrus who nodded approvingly.

“Shepard… I..” Tali hesitated and her helmet lowered to look at her hands fussing nervously in her lap. “I’m sorry, Shepard. I understand.” Shepard reached over and gave her gloved three fingered hands a reassuring squeeze.

Doctor Chakwas carefully slipped her arm around the young Quarian’s shoulder and led her out of the Med-bay. Garrus and Shepard sat in contemplative silence.

Shepard heaved a frustrated sigh. “If you have any ingenious insights about how to handle this, Garrus, I’m open to suggestions.”

“No way, Shepard. This is a Human thing. Not covered in the C-Sec manual.”

Shepard glanced again at the door. “I guess I should go talk to her.”

Garrus rolled his eyes and inclined his head in a manner that said “obviously” before carefully sliding off the bed and moving to the Commander’s side; helping him take the few hobbling steps to the door.

Garrus left Shepard there and returned to gather his armor, specifically not listening to the muted conversation happening through the locked door behind him. He started to leave when he heard the Commander’s exacerbated groan.

"Oh goddamnit…”

Garrus glanced subtly over his shoulder. He saw Shepard looking at his omni-tool - but the door interface now shown a welcoming green.

Shepard punched a button on his wrist and sighed when he answered.

“Hello, Maggie. This is really not a good time.”

“No shit this isn’t a good time!” her angry voice shot back from his omni-tool. “There’s reports all over  about a mysterious lab explosion on Noveria involving some kind of spectre of the Human variety.”

“How the hell did reports get out that fast?”

“I have my ways…”

“Don’t worry about me, Mags. I’m ok, I promise.” He reassured her with amazing patience considering the situation. “Look, I really can’t talk right now…” he paused and looked up at Garrus a mischievous gleam in his eye.“But, the second-in-command of the ground team can fill you in…”

Garrus shook his head, adamantly. “Oh no, Shepard. Absolutely not! I’m not gonna….” Shepard disregarded him and with a wave of his omni-tool, the image of Staff Sergeant Margaret Shepard appeared on Garrus’ wrist.

Garrus glowered at Shepard, who offered him a silent pleading look. Garrus continued to glare.

“You owe me,” the Turian muttered. Shepard inclined his head in thanks to Garrus. He entered Liara’s quarters, which immediately returned to the locked - red interface again behind him.

Garrus took a deep breath and looked at his omni-tool awkwardly.

“Uhm. Garrus Vakarian here.”

There was silence.

“Hello?” Garrus repeated uncertainly.

“Keep talking...” murmured the young woman on his wrist, dreamily.

“Yes Ma’am...” he slipped into his C-Sec “dealing-with-civilians” tone.

“...I’m happy to report your brother is safe and sound. Only a minor leg injury and he received immediate medical attention. He’ll make a full recovery and the mission was a success.”

"Wow…. you could read me the goddamn phonebook any day.” The girl sighed happily.

“Excuse me?”

“Ah! Ahem… ugh… sorry. Has anyone ever told you that you have a very...distracting voice?”

“No.”

“Well, you do! Anyway, It’s nice to finally talk with you, Officer Vakarian. You really need to message your sister.”

“Solana? How’s she doing?” Garrus asked, genuinely pleased, all formality dropping from his tone.

“She’s got a boyfriend and he’s got piss under his plates.” Maggie reported flatly in Turian, anger and defensive posturing poorly formed around her sub-vocal communication in the language.

Garrus sighed and scooped up his armor with his other hand as he made his way back to his bunk. This was going to be a long conversation.

*******************

After a tense debrief and an even worse romantic confrontation afterwards, Shepard  was on edge. The entire ship echoed her captain and a thick air of tension hovered about the Normandy as she headed towards shore leave on the Citadel.  It may have taken a couple of days, but eventually  her crew returned to a mostly normal routine. Kaidan had become the unofficial ambassador to Ashley, who rarely left her weapons bench and Shepard took on the same role for Liara who was almost never seen outside of her quarters.

So, when Shepard enlisted Tali’s help in repairing the claw-shaped hole in his armor’s mid-thigh - he was surprised to find himself, Garrus, Kaidan, Wrex, and Tali sitting in a semicircle around his armor and the armor repair kit on the floor of engineering. This arrangement resulted in the most amusing complaints from Engineer Adams and his team, who eventually joined the armor repair and cleaning challenge.

After Shepard’s armor was repaired, the team began to work on Garrus’ armor and eventually Kaidan added his to the mix. Wrex curiously watched the proceedings, since Krogan had their own unique armor traditions. The good natured chatter was a welcome relief from the tension brewing in other parts of the ship and Shepard was pleased to find his Alliance crew comfortably working with the other species on-board. Shepard was lost in his thoughts, polishing a gauntlet until it gleamed, when Garrus sitting on his right nudged him.

“Hmm?” he looked up at his friend and gradually his attention focused back to the conversation.

“... it all comes down to position and cover.” Kaidan was saying energetically, gesturing with a soiled cleaning cloth, a piece of his blue Alliance armor laying across his lap. “And, I’ve never seen anyone move through cover like Shepard. Hands down.”

“He moves like a Krogan.” Wrex confirmed with a nod.

“He would still need good combat drone could.” Tali added without looking up from her final patches on Shepard’s leg component.

“No combat drone can keep up with him,” Kaidan said enthusiastically. “I’ve watched this guy kick off a wall, roll over cargo and land in perfect firing stance behind cover while keeping a six-inch grouping to his bursts. It’s unreal.” 

Shepard offered an uncomfortable laugh. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Kaidan. But, I won’t be doing any of that until I’m back to full-speed.” To emphasize the point, he stretched his leg a few times.

“Did they teach you that at N-School?” Kaidan asked, returning back to his armor.

Shepard shrugged. “How to use cover? Some. A lot of those instincts came from ship running growing up.”

Tali looked up, her helmeted voice was horrified. “You sold stolen ships?!”

Shepard laughed and shook his head. “No no.. bad choice of words. But, that’s what we called it. There’s not much to do for a couple of kids stuck on Alliance ships. We used to ‘run the ship’ - race from one end to the other through maintenance shafts and cargo holds. Using whatever we could to swing or climb on along the way. Moving quickly through small spaces - it was a game for us.” 

“Children play games like that in the Flotilla too!” Tali seemed to beam through her helmet.

“So, wait...Tali you’re not a kid?” Garrus rumbled playfully. Tali picked up a dirty rag nearby and threw it at Garrus, hitting him squarely in the face. The rag hung limply from his visor and the whole group shared a laugh.

“So, it’s like parkour or free-running back on Earth?” Engineer Adams asked, excited to be contributing to the conversation. 

“Uh. Sure. I have no idea what that is but yeah - why not.” Shepard responded, non-committal. “Maggie… my sister, she would set up holos of pirates for me to shoot at. It turns out it’s also good training for close quarters firefights.”

“Huh.” Kaiden intoned thoughtfully. “So, what do you do when there isn’t cover?”

Garrus and Shepard glanced at each other - both thinking back to the cover-less run through Rachni a few days before.

“Fight somewhere else,” he intoned somberly. This prompted a round of laughter from the team and Shepard looked down at his armor in his lap.

He hadn’t been joking but the warmth caused by their laughter stuck with him all the way back to his cabin.

_A family you will build…_ The Consort’s words echoed in his mind and Shepard smiled to himself. ... _I’ve built a damn fine family._

Shepard had just finished limping his way around the mess hall, putting his repaired armor into his locker when Garrus appeared by his side.

“Hey, Commander. How’s the leg?”

“Still attached.” Shepard responded with a smile. “How’s your ‘scratch’?”

“What scratch?” Garrus replied with a grin before asking. “Shepard, I hate to ask, but there isn’t much privacy in the crew quarters. Could I use your terminal?”

Shepard laughed. “You need to call your girlfriend?”

“Ah, no.” Garrus shifted uncomfortably. “Just a call home.”

“Yeah. Of course, Garrus.” The Turian followed Shepard back to his quarters as the Commander set-up his terminal for the call.

“I never did thank you for running interference with Maggie for me.” Shepard continued.

 “It was no trouble, Commander.”

Shepard laughed. “Ha. Maggie and trouble go together like Tali and her suit. But, really, thank you. I was in no mood to deal with her.”

Garrus chuckled quietly to himself. “Yeah. Sure, whatever I can do to help.”

Shepard stepped away from the terminal and headed for the door. “Take your time, I’m going to check on Liara for a bit.”

Garrus nodded and sat down at the terminal. Shepard paused just outside the door, smiling to himself when he heard:

“Hey mom…. yeah, it’s really me….. no, everything's fine. Just checking in… Is Solana around?”

_Damn…_ Shepard thought to himself. _One chat with Maggie worked better than months of prodding. I wonder if I could unleash her on Ashley...or the Council…_


	10. Chapter 7: Cerberus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> Drksyders here! So, for those who haven't read it already - there's a stand-alone short romance/erotica scene from this fanfic. It's called "Biotics Do It Better" and it was posted earlier. It takes place between Chapter 6: Noveria and Chapter 7: Cerberus. Be forewarned sexual content lies ahead. As always, your comments, favorites, follows, and messages are appreciated! Hope you all enjoy!

**Chapter 7: Cerberus**

The new rule aboard the Normandy was that no one talked about Feros. Not that there needed to be a rule. No one  _wanted_  to talk about what happened on Feros.

The entire ship seemed to mimic the disquiet and unease that the mission had triggered in her Commander. Despite spending most of his time underneath the Mako, Garrus could nearly taste the hushed and anxious tension in the air. Even the unflappable Wrex seemed disturbed by the recent mission, spending more time sleeping than usual. The silver lining to this cloud was that it had thoroughly overshadowed any previous tension and the skirmish between Liara and Ashley was entirely forgotten.

Shepard made it his personal mission to find every Exogeni Thorian related piece of research and destroy it "with extreme prejudice." Information on Feros hinted at a rogue organization called Cerberus which circled back to an earlier favor for Admiral Kahoku regarding a missing squad of Marines. Somehow, it was all connected and Shepard turned to Garrus, calling upon his investigative skills to help put the pieces together.

They spent hours together in Shepard's quarters pouring over stolen data, Alliance files, and extra-net reports for clues. Meanwhile, Shepard led the Normandy around the galaxy, destroying mercs and nuclear probes at every turn. To the Commander's cipher addled-mind, it seemed that there were fewer and fewer lives to save and more and more monsters to destroy.

After discovering the missing Marines were setup in a Thresher Maw trap, Shepard "completely lost his shit" according to Joker. Garrus wasn't entirely sure how bodily functions were related to Shepard's unhinged violence, but the situation was so tense that he didn't bother to ask for clarification.

The Commander's rage radiated throughout the ship, sending most of the crew hastily scurrying away from him like he had scale-itch. Shepard seemed to recognize his own growing darker tendencies. He held the aggression in check, barely. Despite his obvious efforts, Shepard's fury still bubbled beneath his calm exterior. Only Liara seemed to genuinely put him at ease and Garrus could sense the change in his Commander during their chats around the punching bag. Despite his deterioration, Shepard maintained his rounds and his dedication to the crew. That alone would have inspired Garrus' complete confidence in his Commander.

Kaidan and Ashley were the only ones who seemed immune from the dark mood; the two sneaking off alone at nearly every opportunity. Garrus found himself spending more time in the battery and the mess to avoid overhearing...things.

Sometimes, his superior Turian senses were a curse.

The mess was where he found himself, mulling over a bowl of dextro slop, when Kaidan sat down across from him.

"I'm worried about Shepard," the Lieutenant said without precursor.

Garrus studied the Human for a moment then returned to his food.

"Are you now?" he rumbled, feigning disinterest.

"He's losing focus on the mission."

"You think  _he's_  losing focus," Garrus scoffed. His avian eyes moved to Ashley who ate at a nearby table with a few other human crew. Kaidan at least had the decency to blush.

"We've crossed half the galaxy chasing Thorian experiments, Cerberus, mercs and God knows what else. We even investigated that distress call from the medical ship." The Marine persisted.

"That turned out to be Geth…" Garrus reminded him patiently.

"Yeah… I know. But, what about Saren? We got that lead on Virmire and instead we're chasing Wrex's armor and Tali's data."

"Ah, but you weren't there to see the look on that Krogan's face," Garrus mused with a wistful Turian smile.

"That's not the point and you know it!"

Garrus sighed. He really didn't want to be having this conversation. He remained silent and ate the slop that passed for his food.

"Common, Garrus," Kaidan tried again, "I know you've seen it. Ever since that Thresher Maw, he's different. And, I get it. After Akuze and all…"

Garrus glanced up and interrupted the Lieutenant. "I heard some of the other crew talking about Akuze. What is that about?"

"Oh. I thought everyone in the Alliance knew…"

"Do I look like Alliance to you,  _Human_?"

"...Right. Shepard was the only survivor of a Maw attack on Akuze. Lost his whole squad...50 men sent to investigate," Kaidan began solemnly.

Garrus froze and stared blankly at the man. Kaidan wasn't on the ground crew for that drop, so he didn't know about the Thresher Maw attack being a trap or the pieces of evidence he'd put together with Shepard that Cerberus was behind it. As that huge puzzle piece dropped into place, Garrus suddenly understood the Commander's righteous fury.

Garrus had never once questioned Shepard's actions or leadership, despite the recent bizarre change in the mission's direction. But, now he could comprehend the Commander's reasoning. Vengeance. Revenge. Justice.  _That_  Garrus could understand. That was a cause that stirred his blood and sang to the very marrow of his bones.

_That is a fight that joins brothers by spirit,_ Garrus thought to himself in wonder.  _And, he included me._

He didn't even hear Kaidan tell the rest of the story as his mind churned over this revelation. Garrus forced his focus back into the conversation at hand.

"... you got to talk to him. He listens to you. We can't let Saren get away like th-" The Lieutenant was saying, but Garrus interrupted impatiently.

"I think we just need to step back and let the Commander take care of this."

Kaidan slapped his hands on the table with unnecessary force as he pushed himself up, drawing startled looks from the other crew.

"Fine. Whatever, Garrus. I just don't think he'll still  _be_  the Commander at this rate." The Lieutenant stomped off angrily and Garrus turned a blind eye to the fact that Ashley chased after him.

Garrus took his time finishing his meal, ignoring the stares of the crew. He hated to admit it, but maybe the Human biotic had a point. He considered working on the Mako, but the idea of heading into the cargo bay with Ashley and Kaidan gave him pause. Instead, he headed for the crew quarters and sat with a slump at the terminal. He stared at the out-going vid-call screen as he composed his thoughts and finally made the call.

"Alliance Engineering Corps switchboard, how may I direct your call?" The VI chimed.

"Staff Sergeant Shepard - Eden Prime please."

* * *

Kaidan stepped out of the elevator, feeling his cheeks burn with frustration. He could also feel the biotic tension wreathing around his fists. Kaidan usually kept his distance from his team and crew. He'd learned hard lessons about getting personal with your team at Brain Camp. He knew the dangers of losing control.

_Damn, Shepard. Damn him for changing everything… Damn him for making me care._  Kaidan growled to himself.

He knew it really wasn't Shepard he was mad at, but it was easier to curse the Commander than himself.

Kaidan lowered his head to avoid the gazes of the few straggling crew hanging about the cargo bay. They caught sight of him and headed for the elevator. Some even offered him knowing smiles.

Kaidan ignored them and darted behind the stacks of crates that roughly allowed him privacy. Wedged between the Mako and the storage containers, he found himself in a small, shadowed sanctuary. With an aggravated sigh, he leaned heavily against the bulkhead.

The Lieutenant was greeted by a sharp SNAP as the static discharge in his body reacted to the metal he touched. The Marine winced and slowly released the tight control he was holding on his biotic impulses. The space was illuminated by his blue corona and Kaidan focused to shape the warping gravity into something harmless. With a sigh, the tension left his head along with the stored energy and frustration. He rubbed his temples, trying coax away the pain.

Ashley probably could have been more subtle when she followed Kaidan into the cargo bay; but, Ashley didn't exactly consider herself a subtle kind of lady. Besides, she wasn't ashamed and she could beat the tar out of anyone who dared make a fuss. She found Kaidan in their "bedroom" as she had jokingly named it. Kaidan was bathed in a soft blue light that still made her heart flutter at the sight. He looked at her, a fierce and smoldering look in his dark eyes. Ashley knew that look and started to unbuckle her armor.

"He's not going to help." Kaidan growled, pacing the small space.

Ashley watched him, popping her armor seals and pulling off the pieces of her outer layer.

"Told ya. He's a Turian," she gloated.

Kaidan frowned and stared at her, his eyes roaming over the skin-tight weave revealed by her disarming. He gulped.

"You can't rely on the aliens to look after humanity. We gotta look after our own." She continued, punctuating her statements with additional bits of armor that she removed, revealing more and more of her curves. "...I'm starting to wonder if the xenos are getting to him. He's acting unpredictably - dangerous even - and you know it."

Kaidan was cornered, pinned between her words and the effect her undressing was having on him. He had only enough blood to run one major organ at a time - and two were struggling for supremacy.

"Shepard would never be a danger to us…" he tried to counter her words lamely, his eyes following her body with obvious desire.

Ashley unzipped her under-weave and revealed an expanding delta shape of soft sun-kissed skin. At the sight, Kaidan's mind fumbled as he warred with his libido.

Ashley saw his expression as she wiggled the skin-tight under-weave free. She knew she'd won. She  _liked_ winning. Kaidan was the most adorable, sexy, and well-endowed puppy she could have ever wanted. Yet, as much as she enjoyed her time with the Lieutenant, she still tried to keep her distance.

Ashley studied Kaidan's gentle features, lean body, and dark eyes. Just because he was her consolation prize, didn't stop him from being a damn amazing prize. She crossed the space between them in two quick steps and kissed him fiercely, pinning him back against the nearby crate with gusto.

Kaidan hardly noticed their impact against the crate, though he'd find the bruises later. His lips and hands absorbed his attention. His hands were eagerly exploring Ashley's thighs and lower back, pulling her hips tight against his own. His lips were smothered by hers and Kaidan indulged in the energy buzzing in his mind from her taste. His tongue caressed hers and she pulled away, nipping at his lower lip with a smile while her fingers hungrily loosened the fastenings of his pants.

Kaidan chuckled against her lips, running his hands up her sides, caressing her warm skin with tender strokes. He ignored the slight discomfort of the static charges that sparked between the direct contact of their skin. Biotics tended to build up more electrical impulses in their bodies than typical Humans, resulting in the constant static discharge. It was like living his entire life dragging his feet in wool socks on thick carpet.

"Whoa… Ashley.. no foreplay?" Kaidan sounded almost disappointed, though he was kicking off his boots.

"I don't fuck around…." Ashley panted in a husky voice.

Kaidan's hands followed the curve of her sides along her hips and upwards to her breasts, teasing her nipples with his thumbs before he stroked downward, rolling her body-suit down her hips.

"I think there's some strong evidence to the contrary."

"If you don't stop talking and take me, I just might shoot you."

The sound of her voice made him shiver. Kaidan never thought he'd enjoy being dominated, but with Ashley it just sent him over the edge. With a flick of his wrist and a biotic pull, he ripped her under-weave from her body and Ashley met his assault by shoving him to the ground and shoving his pants down to his thighs in her haste.

Kaidan gasped at her touch and before he had the chance to recover himself she was lowering her hips onto him, rocking slowly downward. Her movements didn't stop until he was buried in her and her weight caused his pants to press painfully into his thighs. With another biotic push, he removed them and Ashley gasped above him from the sensation of his invisible hands against her body. She hooked her toes beneath his bare thighs for better purchase and braced her hands on his shoulders, forcing his back against the cold metal floor and freeing her hips to ride his length.

He closed his eyes, laid back, and let her have her way. Experience told him it was better that way.

She was dripping over him now, shuddering and so close. Kaidan's hands urged her on, pressing into the firm skin of her ass. Kaidan felt her tense, he could feel her trembling in the anticipation of her release and he was determined to make it as mind-blowing as possible for her.

Kaidan rolled her over and pulled up her thighs, driving himself into her with renewed vigor. He at least had the courtesy to roll her over onto her body weave, rather than subject her to the cold floor. He braced himself with one hand beside her head as his other held her thigh, pulling her up and into his every stroke. The pleasure rocketed through her body and Ashley tried to stifle her moans. When she failed, she sank her teeth into Kaidan's forearm to silence herself instead.

Kaidan let out a yelp of pain, pulling his hand away, his upper body pitching forward to press flush against hers. They looked at each other a moment. Ashley's gaze heated hunger and lust. Kaidan's eyes soft and caring. Carefully, he slipped his arms about her, his casual strength holding her close while he resumed rocking into her body. She moved with him slow and deep until she was crying out in pleasure once more.

Kaidan kissed her then, breathing in her moans as his hips pushed her up to and over the height of her pleasure. Her back arched and her mind went white, unaware of the cries Kaidan wrested from her.

She bucked against him, her body convulsing with her orgasm and Kaidan only increased his speed.

He followed her eventually, his hips jerking into her. They trembled together, twitches and sparks jumping between them as Kaidan's biotics triggered with his shuddering nerves. Kaidan lifted his head and looked into her eyes, his expression tender and protective. He gently touched her hair, combing it with his fingers until it framed her face. Ashley found herself being pulled into that affectionate gaze and looked away, wriggling out from under him. She grabbed her under-weave roughly, forcing Kaidan to roll back onto the cold metal floor.

"Ashley… " he panted softly as he tried to reach out for her. "You're beautiful… You don't have to put on those clothes quite so quick."

She paused and looked at him, her eyes softened and a blush crept up her cheeks. The shy smile made her eyes shine. This would be the moment for tenderness, or at the very least, honesty. She could tell he was hoping for it by the optimistic look in his puppy-dog eyes. Instead, she pushed him away coldly and dressed.

"I'm sorry LT, I just don't want you to get court martialed for fraternization."

Kaidan sighed and reluctantly reached for his pants. Ashley kept her back to him and winced at the hurt she heard in his voice.

"I understand, Chief."

* * *

The conversation with Maggie had only ignited Garrus' anger. Since they were on an unsecured channel, neither of them gave details. Yet, Shepard's sister dropped careful, subtle hints as if speaking in code. It was enough to completely dissuade any reservations about the justice of the Commander's purpose.

"If he's as pissed off as you say he is, he's got damn good reasons. He knows the lines better than anyone and he doesn't cross them…...not unless he really has to," she had reassured him.

Her face had a strange expression Garrus couldn't read when she said the last few words and her voice seemed haunted. It only lasted a heartbeat before her fierce and friendly nature was back in place, masking whatever emotions and honesty the Turian had glimpsed.

Garrus hesitated, watching the girl's image on the vid screen suspiciously. "I just don't know what to do to help." Garrus finally admitted to her.

"Just watch his back and stick by him. I know he can be a dick when he's focused like this, but he's never wrong."

"There's got to be something more I can do."

"You're a good guy and a good soldier, Garrus," Maggie said with a smile. "You'll know what to do when you need to do it."

Her advice wasn't helpful. Yet, Garrus felt oddly reassured.

The next day they found Admiral Kahoku's body in a Cerberus facility crawling with Thorians, husks, and Rachni. Shepard loomed over Garrus as he examined the body and Garrus could barely keep his own voice from swimming in anger as he reported the needle tracks he'd found. After seeing the look on his friend's face as he took the news, Garrus wanted nothing more than to be a brother to Commander John Shepard's devastating vengeance.

Normally, the Commander was cautious, overly prepared, and precise with his tactical planning. However, the discovery of Cerberus' main operations base brought out some kind of renegade savagery in the man. Garrus could only watch as Shepard ordered Joker to make it to the base by the day's end. The snarky pilot didn't even sass the Commander about the extra strain the reckless flight would put on the ship.

Twelve hours later, Garrus hadn't once left Shepard's side and neither of them had slept. They prepared their weapons and armor together in a dark and brooding silence. Wrex was the only crew member on board who seemed indifferent about the headlong assault on a rogue terrorist group's base. So, he was the only one invited to come along.

By the time the squad returned to the Normandy, the underground base was a cave-in and the only things left were the handful of files in Shepard's hard suit and a very disappointed agent of the Shadow Broker.

Shepard was just about to leave the CIC when Joker chimed in again.

"Commander - I thought you'd want to know, a shuttle escaped the Cerberus base before it was destroyed."

"Follow it," the Commander ordered coolly.

"It was just a small personnel shuttle..." began Joker uneasily.

"I said, follow it. None of those bastards get out of there alive."

"I can't, sir!" Joker sounded horribly defeated. "It hit the relay - no telling where it went."

"You can't track it?" Shepard seethed, his hands twisted on the railing above the Galaxy map and the metal creaked in his grip.

"It'll take time..."

"Do it." Shepard commanded, turning towards the elevator and stripping off his armor. "Run a system scan while we're here too."

"Aye aye, Commander" Joker echoed, sharing an uncertain glance with Garrus as they watched him go.

* * *

For over a week, the Normandy chased after trace energy signatures of the rogue Cerberus shuttle. It brought them through multiple systems and left a trail of dead scientists. Garrus and Shepard poured over the reports, trying to find a connection between the scientists. Best they could tell, the corpses were all current or former Cerberus and Alliance operatives or employees. They were working late into the night, running on stims and coffee, when Tali appeared in the mess.

"Shepard. Garrus. What are you doing up?"

"I could ask the same of you." Shepard mumbled, stirring his coffee.

Shepard sat across from Garrus, who was pouring over a data-pad. Tali reached over him and poured herself a cup of the levo coffee Garrus was nursing.

"It's too quiet on the Normandy to sleep. Not enough noise, too few people."

Shepard and Garrus glanced at each other briefly.

"I suppose the Normandy is very different from the ships of the Migrant Fleet."

Garrus snorted. "You're just asking for a lecture on the drive core with comments like that, Shepard."

"You do have an  _amazing_  drive core." Tali swooned, much to Garrus' amusement.

Shepard studied Tali a moment and seemed to come to a decision. "Well, since you're up anyway, Tali...maybe you could help us out."

"Of course, Shepard. Anything I can do to help."

Garrus slid the datapad to Tali who sat herself next to Shepard.

"Cerberus shuttles… I thought we were going after Saren?" Tali asked after studying the datapad a moment.

"We are - Just...gotta take care of his first."

"Hmmm…You know the Fleet has no fondness for Cerberus. So, I'm not sad to see any less of them. But, there has to be a pattern to these killings. I could develop an algorithm to mine the data, try and find out where your rogue shuttle is going next."

Shepard blinked in surprise. "You can do that?"

"Absolutely. We have a similar program tracking Geth movements. I can use a modified version with your energy signatures here. The Admiralty would be unhappy if I use Quarian technology on an Alliance vessel though."

"But, we're using it to go after Cerberus. Does your Admiralty really need to know?"

"I can keep a secret if you can." Tali said playfully, nudging Shepard's arm.

"What do you think, Garrus?" Shepard prompted and the pair glanced across the table at the Turian who was snoring softly, his fringed head pillowed on an outstretched arm.

Together, Tali and Shepard snickered quietly as they took the datapad to work elsewhere. A few minutes later, Shepard returned with a blanket and draped it over the sleeping Turian before heading back to work.

* * *

"Chief, you finish the mods on my girl?"

Ashley nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the Commander's voice. She had been listening to messages from her sisters back at home. She fumbled at the controls but not before her sister's voice teasingly called the Commander "cuuuuuuuute."

"Tell me you didn't hear that."

"Your sister, I assume?"

"Until I get home and kill her. That's Sarah, the youngest. I'm surprised to see you here, sir. I thought you'd be chattin' up - what's her name - T'soni?"

Shepard already regretted this conversation. He'd just swung by to get his rifle and now he was getting grief over Liara and a complete run-down on Ashley's family history. Shepard had to silently count to ten to calm himself down when she referred to his relationship with Liara as "making nice with the bug-eyed monsters."

_You cannot punch your crew,_ Shepard reminded himself firmly _. Especially, not the girls._

The more he learned about Ashley though, the more he understood why she had been so attracted to him. They were eerily similar. They both came from military families, both had bratty younger sisters, both soldiers living up to a family legacy, both sole survivors from disasters that killed their squads. For Ashley, he suspected, it was the similarities between them that made him attractive. For Shepard, on the other hand, they had the exact opposite effect.

His frustration with the Gunnery Chief softened when he listened to the story about a boy getting fresh with her sister. That hit a little too close to home. Then, she started reciting poetry at him and he was simply baffled.

The rumor-mill reported that she was getting awfully cozy with Alenko. And, as long as it didn't get in the way of the mission, Shepard approved of the liaison. It took the sting out of his guilt for rejecting her. Now that she wasn't flirting with him, he found himself warming up to the Chief. Maybe, it was time to pull her back into ground team rotation...after he'd ripped those 'maw-loving Cerberus shit-heads limb from limb.

"So, look about my rifle…."

"Oh. Right. The mods went in great. Vakarian picked it up about an hour ago."

"I see. I should go."

As Shepard approached the Mako, he could hear Garrus' stifled laughter echoing from beneath it. He kicked the Turian's feet that protruded and a heartbeat later Garrus slid out from under the armored tank with a melodramatic sigh.

"aaaahh… poetry," the Turian mock swooned.

"Damn your Turian ears. I  _will_ shoot you, you know."

"No, you won't. I have your rifle."

"Fine. Give me my rifle so I can shoot you."

"Not a very convincing argument there, Shepard."

"What were you doing with my girl anyway?"

"Giving her a little love from the spirits…" Garrus grinned as he stood himself up and moved to his workbench. A moment later he returned. Shepard's rifle gleamed with fresh mods, fresh cleaning and a small plate built into the stock. Garrus held out his talon.

"Give me your  _Kahw-rieal_."

Shepard's ill humor prevented him from smiling, but he dug under his shirt to pull the chain of his dog tags over his head and dropped them into the Turian claw. A moment later, his sister's christmas gift, the kwah-whatever, was set into the base, glimmering prettily.

Shepard stepped next to Garrus and the two admired the assault rifle together.

"It's a pun, you know," Garrus rumbled quietly.

"A pun?"

"Honor them with life - In our language, the words for honor and life are very similar."

Shepard ignored the comment and scooped up his rifle.

"Tali's intel shows we might beat our rogue shuttle to the punch this time. We hit the Newton system in less than an hour. I want you and Alenko locked and loaded."

Garrus frowned, remembering his earlier conversation with the Lieutenant. "Are you sure about Alenko, Commander?"

"We'll need his biotics and I don't want Liara to see this."

"Yes, sir…. are you really ok to do this?"

Shepard cocked his rifle and sighted down the barrel at the floor. "Six years I've been waiting for this… Abso-fucking-lutely."

* * *

As soon the Normandy hit the Newton system, Shepard knew they were in the right place; as Garrus had said "he could feel it in his gut." Admiral Hackett's intel just confirmed what they already knew. Tali's data proved to be spot-on. The Commander was jittery with anticipation by the time they stepped into the base on Ontarum. He was actually disappointed that there were only a dozen mercs to kill.

Garrus tried to keep things light with his usual banter, but Shepard ignored him entirely. This was blood for blood, by the gallons. Shepard had forty-nine lives to avenge and only one scientist left to do it on. He was convinced that the rogue shuttle was a Cerberus operative terminating loose ends. If he could just get there first, he could find the truth and exact his vengeance.

Nothing in the galaxy could have prepared Shepard for finding his old Corporal - Robert Toombs stealing his fury right out from under him.

"Stay back! I've got no grief with you. All I want is this bastard."

Shepard shot a glare at the trembling scientist held at gunpoint.  _You and me both, buddy._ Shepard thought darkly.

"Mr. Toombs - you're insane you need help!" pleaded the scientist.

"SHUT UP!" Toombs shot back. "You don't get to lie… You don't….Shepard? My god, Shepard is that you?"

Shepard recognized the man immediately and stood in frozen silence as he tried to sort out how Toombs had survived, or if he had finally cracked and was hallucinating. Slowly, Shepard reassured himself of his sanity and came to terms with the truth. He'd been chasing his former comrade on a vengeance quest around the galaxy.

"Corporal Toombs? B-But I..I saw you die on Akuze. How did you get here?"

Tooms' story of torture at the hands of Cerberus only confirmed all of Shepard's suspicions in horrifying detail. Shepard's rage vanished, replaced by debilitating guilt.

"Toombs, I- I didn't see anybody." Shepard was shaking. "If I'd have seen you, I'd have come back for you. I swear."

"...This man deserves to die, Shepard. For you, for me, for everyone else in the unit. Are you with me?"

Hell yes, he was. Forty-nine lives. Children without fathers, wives without husbands. Six years of pain and guilt. Shepard lifted his assault rifle to his shoulder, sighting down the barrel at the trembling scientist's ugly face. His finger curled around the trigger.

_It's a pun you know...Honor them with life._

Shepard couldn't understand why he remembered Garrus saying that, right at this moment. Yet, he could remember his sister's voice, like she was standing right next to him.

_You will honor them, John Shepard._

He let out a shuddering breath and lowered his rifle, glancing down at the small metal plate in the stock. The whole room seemed to hold its breath and watch as Shepard studied his rifle in quiet contemplation for a moment before returning it to the holster on his back.

"You're better than this, Toombs"

_I'm better than this._  He was really saying to himself.

"You're not like them."

_I'm not like them._

"I was tortured for  _years_ , Shepard! You can't judge me. You don't have the right."

"Toombs, if I could have helped you on Akuze, I would have. All I can do is help now. Let me."

And, Shepard reached out his hand.


	11. Chapter 8: Virmire

"Suit up, Garrus!"

Shepard's voice echoed through the Cargo bay with equal parts jest and command. Garrus looked up from the Mako, tilting his head curiously as the Commander emerged from Engineering with Tali at his heels.

"Suit up?" The Turian asked skeptically.

"That was a joke. You're always armored," Shepard quipped.

Tali laughed appreciatively and Garrus frowned, looking down at his armor.

"Are you referring to my plates or my actual armor?"

"Well, damn. Now, you've gone and spoiled the joke."

"I thought we were still three days out from Virmire." Garrus asked curiously, reaching for his weapons from the nearby workbench and latching them onto the hardpoints of his armor.

"Four days now, actually. I've made a short detour. We'll be hitting the Herschel system in 5 minutes."

Garrus' mandibles flared into a wide predatory grin, his avian eyes sparkling with malice. The Turian growled a few octaves lower than usual.

"Dr. Saleon?" He made the name sound like a curse.

Shepard nodded.

At this point in the conversation, Shepard stood in the center of the cargo bay. Wrex was polishing his grandfather's armor on his cot nearby while Ashley and Kaidan talked quietly together at the weapons bench. A few other engineering and support staff were milling about with the requisitions officer. While no one was actively looking at him, Shepard could feel their focus circling him like a pack of nervous varen.

"Joker, you listening?"

"Uhh.. is that a trick question, Commander?

"Alright, listen up team. I owe you all an apology. I know for the past month I've lost sight of our mission, hunting for the terrorist group known as Cerberus. These missions were sanctioned by the Alliance, but I must admit I had a personal stake in them as well. I make no apologies for what we accomplished, only for my behavior. At times, my anger got the better of me and for that there is no excuse. I can promise you all that going forward it's not anger that drives us - but Justice. Justice for the civilians of Eden Prime. Justice for scientists at Noveria. And, Justice for the colonists at Feros. We're chasing that bastard Saren until he hangs for what he's done….Semper Fi Marines!"

"Oorah!" chorused the Alliance crew. Ashley and Kaidan were loudest of all. The Humans were obviously rallied, eagerly patting one another on the backs. Even Wrex seemed bolstered by the energy, punching his fists together and raising his shotgun in salute.

Tali and Garrus looked at one another in mutual confusion and Tali offered a faint shrug.

Shepard reveled in the energy of his crew, shaking hands and chatting for a moment before Joker announced:

"Arriving in Herschel system now, Commander. Picking up something on long-range scans. The MSV Fedele."

"Garrus, Tali. With me," Shepard ordered as he headed for the elevator. The boisterous cheers followed them through the CIC.

"Shepard," Garrus began as they finally moved out of earshot of the crew. "Far be it for me to question your inspirational speeches….but I don't think Dr. Saleon is relevant to catching Saren."

"He's relevant to you, Garrus. That's good enough for me."

* * *

Maggie Shepard's voice crackled with irritation from the terminal in Shepard's quarters. "Tell me you did not just ask me to interpret the behavior of a Turian I've never met who's on  _your_  ship four million light years away?"

"Uhhh…. What if I did? You know Turians. I thought you could offer some insight." Shepard tried to justify himself, but his excuses sounded pretty lame. His sister had a magical way of making him feel like a total dolt.

Maggie's image on the vid-screen rolled her eyes.

"I lived on Palaven for two years - that doesn't mean I'm instant Turian expert. Besides, Turians are just like people. They're assholes and heroes and everything in between. I've never met the guy, how the hell should I know if he's mad at you?"

"Well, I know you've spoken to him a couple of times…"

"Yeah, when you're avoiding me," Maggie interrupted and glowered. Even from millions of lightyears away, Shepard could still feel the accusation in her gaze. He shifted uncomfortably.

"I  _said_  I was sorry about that!"

"You totally didn't mean it." Maggie teased him, but she was smiling. It was just their way. "I'll take it as a personal favor if you don't take anymore wounds to avoid me over."

"Noted."

"Good. Now, I've got better things to worry about than how you pissed off your Turian sniper."

Shepard frowned.

"Throw me a bone here, Mags. I stopped him from killing that Salarian and he's pissed. I might have overstepped some boundary that I don't understand. Are you sure it isn't a Turian thing?"

"Did he hit you?"

"Well, no. He's just avoiding me."

"Then, he's not  _that_ pissed."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome, Lieutenant Commander Socially Inept."

Shepard snorted derisively in response. There was simply no dealing with the girl sometimes.

On the other side of the galaxy, the dark-haired, slender Engineer glanced down at her brother's image on her wrist and sighed. She uneasily glanced about the docking bay and inched away from her team, lowering her voice and blocking the image on her wrist with her body as she spoke into it.

"Look, he's a soldier alright? But, he's also your friend. Just treat him like you would any other friend. Do whatever you guys do to work out your problems. Drink beer, throw punches, piss off a roof. But, don't treat him differently 'cause he's a Turian. If you still can't figure it out, talk to someone on your ship, like that blue hussy. Asari are supposed to be good at this shit right? I can't do anything for you from..." Maggie hesitated and glanced behind her uneasily, "uhh...where I am."

Shepard looked thoughtful in the blurry holo hovering above Maggie's wrist.

"Ok - I think I have an idea about what to do. Thanks, Mags."

Maggie couldn't help but smile at her sibling. Even from this distance, she felt the pride and warmth of his thanks.

"No problem. How's everything else going? You handle that Cerberus bullshit?"

"Yeah - I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it yet - but it's handled."

"I read ya. Let me know when you're ready to …" Maggie trailed off and looked away from the screen.

One of her new squadmates was waving to get her attention.

"Twelve minutes 'til contact, my lady," he gushed.

Maggie rolled her eyes.

"I'll be right there, Johnnie." She turned back to her wrist. "Look, Jo-Jo I really gotta run."

"Who is that guy? You got a hot date?" Shepard teased.

"He wishes...I'm sorry, duty calls. But, we'll catch up again soon ok?"

"Yeah, of course. Behave yourself, you hear?"

Maggie winked at the image on her omni-tool. "You know me! Fly safe out there."

She dropped her wrist and turned to her team.

"Alright, let's move out."

Back on the Normandy, Shepard starred in quiet disbelief at his blank terminal screen. It was only the briefest glimpse, but as his sister's wrist had dropped, he saw her surroundings and her clothing. She appeared to be in a weapons depot or some kind of staging area and it had almost looked like his sister was wearing red light-weight armor and had a pistol on her hip. He hadn't recorded the call and he had no way to play back the feed to find out for sure.

Shepard shook his head. It had to just be his overtired brain filling in combat-like images where there were none. It didn't stop him from worrying though.

Communications engineers don't use pistols, at least as far as he knew.

* * *

Liara watched the Commander pace the small space of her "office." The Asari Doctor leaned against the edge of her desk, arms crossed, and patiently observed the Commander's awkward uncertainty. Their relationship was something new and strange to her. She had never had another member of any species take such an interest. They had confided in one another; their time together was like a separate peace from the rest of the missions and crew. Learning and growing together, her quarters were sanctuary. He asked questions, listened, and his gentle compliments made her feel strong. Shepard made her feel like she was the most powerful being in the galaxy.

The Asari worried that she had confessed her feelings for the Commander too soon. But, he chose her over Ashley and seemed to reciprocate. But, whatever they had was obviously set aside while he pursued the fury-driven assault on Cerberus. Now, that hurdle had passed only to be immediately replaced by another; much more endearing one. She sighed inwardly; just as she was getting up the courage to act on her feelings, too.

"He's avoiding me, Liara. I just know it. After I stopped him from killing that Salarian… What if he's lost respect for me?"

"Does his respect matter so much to you, Shepard? You seem more upset about the Garrus' behavior than other more… problematic displays from your crew."

Liara hadn't particularly said any individual; but Ashley was certainly in her implications. The wayward Marine had caused nothing but trouble and the Commander had for the most part ignored it. He pulled her off the ground team rotations in punishment for her striking Liara. But, a substantial part of the crew agreed with her more xenophobic tendencies and any further actions might have caused schisms in the Normandy's personnel. Shepard blew out a breath as he considered the Asari.

Liara made him think about things differently. It was part of the reason he was drawn to her so much. He made a herculean effort to keep his eyes from roaming down her lean curves. That was certainly part of the attraction, too.

"You're right. Of all the crap facing us right now, it's silly that Garrus should be my chief concern. But, it's really bothering me."

"Of course his behavior bothers you." Liara said with a smile, stepping forward and touching his forearm softly. "He's more than your crew. He's your friend."

Shepard let his gaze run from the Asari's hand to her eyes. He felt himself smile and gently covered her hand with his own as he leaned in towards her.

"Yeah. I guess he is."

Liara could feel herself blushing, the touch of his hand and the look in his eyes and his smile.

_By the goddess...when he smiles._

She pulled away suddenly, afraid he could read her feelings like another Asari might. She was rubbing her hands together nervously as she moved back towards her terminal.

"So, how would you handle his behavior...as a friend?"

Shepard frowned when she pulled away. He watched her a moment and figured perhaps he had overstepped some kind of Asari boundary without knowing.

"I'll have to give that some thought. But, thanks Liara. I think you pointed me in the right direction."

"I'm happy to be of any assistance, Shepard. I… uhmm.. is there anything else?"

She risked a glance at him out of her eye, hoping maybe there was.

"No. Thank You, Liara. I should go."

"Goodbye, Shepard." She sighed as she watched the doors close behind him.

* * *

Garrus didn't want to see Shepard. His anger was still too fresh. The Commander's explanation about predicting people's reactions and controlling your responses was thought-provoking, but it failed to quench the thirst for blood. However, Shepard said "guys night" was mandatory attendance the night before they reached Virmire.

So, as instructed, Garrus had grumpily tromped his way up to the Commander's quarters to find Kaidan, Wrex, and Joker gathered with Shepard around his terminal; already cracking into bottles of beer.

"Garrus!" everyone cheered him upon arrival and all he could do was frown.

"What's going on?" Garrus asked suspiciously.

"Dirty Harry. Grab a seat - it just started. Dextro booze on the left." Shepard said simply, sliding over to make room for the Turian.

Garrus stood at the doorway awkwardly for a moment and then submitted himself to the inevitable.

" _you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?_ "

Garrus was riveted. "What's that?" he whispered to Shepard

"His badge. It's like your C-Sec ID."

"And, he just threw it away?!"

"Shhhh!"

By the end of the vid, Garrus found himself relaxed; his anger vanquished like so many "punks." They stayed in Shepard's quarters long after the vid had finished, laughing and discussing the finer points of Inspector Callahan's badassery. Shepard shared his modified Razer for all to see and it was universally agreed that the mods really did make the weapon look like the legendary .44 magnum, which made Kaidan beam with pride.

Later, Kaidan enthusiastically argued for a modern remake of the vid with a biotic Inspector Callahan and eventually enlisted Garrus' support for the idea; on the condition he was a C-Sec Inspector with a Turian partner. Wrex calmly informed them that they were all wrong since the only true way the character could be recreated accurately in modern times was as a Krogan on Tuchanka. Shepard, carefully, refused to take sides, and Joker's snarky humor kept them laughing late into the night. As the evening wound down, the others left one-by-one and Garrus lingered.

"I'm glad you liked the vid, Garrus." Shepard offered as they cleaned up the empty bottles around his terminal.

"I did...and thank you for inviting me."

"Of course, wouldn't be a 'guys night' without you."

"I thought it was interesting…Callahan always gave them a chance to surrender. In the end, it was the criminal's choice."

Shepard smiled. "I thought you'd like that."

"I did. It… made a lot of things clear."

"Good. Ready for tomorrow, then?"

"I'm here when you need me."

* * *

_I really should have known better._  Shepard thought bitterly.

He was sitting on the beach at the edge of the Salarian STG camp on Virmire, watching the waves serenely wash ashore. He'd just managed to talk Wrex down from imminent violence; and he wasn't even sure it was the right thing to do. It was just the most expedient course of action for the mission.

_Hah...the mission._

Shepard tried to think about how many "Investigate and Report" missions in his career had ever really involved simply investigating and reporting. Was there ever a single one that didn't result in bloodshed and death? He ran down the mental list of his dozens of completed "I&R" missions over eleven years of military service from Akuze to this shit-storm on Virmire and he couldn't tally a single one that went smoothly.

_When all this is over, I am never taking another I &R again._ He knew he was lying to himself. But, it was reassuring somehow. He heard Liara's footsteps behind him, but kept his eyes on the ocean in front of him.

"Captain Kirrahe has asked for you. He's prepared a plan of attack." She said softly, staring at his back.

Guilt was eating at her. She'd told him to she wasn't ready, asked him to wait to handle their personal feelings towards each other until after the mission. She'd never really been in combat before, she was quickly learning the calculating coldness of dealing in violence, but suddenly with death staring them in the face, waiting seemed like a bad idea. All she wanted was to indulge in the feelings that has built up between them.

Shepard stood mechanically taking a last glimpse of the ocean before turning. Liara caught his hand with hers.

"Shepard, about us… I really wish th.."

"Liara, I'd like you to stay on the Normandy for this one." he interrupted.

"Oh. I… I see."

"We can talk when I get back." he gave her hand a squeeze before letting go.

"Y-Yes, Shepard."

Liara cursed herself for a coward and paused to watch the Commander walk away. With a sigh, she headed back to the Normandy.

Shepard listened to the Salarian Captain with his cool and confident Commander act covering his bitter thoughts. As kamikaze plans go, Kirrahe's wasn't a bad one. He sent Ashley with the Salarians, since despite being a royal pain in the ass, she was a good soldier. He genuinely thought she'd have the best shot at dragging the STG team out alive. And, Kaidan's tech skills would be more valuable setting up their jury-rigged atomic bomb. They were as ready as they were going to be, and yet, Kaidan was doing an awful lot of reassuring aimed at Ashley. The Gunnery Chief was looking straight at Shepard.

"Don't worry. We'll see you on the other side." The Lieutenant was saying.

"I know, I ah, it's been an honor serving with you, Commander." Shepard felt like she was apologizing as she said it. That was the most disturbing thing yet. So, he gave her assurances too.

"...we're still a team. Watch each other's backs, keep your eyes open, and fight like I know you can. We'll all come out of this in one piece."

"You bet, Commander."

Before Shepard could gather his team, the Salarian Captain launched into a speech that would've done the British Bulldog proud.

"Keep Calm and Hold the Line" Shepard muttered quietly; mimicking Churchill. He caught Ashley hiding her chuckle behind a cough.

Shepard was making his last preparations with Garrus and Wrex. Grenades. Medi-gel. Armor seals. Weapons. Everything was in order. Wrex was getting impatient and restless; the rage barely restrained in his uneasy pacing. Shepard took the Krogan by the shoulder and looked him steadily in the eyes; a feat he was only able to accomplish because of his height.

"We'll get him, Wrex. We'll make him pay for your people and my people both."

The Krogan snorted out a breath with a nod. They started to move off together when Shepard noticed Kaidan hovering.

"I'll meet you at the wall. Garrus, let the Captain know we're ready to move on his signal."

"Affirmative."

Shepard took a few steps away from prying ears and Kaidan immediately followed him.

"What is it, Kaidan?"

"Look, Commander...off the record… about Ashley…"

"Now is really not the time..." Shepard growled.

"You should have sent me!" the anger in the Lieutenant's voice was tangible.

"She can handle herself, Lieutenant. I'm not going to argue about this with you. Get your head out of your pants and focus on your job."

To Shepard's surprise, Kaidan didn't back down.

"Look, if you want to court martial me when this is over, that's fine. I got no illusions about this ending in happily ever after. Just as long as she gets out of this ok….Please, Shepard. She's important to me."

Something in the tone of the young man's voice gave Shepard pause. Involuntarily his thoughts went to Liara back on the ship. It was unfair and he knew it.

_A family you build…They will give you strength_

" _Everyone_  is getting off this bloody rock - except for Saren. You read me, Lieutenant? Thanksgiving is this week and I sure as hell ain't cooking."

"Yes, sir." Kaidan blushed sheepishly.

Shepard smiled and held up his hand.

Kaidan seized Shepard's hand with a fierce grip and Shepard pulled the smaller Marine into a hug. Their armor scraped and rattled together at the gesture before they pulled away. Kaidan looked up at the Commander and matched Shepard's smile with one his own.

"What makes the grass grow, Marine?"

They said it together.

"Blood, Blood, BLOOD!"

* * *

"I understand, Commander. I don't regret a thing."

There was nothing more to be said. Sometimes, the simplest things meant the most. The Lieutenant scrambled for cover against the onslaught of Geth that funneled out of the drop ship. It was convenient since it created an easy bottle-neck where his biotics could do the most damage.

Perhaps it was just the adrenaline, imminent death can jumpstart your brain afterall, but everything moved slower. The details around Kaidan were so much more poignant. He could feel the coolness of the water around his ankles, the rippling tingles of the mass effect fields that shred through his body, the faint smell of ozone that buzzed from his shields. In his comm unit, he could hear Shepard still trying to negotiate with Saren and pride filled his chest so much it ached.

Kaidan let loose another burst of fire at the tumble of Geth, but they were starting to push through. He heard one of his men gasp as he took a bullet, but together they held their ground. Those synthetic bastards were never going to get close enough to the bomb to disarm it.

Kaidan ducked behind the bomb to let his assault rifle cool; popping out to throw another biotic blast into the onslaught. His omni-tool displayed the countdown - four more minutes.

It was strange how even knowing he was about to die, that these were the last minutes of his life, part of his mind still wondered about the mission. Shepard's firefight with Saren was echoing over his comms, he could hear Garrus, Wrex, Ashley and even Captain Kirrahe coordinating their attacks against the single opponent.

"I hope the punk feels lucky…" Kaidan chuckled to himself, but no one nearby was alive to appreciate the joke.

He heard the Normandy swing past low to pick up the rest of the team...and Ashley. He followed it with his eyes, silently willing the ship to get her to safety faster. The diversion cost him a bullet punching through his shields and armor and into his gut. He instinctually blasted the offending Geth with his biotics, sending the synthetics scrambling before he doubled over against the nuclear bomb.

"We can't leave without Kaidan!" he could hear Ashley arguing over the comms; it sounded like she was struggling. "We have to go back for him!"

"Williams, there's no time. Get on the ship!" he could hear the Captain Kirrahe's odd voice arguing with her.

"No...NO! Not without him!" Ashley was growling. "Kaidan, can you hear me? We're coming to get that shapely ass of yours right now!"

Kaidan hauled himself upright and leaned back against the bomb, panting heavily. With a grunt of effort, he pulled out his pistol and kept firing.

"Ash…" he mumbled hoarsely, unsure if his comms could even pick up his voice. "Please… Ash… Just go…."

Terror was running through him. Ashley was stubborn and willful at the best of times. He could only imagine the fight she was putting up on his behalf.

_Could the girl be so hard-headed to get herself killed for me? Maybe she really feels something for me..._

In his mind's eye, he could see her throwing punches to get free from the Salarian Captain and running down the corridors towards him. It was hard to breathe, he looked down and noticed the water pooling around him was turning red, but it was cool, comforting, and it didn't hurt anymore.

_Will my blood make the grass grow?_

"Kaidan…" the Commander's somber, but reassuring voice came over his coms. "We've got her. She's safe."

Kaidan felt his body relax and he looked up at the darkened sky to watch the Normandy fly to safety. With the cloud cover, the sky looked a lot like an ocean he remembered from Earth. He'd loved watching the ocean from his parent's deck in Vancouver. It was a beautiful view.

As he watched, the colors began to shift - colors beyond words, swimming like the curling edges of comets. He could see a vast sea of shifting planets, systems, and galaxies spinning together through the currents of those colors.

"Th-thank you, Shepard." He gasped and let his heavy eyes close. It felt like he was floating.

"See you on the other side, Kaidan."

* * *

Shepard watched through the Normandy's windows as the flash of the nuclear bomb illuminated Virmire. He felt the empty numbness that had nearly paralysed him so many years before. He embraced it, wrapped it around himself like a blanket, and let it creep over the thoughts that he didn't want to hear right now.

"Debrief in an hour"

"I'll let the team know, Commander." Joker confirmed in a hushed tone.

Garrus took charge of settling in the Salarian team. Wrex went immediately to sleep and Tali led Ashley to the med-bay where Dr. Chakwas took charge of her care. The Doctor immediately sedated her, even though she only suffered minor cuts and bruises. At the back of the med-bay, Liara waited anxiously for Shepard to come speak with her. But, he never came.

After the debrief and council report, Shepard kept himself busy in mindless routine. He showered, he ate, he cleaned and polished his armor, disassembled and oiled his weapons, cleaned his quarters, read his reports, and even checked on the Salarians they'd managed to save. He did everything he could to keep himself moving. That worked until he had no other option but to face the last task he was trying to avoid.

Shepard settled himself in his cabin with the strongest bottle of alcohol he could find. He'd polished off about a quarter of it when Garrus appeared at his door, holding two bottles and two glasses. When he entered and saw Shepard sitting at his terminal with his own bottle, Garrus let out a dark remorseful chuckle.

"Great minds think alike."

Shepard didn't look at the Turian, he was staring at an outgoing message screen on his terminal. The message was addressed to the Alliance Command, the subject was "Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko - KIA." The cursor blinked following "It is with the deepest regret..."

"Why are you here, Garrus?"

Shepard hadn't meant for the question to be as harsh as it ended up sounding.

"They say if you drink alone…you have a problem."

Shepard looked up at the Turian, noting the bottles in his hands, then nodded to an empty seat.

Garrus sat down and set out the glasses, pouring a glass for each of them out of their respective bottles. They sat together, drinking in sullen silence for a long while. Eventually, Shepard's voice broke the silence in a soft, even tone.

"How does the Turian military inform next of kin?"

Garrus swallowed the rest of his glass in one long pull, mandibles pulled tight in a grimace against his jaw. The Turian inhaled sharply at the sting of the drink, his voice was rough and low.

"There's a specific messaging system. Bypasses all other protocols immediately to the family. Plays a recorded message from the Primarch, thanking them for their sacrifice."

Shepard nodded and looked down at the glass in his hands.

"How will Alenko's family be notified?" Garrus asked in a hushed tone.

"There's a specific branch of soldiers - Casualty Assistance Command Officers. A pair of them will arrive at their home or workplace in full dress uniform. They will ask for an opportunity to speak privately with his family and then inform them of his death. They are specifically trained for it, stress response, psychological therapies and all. After, they stay with the family until someone is called to comfort them in their time of need. An officer will be on call to assist until after the funeral."

"Oh." Garrus said lamely. "That's much more…" he failed to find the right word.

"Compassionate?" offered Shepard, with a dark and humorless chuckle.

"Human," Garrus said, with a frown. "It seems. . . vulgar, somehow, to have strangers intrude on a private time of grief." He tossed his drink back in one gulp and slammed the glass down onto the table.

"So you just leave the grieving widow alone with a fucking recording? That's it?" Shepard grimaced and leaned over to refill Garrus' glass. "That's cold."

"False comfort is worse," Garrus retorted. "If your 'Casualty Assistance Officers' were there when the fallen soldier died and could bear witness to the sacrifice - then they would be worthy. Better to hear it later from someone who was there. . . to know the truth. To be told, not only of how your loved one died, but how his comrades avenged his loss and commended his spirit to the regiment."

"So, Human soldiers comfort widows..." Shepard said, bitterly. "...And, Turian soldiers avenge the fallen."

Garrus raised his glass in silent salute. "Between you, the Human, and me, the Turian, we'll do both. For Lieutenant Alenko."

"Amen to that," Shepard said grimly. He finished his drink in one quick swallow and turned back to his screen. Garrus sat with him, pouring their drinks in silent companionship, as the Commander finalized his reports and a single message.

_Admiral Hackett -_

_It is with the deepest regret I write to inform you and Alliance Command of the death of Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Tactics Specialist of the 5th Fleet; 27th Division Alliance Marine Corps. who was killed in action on Virmire in the Hoc System of the Sentry Omega Cluster on November 23rd, 2183._

_Details of his death and heroic action are specified in the attached reports and will be confirmed by Captain Kirrahe and Commander Rentola of the Salarian Special Tasks Group 3rd Infiltration Regiment. As described, Lieutenant Alenko served with honor, distinction, and courage. His actions demonstrated_ _conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the cost of his own life. He performed courageously above and beyond the call of duty in combat action against an overwhelming armed force._

_For these reasons, I formally nominate Lieutenant Alenko for the Alliance Medal of Honor, posthumously._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Commander John Shepard_

_N-7 Alliance Command, SSV Normandy_

_Citadel Council Special Tactics and Reconnaissance_

After Shepard finished, turned off his terminal and sat back in his chair staring stoically forward.

"You wanna hit the bag for a bit?" Garrus offered

"Yeah, we can pretend it's Saren."


	12. Chapter 9: Grounded

**Chapter 9: Grounded**

“...The Council’s massing a joint-species fleet to deal with Saren and his geth.” Joker reported, unable to hide the excitement from his voice.

“I knew they’d come around. Back to the Citadel, Joker. I want the Normandy at the head of that fleet.”

“Yes, sir.”

Nothing spreads faster than big news on a small ship. Shepard didn’t even have to inform his crew about the joint fleet amassing in Citadel space. He was still in the elevator when the first cheers erupted around the ship. The victory was bitter-sweet. Finally, the Council was supporting them. Saren was going to get what he deserved, but at a bloody cost.

The Normandy still had another three days until they reached the Citadel; they would be easy days with the crew so elated. Shepard felt the warmth of the crew’s enthusiasm melting away the numbness in his core, until he saw Ashley packing away the items on Kaidan’s workbench. He turned away from the sight and headed to his quarters.

He didn’t remember falling asleep and he didn’t remember answering messages or doing his rounds of the ship either. But, apparently he had done them. The numbness had spread into his actions now too.

_That’s not a good sign,_ Shepard thought.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor, and he couldn’t remember how long he’d been sitting like that. He hadn’t noticed that his door had opened and that Garrus had entered until the big Turian started speaking.

“You ok, Shepard?”

“Fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“Well, I am.”

“You may be able to fool the rest of the crew, but not me. And not Liara. You haven’t talked to her and I think she might be causing the ship to destabilize with all her pacing.”

_Oh… right… Liara. She’d told him to wait. Mission came first...mission always comes first._

“I’ll talk to her.”

“And, you might want to talk to Williams too.”

Shepard continued to stare at the empty floor between Garrus’ feet.

“Anything else, Vakarian?” he asked, numbly. Garrus winced at the emptiness of his tone and turned away with a sigh.

“No, Shepard. But I’m here if you need me.” 

* * *

Shepard finally left Liara’s quarters far past the established sleep cycle. Leave it to the Asari to swing him 180 degrees. He’d entered the med-bay full of empty fury and numbness and left with a calm warmth and a strange, sad sympathy for Saren. He was also in a desperate need of a cold shower. Her voice still echoed in his head.

_Two become one...weave themselves together, becoming entangled in a single rapturous whole…_ Shepard shuddered involuntarily at the thought.  _Definitely a cold shower..._

Shepard was en route to accomplish that goal when he stumbled across a incredibly strange sight for the Normandy after hours. Half the crew, aliens and humans alike and even some of the Salarian STG team, were gathered in the mess, drinking in a boisterous and cooperative atmosphere. Shepard approached quietly and leaned against a nearby bulkhead, staying just out of sight. Everyone was obviously pretty deep into their cups. Based on the bottles littering the tables, not a soul was sober in that chattering group. Tali was speaking with a faint slur and it took him only a heartbeat to realize she was talking about Kaidan.

“...we worked on our decryption algorithmsh together… and he was alwaysh so accepting…” She started to sniffle and suddenly Tali and Ashley were hugging.

Shepard recognized the pattern. The majority of the human female crew were gathered like a protective flock around Ashley. It was a wake.

Garrus sidled up next to Shepard and leaned next to him against the wall.

“That’s not a sight I thought I’d live to see.”

Shepard nodded in quiet agreement.

“Commander, about what I said earlier… about Saren and the Council. I’ll follow your lead when it comes to putting down Saren. But I worked at C-Sec for a long time. I learned some hard lessons about relying on the Council for help.”

“What are you saying, Garrus?”

“It never hurts to have a plan B.”

“Do you have one?”

“Not yet. But, I’ll let you know when I do.”

They stood together in silence a moment, watching the gathering of the crew. Listening to each share something they remembered about Kaidan.

“How long has this been going on?” Shepard asked

“Two hours, give or take…I got the feeling everyone was kind of waiting.”

“For what?”

Garrus’ shoulders shook in silent laughter and Shepard looked around, realizing that the chatter had died down and everyone was looking at him expectantly.

“For you, Shepard.”

Shepard coughed softly into his hand and stepped away from the bulkhead towards the group, leaving Garrus chuckling behind him.

Ashley looked up at him as he approached. Her eyes were puffy and she had dark circles underneath. Tears glistened but she refused to let them fall. He put a hand on her shoulder and offered her a soft smile before turning to face the rest of the assembled crew.

“Lieutenant Alenko was a good soldier. He was skilled, smart, and lethal. He fought, he did his duty and I’ll miss him. But, Kaidan…” Shepard paused and looked at Ashley, then bowed his head slightly.

“I met Kaidan a year ago. Our first night together on the Normandy under Captain Anderson, we ate turkey sandwiches and drank ourselves stupid in the crew quarters. Together we created new curse words for the brass for keeping us away from our families.”

A round of awkward laughter went through the human crew and Shepard chuckled softly at the memory.

“Kaidan bought us drinks, cooked us meals, talked about making movies and danced in his armor. Kaidan brought people together. Kaidan fought for what he believed...” he glanced at Ashley “...and died for what mattered most to him.”

“In the end it’s Kaidan, not the Lieutenant, that I’ll miss most of all.”

A murmur of agreement went through the assembled crew and Shepard picked up the closest drink.

“And Kaidan would be pissed about everyone moping about. So everyone grab a drink get to it.”

Shepard led by example, chugging the drink he’d grabbed, avoiding the straw and nearly choking on the sticky sweetness. The assembled crew cheered and threw back their own drinks with gusto. Shepard started to gag on the drink - the overpowering flavor made his jaw clench.

“Graggh! What is this crap?”

Tali and Garrus were staring at him slack-jawed, or slack-helmeted in Tali’s case.

“That was my drink, Shepard.” Tali gasped.

“Oh.”

“Dr. Chakwas!” 

* * *

An hour later, Shepard lay in the med-bay with an IV in his arm, drunker than he had ever been in his whole life.

And he was a Marine. He knew drunk.

Shepard clawed his way to sit upright through the air that felt like marshmallows, swaying heavily with the spinning of the room, watching the blurry shapes of his friends and crew around him. His eyes locked on Garrus and he grinned like a school boy.

“Life and honor you big turkey-ostrichsh! Gimme some wing!”

He raised his hand to high-five one of the Turian’s many perceived limbs and completely missed, nearly falling off the bed in the process. Garrus managed to catch him before he pulled the IV out of his arm and pushed him back onto the bed.

“Are you sure this is normal, Dr. Chakwas?” Garrus asked nervously, putting one heavy armored forearm on the Commander’s chest to hold him down.

“He’ll be fine, Garrus.” Dr. Chakwas assured him, snickering. “He wasn’t allergic and the IV is providing the proteins he needs to process the foreign amino-acids. Just a few hours, he’ll be...incapacitated….until his body has flushed out everything.”

Garrus grumbled half-heartedly about babysitting poisoned Shepard and drunk Tali. At least he’d managed to coax Liara to return to bed. Garrus was afraid there would be a biotic hole in Shepard’s head after the Commander had told the Asari “ _to embrace yourself because those curves go on to eternity._ ” Strangely enough, Liara smiled and turned a deeper shade of blue as if his drunken antics were a compliment.

“I lovesh this ship.” Tali sighed wistfully in her drunken stupor, she was laying across the bottom of the bed perpendicular to Shepard, her helmet pillowed on Shepard’s boots.

“Shessss the most beautiful thing…the bestsh girl with a heart of eezo.” Shepard slurred with her.

“I likesh that you call Normandy a she… _She_ has a beautiful stealth system, and a beautiful thanix cannon, and a _really_ beautiful drive core...” Tali continued, giggling.

“I’ll be sure to pass your compliments on to Palaven.” Garrus muttered grumpily

“Jusht ‘cause she’s Turian doeshn’t mean she’s Palaven! She’s Allianshce.” Shepard declared stubbornly.

“Yes, Shepard.” Garrus knew better than to argue with drunks, but simply couldn’t help himself. “The Normandy is an Alliance vessel, but she was constructed with Turian technology on Palaven.”

“Noooo.. ‘cause my shisster was there and she… knowsh ships and the Normandy was Andersonsh project and she...she...” Shepard blinked and sat up suddenly, nearly knocking Tali to the floor as his feet kicked her helmet.

“That little brat! She built my damn ship!” Shepard exclaimed and Tali started to wail.

“Bosh’tet! I didn’tsh do anything! You kicked me!”

“No no…you’re not a brat, Tali…you’re wondersful!” Shepard gave Tali’s helmet an affectionate pat. “Sorry I kicked you. My sister is a brat. An underhanded, sneaky, ship-building brat.”

“I’m your sister?”

“Of courshe you are!”

“Keelah! I’ve alwaysh wanted a brother!” Tali exclaimed excitedly and jumped into Shepard’s arms. It was a tumbling hug and they both laughed in drunken felicity. Garrus sighed and carefully moved Shepard’s IV line to safety away from their flailing.

“You guysh… you’re my family… The family I build!” Shepard grinned up at Garrus, holding out his hand.

In spite of himself, Garrus’ mandibles flared into a smile as he looked down at the Quarian and Human in his care. He took Shepard’s hand carefully in his talon, surprised at the Human’s fierce grip.

“Of course we are, Shepard.”

“Shee you on the other side…ya big turkey!”

With sudden force, Shepard pushed Tali aside, leaned over the bed, and threw up on Garrus’ boots.

Garrus sighed.

* * *

“Come on, Mags! Some super genius you turn out to be. You built the poor girl - now set her free!”

Shepard knew it was a long shot. The report to the Council had resulted in utter failure. The fleet they were amassing wasn’t going anywhere near the Mu Relay. To make matters worse, Ambassador Udina had grounded him. He’d pinned his hopes on his sister’s skills freeing the Normandy from its political prison and she’d come up empty. He rubbed his temples, unsure if the Council or his hangover was giving him the worst headache.

“I’ve tried, John! You know if there was anything I could do to release the Normandy, I’d do it in a heart-beat. But, without Ambassadorial access, I’m sunk! If you could psychically access the Ambassador's terminal, I could design a program that would replicate his commands...but it’d only give you minutes. Not enough time to get back to the Normandy before the program was discovered.”

“What if I got someone else to access the terminal and load your program?”

“It would work, assuming you trusted this person enough not to screw you… but then the poor bastard is standing there with his hand in the cookie jar.”

Shepard’s tried to cover his anger with teasing, but Maggie knew him too well.

“Send me the program anyway. I might be able to find another Plan B.”

Maggie frowned on the vid-call, her eyes studying her brother through the holographic display with obvious concern.

“Jo-Jo…Some folks might call this treason. That’s a big anti-boy-scout step for you. Don’t get me wrong! I’m proud of you...but...you gotta level with me. How bad is it….really?”

Shepard swallowed hard and glanced around his cabin, ensuring he was alone.

“End-of-all-life-in-the-galaxy bad, Mags.”

The color drained from her face, but there was determined resolution in her eyes.

“How can I help?”

“I don’t want you involved. These are serious heavy hitters. I don’t want you in danger.”

“Fuck you. I’m part of life in the galaxy, aren’t I? I’m already in danger.”

“Touché.”

“So, let me help! You’re not in this alone.”

“I dunno, Mags…..”

“Don’t make me use the puppy dog eyes on you….”

“Ugh...Fine. You can do some digging for me. See if you can come up with any intel on the Mu Relay - or some planet called Ilos. Supposed to have Prothean shit there...Something called ‘The Conduit.’ Good guys gotta find it first.”

“On it! You’re such a big softy.” She gloated.

“ _Discreetly_ , Mags. I’m serious. These folks play for blood.”

“I will be a data-combing ninja.”

“Good girl. Stay safe.”

“See you space cowboy.”

Shepard slammed the console to switch it off, hanging his head and huffing out a breath. He was still trying to wrap his head around how things had fallen apart so quickly. Part of him felt it was his punishment for failing Kaidan.

_...every dirty job that comes along._ He heard Kaidan’s Clint Eastwood impersonation in his head and smiled.

Shepard resolved to take a very drastic step. He would trade the Cerberus files to the Shadow Broker - assuming the bastard was still interested and able to set the Normandy loose. It was time to pull out all the stops. He made up his mind and stomped angrily to his locker where he kept the files from his hard-suit. He knelt and started to tap at the combination. He didn’t notice Liara approach.

Liara startled him and he turned to sit on the floor, his back to the locker, as if trying to cover up what his intentions had been. Shepard found himself on the floor with his legs outstretched, like he had spent so many childhood hours. He immediately felt his nerves calming. He looked up into Liara’s caring eyes and his anger melted away.

“Commander? Shepard? I cannot believe they did this to you. I am so sorry.”

His heart ached as he looked at her. He was failing her too.

“It’s not your fault.”

By the end of the conversation, Shepard felt like at least one thing was going right. He snaked his arm around the Asari’s supple waist, his other gripping her shoulder, and leaned in for the long-awaited kiss….

“Sorry to interrupt Commander. I’ve got a message from Captain Anderson.”

_Fuck!_ Shepard growled inside his own head.

“You should probably go meet with him.” Liara said with a strange finality to her tone.

“Right. Joker, have Garrus meet us at the airlock.”

“Aye aye, Commander.”

“Us?” Liara asked, tilting her head to the side. “Would you like me to come along?”

“It’s about time I took you out someplace nice.”

“Someplace nice….with Garrus.”

Shepard shrugged with a smile.

“Someone’s gotta make me look pretty.”

* * *

Shepard was excited to take Liara out on what could loosely be termed as a “date.” It was more accurately an apology mission for his several hours of dextro-alcohol poisoning. Unfortunately for him, he remembered the whole thing; including his bad pickup lines.

They hit the markets. Shepard bought a fancy new omni-tool for Tali and a new sniper rifle complete with mods for Garrus, and some upgraded armor for himself. No point in saving money when all life in the galaxy was probably ending. He’d never seen the Turian more excited than with a new sniper rifle.

Despite his best efforts, Liara turned down every offered gift.

“Your company is all the gift I require, Shepard,” she said with a smile.

Garrus coughed into a talon and focused on the pros and cons of switching to high explosive ammunition.

As they headed to Flux to meet Anderson, a lot of yelling and sign waving caught their attention. Some political candidate named Charles Saracino was leading a rabble and flagged down the Commander, trying to win his support in the upcoming election.

“The war taught humanity a lesson that some would forget. If we don’t stand up for ourselves no one else will.”

Garrus could feel the silent growl from Shepard like a Turian tonal communication with a lot of expletives.

“Everyday I stand up for humanity, often in the face of bullets. _Good men lost their lives for humanity._ What have you done lately?” the Commander shot back.

Garrus quickly realized this was touching a personal chord in the Commander.

“We all serve in our own way, Commander… I’m not a soldier...” the politician was droning on.

Garrus couldn’t help himself.

“Among my people, everyone is a soldier. Even the infirm volunteer to serve behind the front lines.”

The politician looked ashamed; he wouldn’t even look Shepard in the eye. Shepard glanced at Garrus with a nod.

Shepard put the politician in his place, denying him the right to ride his coat-tails to success in the voting box. As they made their way to Flux, Garrus caught Shepard’s attention.

“I didn’t know you felt so strongly about the Relay thr - I mean the First Contact War, Commander.”

“It’s not the war, it’s the stupidity that caused it that bothers me, Garrus.”

Garrus didn’t have to hear any more to know the Commander was done on the subject, so he simply nodded and stepped back to his place on Shepard’s right.

_I hope Anderson has some good news._ Shepard prayed silently.

 


	13. Chapter 10: Ilos

**Chapter 10: Ilos**

Anderson's right hook combined with Maggie's replication program successfully freed the Normandy. Maggie had dubbed the success "Grand-Theft Starship." And, now for the hardest part…waiting.

Mass effect relays allowed for nearly instantaneous access between systems. But, space is mindbogglingly big. Ilos was three jumps away which meant crossing three systems with three relays before hitting the Mu relay. Even at the Normandy's FTL speeds, it still took between 6-12 hours to cross an average system. Compared to the 4 ½ years it took the first deep space astronauts to reach Proxima Centauri - it was a walk in the park.

But, the result was still about two gut-wrenching days of waiting. The ship was running in a hushed intense silence. The crew were speaking in uneasy whispers as if the Citadel fleet were just out of earshot. Shepard tried to keep things calm by maintaining the usual routine as much as possible.

He hit the punching bags with Garrus, Tali and Engineer Adams tried to explain complex stealth technology to him, Wrex was actually eating his meals with the squad, and Ashley continued to wallow in her sadness. The time crawled by and Shepard still had a few things that needed to be done.

"Garrus, what can possibly  _still_  need repairing on the Mako? You've been at that thing non-stop since I brought you on this boat."

Garrus looked up from the engine compartment of the armored tank and huffed out a laugh.

"Always hold something back for emergencies, Shepard. I'm giving her a few extra tweaks. Something tells me we might need to push her to the limits on this run."

"Maybe you're right. Just as long as you get some rest before we hit the relay. I want you on my ground team."

"I'll be ready, Shepard. We still have 10 hours, give or take."

Shepard twitched his fingers around the small data disc in his hand.

"Listen, Garrus. I have a favor to ask."

Garrus blinked at his Commander, stepping around the Mako to face him.

"A favor? I wouldn't know what to do with that, Commander. I just take orders," he joked as he cleaned off his talons on a rag.

Shepard held out the data disc to the Turian.

"If the worst should happen...If I don't make it back, I'd like you to get this to my sister."

Garrus looked down at the disc uncertainly.

"Shepard, if the worst should happen…I'm going to be right there with you. I won't make a promise I can't keep."

Shepard smiled, pushing the disc into the Turian's talon and putting a hand on his armored shoulder.

"Good. Maybe this way you'll work a little harder to make sure it doesn't happen."

Garrus' mandibles twitched as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Shepard...I'm honored… I really am… But..."

"I trust you, Garrus. I know you'll do this for me."

"I… uh… Of course, Shepard. But, it's not going to come to that."

Shepard closed Garrus' talons around the datadisc and turned to walk away, calling over his shoulder with a smirk.

"Of course it's not. There ain't enough ugly on the other side for the both of us, Turkey."

Throughout the conversation, Garrus was acutely aware of another heartbeat lurking just around the corner from the elevator. His visor identified the palpitation as Asari and it was fluttering wildly. He casually moved to his weapons bench in order to get a glance around the corner. After Shepard had disappeared up the elevator, he called out quietly.

"What's on your mind, Liara?"

The Asari's blue crested head peeked around the corner uncertainty, frowning in Garrus' direction.

"How did you…" She began.

"Turian." Garrus responded without looking up from the data disc in his hand. He looked thoughtful as he tucked the disc into the hollow stock of his rifle.

"Oh," Liara muttered as she approached him. "May I speak with you, Garrus?"

"I think I have an opening in my schedule between Dr. Chakwas and Wrex. How can I can help you, Dr. T'soni?"

Liara laughed, but it sounded forced.

"Given the circumstances, I think you can call me Liara."

"Right. So...Liara…Why are you lurking down here instead of following the Commander to his quarters?"

"I… Uhh…"

"We're all looking at a one way trip, Liara. I know the Commander is facing that right now. Hours before facing certain death, it's natural to want to spend it in the arms of a beautiful woman."

"Where's your beautiful woman, Garrus?"

Garrus patted his Mantis sniper rifle affectionately.

Liara laughed. The sound was warm and honest, unlike her previous forced effort.

"Go upstairs, Liara. He's waiting for you."

* * *

Shepard sat at his terminal in his quarters, reading the data Maggie had sent regarding Ilos and the Mu relay. Ilos itself was like the lost city of Troy rumored to be full of ancient Prothean wonders, if anyone could actually find it. Several universities had made attempts at locating the lost planet with no success. He was reading over one of the reports of a failed academic mission and imagining it would be precisely the kind of dull scholarly research that Liara would enjoy. That was the moment his door opened and the young Asari doctor entered.

"Shepard? May I speak with you?"

Shepard stood from his terminal and smiled.

"I was just thinking about you."

"I was just thinking about you, too…" Liara began with a shy smile. She started to describe the mission, she wanted to try and tell Shepard about her feelings and how she wanted to express them physically. But, she was fumbling - unsure and uncertain about how to say what she meant - and Shepard seemed to misinterpret her flailing attempts as a plea for reassurance. Eventually, the flustered Asari had to spell out exactly what she wanted from the socially inept Commander.

"Will you join with me, Shepard? Let our bodies and minds unite."

Shepard beamed. "I thought you'd never ask."

When Shepard looked into her eyes, Liara lost all semblance of decorum. His smile set her body on fire. The young Asari's heart rocketed against her ribcage and a rush of carnal need swept her body. She couldn't resist the desires any longer and threw herself into his arms with wanton abandon.

It was foreign at first, being with an Asari other than the Consort. Sha'ira had been patient, distant and professional. Liara was none of those things. It was strange to think that Liara had never been intimate with anyone before and her eager and ardent kisses caught Shepard unprepared. He wanted to be gentle, receptive and caring. He wanted to show Liara his feelings in a way his words had failed. He wanted to be certain that she would have no regrets. But, his intentions were completely forgotten when the young lithe Asari threw herself upon him.

Her awkward and clumsy kisses nearly smothered him. Yet, he couldn't find the strength to pull away. Her salty, oddly textured, tongue invaded his mouth and her fingers pawed at his back. Shepard mirrored her movements, running his heavy, strong, hands along the Asari's back. The touch of his hands was keen and commanding, a martial precision that made Liara go weak in the knees.

Eventually, they pulled away panting and Liara stepped back to undress. Shepard's head was foggy and his vision blurred. He was unable to breathe during the length of the kiss and the lack of oxygen caused him to teeter on his feet. He watched in fascination as Liara led him to the bed.

With a dancer's grace, she gently rubbed the length of her body against his side. His rough coarse skin a delicious contrast to her own supple blue flesh. She lay him back and crawled with predatory beauty along his side. Shepard rolled with her, flipping her into the bed with another kiss.

She met his gaze and her pupils dilated wide until her eyes filled with darkness. Shepard was prepared this time and he eagerly anticipated the divine union which lurked in that blackness. No words needed to be said - he embraced it _._

* * *

_Mu relay. Check. Sneak past Geth fleet. Check. Impossibly cool dramatic entrance. Check. Thank you, Joker; gold star for that feat. Kill bad guys. Definitely check. He'd lost count after 50. Hack the Geth Armatures and turn them against their own team. Extra style points, Garrus._

Shepard was feeling incredibly optimistic about this suicide mission so far. His adrenaline was pumping and his team was unstoppable. They hacked through the remaining Geth terminals and opened the archive doors to continue the pursuit of Saren. Easy peasy. They'd have that cyborg Turian in chains and they'd be parading him through the Citadel presidium in no time.

Then, the hologram fluttered to life and Shepard's belly turned to ice. 50,000 years old and still terrifying as hell.

"...the citadel….overwhelmed….act of desperation….the conduit….only hope...cannot be stopped...cannot be stopped."

Shepard bit down on the rising panic. His team didn't have the cipher. They didn't understand what the Prothean message had proclaimed. Shepard tried to cover his fears with his commander's confidence as he led his team brazenly onward.

Only Maggie could read Shepard better than Garrus could. Somehow, the Turian sensed the shift in the Commander and countered it with his light-hearted banter. Shepard was grateful for his friend's humor.

"Who votes we take the armored vehicle into the creepy underground bunker?" he jested and was rewarded with smile from Shepard.

The more Shepard learned the worse things looked. The Prothean VI, Vigil, was a wealth of information that he simply didn't have time to fully utilize. The cycle of harvest had been continuing for millenia and the Citadel was actually the galaxy's biggest Trojan horse. Vigil's true victory was identifying a single crack in the Reaper's system of genocide. That tiny data file, a tiny ray of hope. The true legacy of the Protheans.

He set his hard-suit to record, and asked as many questions as he could think of, and kept moving. If there was one thing a soldier feared, it was being pinned down. Movement meant life.

"We don't have time to admire the view. We have to get through that relay… and those Geth aren't going to make it easy on us," Wrex growled

"That's an awful lot of Geth," Garrus observed dryly.

"Yup!" Shepard was grinning like a man possessed.

"Are we gonna…"

"Oh, hell yes!"

"You gotta be kidding me!"

The three warriors crawled out of the wrecked Mako and studied the smoldering ruins of the embattled Citadel around them.

"Glad you held something back for emergencies, Garrus?"

"Next time, I'm driving."

Commander John Shepard smiled at his friends before drawing his rifle.

"Let's go to work, boys."

* * *

"What's the order, Commander? Come in now to save the Ascension or hold back?" Joker asked.

_The Ascension_ …Shepard repeated to himself. It was a good thing that Joker didn't say "the Council." The Commander didn't give two shits about the Council. But, ships. Ships meant more to him.  _The Fuji, The Shasta, The Tokyo, The Leipzig, The Kilimanjaro, The New Delhi, The Normandy_. Ships had far more value. Ships had always meant home.

"Opening the relays now, Joker. We need to save the  _Ascension..._ No matter what the cost!"

A few tense moments passed. Shepard could hear the familiar "whump-crack" of the Normandy's guns through Joker's open channel. He gripped the railing until it creaked.

" _Destiny Ascension_  you are all clear...repeat...you are all clear." Joker's voice crackled.

Shepard exhaled the breath he didn't even realize he was holding. At least he'd done one thing right today.

He glanced down at Saren's corpse in the atrium below.

"Make sure he's dead," The Commander demanded coldly.

Scratch that. Two things done right.

* * *

Shepard only had a few heartbeats to get his feet under him after the initial impact of the flying debris into the Council chambers. The fake Earth of the decorated garden was trembling beneath him. He steadied himself on his feet, looking up at the shadow of hurdling wreckage coming straight towards him. Time slowed and memories greeted him from so long ago….

_Gunship cannons echoed in his ears. The whole ship shaking beneath his feet with the force. He was running through the SSV Leipzig with his sister. He couldn't keep up. She was so small and fast. He followed the glow of her bouncing omni-tool in the darkness._

" _This is the safest place, John! Those raiders won't get us here. Not even with the biggest guns."_

" _But, this isn't where we're supposed to go during combat, Mags!"_

" _Doesn't matter… all construction falls apart the same way. When things fall down, lie down right next to the biggest strongest thing you can find. Then, the mass effect seals will kick in."_

" _Wouldn't it be safer to go under?"_

" _No! Next to it, so when it falls it'll create a pocket. You want to be in the pocket…See?"_

_Maggie was illuminated by the glow of her omni-tool, curled up in a fetal position next to a support beam._

" _We're going to get into trouble..."_

" _Shut-up and lie down, you big jerk!"_

Shepard jerked back to reality. He saw Garrus and Wrex scrambling for cover. They were too far away. The black chunk of Sovereign was tumbling straight for him.

_The biggest strongest thing you can find._ His sister's voice commanded him from memory.

He ran for the edge of the ridiculously pompous stairway and ducked into a baseball slide aiming for the space next to it, in the pocket. He wasn't quite fast enough and his outstretched arm was caught by the edge of the rubble as it fell atop him, encasing him. He could hear his armor crunch, feel his bones break.

Then, everything went mercifully black.

He couldn't tell how long he lay there with his arm slowly dying while still attached. The pain shooting up from the crushed bones within his armor was beyond measure. There was smoke choking his lungs and the small crackling sounds of fires and live electrical wires blurred his senses. He blinked in and out of consciousness.

"Captain Anderson! I found them! They're in here."

Shepard heard the teams coming, he could hear Anderson's voice.

_I killed Saren. I stopped Sovereign. I saved the Council. It's all over now_. He sighed.

The voices were fading. They were leaving. They hadn't found him. If he stayed buried under this rubble, the smoke or the shock would surely kill him.

But, Shepard was so very, very tired. Just lying there, letting his body go limp. It was peaceful. No demands, no pressure, no galaxy to save or lives depending on him. He could just rest, close his eyes, and let it all end in comfortable silence. Then, it wouldn't hurt anymore.

_You think your friends and crew are going to be happy if you give up?_

Shepard winced and shook his head weakly against the ghosts of memory. His sister's voice in his head was insistent.

_You are going to fight for them._

The coughs raked his body as he tried to sit up. Everything hurt and his arm simply wouldn't budge beneath the rubble. He tried to wiggle his fingers experimentally. Nothing moved.

_You will honor them, John Shepard._

Shepard forced his eyes open, picking out the tiniest fluttering light between two overlapping slabs that surrounded him. With grim determination, Shepard set his jaw and wrenched his arm free of the rubble. The pain ran like lightning bolts through his whole body, dumping adrenaline into his system. He tucked the wounded arm against his body and tried to reposition himself, placing the heel of his boots against the smaller slab.

Every movement drew more pain. Every breath caused a stab in his left side, probably a broken rib or three. He kicked at the debris weakly and the tiny light grew. He kicked again, marshalling his strength and putting more force into the strikes, using the pain to urge his weary muscles into motion. Again and again, he kicked until the whole rickety structure groaned and he managed to wriggle himself through the gap he'd created just before the pocket collapsed in behind him.

Shepard lay on his back, panting for a moment. He fumbled at his helmet. The spiderweb of cracks in his visor made it useless anyhow. His head free, Shepard could clearly hear the voices of the rescue team, far off, but still searching for him. Shaking with weary effort, he rolled over and pushed himself to his feet.

Shepard followed the sound as he climbed the debris, coughing. He scrambled over a particularly large piece of rubble. As he reached the crest, he saw his team, Garrus and Wrex, with several C-Sec Officers and Anderson just below. Elation surged through him and he walked towards them like he was sauntering down a garden path on a summer day; grinning manically ear to ear through the pain.

"How's that for style, Garrus?"

Shepard managed the taunt just before his vision tunneled and his legs gave out beneath him. Anderson barely managed to catch him before his head hit the ground.

* * *

Of all the things he'd seen in the past year, Shepard was most satisfied by the look fury on Ambassador Udina's face. They had carted him out of the new Councilor's office so Anderson could begin his first day. That was something he'd treasure forever.

Shepard winced as he dropped himself into a seat, nursing his glass of extremely high quality scotch, pilfered from what used to be Udina's desk. Anderson sat behind it, carefully swirling his own glass of scotch. He noted Shepard's look of pain and frowned.

"How's the arm?"

"Broken. I'll live. How's Udina taking his demotion?"

"He's not a good enemy to have. I'm not sure if you were trying to honor me or curse me with this job, Shepard."

"Just doing my part for humanity, Captain." Shepard said with a laugh, raising his glass in a mock salute to Anderson before leaning back and putting his feet up on the desk.

"Boy, I'd kick your ass up between your ears if you didn't look like hell already."

"Would that be your first official act as Councilor, sir?"

"No. This is."

Anderson tossed a datapad to Shepard who glanced at it with sad smile. Anderson had approved Kaidan for the medal of honor and requested the highest commendations from both the Salarian and Turian governments as well.

"Thank you, sir. Kaidan deserves it..." Shepard paused and took a sip of scotch. "So, are we under arrest, sir?"

"Not yet. The Admirals are sorting it out. They haven't decided if Udina and the Council had the military authority to ground an Alliance vessel in the first place. The lawyers are having a grand old time with it."

"psh… lawyers…" Shepard snorted.

"I'll need you to stay on the Citadel for the next few weeks. There's a lot of questions that need answering. You're a big hero now, Shepard. I'll need you to play the part."

"Normandy still has repairs. Doc said three weeks my arm to heal. I'll be your dancing monkey 'til then."

"One more thing… the Alliance is offering our assistance in the Citadel repairs. We're expecting Alliance teams to assist in search and rescue, repair, security...whatever we can do to help. Show our spirit of cooperation to the Council."

"Awww...come on, Anderson! My crew deserves some R&R!"

"No, Shepard. Your crew is on leave, for now. We're bringing in our best...including the 4th Division Engineer Corps from Eden Prime." Anderson smiled at that, watching Shepard's face break into a grin.

"Hah! You're in for it now. When does she get here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note:
> 
> Drksyders here! Thanks again for all your comments, favorites and follows! It really is so wonderful to know how you all are enjoying this adventure so far!
> 
> Another quick shout out to Roarkshop here. The line "Hours before facing certain death, it's natural to want to spend it in the arms of a beautiful woman." comes from her amazing work Sense and Flexibility. If you haven't read it yet - definitely check it out. It's the only favorite listed on our profile.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I promise more Maggie next week! *waves* Have a great weekend!


	14. Chapter 11: Hearts and Minds

**Chapter 11: Hearts and Minds**

The Citadel docking bays looked like a graveyard. Gone was the healthy hustle and bustle of commerce and travel. Instead, the facilities were empty and still, housing the battered remains of the Council's fleet for repairs and salvage.

Shepard waited in the docking bays, fully armored except for the sling around his arm, absorbing the eerie quiet. The place looked deserted compared to the last time he was here, pushing through a living mass of alien bodies. Since the attack three days prior, all traffic to the Citadel had been suspended, except military and security forces. The "Geth" incursion threw the Council races and the Alliance into action. C-Sec officers and Turian military personnel roamed the Citadel in constant patrols, checking IDs, verifying genetic scans, and performing security screenings at nearly every junction. The Commander was impressed with the results.

 _Maybe we really can get through this,_  Shepard tried to reassure himself.

He was leaning against the planter where Maggie had greeted him over a year before while cursing out a Turian C-Sec Officer. The memory made him smile.

"Now there's a look we don't see very often." Liara's voice cut through his thoughts with a teasing edge.

He suddenly felt the gaze of his friends land upon him and he straightened up quickly, wincing when he moved too fast and disturbed his wounded arm.

"What are you thinking about, Shepard?" Garrus asked.

The Commander felt his smile widen as he looked at his team in the empty docking bay. "I was just remembering the last time I saw my sister….Look, I know you both have other things to be doing. You really don't have to wait here with me."

"Not a chance." Garrus scoffed. "You've made too many enemies to be wandering the Citadel without some extra security."

"I agree," Liara echoed. "I hope we are not unwelcome company."

"No no… it's not that..." Shepard rolled out his unwounded shoulder, trying to avoid Liara's eyes. Everything had tumbled together so quickly after the attacks. He hadn't had time to tell Maggie about his relationship with Liara. He was uneasy about the whole thing. Introducing her to family made it suddenly very serious somehow. And, he didn't even know where to begin to warn Liara about Maggie's…Maggie-ness.

"Liara, my sister is… well..." he was trying to choose his words carefully.

Liara looked up at him with confusion evident on her soft features. Shepard's awkward effort was interrupted when the doors of a nearby docking bay whirred to life. The docking bay opened to reveal an orderly troop of Alliance officers marching into the empty concourse. He straightened and felt Garrus instinctively move to cover his flank. The Alliance teams were armed, fresh from transport, and moving with a steady yet relaxed gait.

That is, until the teams were bodily shoved aside by a skinny, dark-haired, Engineering Staff Sergeant who bolted through the neat ranks, knocking aside everyone and everything in her path.

Her red-streaked hair was tousled from the long journey and hanging in scattered tendrils from a sloppy military bun. Her uniform was disheveled and her huge pack had more wires hanging out of it than a Hanar had tentacles. Her bright red-brown eyes, mirrors to Shepard's own, were darting to and for before finally landing on the Commander.

"JO-JO!" She squealed with unrestrained glee. The ear-to-ear smile that crossed her lips when she spotted her brother was like a small supernova and the angry and rumpled officers had no time to chastise her. She dropped her bags in the middle of the passageway and ran at a full sprint for Shepard.

Shepard grinned and took a few steps forward managing to catch the ecstatic girl with his good arm. He skillfully intercepted Maggie in mid-leap, laughing and swinging her about to absorb the extra momentum.

"Ack!" Shepard huffed as his injured body was jostled at the impact. He struggled for balance while holding Maggie with his uninjured arm. The girl was much shorter than him, but heavier than he remembered. In the simple equation of force, her increased mass was easily overshadowed by energetic acceleration.

She was a flurry of laughter and giggles, squeezing him so hard he heard his armor creak. Shepard gently pried the girl from the embrace, trying to mask his pain, and set her back on her feet. He left his hand on her shoulder and examined her with a fatherly air. Eden Prime had her more tan than he had ever seen her before. She was more muscular, more confident, and practically radiated strength.

 _What a difference a year can make..._ Shepard smiled to himself as he looked his sister up and down with pride.

"Oh it is SOOOOOO good to see you!" Maggie began. Maggie frowned as she looked her brother up and down, taking in his cuts, bruises, battered armor and arm in a sling.

"Jeeze… you look like shit. What'd you do, fight a war or something?" She put a hand on her hip with a lopsided smile, eerily similar to Shepard's own expressions. "No no… wait… more flashy, right? 'Saving the galaxy from imminent destruction' has a better ring to it."

"It's good to see you too, Mags. You look good."

"Compared to you right now, that's not a compliment. Who're your friends?"

Liara was staring wide-eyed and Garrus was huffing in laughter.

Shepard stepped back and began to make introductions. "Maggie, this is Doctor Liara T'soni - she was a member of the team that helped me take down Saren." Shepard had touched Liara lightly at the elbow as he made the introduction and Maggie looked back and forth between Liara and Shepard, a slight quirk to her eyebrow.

"A pleasure to make your acquaint...aaacck!" Liara began to offer a hand with dignified formality and was instantly wrapped up into a hug nearly as fierce as the one Maggie just gave to her brother.

"Great to meet ya,  _Doctor,_ " Maggie purred after the hug. "Oh, if we were Jewish, mom would be so proud," She muttered half to herself, prompting a sputtering cough from her brother. Liara stood stiffly in startled confusion.

Shepard recovered himself and motioned to Garrus.

"And this is…"

"Garrus!" Maggie interrupted excitedly. She disentangled herself from Liara, nearly spinning the poor Asari as she made a jump for Garrus. The Turian anticipated the greeting and had his weapons secured and arms free to catch the hug.

Even so, Maggie nearly tackled the Turian off his feet.

"Solana says hi," Maggie chirped happily, looking up at Garrus from the awkward position of being wrapped around his armor's midriff in her vain attempt to hug him.

"I know," Garrus rumbled. "I got her message"

She blinked up at him. "You're taller in person."

"Uhh… Thanks?"

"You're welcome!" she beamed. Maggie quieted suddenly and nuzzled a bit closer to Garrus' armor, her voice pitched low as she spoke in Turian for only him to hear. " _I'm sorry about your mom being sick. Please know that we're here for you. Anything we can do to help."_

Maggie stepped back and looked up at Garrus with such sympathy and tenderness that his throat clenched around any words he may have had. His mandibles twitched as he tried to swallow.

Garrus had vid-called and messaged with the girl. He had quickly learned about her infectious energy and overly friendly nature. But, the reality of this young woman was something he was entirely unprepared for. He stood there stunned.

Shepard was eyeing Garrus warily and the Turian shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Maggie gave his talon a reassuring squeeze before turning back to her brother, happy-go-lucky nature firmly back in place as if the subtle private exchange had not occurred.

"It's great you can blow up someplace awesome like the Citadel for me to fix. Eden Prime is too damn boring."

"Well.. I didn't do any of the damage…" Shepard chided, unable to keep himself from smiling at her.

"Of course not! You never do the blowing up - it's the bad guys that do that. You are an explosion containment and targeting system."

Liara looked truly aghast now. Garrus was just starring in frozen silence.

"Too soon?" Maggie asked innocently, glancing back and forth between them.

* * *

Together, the Shepard siblings, Liara and Garrus found a relatively undamaged terrace that still had a few intact seats. They settled in and chatted together. Shepard was pleased that Liara and Garrus seemed to warm up to his sister and after an hour they were laughing together like childhood friends.

Throughout the conversation, Shepard's omni-tool was pinging insistently until his wrist was twitching like a school-girl on stims. At a pause in the conversation, he looked at it and sighed.

"I suppose I need to get back to my official duties as galactic poster boy," the hero of the Citadel sighed.

"No worries," Maggie chimed warmly as she stood and slung her pack over her shoulder. It was nearly as big as she was. Shepard tried to ignore the shoulder holster that was visible under her uniform as she moved. "I need to check on my team anyway and find out where they're bunking me on this boat."

"I'll be joining the search and rescue teams until Spectre training resumes." Garrus added. "Let me know how I can help."

Maggie glanced at the Turian with laugh. "I'm sure we could find  _something_  to do with you that will keep you safe from all the clamoring ladies."

Garrus snorted at that while Shepard and Liara laughed. Maggie stepped up to Garrus and touched her omni-tool lightly to his.

"My secure channel..." She offered as an explanation, "...Message me at the wreckage when you're ready to work."

Shepard watched this exchange with amusement. Helping Maggie with her pack before messing up her hair with his good hand.

"Giving out your number already, Mags…. You're getting yourself into trouble."

Maggie tossed her hair and nudged into her brother with a hip.

"Right behind  _you_ , Jo-Jo." The youngest Shepard said her goodbyes and tromped off towards the smoking rubble of the Presidium. She skipped cheerily into the debris like she was strolling through a park on a summer day.

The trio watched her go and Garrus peered at his omni-tool. A new subtask network was available operating on some hidden frequency with a high-security protocol that made C-Sec encryption look like child's play.

"What just happened?" Garrus asked, genuinely baffled.

Shepard laughed and patted Garrus on the shoulder.

"I think she likes you."

* * *

Shepard was trembling, his muscles were aching He watched helplessly as the omni-tool's white hot blade sank again into his unprotected flesh. The burn worked slowly up his leg. It was agonizing torture.

"Watch it!" he growled.

The Volus tailor scuttled around the Commander's feet, omni-tool buzzing over the fabric of the incomplete uniform and muttering grumpily to itself. Shepard looked pleadingly at Anderson.

"Are you sure this is  _really_  necessary, sir?"

He'd been holding this position awkwardly for what felt like forty cycles and it didn't help that Garrus and Liara were snickering at his plight from comfortable seats in the tailor's workshop.

"We've got to put our best foot forward, soldier. Appearances can make a difference." There was an unmistakable edge of laughter to Anderson's voice.

"I think you will look very handsome when the uniform is complete," Liara added in a soothing tone.

Shepard looked at her, offering a smile, but the Volus tailor snapped at him to hold still and he jerked back to his rigid stance of attention.

"It's politics, Shepard. The Council knows you're a Marine, but having you appear in an Alliance uniform might seem a bit too Human-centric for some of the other races. A Spectre dress uniform will make make a good impression with all races and strengthen the Council's position as well."

"I get it, Anderson. I just don't have to like it."

"Chief Williams will be handling the Alliance and Parliamentary meetings to solidify our support back at home. We need you and your team to foster good-will out here. I really appreciate you both helping out in this regard."

The last part, Anderson had addressed to Liara and Garrus.

"I understand the importance of including members of other Council races, Councilor Anderson. It is an honor to assist," Liara intoned seriously with a gracious bow of her head.

Shepard cursed as the tailor burned him again.

"Tali and Wrex were members of my team too, Anderson. I'm  _not_ happy they're being excluded."

"Quarians and Krogans are not looked upon kindly. We're trying to gain support for a unilateral joint-species operation. If they were included, the other races would be uncomfortable."

"All life in the galaxy was nearly destroyed by giant sentient starships who want to harvest us… By all means, we wouldn't want to make a bunch of politicians uncomfortable..." Garrus growled bitterly.

"We'll do whatever it takes."

There was a finality to Anderson's words that immediately silenced any further arguments. The group fell silent, with the exception of the muttering Volus working on Shepard's clothes.

"I think there's a good reason there's never been a Spectre uniform before…." Garrus mused, eventually. "If this is the process it takes, no self-respecting Spectre would subject themselves to this."

" _Thank_  you, Garrus!"

"Good thing you're not self-respecting, Shepard."

"I hate you so much right now…."

* * *

That night, after a long day of good-will scheming, Shepard, Liara, and Garrus met up with Maggie, and the Normandy crew for dinner at "The Digs" where they quickly used Shepard's hero status to get themselves a semi-permanent private room. It was one of the few reasonably priced restaurants still operating that served both levo and dextro food.

Shepard commanded the head of the table with Liara at his left and Garrus at his right. Maggie sat next to Garrus with Tali beside her. Joker and Ashley sat across from her. Wrex was seated at the far end. They gathered to drink, eat, and laugh together, telling stories and reliving the crazier parts of the past year. Maggie was the chief listener to the varying heroics. She fit into the tight-knit crew like a missing piece of the puzzle.

 _Maybe she is just filling the void left by Alenko_ , Shepard mused.

"You should've seen the look on that Krogan's face when Shepard said he was under arrest. It was priceless!" Tali was explaining enthusiastically.

The whole group dissolved into laughter once more.

"Oh… man. If Kaidan hadn't gotten the jump on him with his biotics… that would've been much worse."

Shepard paused, immediately realizing what he had said as a hushed, sad silence moved around the table. Everyone looked down at their already finished meals.

Out of nowhere, Maggie raised her glass and with soft tone she toasted.

"To absent friends."

"To absent friends." The table echoed; Ashley last of all. Shepard caught his sisters eye and gave her a grateful nod.

"So, Joker, I hear you like the new stabilization system on the Normandy…." Maggie cheerfully steered the conversation back to firmer ground and the crew erupted in tech chatter again. Tali and Joker picked up the cue quickly, probing Maggie about her team's role in the Normandy's development.

"If I would've known my brother would command her, I would've hidden some beer for you guys in a bulkhead!" Shepard heard Maggie enthusiastically declare as he stepped away from the table.

He was following after Ashley who had slipped out of the restaurant, but she failed to escape Shepard's keen eye. He caught up to her just outside the restaurant's entrance and called after her.

"Hey, Williams. Hold up there."

She spun to face him. "What's up, Skipper?"

"Just… just making sure you're doing alright. How are you holding up?"

"I'm good. Trying to be better. I have to be worth Kaidan's life."

"I understand. I know it's hard… Look, Ashley, I want you to know, you'll always have a place on the Normandy. You're a good soldier. But, if it's not where you want to be…I'd be happy to give you recommendations for another pos-"

"No! It is, Commander!" Ashley interrupted. She stopped herself and shook her head in frustration, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Commander. The Normandy  _is_ where I want to be. I know I haven't been… disciplined. But I'm dealing, and there's no where else I'd rather serve. You and Kaidan made the Normandy home for me."

Shepard smiled and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Good. So you're ok with...everything?"

"Yeah, Skipper. I'm glad you and T'soni are happy."

Shepard relaxed, exhaling a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"We are...and thank you. I'm really glad you want to stay. Get some rest. Anderson wants us both at the press event early tomorrow."

"Aye Aye, Skipper."

Shepard watched Ashley board a transport and sighed. That conversation went better than he'd thought it would, but he was worried about the Gunnery Chief. He turned and started heading back towards the restaurant and nearly ran face-first into Wrex.

"Ack!" Shepard jumped in surprise. "Jeeze, Wrex!"

"Shepard." The Krogan responded, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

"Any particular reason you're sneaking up on me?"

"You're right to hold onto that one." Wrex ignored the question, nodding towards the direction Ashley had left. "She's a warrior. Fighting next to women gives battles a different flavor."

"Right. Thanks for the input, Wrex."

The two soldiers stared at each other awkwardly for several moments.

"I'm going back to Tuchanka," the Krogan declared flatly.

It took Shepard another few heartbeats to process what he'd heard.

"What?"

"The Krogan have been wasted for long enough. My clan needs me."

"You think they're ready to listen?"

"I'll make them."

Shepard thought about that a moment, then extended his hand.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, Wrex."

Wrex gripped Shepard's forearm fiercely and Shepard gritted his teeth at the force. They looked at one another. It took Shepard another moment to realize the Krogan was smiling.

"Shepard. Come visit me when you're ready for a  _real_  fight."

The sound of the Krogan's laugh echoed in Shepard's head as he headed back into the restaurant.

* * *

One by one, the crew departed until only Garrus, Liara, Shepard and Maggie remained. Shepard half-drunkenly insisted that Garrus should walk Maggie back to the barracks.

"Keep an eye on her for me, Garrus." Shepard commanded firmly, grinning like a cheshire cat. He was leaning heavily on Liara with an arm around her blue shoulders.

"Of course, Commander."

"I can keep an eye on myself well enough, thank you!" the young woman huffed, but accepted Garrus' company none-the-less.

"See you on the other side, kids," Shepard grinned.

Maggie refused to take a direct route or a transport, instead taking nearly an hour to walk the length of the Citadel. As they walked, she asked Garrus questions about his life, his opinions, and his training. She listened in a way that reminded him of Shepard, but with a warmth, humor, and uniquely feminine quality that made Garrus' ego swell at the attention. He genuinely enjoyed the time with her. It was hard to believe that she was, in fact related to Shepard, aside from the obvious similarities in appearance.

"Hey Garrus? I wanted to thank you," Maggie said after a lapse in the conversation.

"Thank me? For what?"

"For watching over my brother. I know you guys went through a lot together. And, it made me feel better knowing you were watching his back."

"I'd follow Shepard through hell if that's where he was going."

"I know...That's why...uhmm...if it's ok with you, I'd like to spend more time together - get to know you better, maybe practice my Turian a bit."

Garrus hesitated, obviously uncertain about this request. "...You don't need me to practice language. There's VIs for that."

"No, but well, I'd like it to be you. I'd like to get close to you." There was a long, awkward pause. "Oh god… that just came out all wrong… ugh… I'm so bad at this."

"What is it your brother says - 'Keep digging, you'll get to 'Chonka'?"

"China. And, you're not helping. Ok… look. I only knew Solana for a couple of years - but she's pretty much my best friend. I message her even more than I message John. And.. well he and you seem like you are really close..." Another awkward pause. "Aww..fuck. Not like that!"

Garrus' shoulders were shaking with restrained laughter.

"Just keep digging…. just keep digging… just keep digging, digging digging…" Maggie sang to herself.

"What was that?"

"Ugh.. Nevermind. But, seriously... There's trust between you and John - I guess we're all just like family now. And, you're the only one I know nothing about. So, I'd like to change that. I'd like for you to trust me too."

Garrus studied her. Her air of confidence and humor had vanished and she seemed exposed, uncertain, and vulnerable.

"Family, huh?"

"Who else is gonna have our backs against the Reapers?"

That solemn note left a heavy weight on them both. Maggie looked away and studied her own feet with a determined intensity. If he didn't know any better, he'd have thought she was scared. Hell, with the Reapers on the way, maybe they both were.

"So, you just want to… talk?"

"Yeah...like hang out. How about we meet for breakfast tomorrow before reporting for SRR duty?"

"Uh… Yeah.. sure."

Garrus' mandibles clicked thoughtfully as he watched Maggie skip jauntily into her barracks. Her heavy combat boots clomped down the stairs and he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

 _She is absolutely nothing like her brother_ , Garrus grinned to himself.  _In all the best ways._


	15. Chapter 12: The Other Shepard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> Drksyders here! I made some edits to this chapter. I think it flows better now - I hope you all think so too! So, apologies to everyone who read the bad version first.

 

**Chapter 12: The Other Shepard**

As the "Hero of the Citadel" became the focal point of a galactic media frenzy, the rest of the  _Normandy_  crew went to work.

Liara became the official "Asari liaison" and personal bodyguard to Shepard. She was also his unofficial publicist, responsible for running public relations interference on Shepard's behalf. Ashley, following Anderson's orders, drummed up support in the Human factions and spearheaded efforts to install a memorial to Lieutenant Alenko near his home in Vancouver. Pressley and Dr. Chakwas tag-teamed the legal fallout from operation "Grand Theft Starship" while Tali, Adams, and Joker oversaw repairs on the  _Normandy._  Wrex had left for his homeworld with hardly a word.

So much for R&R. If it weren't for Shepard's insistence for nightly meals at "The Digs," they never would have seen one another at all.

By process of elimination, Maggie and Garrus took care of… well, everything else. Together they conducted search and rescue efforts on the Citadel, helped make repairs on the  _Normandy_ , and assisted C-Sec with further "Geth" investigations and security. They might as well have been joined at the hip.

At Maggie's insistence, they always made time for breakfast. She was eager to improve her language skills in "Turian" and Garrus was happy to oblige his Commander's sis...no,  _his_ friend.

"I bet she chewed his fringe soft!" Maggie declared in Turian over breakfast one morning. She'd used the lewd phrase in answer to another story about Garrus' early Military years. Like her brother, she had an uncanny way of coaxing personal details from him, things he'd never shared with anyone else.

"Snlurrk!" Garrus wittily replied.

He'd snorted back his laughter and choked on the mouthful of dextro-coffee he had just sipped. He hit himself in the chest and coughed to ensure the liquid didn't choke him as he forced it down. He drew some odd looks from other patrons at the cafe. The mismatched pair were a regular part of the scenery, enjoying another translator-free breakfast together before reporting for duty.

It had become a habit. In fact, they hadn't missed a single morning of "Turian tutoring" since they'd met.

"Spirits, Maggie! Who taught you such vulgar slang? My father would beat the plating off me if he heard me speak like that..."

"Sorry, I learned from the language from  _your_ soldiers," she repeated in mock apology, her subharmonics rolling with amusement.

"Colonials..." Garrus muttered with a hint of disgust.

"Oh, don't you pretend like you homeworlders are so much better..." Maggie said, waggling an accusing piece of breakfast muffin. "Solana took me to a New Year celebration thing where you grew up... You capital folk can be a party just as nasty..."

"Party," Garrus corrected gently. "You conjugated the verb wrong again."

"Bite my plates!" Maggie cursed once more and Garrus laughed heartily. His sides hurt from the effort.

_I can't remember ever laughing so much with anyone_ ,  _not even the Commander,_ Garrus reflected with bittersweet melancholy while Maggie ate. He shook the thoughts away and smiled at her.

"So, tell me about this party … with the  _correct_ verbs."

* * *

Breakfast was a special time for them together; a separate peace in the midst of the chaotic tumble following the Citadel attack. It was a momentary harmony full of stories, laughter, and life.

All that disappeared when it came time to work.

Maggie and Garrus were responsible for two SRR (Search Rescue and Repair) teams. One Alliance unit reported directly to Maggie and Garrus oversaw a multi-racial C-Sec squad. Many areas of the Citadel were a complete wreck after Sovereign's attack - they estimated nearly five years to complete the repairs. Maggie's understanding of communication systems and hardware bordered on the supernatural, and with Garrus' software and security expertise, there was hardly a task they couldn't complete together.

"Sarge! We blowin' the dallies up for the ventilation shafts today?" A young male engineer asked with a strange accent. He bounded cheerfully into the rubble and wrapped his arm casually over Maggie's shoulder as she worked. "You know I love to help ya work on yer... _intake valves_." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively under his helmet.

The youngest Shepard was in her uniform (Alliance Engineering coveralls), with heavy boots and a custom-built omni-tool the likes of which Garrus had never seen before. The insignias of her rank were nearly invisible under the thick layer of dust and grime, as was her face under her breather helmet. Even so, it was an awful familiar gesture between a commanding officer and a subordinate.

"Show some respect, soldier!" Garrus couldn't fight the angry growl that punctuated his sharp reprimand. He was in his full C-Sec armor that was coated with scrapes and dust to match Maggie's coveralls. He opted to go without his helmet, since really, the dust and debris were no worse than Palaven on a windy day. He loomed over the young man menacingly.

The Engineer seemed startled and carefully pulled away from his Sergeant, looking at the Turian with a mixture of shock and indignation. Maggie frowned between the two men.

"Check for keepers first, Ken," she dismissed the Engineer casually then leveled her glare at Garrus.

Maggie's Alliance team was a ragged band of hand-picked, poorly disciplined techno-marvels. Much like Maggie herself, these subordinates shunned authority and protocol. They treated her like a ringleader rather than a commanding officer and she'd been steadily feeding them information about the Reaper threat.

Garrus thought she gave them too much leeway and far too much trust.

Maggie waited until the Engineer had gone before she turned on the Turian.

"My team, my rules." she growled at him, her voice low and hard. She turned back to her work with angry, quick motions, filling her arms with debris and stomping off.

Garrus bent down to help her. "It's disrespectful  _and_  the ranks are there for a reason," he countered, casually picking up a piece of rubble nearly twice the size of Maggie and following her.

"Ooooh no! You do  _not_  get to berate me about my team when all you do is complain about the regs at C-Sec!" Maggie fumed. She dropped the bits of wreckage into a collection bin and side-stepped a keeper going about it's mysterious keeper business.

The Spectre candidate followed suit behind her. With a grunt of effort, he tossed the giant block into the container, sending up another cloud of dust.

"They aren't your team - they're an army!" he shot back.

"Engineers!" She put a hand on her hip and glared through her breather helmet at him.

"They're military forces, and the military cannot survive without the chain of command. You're lucky you aren't facing any significant danger - the lack of discipline would send your  _team_  scurrying at the first shot. You think they'd follow you into a  _real_  battle?"

Maggie's musical laughter interrupted Garrus' rebuke. He frowned down at her as she brushed past him back towards the site.

"You are  _such_ a hypocrite, Garrus! You left C-Sec because the regulations stopped you from getting things done. And now you're a Spectre candidate - outside the law. Look at my teams! They're getting things done! If they had to stop and salute every time I walked by, we'd still be swimming in live electrical wires!"

"Ha! You obviously haven't seen Turians swim…"

Maggie was about to continue the argument when a loud crash erupted from the opposite side of the rubble, punctuated by muffled screams. In unison, Maggie and Garrus turned towards the wreckage, a cloud of dust was wafting over the scene of the cave-in.

Instincts took over and Garrus raced at a full-sprint towards the collapse, drawing his rifle as he moved. He caught a glimpse of motion out of the corner of his eye and Maggie appeared right at his side, her fingers working on her omni-tool. She flashed him a grin before darting off ahead of him. He cursed under his breath and raced to catch up with her.

The small girl hurdled over the wreckage, using stray rubble like launching pads and ducking through cramped spaces without slowing down. She swung through the wreckage with a fluid grace, faster than a pyjack on stims. Garrus growled as he shoved the blocks aside, trying to keep up with her. By the time he caught up, she was already inside the cave-in and panic jumped into his throat.

"Maggie?!"

He started grabbing at loose debris, hauling them aside to try and find her. He heard her angry curses from within.

"Goddammit, Garrus! Stop that! You'll destabilize the pocket even more!"

He froze awkwardly - partially in relief at hearing her voice and uncertainty at what to do next. More teams were arriving to help and he worked with them to stabilize the structure. A few minutes later they pulled apart an opening and Maggie emerged, carrying one of her team.

"It's okay, Gabby…. " Maggie was muttering. "You're okay. Just stay calm..."

Garrus smelled the blood and rushed to her side. It took him a moment to realize it was coming from the girl Maggie was dragging to safety.

"Ken… Ken is still in there!" the bloodied engineer wheezed.

"Garrus! Take her!"

The firm tone of command in Maggie's voice left no room for argument, and Garrus ducked into the debris to scoop the bloodied engineer into his arms. By the time he looked up, Maggie was vanishing deeper into the rubble, her glowing omni-tool darting into the darkness of the cave-in.

Garrus carried Gabby to the medical teams. They assured him it was only a minor scalp wound, but the amount of blood was staggering. After assuring himself the girl was safe, he rushed at a sprint back to the collapse. Garrus felt the ground under his feet shake and arrived just in time to see the remaining wreckage collapse in on itself, sending billowing clouds of dust and small pieces of masonry rocketing out like meteorites.

Ice gripped his belly. Garrus stared in disbelief at the half collapsed building. The entire front had caved in on itself and the rubble had sheeted down leaving no pockets for survivors. A solemn silence fell over the site. The SRR teams of every species stood motionless, staring at the wreckage.

"Was Sarge still in there?" he heard a shivering voice ask.

Garrus' superior hearing made out a faint cough and his eyes were drawn upward to the remaining pieces of the building's upper floors. At the edge of the 4th floor, he saw Maggie's tiny form supporting another man. She was peering over the edge at the pile of debris that had collapsed. Somehow, she had lost her helmet and red-streaked hair tumbled past her shoulders. Only the coughing interrupted her hooting, defiant, laughter. The sound echoed across the site until even the humans could hear it and they erupted into cheers.

"Well, guys, I think we should call it a day - don't you?" Maggie shouted over the din. "Does anyone have a ladder? ...a  _really_  tall ladder?"

_**Now**_ _I see the family resemblance,_ Garrus smiled to himself.

* * *

Among the C-Sec and SRR troopers, it was universally agreed that Maggie and Garrus made a great team.

Maggie was a bundle of laughter, exuberance, and joyous energy. She provided a sharp contrast to the cool, sarcastic Turian. The Human rarely seemed to take anything seriously and was constantly making friends, while Garrus kept a professional distance and focused on his work. People of all species were immediately disarmed by Maggie's gentle and caring manner, punctuated by a sharp wit, quick humor, and an eager willingness to laugh at herself. If they still didn't cooperate, Garrus loomed just behind with a threat or well-placed fist.

On the beat, they were "good cop and bad cop" at it's finest. Outside of work was a different matter entirely.

Garrus was helpless to stop himself from smiling when he spent time alone with Maggie. The more familiar they became, the more he sensed there was far more darkness and anger in the girl than she allowed others to see. It only bubbled to the surface when they were alone or with Shepard.

It was almost as if she wore the light-hearted jovial charm as armor. Her energy, passion, and smiles simply guarded her calculating, brutal, and ruthless mind. Maggie noticed  _everything_  from subtle body language to trace code remnants in hidden files. She disarmed people to probe them for information they didn't even know they had. He saw moments where her determined purpose was as cold and unyielding as her brother's.

And, she  _always_ got her way.

The target of her efforts usually thought her desires were their own idea in the first place. People left a conversation with Maggie smiling and thanking her for the privilege of doing her bidding. She was a devious and manipulative little "pyjack," as Garrus had taken to calling her, using her beauty as a weapon against unsuspecting males. Garrus was becoming disconcerted at how often he had to remind himself that she was not, in fact, a Turian.

It was rare that she outright asked for something and she never displayed much of an interest towards combat. So, Garrus was completely taken by surprise when Maggie had asked him to teach her how to use a sniper rifle.

"Isn't that something your brother should do?" he asked her, puzzled as they lay on their backs together in a tiny crawl space on the  _Normandy_ , her five fingered hands and his three fingered talons working through a tangle of wires.

"But I want to learn how to use a sniper rifle. Not a super-soldier Citadel hero lord and mighty Spectre rifle."

Garrus chuckled, "He could teach you that, too."

"But you're better."

He didn't have to see her to hear the smile in her voice. She was baiting him. Garrus didn't rise to the trap.

"… but he's your brother."

She touched her omni-tool lightly as her fingers deftly worked through the wires.

"No way - really? I thought he was my accountant. Did that fix it, Tali?"

"No. Still no readings," Tali's voice echoed over their comms.

Maggie cursed softly and moved to the next grouping of wires. Garrus moved with her and they worked together in easy silence.

"Did you teach your sister how to shoot?" Maggie asked eventually, propping herself up on an elbow in the enclosed space, peering at him suspiciously.

"Well… no," Garrus admitted, making it a point to look at his work and not the interesting things the posture did to her hips. "My dad taught me. Why don't you ask the Alliance?"

" 'Cause I don't wanna learn from the Alliance - I want to learn from  _you_ ," she accentuated the point by rapping her knuckles on his armor squarely in the chest.

Garrus blinked at that, tilting his head from side to side in what Maggie appreciated as a bird-like movement. She learned early on it was confusion and consideration all in one for the Turians. Garrus ignored her hand which remained on his chest and continued to stare at the wires above his head, though he was not actually working on them.

Maggie sighed. "Look, if you really don't want to - I won't push. But I trust you Garrus. John says you're the best damn sniper he's seen. Oh, don't tell him I told you that. I want to… I don't know… with the Reapers coming…" Her voice became very soft. "..I can't wire comm units or patch sensor relays to defend myself and my team...But we all gotta fight. I want to help too...John can't do this by himself."

Garrus had let his hand fall from his work to cover hers, pinning it against his armored chest. He finally gave in to the impulse to look at her. It was rare to see her drop the charm and her guard. She immediately went quiet and looked into his eyes. He exactly understood her meaning because the same thoughts had crossed his own mind from time to time.

_She didn't want to worry Shepard about her safety, she wanted to be ready, and to stand on her own. She didn't want to be a hindrance to slow him down. She knew she wasn't prepared for what was coming and was determined to help in anyway she could._  The thoughts were clear as day when he looked into her eyes.

"Fine, fine. Buy me chow every now and again and we'll call it even,  _pyjack_ ," he jested turning back to their work.

"Dinner? Oh Garrus, I thought you'd never ask," she quipped playfully, putting the back of her hand to her forehead in an over dramatic swoon.

Garrus sputtered and tried to look at her. "Wait… dinner what?"

"Oh! There's the problem!" she chirped, completely disregarding him. Maggie crawled over-top of the Turian reaching for a different hanging tangle of wires, seemingly unaware that she was straddling his armor and pressed nearly flush against him.

Garrus protested awkwardly and she cursed at him to hold still while she worked. They bickered and elbowed each other for space, their teasing and laughter echoing through the network of crawl spaces between the  _Normandy's_  decks. Tali chuckled to herself in Engineering.

"You two know your comms are still on right?" the Quarian asked innocently.

* * *

" _Suck your back-plates_!" Maggie cursed, in near perfect Turian, whopping in glee as she head shotted another hologram.

She was drawing a lot of looks and guilty smiles from the other Turian C-Sec officers and Spectre candidates at the firing range. She reveled in it, partially to get Garrus' attention and partially because it was fun. Or, perhaps simply because it made him smile in that silly Turian way.

Maggie's shooting had improved dramatically in just three short weeks under Garrus' tutelage. She could sense his profound pride her in accomplishments. The former C-Sec officer and Spectre candidate still seemed to see her as nothing more than a little sister and Maggie was still trying to figure out if she liked it that way or not.

Garrus was certainly growing very protective of her. He'd nearly shot a man with wandering hands on the dance floor in Flux. Maggie suspected her brother might have had something to do with that, though. With the growing threats since Sovereign's attack, her brother probably wanted Garrus keeping a security detail on her. Shepard and Liara were so busy with diplomatic stuff that they only managed to see them at their nightly dinner at "the Digs" and the occasional weekend jaunt to Flux. Shepard was a big goddamn celebrity now with diplomatic engagements, council debriefs, and even autograph signings.

That left him no time to play bodyguard to his brat little sister.

Maggie was mentally kicking herself every time she thought of the Turian as something more than a brotherly friend. It was all too complicated.

Garrus crossed behind her shooting position and leaned close to her, following her line of sight and wrapping his arm around her to adjust the rifle placement against her shoulder. Maggie's breath caught in her throat at his touch.

"Good," he murmured next to her ear. "Now feel the pull. Lead the target..."

_Oh. I feel the pull alright_ … She felt the flush creep up her cheeks, the sound of his voice sending shivers down her spine. She tried to focus.

_Trigger pull.. right…_

She breathed in, held it, and squeezed, like Garrus had taught her, and the target vanished 400 yards down range.

"Scratch one!" He cheered her on.

Garrus watched as Maggie carefully unloaded the Mantis then compressed the rifle into a compact square and stowed it in it's case. She pulled off the targeting visor she'd been using and shook out her hair. Even from across the room, Garrus caught her scent. It was strangely salty, like the sea, and hidden by dust and engine grease. It was as if she felt his gaze and looked up at him. To his embarrassment, Garrus quickly looked away.

Confusion didn't even begin to describe his feelings. The teasing of his fellow Spectre-candidates certainly didn't help either. Shepard had trusted him to look after his sister and now he was finding it harder to  _not_  look at her. She was so different from Shepard and yet, so similar. He felt an instinctive trust and camaraderie with her, like he did with her brother, but she had an untamed wildness and constantly bucked authority. She fascinated him.

_And, she's completely human and off-limits._  Garrus reminded himself. I  _need to head to Chora's Den and blow off some steam._

"Will I see you at The Digs tonight for dinner?" Maggie asked.

_Oh...right… nevermind._

"Of course. It'll be good to see Shepard."

"Can't wait to hear about what they subjected him to today. I wonder if he's doing endorsements yet…"

Garrus chuckled appreciatively at the joke and Maggie tried to hand him back his Mantis in it's case.

"Thanks again for the lesson, Coach."

"You keep it, pyjack. Your brother bought me a better model."

Garrus gently pushed the rifle back into her arms and, by coincidence, his armored talons covered her tiny human hands. Despite the heavy covering of Garrus' gauntlets, Maggie could still feel the heat of his body.

Idly, Maggie recalled Solana's repeated warnings about touch and what a rare occurrence it was for Turians outside of training. Just another reminder about just how different Turians and Humans really were. Garrus glanced down at his hands still touching hers and nearly jumped out of his armor, backing away quickly. Maggie giggled at the Turian's discomfort. It made teasing him all the more fun.

"This one not Spectre-sexy enough for you?"

"I think it's right for your kind of sexy," Garrus paused awkwardly. "Wait… that just went some place horrible…" he tried to amend.

Maggie grinned and couldn't help herself in tormenting the poor Turian. She fluttered her eyelashes at him and pushed out her hip, knowing damn well how Turians liked hips. She put on her most sultry voice.

"Are you saying I'm horribly-sexy? Didn't know you noticed…."

"Ugh… no no… that sounded bad… Maggie I didn't mean…" Garrus fumbled, taking a few steps away from her and holding up his hands defensively. Though, he did find it hard to look away from her hips.

Maggie couldn't keep a straight face any longer and burst into riotous laughter.

"Right, Romeo." She said between huffs of laughter. "Thanks for the  _big gun_ ," she waggled her eyebrows at him and laughed even harder.

"Oh spirits… I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

"Not if I can help it!"


	16. Chapter 13: Two to Tango

**Chapter 13: Two to Tango**

With Saren defeated, the war on ignorance and denial began. Or, as Ashley would come to call it, "Udina's war for righteous Human ass-kissing." The Citadel was a mess in the aftermath of the battle with Sovereign, the  _Normandy_ was in need of desperate repair, and Shepard's arm was snapped in three places from a piece of Sovereign nearly crushing him to death. Even in death, that damn Reaper was a royal pain in the ass.

For four weeks, Shepard suffered endless briefings, reports, press conferences, diplomatic soirees, treaties, compacts, security updates, council meetings, political meet & greets, even autograph signings. It was a flurry of nonsense that the Commander used to try and raise the alarm about the Reapers, without much success.

Despite all of that, he had Anderson, Garrus, Tali, his sister, and especially  _Liara_. Every night the  _Normandy_ crew met for dinner together and every morning he woke up next to the beautiful blue doctor. Despite being a dancing monkey, Shepard would remember those those four weeks on the Citadel as some of the happiest in his life.

The hero of the Citadel was being billeted in a penthouse suite at a Presidium hotel with a giant hole through the middle 15 floors. Maggie's teams hadn't gotten around to fixing it yet, since hotels were considered low-priority facilities. Luckily, the penthouse was on the 60th floor and the elevators still worked, albeit slowly. Liara was staying with him and he dared anyone to challenge him.

They didn't.

It was amazing to Shepard how quickly he adapted into an affectionate domestic life with Liara, and how natural it felt just to be with her. Shepard and Liara were settling down to breakfast when his omni-tool pinged. As usual, he ignored it.

"Shepard…." Liara chided in his ear as her arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind. "You can ignore the messages all you want, but they will still need attending to."

He reached up and clasped her hands with his uninjured one. "After breakfast."

He used his grip on her wrist to pull her across his lap. Liara tumbled into his arms and giggled with delight. Hearing an Asari giggle like a school-girl never lost it's charm. They kissed lightly, affectionately petting and touching each other. Shepard tried to slip his hand beneath Liara's clothing and suddenly his hand was paralyzed, held in place by a fluttering blue corona. Shepard grumbled his protests and nipped at her neck.

"Let's go back to bed," he pleaded.

"We're on a schedule," Liara reminded him gently.

Shepard sighed. "I'm getting sick of this hero gig."

Liara stood casually from Shepard's lap, smirking, and took her seat her across from him. Only when she was out of reach did the light disappear and Shepard regained control of his hand.

Shepard wiggled his fingers experimentally to ensure they were in working order and then picked up a fork. He used the utensil to scratch under the polymer cast that encircled his left arm up to his bicep. Liara, adorable with her proper manners, smoothed her napkin across her lap and continued the conversation as if nothing had interrupted them at all.

"Garrus is concerned about you attending the event this evening. He thinks it's a security risk," the Asari doctor continued casually.

"Probably is," the Commander grumbled absent-mindedly, his attention obviously set on scratching underneath his cast with the eating utensil. Liara was frowning at Shepard's display of bad manners. He looked up at her disapproving expression and quickly set the fork down. With a guilty smile, he held out the immobilized arm.

"Would you be so kind?" Shepard asked with his best suave posturing.

Liara smiled, and with the smallest biotic flare around a blue finger she pointed up and down his arm, using a tiny mass effect field to scratch his itches beneath the cast. Shepard groaned happily.

"Remind me again...What is this event tonight?"

"The opening of Humanity's Council Offices - your species' first official diplomatic function as a member of the Council."

"Oh. Right. The fancy shindig."

Liara laughed. "Yes, the fancy shindig, as you say. Anderson, Pressly, and Ashley will be there. I believe the entire Alliance crew of the  _Normandy_ is invited."

"What about Tali?"

"Reporting to the Admiralty, I believe."

"That much firepower on the guest list, and Garrus is worried about security?"

"He is. Something about unidentified chatter. A former comrade of his in C-Sec warned him."

"You think we can get him into the event armed? I'm sure combat armor is considered a full-dress uniform for Turians." Shepard mused with a smile.

Liara grinned. "With ceremonial weapons as items of extreme cultural importance…"

* * *

Shepard was surprised that he was actually enjoying himself at the "fancy shindig." With Liara at his side, free high quality booze and fancy delicious bites of real non-syntho food passed about on plates, it was hard  _not_ to enjoy himself. He didn't even mind the stiffness of his new Spectre dress uniform. The hundreds of guests in the fanciest formal attire made for an amazing spectacle to watch and most his crew were in attendance, so conversation never got dull.

Despite a month of steady public relations events, Shepard still wasn't accustomed to his celebrity status. The other guests were obviously intimidated by him. Aside from a few autograph or holo requests, the rich and powerful representatives of humanity mostly left him alone. He liked it that way. Shepard had never quite mastered the art of socializing with civilians outside of missions.

Yet, with Liara's help, he managed. Shepard reveled in the warm sense of pride at having the beautiful Asari on his arm publicly. And, she was simply stunning tonight in a slinky gown and sparkling borrowed jewels. Shepard had barely noticed the hours pass.

Garrus, on the other hand, seemed incredibly uncomfortable, his bright avian eyes scanning every corner and every face. Movement. People. Noise. Lights. Decorations. Food smells. Music. Dancing. It was all thoroughly overwhelming and all potential threats. A friend at C-Sec had warned him of some strange signals they were picking up - they believed it might be a threat to the Human Councilor or the Human Spectre. But, with no solid proof, C-Sec couldn't actively get involved. Shepard had managed to get Garrus into the event fully armored and armed to the teeth. Even so, the Turian felt naked and vulnerable in this completely foreign environment.

"Lighten up, Garrus. Get a drink." Shepard teased his friend.

"I need to stay sharp."

"Come on… look, even Ashley is dancing! With Pressly! Ha!"

Garrus followed the Commander's gaze to the display and sighed.

"That's … just … horrible. Even more reason not to drink."

"Suit yourself, grumpy." Shepard laughed and tugged Liara out onto the dance floor.

Garrus crossed his arms and leaned back against a wall, watching Shepard enjoy himself. "I'm not grumpy…" the Turian muttered darkly to himself.

Garrus' eyes scanned the crowd, always watching Shepard's back. Eventually, he noticed a man watching Shepard closely. The strange Human had long black hair and slanted eyes and moved like a predator, circling the dance floor, never holding still in the crowd. Garrus was watching him suspiciously when his eyes landed on a familiar, yet unfamiliar face.

The crowd shifted and Garrus saw Maggie, standing alone at the entrance. Her dark eyes scanned through the crowd like his did, like a predator. Her long red-streaked hair was piled on top of her head in elegant curls and she had some kind of face paint that accentuated the shape of her eyes and the curve of her lips. The short and serpentine black dress she wore was low-cut and pinned together with a metal fastening over her collarbone. The thin straps accentuated the narrow curve between her neck and shoulder and the smooth unmarked flesh drew Garrus' eye. She had strange shoes with elevated heels, making her exposed legs and hips move with the preternatural digitigrade grace of a hunting Turian and suddenly Garrus' armor felt a bit too tight.

Garrus had spent every day of the past month with the girl in military fatigues and engineering coveralls and it took him a few moments to recognize her. When he did, he forced his sharp avian eyes away in embarrassment at his own temptation.

"MAGGIE!" Shepard called boisterously from the dance floor and within a moment she was teetering into the mix of Normandy crew. "You're late as always."

"Fashionably late," Maggie corrected.

"You look beautiful," Liara added and the two hugged.

"Thank you, Liara. You are radiant yourself. Who knew you had a figure under that science get-up you wear."

Liara seemed to flush a deeper shade of blue. Maggie couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or the compliments. "Where's Anderson?" she asked.

Shepard swung his arm drunkenly to point in the wrong direction and Maggie followed his finger. She found Garrus blatantly staring at her from across the room. She offered him a shy smile and lifted her hand meekly in greeting. Garrus nodded to her. Maggie tried to ignore the flutters in her tummy from the Turian's steady gaze.

"Not Garrus. I need to talk to Anderson."

"You need to get a drink, Mags!" Shepard shot back, nearly spilling his own.

Maggie laughed. "I'll do that too."

Garrus watched the youngest Shepard thread her way off the dance floor and into the crowd. He noted how many human heads turned to follow her as she passed, even some of the non-human ones. He never had a thing for humans; so he couldn't say if she was meeting their odd standard of beauty, but there was something about her that appealed to his instincts that night.

She used her curves, her smiles, and her body language like weapons as she maneuvered through the party. Garrus was fascinated to see a whole new battlefield unfold.

Then predator met predator, and he found himself growling.

Maggie worked the room carefully, reading the faces and movements of the guests, seeking out her target. Early that evening, she'd uncovered a scrambled transmission in the Citadel channels. She hadn't found out much, but she knew there was a Cerberus Operative at this event tonight. The voice was decidedly male; but the content, goals, or identity of the spy were coded. She especially prided herself on her ability to infiltrate any system. This one had caught onto her listening in and disconnected. It was disturbing. It rankled her pride that she couldn't figure it out.

So she chatted up every male she could get near to listen for similarities in their voice. Maggie knew this was out of her depth. She really needed to find Anderson and report her findings. Instead, she bumped face first into a handsome long-haired Asian man. His eyes were boring into her. She used her most disarming smile.

"Oh. Pardon me. I must've had a little too much to drink tonight."

"Liar. You've only just arrived."

Maggie blinked at that. The voice was silk and daggers and she recognized it immediately. Her instincts screamed to fight or run. Instead, she looked the man up and down and kept her flirtatious coy smile.

"Mmmm… and how would you know something like that?"

"A creature as beautiful as you? I would remember if you were here earlier."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Maggie purred, trying to keep her terror out of her voice. "I take it you're enjoying the party. Are you here with someone?"

"I am now. Care to dance?"

Before Maggie could protest, she was swept onto the dance floor by a grace and strength that, if she hadn't been scared for her life, could have easily made her swoon. Her eyes scanned the crowd for Anderson, her brother, Ashley, anybody. All she found was Garrus, standing out in his blue armor on the edge of the crowd, looking menacing and armed. His piercing eyes were following her with a fearsome and focused intensity. It was the most comforting thing she could imagine.

The man was an amazing dancer and he made her mediocre practice at the art look stylish. Maggie barely recognized the beat of a tango and simply allowed the Operative to lead on as she moved her body with his. "It's nice to to see a bit of diversity in the Council world for once," she said as they danced. "Chinese?"

"Yes. Filipino?"

"Half."

"Ah… lovely." His fingers pressed almost painfully into her hipbone as he guided her through the dance steps with practiced ease. "The best of humanity lies in our diversity."

_Crreeeeeeeeepy._  Maggie thought to herself, but kept her smile firmly in place. "So, what brings a handsome man like you to the Citadel?"

"Business. Always business."

"And, what kind of business do you do… Mr…?"

"Is that the kind of game we're playing now,  _Officer_ Shepard?" the man asked mildly.

_Yipe._ "Shall I just call you Cerberus lapdog then?" Maggie retorted cooly.

"If you like." He seemed to sigh as he spun her and then side-stepped with her, forcing her leg to wrap enticingly around his. She couldn't help but feel the steel of a weapon hidden there.

_Oh God, I hope that's a weapon._

Fear coiled inside her. "You are one wrong move away from a bullet between the eyes," she threatened quietly.

"I promise you, I wish no harm to you or yours….tonight. I am merely observing this evening."

He punctuated this by spinning Maggie into a low dip, his face pressed awkwardly close to her cleavage. Maggie thought she could hear a growl from across the room. The Operative pulled her upright once again and the music quickened, or maybe that was just her pounding heart.

" And I never make a wrong move," he said, smirking.

"What exactly are you  _observing_  then?" she stammered out, trying to keep her voice level.

"The ascension of humanity."

"Well, that's not cryptic… not at all."

"I'm concerned about you eavesdropping this morning," the Operative said, his voice returning to a conversational tone. "How much do you know?"

"Enough to have this dance with you."

"I see. And, how did you manage to crack our encryptions, I wonder?"

"A lady never tells."

"Perhaps an operative would then."

"What exactly are you implying?"

"Don't be coy," the Operative said. "We've been watching you and your brother. You don't play nice with the Alliance like he does. You're skilled, dedicated, and you know what's at stake. We'd give you all the perks, plenty of resources, complete autonomy and no regs to fight through. No red tape and the freedom to really go after the Reapers. Work for us and Humanity will be stronger for it."

"Hmm… How do I put this nicely?" Maggie smiled. "How about, 'Fuck you and the fanatical terrorist horse you rode in on.' I know what you did on Akuze. You nearly killed my  _brother._  I'd rather cut out my own spleen with a dull spoon than work for Cerberus."

"Colorful. I think you've made your point. Such a pity. If you ever change your mind, I'm sure you'll find a way to find us."

There was something in his tone that made terror shoot down Maggie's spine. She spotted Garrus moving towards them in the crowd - her eyes locked on his, silently pleading for help. The operative must have sensed Garrus' approach because with a spinning flourish he released her as the music ceased. He still held her hand threateningly.

"It's been a pleasure, Miss Shepard. Thank you for the dance."

He lowered himself over her hand with a charming smile and placed a kiss on her knuckle, before disappearing into the crowd. Maggie was trembling so hard she couldn't move.

Garrus appeared at her side a heartbeat later. His growl punctuated his presence. "Is everything ok?" he hissed, three octaves lower than his usual speaking voice.

She inched closer to him until she felt the reassuring coolness of his armor against her back.

"I...I...really need that drink."

* * *

 

Maggie was still shaking as she sipped her gin and tonic in the private council offices with Anderson, Garrus, and her brother. Shepard was nursing a cup of coffee. Maggie had refused to let the Turian leave her sight. The music and the noise of the party could faintly be heard through the walls.

"Are you sure he was with Cerberus?" Anderson repeated for the umtpeenth time.

"He admitted as much. His voice matched the communique I heard."

"And it confirms what the teams at C-Sec found." Garrus added somberly.

Shepard let loose a stream of curses that made even Anderson blush.

"This changes things. Shepard, we need to get you and your team off the Citadel."

"I'll need to check on the Normandy's repairs."

"Then see to it. The Council has an assignment for you. I was in conference with them for most of the event this evening."

"Do you think that was intended? To keep you occupied and out of the way?" Garrus asked.

"I'm not ruling anything out at this point," Anderson responded gravely. "Officer Vakarian, can you ensure that Maggie gets back to her barracks safely? I need to discuss the Council's assignment with the Commander."

"Of course, Councilor."

Maggie downed the last of her drink and stood. Shepard mimicked her movements. With that uncanny understanding, they stepped into each other's arms, hugging fiercely.

"I'm so sorry, Mags. If anything happened to you..." he left the sentence hanging, unable to finish the thought. Instead, Shepard kissed the top of her head.

"I'm fine. Don't worry. Kinda flattered actually. And it's not every day I get to tell a bastard like that 'fuck you' to his face."

That prompted a laugh from Shepard, who lingered a moment, smiling down at her. "You looked really pretty tonight."

"You too!" she teased.

"Love ya, brat. I'll message you when I know more."

"Love ya too, Jo-Jo."

She turned to Garrus and started heading towards the door. Shepard caught Garrus' arm before he could leave. "Keep her safe."

"Understood, Commander."

"See you on the other side."

* * *

Maggie insisted on walking back to the barracks, declaring that she needed to clear her head. So, she and Garrus walked together in companionable silence. Each lost in their own thoughts. Garrus had never known the girl to be quiet for such a long stretch and it made him worry. He snuck glances at her out of the corner of his eye, every time surprised him. It still caught him off guard to see her dressed up and "pretty."

Eventually, they were passing along the diplomatic section of the presidium and Maggie veered towards the water suddenly. She stepped out of her heels and gathered them in one finger before hurdling the railing. She trotted over to a small alcove under a strange tree near the water where she sat down and slipped her toes into the liquid. Garrus followed her, watching curiously.

"We should keep moving," he warned. "The operative might come back for you."

"He won't."

"How do you know?"

"He said so."

Garrus scoffed, but knew better than to argue with her. He sat down next to her, facing the opposite way to watch her six while she stared unfocused at her feet in the water. "You believe the word of a Cerberus operative?"

The mention of "Cerberus" seemed to send a shudder through her and she inched closer to him until she could feel his cool reassuring armor against her side. "As strange as it sounds, he was a believer - it definitely seemed like he held himself to some kind of code."

Garrus caught himself growling again. "Are you a fan now?"

"Absolutely not. I would have rather have danced with you." She offered him a playful smile.

He couldn't help but smile back, in his own Turian way. Her smile faded suddenly and her eyes turned back to the water and he turned to keep watching the pathways.

"Actually, it was really scary…" she added in a small voice. "The way he talked about Humanity like he was judging us. He knew I was Filipino, it was just… disconcerting."

"Filipino? What does that mean?"

"Oh.. that's gonna be hard to explain. it's a human thing."

"Please try."

"Ok… well.. you know how different Turians are different colors? Like you're silvery, some are brown, red, or even greenish."

"Of course, it comes from our different colony environments."

"Well, humans are like that too - based on where on earth our families came from. Folks with family from Africa originally, like Anderson, are darker… and Europe, like Udina, are lighter. Our dad, he's from a place called the Philippines.. but our mom isn't. So we're kinda mixed, most everyone is pretty mixed now, but we're still Filipino."

"And he knew that? About your father?" The rising panic and aggressively protective subvocals to Garrus' words made Maggie drop her eyes awkwardly.

"I guess." She suddenly looked very sad.

"Shepard never talks about your father. It seems to hurt you both a lot."

"It's not something we talk about. It's much worse for John, he at least remembers Dad the way he used to be. I never did. It was worst of all for mom. She's only visited him once."

"So, he's alive then?"

Maggie swallowed hard and rested her cheek on the armored shoulder next to her. Garrus could feel her warm breath on the back of neck. His talons involuntarily dug into the artificial grass between them.

"If you can call it that. Dad took a piece of shrapnel to the head during the First Contact war…" She paused and amended "… the Relay 314 incident. There was severe brain damage. He's in a military care facility back on earth."

Garrus turned his head to look at her, his mandibles flared in absolute shock. She didn't look at him, her gaze remained focused on the water.

"I.. I had no idea," he stammered.

"Why would you? John was three at the time. I was just born. All these years, Dad can still barely speak. He doesn't know who John and I are - we try to visit him every few years. Mom can't bring herself to do it. I think she blames me for not her being there with him when it happened. Alliance won't let new mothers on active duty."

Garrus shook his head in disbelief.

"I can't even imagine what that must be like...growing up like that. Wouldn't you hate us? Turians, I mean."

"I was too young - it never really occured to me to hate anyone for it. It just was. John took it very differently. I remember once, I must've been 5 years old, I called some kid a 'Skull-face'..."

Garrus winced at the term - a derogatory slang humans used to refer to Turians.

"...John got so angry with me. He said that stuff like that was why the war started in the first place. He said people like that were a disgrace to all of us..."

_He's a traitor to the Council and a disgrace to my people…_

Garrus remembered his own words when he first met Shepard in the Med-lab over a year before; so unknowingly similar to the Commander's own beliefs. Spirits, how much he had changed since then; but, he would've said the same thing again.

"... I never said it again." Maggie added thoughtfully.

Garrus rumbled a quiet accent, still lost in his thoughts. They sat quietly like that together for a long time.

"Welp… I guess I should be getting back… The Citadel won't fix itself...though those keepers are making eerie progress."

She stood and stretched, reaching her arms above her head. Garrus couldn't help but be intrigued by her movements, watching her appreciatively. She offered a hand to help him up and he refused it. She tried to haul him up by the arm anyway just as he was pushing himself to standing. In the awkward confusion, their foreheads brushed together and Garrus immediately tried to pull away, sending himself tumbling back on his ass again in the process.

_Did they just…. it was an accident right? Did she even know what that meant to Turians?_

Maggie laughed at him heartily, a bright pink highlighting her cheeks. Garrus guessed she knew exactly what had thrown him off-balance. He tried to recover himself, standing to his feet and brushing himself off. He cleared his throat, trying to salvage some of his dignity.

Maggie wandered over to collect her shoes and put a hand on his forearm to steady herself as she slipped back into them. After she finished with her shoes she looked up at him. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief and silent laughter. Garrus checked the involuntary growl bubbling in his chest and looked away.

"It's getting late…" he muttered uncomfortably.

Maggie stepped past him and Garrus did his best to avoid looking at her the entire way back to her barracks.

"Thanks for walking me back," she offered softly when they had arrived. She turned to face him, but they both kept their eyes on the ground. Maggie grasped at her elbow behind her back, rubbing one foot against the exposed calf of her opposite leg.

"Of course." Garrus answered without looking up, kicking an invisible pebble along the ground.

Without warning, Maggie stood on her tip toes and placed her lips to the side of his mandible, just below his colony markings. She remained there for only a heartbeat before pulling away.

"Goodnight." She chimed and disappeared quickly inside.

Garrus stared at the doors as they closed behind her and put a talon to the spot where she had… what was the Human word?... kissed him. It was a simple human gesture. He'd seen other humans do it before. She was just saying goodnight. She was threatened by Cerberus, her brother was leaving, she was just upset. It didn't mean anything.

But, even with all those rationalizations, he couldn't explain why his heart was still fluttering wildly.


	17. Chapter 14: Goodbyes

**Chapter 14: Goodbyes**

"Finish your Spectre training quick, Garrus. The Mako needs a lot of repair." Commander Shepard punctuated the jest by dropping his arm heavily across the Turian's shoulders as they walked down the C-Sec docks towards the waiting  _Normandy._

The Spectre still didn't notice how Garrus jumped at this touch. Instead, Shepard's dark eyes studied his ship with the precision and affection that only her Captain could manage. Judging by the glow of the engines and the hiss of the seals, she was ready to leave.

_I'm not sure how much longer I can stall for her_ , Shepard thought darkly.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Tali squirmed her way between him and Garrus, interrupting their goodbyes by hugging Garrus fiercely around the midsection his armor.

"I will miss you, too!" The Quarian declared. "No one else can eat my food without nearly dying."

"Hey! I wasn't even close to death," Shepard protested with a laugh.

Garrus returned Tali's hug in spite of the odd Turian behaviors around touch, and together they teased the Commander about reading the labels on things before he drank them. Liara appeared to say her farewells then disappeared into the  _Normandy_  with Ashley and Pressley following just as quickly. The Human crew were gradually boarding the ship as well.

It was past time to go.

The Commander was lingering, scratching at his arm freshly free of it's cast and looking anxiously towards the elevator. His armor felt oddly heavy after so much down-time without it. Shepard extended his hand to Garrus.

"There'll always be a place for you here on the  _Normandy_ , Garrus. Spectre or not."

The friends clasped each other's armored forearms and smiled at knowingly at one another.

"I'll keep that in mind, Shepard. But, imagine how much  _more_  trouble we could get in with two Spectres on board."

They chuckled and fell into that awkward quiet that always comes from goodbyes.

"Did you see Maggie today?" Shepard asked uneasily.

"Not since last night."

Shepard frowned. He was still agitated about leaving when Cerberus had made such a brazen move on his sister.

"You'll keep her out of trouble while I'm gone?"

"I can't promise  _that_ , Shepard. But, she'll be safe."

Shepard grinned and patted Garrus on the shoulder.

"Couldn't ask any more from ya, buzzard."

As if on cue, the elevator doors opened and Maggie came out running. She was back in her engineering coveralls, covered in dust, and carrying a small datadisc in one hand. She sprinted down the gangway and they could hear her apologizing all the way.

"Sorry… sorry! I'm so glad you didn't leave, yet."

"Late as always, Mags."

"Time is a fluid construct," she huffed and held out the disc proudly.

"What's this?"

"Something to keep you busy while you're saving the galaxy…..again."

Shepard took the disc and peered at the label.

"The complete Clint Eastwood collection? Awww… Mags… you shouldn't have."

"Can't let you get bored… you might shoot something you shouldn't…." Maggie grinned mischieviously. "Though…with Liara around, I don't imagine you'll get bored very often."

Shepard actually blushed. "Come 'ere you rascal," he laughed and pulled Maggie into a playful chokehold. He rubbed the knuckles of his other hand into her head. Maggie squealed with giggles and flailed in half-hearted efforts to escape.

"Alright, alright. Break it up you two. You're giving me diabetes from all this sweetness." Joker's calls over the Normandy's PA system forced them to part, still laughing. Maggie gave Tali and her brother a last round of hugs before they parted.

"Take good care of my girl, Tali!" Maggie called after them waving. "Oh yeah, and my brother too!"

She oozed merriment and grins until the moment the airlock sealed. Then, she fell suddenly quiet and worry-lines replaced the smiles on her face. Garrus and Maggie stood side-by-side watching the  _Normandy_ disappear amongst the stars.

Garrus tried not to look at Maggie, but she inched closer and slipped her small hand into his gloved talons.

"He'll be ok, right?" she asked softly.

"He'll be fine." Garrus reassured her.

* * *

Four days later, Councilor Anderson swallowed the lump in his throat as he read the reports on the destruction of the  _Normandy_. His eyes focused on the sentence "Commander Shepard is presumed dead upon reentry."

_He died in space. What are the odds?_ The former Captain wondered in disbelief.

**19 years ago...**

John Shepard chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully as he slowly chicken-pecked the buttons of the console in front of him. He was 10 years old and already big for his age. He sat cramped in the tiny desk among a row of bunks on the  _SSV Leipzig_. He didn't mind the small spaces; it was the only thing he knew. He stared at the screen with intense concentration when his sister's voice came echoing from between bunks.

"John! Joooohn.. John..JO-JO!" she squeaked as she ran. Maggie hugged a mobile terminal port to her chest while running the length of the crew quarters. Her shouts prompted grumbling from the crew who were trying to grab some precious sleep.

To their teachers, the siblings were a study in contrasts. John was the tallest in his class, silent, obedient, and serious. Other children gravitated to him immediately and competed for his admiration. His seven year old sister was boisterous, rebellious, and tiny. Her independent streak tended to isolate her from other children and she was rarely seen without a computer interface nearby.

"What, what, what, WHAAAAAAT?!" the boy responded, imitating her tone.

"Hi!" She greeted him with a smile and pulled at his shirt insistently. "I wanna show you something."

Young John sighed and turned back to his homework. "You were supposed to be back hours ago and you never arrived at your PT class. You're not going anywhere."

"But… but.. but.. it's important."

"I gotta finish this book report by tomorrow - and you have homework, too."

She pouted up at him. "But… but…"

"No," he said flatly. "Mom is on rotation another 12 hours. If you want to see her before class tomorrow, we have to finish everything before bed."

"But… it's REEEEEEALLY important. I promise I'll do all my work and I'll even do chores!"

John eyed her suspiciously. "Without complaining?"

She nodded eagerly and looked up at him with wide, begging, puppy dog eyes.

"Fine," he sighed. "Real fast, ok?"

"OK!" The young girl beamed in victory.

She led him by the hand through the twisting corridors of the active duty Alliance vessel. Maggie was small for her age and John had to hunch over for her to maintain her grip on his fingers. Most of the personnel eyed them suspiciously as they passed, knowing the children were not were supposed to be in these parts of the ship, but said nothing. Others greeted them with smiles and a few knew them by name.

Eventually, John found himself against the starboard hull and his sister was shoving him insistently into an emergency life pod she had "found" open.

"I dunno about this, Mags," he hesitated peering through the narrow entry.

"It's just inside!" She insisted and John had to admit he could see something out of place through the dim light.

The small girl pushed him again and he relented, climbing through the narrow tube-like entrance into the emergency escape pod and she scrambled quickly in behind him.

"Maggie, what  _is_ this?"

The pod had been filled with food, games, and her few precious model ships. Two sleeping bags and a small jug of water were strewn through the middle. He turned around just as she plugged her tiny terminal into the panel near the entrance. She bent over the holo-display and the door sealed behind them.

* * *

"Uhhh… XO Anderson, sir?" a nervous corporal asked.

"What is it, Zabaleta?" Anderson responded, looking up from the frigate's navigation controls.

"We have unauthorized activity in Life Pod 82, sir."

"How?"

"The controls are being overridden, it's preparing for launch, sir."

"Shut it down!"

"Yes, sir. It's, uhmm… not responding, sir."

"Get me Engineering." Anderson commanded.

* * *

Anderson pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"Would you care to explain to me how an eight year-old has outwitted some of the best minds in the Alliance and locked them out of the life pod control system?"

"I'm SEVEN!" came Maggie's angry response from the intercom on the wall.

Life pod 82 had become a flurry of activity in just a few hours. The engineering team had managed to prevent the pod from actually ejecting; but they were still unable to get access most of the system. Currently, XO Anderson and six other officers and engineers hovered around the entrance of the pod, looking baffled.

"memfma lwemf mmmfhfle" said the intercom.

"Didn't read you there," Anderson grumbled.

There was a rustling noise and John Shepard's young voice came from the intercom.

"I'm sorry, sir. She's trying to… " There was a flurry of muffled noises that sounded like a struggle and Maggie's voice was nearly screaming.

"NOOOOOOOOO! You have to keep the breather on or space will kill you!"

"What in the blazes is going on in there? Get me a visual."

An Engineer offered his wrist to Anderson who studied the omni-tool display. The two children were wrestling with each other. The small girl was trying to hold a breathing helmet on her brother's head, despite the fact that the helmet wasn't attached to a suit or life support system. The small pod was filled with food, sleeping bags, and games. Anderson realized immediately this wasn't an accident.

"Maggie. This is Navigator Anderson - were you trying to run away?"

The roughhousing immediately stopped and he saw a small, worried face look towards the intercom through the holo-display.

"No, sir," came her meek voice. "I just… I just...don't want John to die."

The engineers and officers shared a glance with one another.

"Maggie, honey. Why do you think your brother is going to die?"

On the display, the small girl slumped onto the sleeping bag next to her brother, sniffling. John pulled off the breather helmet and looked at her with a troubled expression. The two sat down with their backs against the wall, legs stretched out side by side. John put his arm around his sister. They heard his young voice encourage her gently.

"Go on, Mags. Tell him."

"Henry said that John was going to die in space. He was going to suffocate and then burn up in the atmosphere," her small voice quavered.

"Henry?" Anderson asked.

"Logan's boy. The biotic trainee…" an Engineer offered.

Maggie's insistent voice cut in. "Henry has super-powers! He said he  _SAW_  John die in space. Henry sees stuff that's true all the time. I was just going to take John to a planet so he'd be safe… He's my only...my only...friend." At this point, the girl couldn't go on. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

"I'll always be your friend… I'm your brother." The adults could hear John's voice comforting her. "And, I'm not going to die."

"BUT HE SAW IT!" the girl wailed.

The whole team could hear her hiccuping sobs through the intercom. The group of adults had gathered around the holo display to watch the children. Some of the Engineers looked teary eyed.

"Maggie…" Anderson began, watching the scene on the small holo display. "You and your brother are on my ship - you are part of my crew and my responsibility. Do you understand that?"

The fuzzy holo-image of Maggie nodded, rubbing at her eyes.

"So, you understand that I will protect you and take care of you at all costs. I would die before I let anything happen to your brother." There was steel in Anderson's voice and on the screen, a young John Shepard looked up at the intercom, wide-eyed.

"I give you my word that I will do everything in my power to protect you both; just like I would for all my crew. I won't let anything happen to your brother."

A set of puffy tear-streaked cheeks looked towards her brother's serious and contemplative gaze. John nodded and gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze.

"But," Anderson's steady voice took on a serious tone. "I can't do that if you keep the door locked. You  _both_ have to come out of there."

A long moment passed - the adults were collectively held their breath.

"...ok." The girl said at last.

The assembled team watched the screen as the small girl teetered unsteadily over to her tiny school terminal. It was attached with a few wires to the access panel on the inside of the pod. She tapped the input with startling speed and, in twenty seconds, the door popped open.

The two children crawled out of the pod. Maggie emerged first and stood in the center of the gawking adults awkwardly before she spotted Anderson and ran to him, hugging him about the leg. Anderson patted her back softly as a defeated John, shoulders slumped and head down, approached just behind her.

"I'm sorry, sir," John said quietly. "It's my fault. I never should have let her…"

"No, son. It's my fault. You're my crew, remember? My responsibility."

The young boy blinked up at Anderson in awe. "Sir… I… yes, sir."

"When you lead your own men, John. I expect you to do the same. It's the most important thing you can do as an officer."

"Yes, sir!" The boy's chest swelled with pride

"A..aaanderson?" Maggie's small voice at his thigh asked softly.

"Yes?"

"Do I have to go to class tomorrow? I don't wanna see Henry."

"No." Anderson said seriously, looking up at the small team of officers and engineers.

"Tomorrow morning, Maggie, I want you to report to Engineering where you will teach these men and women how you over-rode our  _emergency life pod system._ " He emphasized the last part sternly and the engineers all dropped their heads, looking ashamed.

"Oh oh! Can I play with the Thanix cannon too?"

"What? NO! How do you even know about that? It's a top-secret prototype."

Maggie was grinning ear to ear and asked hopefully, "No class on Thursday, too?"

* * *

Back on the Citadel, the newly appointed Councilor Anderson breathed out a heavy sigh and forced the tears back from his vision. He looked out over the serene peace of the presidium; recollecting how none of this would exist without that young boy who grew into a galactic hero. His voiced cracked as he pressed a button on his desk.

"Please summon Staff Sergeant Margaret Shepard to my offices ASAP. I owe her this news in person."

* * *

Maggie dressed carefully, buttoning up a tasteful black blouse over a simple black pencil skirt. She hardly got the opportunity to wear any clothes outside her uniforms and coveralls. Normally, she'd be excited; but today she felt nothing. She glanced down at her knuckles and frowned at the cuts and bruises that hadn't healed. She'd have to send Anderson some credits for his windows.

She'd never been very good about taking bad news.

Maggie finished the final touches on her make-up and stared at herself numbly in the mirror. At first, everything she saw reminded her of John - everything around her caused her tears to flow. But, that a week ago now. She'd cried all the tears and now everything was just empty. Yet, it was all still a reminder of him.

Bereavement leave. That's what they'd called it when she'd just stopped reporting for duty. Garrus had sent her messages. Tali had sent her messages. Solana had sent her messages. Hell, she even got one from Ashley saying goodbye as she headed for her new posting. Liara had just disappeared entirely. The entire galaxy was in mourning and the Council was using the opportunity to politely undermine any small success her brother had accomplished raising the alarm about the Reapers.

_Maybe it's better this way...so he wouldn't have to see the Reapers kill us all in the end._ Maggie thought to herself bitterly. She sighed as she stared at her reflection in the mirror, but it was John's face that smiled back her.

John Shepard wouldn't be there to see the Reapers. He wouldn't be there for their mother's promotion ceremony next month. He wouldn't even be there for Maggie's birthday. Maggie's fist trembled and she lashed out a sloppy punch at the mirror, reopening her previous cuts. The smiling image of John shattered. He'd always been there for her and now he was gone.

She'd never felt so horribly  _alone_.

She stepped out of the bathroom and allowed herself to be guided by a pair of Casualty Assistance Command Officers in their formal dress Alliance uniforms. It made her feel like prisoner. Maggie offered no resistance as they guided her into a private automated transport.

She expected her mother would be at the memorial service already, punctual to the letter. John was the oldest, the good soldier, the legacy. And, now he was gone. The thought of facing Captain Hannah Shepard in her fearsome grief and disapproval made Maggie's stomach turn.

"Land the skycar."

"Ma'am, the memorial service begins in 10 minutes," the awkward young officer tried to reason with her.

Maggie reached for her omni-tool, threateningly.

"Land the damn skycar or I'm crashing us into the bloody lake!"

* * *

"I know you're concerned, Garrus…"

" _Concerned_  doesn't even begin to cover it…"

"She's lost her brother…She just needs time."

"She didn't even come to his memorial service."

"Garrus, what about  _your_  family? Come back home. Forget Spectre training. I can't manage Mom's illness alone."

Solana's subvocals urged patience and understanding. Garrus tried to listen, he  _wanted_ to listen and let the subtle vibrations ease his fear. But, the hurt and worry overwhelmed his better judgement.

"Just message me if you hear from her."

"Fine." Solana growled at him and ended the call without saying goodbye.

Garrus paced the small space of his wards apartment. He lived cheaply and simply. It still felt odd to be back in what was supposed to be "home" after a year on the  _Normandy_. He hadn't heard from Maggie in over a week and his anxiety over her whereabouts had rapidly overridden everything else. His fear over her well-being was eating at him from the inside out; like an obsession. Keeping her safe was the last thing Shepard had asked of him.

Garrus had never felt so horribly alone.

Tali, Liara, Ashley, Wrex - all gone. Shepard was dead. And, now Maggie. After spending almost every waking hour with the girl for a month straight, he felt her absence profoundly. It was like she'd burrowed her way inside of him and then left a gaping empty hole when she vanished. He'd actually been looking forward to Shepard's memorial service and the opportunity to see her once again. But, the transport had arrived with two very frightened looking Alliance officers and no Maggie.

_At least they had seen her. Why won't she see me?_  he asked himself.

Garrus glanced at the small datadisc on his desk. He'd kept it without ever attempting to read it - even after Ilos and the Battle of the Citadel. He'd kept the last message Shepard had asked him to deliver "if the worst should happen." Shepard had never brought it up again and Garrus was content to leave it that way. But now, he would have to keep his word to Shepard; somehow.

Garrus scooped up the datadisc and headed out the door. He went to Anderson, Maggie's barracks, the SRR teams, "the Digs", even the cafe where they had shared a month of breakfasts together. No luck. No one had seen the girl.

He was seriously considering swinging by C-Sec to file a missing persons report when a thought struck him and he headed for the Presidium. He hurdled the railing and headed towards the water. There, he found her. She was dressed in black for the service, seated underneath that strange Sur'Kesh tree, dragging her odd human toes through the lake waters of the Presidium. Her hair was free, tumbling down her back and shoulders in a dark cascade ending at the small of her back. He'd never seen it like that before. At the sight of her, relief crashed through him. He clenched his talons, resisting the competing urges to hug her and punch her at the same time.

"I was hoping you'd be here… I've been looking for you." Garrus began awkwardly.

Maggie turned to look over her shoulder at him; realizing his presence for the first time. Her face was expressionless - the emptiness in her eyes caused Garrus to involuntarily step back. She said nothing.

"Anderson's worried about you," he continued

She turned and looked back out over the water; her silence was deafening. Garrus approached her slowly, trying humor.

"You must've really done a number on those Alliance kids… they looked terrified when they arrived at the service without you."

No response. Garrus swallowed hard.

"Maggie...hey. Come on. Say something."

She spoke without looking at him. Her voice was toneless.

"Nice suit."

Garrus looked down at himself. He was in such an emotional maelstrom he didn't even notice that he wasn't wearing armor. He was still in the formal black clothes he'd worn in his attempt to respect Human customs at Shepard's service that morning. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Thanks…"

More silence.

"Maggie, I've got something for you. It might help. It's… It's from your brother."

Her eyes whipped around towards him.

"What is it?"

Garrus inched closer, like approaching a wild animal, holding out the disc as a peace offering.

"Shepard gave this to me before Ilos. It was 'in case the worst should happen.' He told me to make sure you received it. I don't think he meant for…"

Garrus trailed off because suddenly the girl was on her feet, leaving damp footprints in the grass as she approached him and lifted the datadisc from his talons. She peered at it, scanning with her omni-tool. Her voice was eerily flat.

"Do you have a secure terminal I could use?"

"Uhh.. yeah… at my apartment, but…"

"Good. Take me to it."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:
> 
> Drksyders here! Just a head's up - I posted an updated version of Chapter 12 - I rewrote a bit to improve the flow. Hope you like it! I think it works better now. Next week - Adult audiences encouraged :)
> 
> As always, your comments, kudos, and messages are always appreciated! Thank you all for your encouragement and support!


	18. Chapter 15: Coping

**Chapter 15: Coping**

One of the terminals in Garrus' living room displayed the empty Captain's quarters of the  _SSV Normandy_. Commander Shepard's head appeared awkwardly off-center in the frame and he cursed irritably as he fumbled with the angle. The display contrast brightened and dimmed as the auto-adjust features tried to compensate for his meddling.

"Stupid, varren-sucking, piece of… ugh.. is this thing on?" the Spectre's voice growled from the recording.

Maggie smiled sadly to herself.  _John never did figure out how to properly use an omni-tool._

The image righted itself and a dead man appeared full screen.

"Ah - ok. I guess that's working then. Well.. here it goes," Commander John Shepard gave the camera one of this trademark side-ways smiles.

"Hey Mags! Well…If you're watching this vid, then it means I really did die on you this time. I'm ok with that...Really. I knew this situation was going to be bad and I hope I at least went out taking Saren with me."

He took a slow breath. Even through the screen, his iron will and steadfast determination hit Maggie like a physical blow.

"On this data disc, you'll find everything I've learned about the Reapers, Cerberus, Saren, and all the rest. Along with my mission reports from the past year and Dr. T'soni's Prothean research. This is everything I got Maggie, and I am giving it to you because I know you'll keep fighting where I can't. The Reapers are real and they are coming one way or another. I hope I died stopping that - but if not, I need you to to carry on. We can't let all life in the galaxy die because good people did nothing."

The dark resolve in the Commander's tone shifted to pride.

"Use my team, they're the best I've ever known. Use Anderson and the Alliance, even those useless twits on the Council. Use every damn thing you can get your hands on. I know you Maggie - I know how you keep everyone away. It's always been you and me against the galaxy. But if this past year on the  _Normandy_ has taught me anything, it's that you can't do the big stuff alone. You're going to have to reach out, trust, and bring people together. I know this is a lot to ask of you - and I know you can do it."

The Commander paused, as if considering his next words very carefully. His red-brown eyes looked straight into the camera. His gaze reached through the screen, through time, and through death itself, driving straight into the heart of his sister who watched his image with tear-filled eyes and a trembling lip.

"Just one more thing. You once told me to honor my squad. I don't think even you know how much that meant to me. So I want you to honor me. I want you to live, Maggie.  _REALLY_ live. Just because you're going to be saving the galaxy doesn't mean you can't have the life I'd always hoped you would. Find joy, find love, find passion - whatever makes you happy. Find someone special to share it all with. I know that'll be hard for you - but nothing worth doing is easy.

"Don't fight with Mom too much and try to help Anderson if he's not court martialed for helping me. Don't avenge me, Mags. Make me proud. I love ya and I'll see you on the other side."

The screen fumbled then switched over to a welcoming data menu. Maggie replayed the message three times before Garrus asked uneasily from the bedroom.

"Are you ok?"

The girl nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the Turian's voice. She had forgotten Garrus was even there. He had locked himself behind the door of his tiny bachelor pad as soon as she had settled down and inserted the disc into one of Garrus' many terminals.

With one swift movement, she switched off the screen and moved to the bedroom. She found Garrus pacing uneasily inside the small space. Without hesitation, she'd thrown her arms around his middle, burying her face against the warm plates of his chest.

Garrus blinked in surprise awkwardly raising his arms, staring at the girl wrapped about his midsection. Eventually he put his arms about her, patting her shoulders uncertainly.

"Uhh… is that a yes or a no?" he asked.

Maggie looked up at him, searching his face. Her eyes still glistened with tears.

"I don't know."

"That's a start," Garrus said softly, guiding her gently to sit on the edge of the bed. He sat side-by-side with her, slipping his arm over her shoulder and hugging her against his body. His plates were fever hot and Maggie could feel the warmth from underneath his clothing.

"Wow, Garrus. You're so warm. It's like you have a fever."

"I don't. I'm just usually wearing armor."

"What do you feel about John's death?" Maggie asked quietly, staring intently at her hands in her lap.

Garrus sighed. "Anger… a lot of anger… and hurt. Like there is a missing piece in the world….and guilt." His voice was strained on the last word. Maggie puzzled over the subharmonics in that statement. Garrus' multi-leveled communication was more complex than she could understand.

"Guilt? Why do you feel guilty?"

"I should've been with him. Maybe I could have done something. It was my job to keep him safe, my responsibility. I failed him."

"You sound like John after he loses...lost... a soldier."

"I'll take that as a compliment then…"

"At least you feel something… I'm just numb. Running calculations like a goddamn machine. I don't  _feel_  anything."

"That's not true," Garrus turned to face her, gently brushing her hair aside and cupping her cheek in one huge talon. He tilted her eyes up towards his own.

"You feel me, don't you?" he asked softly, studying her.

Maggie's heart started to race as she looked into his eyes. Her body was reacting, creating an ache spreading in her middle that she could almost feel.

"Garrus…" she whispered.

He lowered his forehead to hers, gently brushing against her cool skin with his own warm plates. The tender Turian gesture of affection and trust came so naturally at that moment, he'd just done it without thinking. It was all the solace he could offer.

Maggie knew what that gesture meant and the ties and promise that came with it. The word Solana had used for it loosely translated to "The Bond." It was something that Turians only did with family and intimate friends.

Garrus' token comfort cracked something inside her. Tears started welling up in her eyes and she mimicked his gesture, nudging her forehead into his. She ran the tips of her cool fingers along his mandible with a featherlight touch, tracing his colony markings back to where his plates tapered into exposed skin. She touched his neck tentatively, carefully feeling the pebbled texture.

"I feel you," she whispered. "You take the pain away."

Garrus let his forehead drop from hers, nuzzling across her cheek down to her neck, inhaling her scent from directly against her skin. It was almost like he could smell the oceans of Earth there. He felt her tears fall against his shoulder.

"I miss him so much…" She said it in Turian. The subharmonics rolled anguish and longing and felt the word in his chest. The ache wrapped around his heart.

"Me too," Garrus choked out the words around the tightness in his throat.

The dam finally broke inside the girl and she sobbed against him. Garrus pulled her into his lap and held her close. Her head tucked against the dip in his plates between his shoulder and neck, as if it were molded to him. Her shoulders were shaking and her small body convulsing with the effort of her heaving tears.

Garrus held her as if he could protect her from her own pain, entangling his talons in her hair, relishing the strange feeling of the strands running through his claws like water. He rumbled comforting nonsense to her as he pet and soothed her, rocking her softly in his arms. The closeness of another being eased his own hurt as well.

They stayed like that for a long while, until Maggie's tears finally ceased.

"I hate how weak I am… I can't be strong like him..." she was muttering to herself, shaking her head.

"Stop. Don't do that to yourself." Garrus commanded and Maggie looked up at him, shocked. He brushed the tears from her cheek with the back of his claw.

"He was your brother. My people would say his spirit is with you - only making you stronger. And he was the strongest person I've ever met. That makes you the biggest badass in the galaxy, right?"

Maggie choked on something between a laugh and a sob, but a smile framed her lips. Despite the tears, her eyes were fierce, determined, and full of life again. His mandibles flared into that goofy Turian smile right back at her.

The next thing Garrus knew she was throwing her arms about his collar and kissing him.

She took him entirely by surprise. Garrus had never kissed a human before and he was awkwardly unsure of what to do. The sensation of her lips moving over his mouth sent shockwaves down his spine. Her tongue sought out his and he shuddered, the taste igniting a hunger in him. She moaned softly into his mouth and Garrus relented to his instincts, pulling her hard into the kiss, holding her there as his claws scratched along her scalp. His warm plates and hot, rough tongue fervent against hers.

Garrus was lost in the alien gesture. It wasn't about lust, control, or dominance. It was about Maggie. He could taste her pain and tears. He couldn't imagine feeling something like it with any other being in the galaxy. Just when he thought he was getting the hang of this "kissing," Maggie's hand wandered southwards.

Garrus jerked away from the girl, panting. His own pain and emptiness at Shepard's loss was overwhelming; blurring his feelings, or so he tried to rationalize. Under normal circumstances, his instincts would have pushed him to dominate and claim his mate. Those were supplanted, overwhelmed by his concern for Maggie. He wanted to help her, to ease her suffering, bring the life back to her eyes for good. He'd never felt any kind of desire like it and it frightened him. A romp in the sack to relieve stress was a normal occurrence for Turians - but this was different.  _She_ was different. She was  _human_. He hesitated and studied her uncertainly.

"Whoa… whoa… Maybe we should think about this for a minute. I've never considered cross-species intercourse. Damn. Saying it that way doesn't help. Now I feel dirty and clinical. We gotta be crazy to be thinking about this..."

Maggie could feel his voice as much as she could hear it. Even  _her_ imperfect understanding of Turian subharmonics could pick up his concern and uncertainty. She interrupted him with another kiss. Her fingers running down the back of his neck to his collar, following it to the clasps at the front of his black suit, unfastening each clasp, working her way downward.

"No more thinking. I just need to feel...something…anything…I need to feel you, Garrus. I need to feel  _alive_. Just for a little while. Please."

Garrus froze, his talons sinking into the bed on either side of the lithe young woman who gradually started to undress him. Her shining eyes were dark red like the echoing vapor around around a crimson planet. Those orbs locked on him with pleading intensity. It was the "please" that broke his resolve. How could he push her away at a time like this?

Maggie leaned in and drew a line of kisses from the center of his odd alien collar up his neck. Garrus could feel her breath and her lips brushing along his mandible, tracing it to the softer more pliable plates that formed his lips. There, she took her time and kissed him again with an infuriating patience. She carefully explored his mouth with her lips and tongue; slowly and tenderly kissing and sucking her way out to the tips of his mandibles. Her lips kept him distracted while her fingers relieved the uncertain Turian of his tunic.

Maggie explored the heavy plates of Garrus' chest tapering downwards to his narrow waist, fascinated by the way the light played along his silvery body. She had seen topless Turians before, a simple fact of working with the military on Palaven. But she never touched one before.

She especially wanted to touch Garrus.

Her small and deft fingers, followed the smooth, interlocking metallic armor over his muscles and skin, learning every curve. His plates were more flexible than she anticipated, shifting subtly with his quickening breaths, expanding and contracting as he inhaled and exhaled. She poked at the discolored plates of his belly, the scar left by a Rachni on Noveria.

Garrus watched her explore, his mind racing with sensation and uncertainty. His body was responding with unexpected eagerness to her caresses, despite her species. Then again, it had been years since he'd been with anyone intimately. When she reached his scar, images of Shepard raced through his mind. Garrus saw Shepard's lopsided smile, his face pale and green from venom, the Rachni claw sticking out of his thigh, his voice shaking with pain even as he joked. And, suddenly Garrus hurt so badly he couldn't breathe. Garrus' hesitation was finally overwhelmed and leaned into her with fervent kiss to push the pain of his friend's loss out of his mind.

Fueled by their grief Maggie and Garrus clawed at each other's clothes, kissing like they were trying to consume one another. The buttons on Maggie's blouse tore the fabric at the pull of his insistent talons. Garrus' tunic caught painfully on the edges of his plates and was ripped free regardless. Hungry hands explored alien bodies, yearning for contact and comfort. Blood welled, plates bruised, teeth and tongues mingled and suffering was forgotten in blind, pawing, carnal sensation. The desperate scramble of two warriors fighting against pain, death, and loneliness.

Neither would back down; neither of them knew how.

Maggie grabbed Garrus roughly by the fringe and shoved him back against the bed with startling force. Garrus was the top ranked hand-to-hand specialist in his unit all throughout his military service. And yet, he was completely pinned by the lips of a tiny, human, girl.

Her strange delicate fingers had his pants unfastened before he could even protest and her hips quickly replaced them. Maggie's lips never left his plates as she inched up her skirt and straddled him. Garrus couldn't exactly hide his excitement at the situation, his plates had already shifted leaving him unsheathed. Her desperate need outweighed any hesitation as she settled her hips onto his, whimpering as her body adjusted to him. She rolled her head back, bracing her hands on the plates of his chest, and lost herself in her own pleasure.

Garrus was helpless to stop her, it just all had happened so fast. His talons dug into the bed beneath him while she took him, dominated him, and rode him against every instinct he knew. He submitted to her wants, shuddering and panting to keep his own impulses at bay. Her moans vibrated like Turian growls, urging him to take control. He clenched his jaw and managed to hold back his urges, though his hips were less obedient, bucking up into her.

They lost track of time entirely. Maggie was a slave to her own sensations that built to peak then built again. Garrus was entirely focused on fighting his body, struggling against his needs, and resisting the mind-numbing pleasure threatening to overwhelm him. They ebbed and flowed together, rhythms shifting until Maggie let out a final cry and collapsed across his chest.

Garrus was set free when she convulsed against him. His body acted of its own accord, wrapping the girl in his arms and rolling on top of her. Her thighs trembled as she locked her ankles around his narrow waist while her arms wrapped around his collar and neck. He held her against his own body with one arm, his other supporting his weight. Garrus' self-control relented and raw, primal need took over. Maggie's wordless cries mingled with his own growls while Garrus lost himself in her scent and sensation.

Together, they desperately reaffirmed that they were very much alive.

His mind went white when he reached his peak and they both collapsed against the bed, panting in a tangle of half-discarded clothing and limbs. As the hormonal haze cleared, Garrus realized he'd lost control and tried to pull away.

"Are you ok...did I...?"

Maggie's grip tightened on him, preventing him from escaping her arms.

"Move again and I will end you…" she growled quietly in Turian. Her body shuddering and twitching beneath him.

Garrus settled next to her, his own exhaustion setting in. He looked her over, uneasily checking for injuries. Seeing nothing serious, he studied her face. She was already asleep, a faint smile on her lips. He nudged his forehead to hers softly and then followed her example to sleep.

* * *

Maggie awoke the next morning, shivering and alone. Garrus had no use for blankets or sheets and it was cold without his radiation furnace of a body next to her. She yawned and stretched, musing to herself about the amazing dream she'd had, before she bolted upright and looked around. She was in a dark, unfamiliar apartment, half empty and smelling faintly of gun oil. It looked like it housed such a lonely life. Maggie struggled to put her thoughts together.

_Ok ok…Don't panic. Where am I? I was at the lake and then Garrus found me and then… Ooooh. Shit._

Slowly, realization dawned. The memories returned in a flood and Maggie scrambled for her clothes.

_Oh god… I've gone and fucked everything up now…_

She was buttoning up her blouse and stepping into her shoes. The grieving woman had been so engrossed in her own pain and catharsis that she hadn't given a single thought to the consequences. Maggie couldn't believe she'd let a schoolgirl crush somehow get so far out of hand just because she couldn't deal with her own pain.

_Reckless, stupid and weak… damnit… why I can't I stick to ruining my own goddamn life?_ Maggie cursed herself angrily.

She opened the bedroom door, peered uneasily into the tiny living room space scattered with datapads and gun modifications. Garrus was gone. She was relieved. Maggie wasn't sure she could've faced him.

She checked her omni-tool quickly. No messages. Best to make a run for it and sort out the collateral damage later. She paused briefly to collect her brother's datadisc from Garrus' terminal, tucking it into her bra before she made for the door. She was just reaching for the access panel when the doors whisked open and she ended up face to face with Garrus, fully armored, carrying a bag, and looking down at her curiously.

They stared at each other awkwardly a moment.

"Hey," Maggie murmured, looking guiltily down at her feet. She was caught dead in her tracks trying to flee.

"Hey…" Garrus echoed.

Then, they both started speaking at once.

"I'm sorry I…"

"Look...I didn't mean…"

Maggie blushed and tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear. Garrus chuckled quietly and stepped inside, forcing her back into the apartment. Maggie scooted aside and watched him.

"Sorry - you go first," she offered uneasily.

Garrus headed for the small table near his terminal and set the bag down. The smell of food filled the tiny space.

"It figures you'd wake up in the ten minutes I went to get breakfast…. I didn't have any levo food…so…"

He pulled out their regular breakfast order. It was from the same cafe they'd met at every morning for weeks of daily Turian language practice. He placed the food in front of her and tapped his omni-tool, turning off his translator. It was their routine for every breakfast they'd spent together before Shepard's death, as if nothing had changed. Garrus sat down and motioned for her to do the same. Maggie blinked.

"You… bought me breakfast, " she said stunned.

Garrus frowned and pointed at her wrist. Without his translator active, she might've well be speaking in interpretive dance.

Maggie chuckled to herself quietly. Like a medi-gel patch, best to just rip it off quick and get it over with. So with a resolute determination, she sat down across from Garrus for breakfast like they'd done dozens of times before She shut off her own translator and began awkwardly in Turian.

"I hope we can still work together."

Garrus looked entirely baffled. "That's ridiculous. Of course we can. Turians work together and sleep together all the time."

"So... nothing has changed?"

"I wouldn't say that…."

"I'm sorry.. I…" she fumbled, failing to find the right word in her second language. Her subvocals were waivering. She couldn't believe she was actually nervous.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Garrus asked, obviously uncomfortable.

Maggie blushed crimson.

"What? No, no! The opposite, actually…I did not plan to… well… It wasn't my intention…Bite on your cursed plates! I thought you didn't like humans!"

Garrus tried not to laugh at her ridiculous cursing.

"I thought you didn't like Turians…"

Their eyes met and Maggie looked away quickly, fidgeting and squirming. They ate in silence for a moment. Maggie marshaled her courage.

"No regrets?" she asked, finally.

"No… you?"

Maggie grinned, mischief and delight dancing in her eyes. Garrus caught the expression and felt a happy relief surge through him.

"Maybe we should try again and find out…"

"Next time...I'll bring wine."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note:
> 
> Drksyders here! A Tale of Two Shepards will be going on a short hiatus for the next month or so to bring you another stand alone romance side-story. As you wonderful folks may recall, we did this before with "Biotics Do it Better" for Ashley and Kaidan.
> 
> Now, we bring you "Here if You Need Me," the adventures and hijinks of Maggie and Garrus. Fair warning, it contains more adult content and spoilers.
> 
> Hopefully, you'll all enjoy it just as much. If not….Well, we resume our regularly scheduled fanfic soon.
> 
> Thanks again for all of your comments, follows, faves, and support! Feel free to message us!


	19. Chapter 16: Work, Life Balance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drksyders here! Welcome back to the show! Sorry for the late post this week, getting back into the swing of things. I hope you enjoyed our sexy interlude with "Here if You Need Me." Now we return to the Citadel!

 

**Chapter 16: Work, Life Balance**

" _Hey, Gabby! Where's Sarge?"_

" _Went into the tunnels with the Turian. There was short in the telemetry system."_

" _Again? I guess she likes her men hard and spikey, eh?"_

" _You're disgusting, Kenneth."_

Beneath the Engineers' feet, insulated by hundreds of yards of circuitry and structure, wove miles of networked tunnels throughout the Citadel. No one knew where all those tunnels went or what they all did. Someone could slip down one of those holes, following a keeper, and walk for the rest of their days without ever seeing another living being. Screams in those tunnels would never be heard by another soul.

Just how Maggie and Garrus liked it.

"Oh god...fuck...Garrus...yes.. right there….YES!" Maggie cried out in ecstasy, slamming her back against the tunnel wall. Her nails clawed at the back of the Turian's neck and her body shuddered. Garrus matched her cries with savage growls beyond the comprehension of any translator as he pinned her body upright with his own. He had her leg drawn up around his waist and talons digging into her thigh where he supported her weight.

They crested, collapsed, and panted together, lit only by the dim blue of his targeting visor. Garrus held her tightly against the wall as his plates shifted and his breathing settled. Maggie melted in exhaustion in his arms. He purred his contentment and enjoyed the peaceful afterglow.

"I..I.. thought you said a quickie…" Maggie sputtered between her gasps for air, carefully inching herself back to ground level and squirming into her Alliance coveralls.

Garrus grumbled in protest, refusing to let the girl escape the protective encirclement of his arms. He nuzzled gently into her neck and fluttered his mandibles to elicit the laughter he enjoyed so much. With a contented sigh, he inhaled her scent and slipped his talons inside her clothing to caress soft skin.

"...was only a few minutes…" he mumbled dreamily.

"Twenty… twenty minutes, Garrus. Someone is bound to notice. Thank god for segmented armor."

She knelt down and picked up the discarded torso component of Garrus' armor, pausing for a brief kiss before pulled it over his head. Maggie ignored Garrus' grumbling protests and, with easy and practiced motions, she latched the armor seals in place.

"You're getting pretty good at that," Garrus chuckled, watching her and returning his talons to her body. "These things are handy too… what did you call them again?"

"Zippers." Maggie grinned, using the indicated item to zip her uniform to decency again.

"Clever," Garrus mused as he stepped back, checking his seals and weapons before bringing up his omni-tool and continuing his scans of the telemetry system as if the twenty-minute interlude hadn't happened.

Maggie watched him return to work with a smirk before following his long strides and pulling up her own holo-display.

"It's gonna cut back on our fun when Spectre training resumes next week," she carried on conversationally, turning her attention to their work. "Between your training and my work off-station, we probably won't see much of one another."

Garrus' heavy steps ceased. Maggie could hear his mandibles clicking thoughtfully in the darkness. She turned her thoughts back to the telemetry system and knelt near the shorted wiring. Minutes passed in silence broken only by Maggie's omni-tool beeping cheerily as she worked. The young Engineer had nearly finished the repair when suddenly Garrus' voice broke her concentration.

"You could stay at my apartment... with me….if you want."

Maggie's brain had to reboot it's own systems just to keep up. She stood and turned to face him.

"Y-You mean, live with you? Can you even live with someone?"

Garrus laughed. "Of course I can live with someone. I spent seven years in a communal barracks with my whole regiment. I can handle one of you, Pyjack."

"I…didn't mean like that. I-I mean… do Turians do that? I thought Turians only live with their bond-mate."

"Normally, yes…" Garrus shrugged. "...but, it's not the law or anything like that."

Maggie shifted her weight uncertainly. "I have more missions coming up off-station. I could put in a request...I mean, I won't be much trouble if-"

"Maggie," Garrus interrupted, stepping towards her and taking her hand. "I've fought rogue spectres, Rachni soldiers, and a sentient starship. I can handle your trouble."

"I'm not gonna honor or obey or any of that shit." She huffed, but somehow managed to smile at the same time. "This doesn't change...this." She waved a hand in a vague circular motion between the two of them.

"Agreed. I like what we have. I wouldn't be sticking around for all this time if this wasn't what I wanted. I know you have your other priorities and so do I. But, we can still make this work."

"It won't be forever…" Maggie hedged.

"Nothing ever is."

* * *

Garrus swept his scope over the deteriorated courtyard for a fifth time. The giant roots and foliage around the ancient Prothean ruins created a hundred shadowy pockets for an ambush. He'd learned that lesson the hard way the last time he was here on Ilos.

That day with Shepard felt like another lifetime. The broken Geth Shock Troopers and Hoppers lay exactly where they had fallen four months before. Through his scope, he could still make out the scorch marks in the ground from Shepard's fragmentation grenades. The ache of that loss crept up from his stomach towards his heart. Garrus swallowed to push it back down.

"I don't like it," he announced with finality. "Something's off from last time."

"I'm sure the Salarian STG teams have picked over everything…"

Maggie's whisper was warbly and distorted in his earpiece, indicating her tactical cloak was active. Garrus retrained his scope to the opposite ridge of the courtyard. He could just barely make out the faintest shimmer of movement as she closed in on the ancient Prothean security station.

"You know, when you asked me to help with your research - this wasn't exactly what I envisioned."

"Better than a library…" she teased. Her transmission cleared up and she shimmered into existence behind cover, just shy of the entrance. "Clear," she reported.

"Hold your position. I'll meet you there."

Garrus skirted the open ground and crept his way towards the security station keeping low. He was disappointed bordering on angry when he arrived at Maggie's location to discover she wasn't there. He moved inside, rifle at the ready, and found her kneeling at the terminal with her omni-tool linked to the sputtering hologram.

"Is this the holo from your report?" Maggie asked quickly without looking up.

Garrus bit back his anger and studied the flickering Prothean image.

"Yes. When this thing came on… it's the closest I ever saw Shepard to looking scared."

They met each other's eyes briefly, sharing their mutual pain in a quick look. Maggie's eyes looked strangely shiny before she tore her gaze away and went back to work.

"Can't make it out," Maggie mumbled to herself, fiddling with her omni-tool. "Cipher in his head must've translated for him."

"I thought I said to hold your position," Garrus snapped irritably. "This room wasn't clear, you could've be-"

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Maggie interrupted sharply. "Were you giving the orders around here? I must've missed that memo." Her eyes never moved from her omni-tool, but her voice carried a hard, mocking edge.

Garrus fought to check the angry growl bubbling in his throat, then clenched his jaw and turned away. "I'm going to do a sweep."

She grunted in acknowledgement and ignored him.

Garrus moved angrily past her to survey the rest of the structure. He knew he wasn't really angry with her. He was angry with himself. His emotions and protective instincts regarding Maggie were becoming irrational. To make matters worse, he was retracing the steps of his last mission with Shepard. The triggered memories were making the pain of his loss fresh all over again.

It had been three months since Shepard was killed, three months as Maggie's lover, and three months of loss and confusion. Now, Garrus was reminded of the lurking presence of the Reapers and his emotions were whipped up to a fury. It was all too much. He didn't understand  _what_ he was feeling.

His fitful steps led him to the bottom of the ramp on the opposite side of the complex. There he stopped and indulged his memories of storming this lost security bunker of Ilos. From one heartbeat to the next, his anger evaporated and his instincts snapped into focused clarity.

_Where the hell are they?_

The remains of the Geth Armatures were no where to be found. Only faint drag marks in the flooring indicated that the hulking assault units had been there at all. No time to be angry, he was on a mission. When he returned with hurried steps to the data terminals, Maggie was waiting for him.

"I got the door to the Archive open. Can we reach it by foot?"

"No. We'll need a vehicle."

Maggie paused and studied the Turian uncertainly. "You alright?"

_I need a better poker face,_  Garrus grumbled to himself. "We're not alone here. We should hurry."

"Alright. You take point."

Maggie, as if sensing the shift in mood, drew her own rifle and fell into step behind him. But, she didn't express the same apprehension that Garrus expected.

_What does she know that I don't?_

They spent the rest of the planetside visit in a tense and uneasy silence, only communicating when absolutely necessary. Maggie worked quickly and efficiently to extract her data from the Archive and cursed with colorful imagery when she was unable to resurrect the Prothean VI, Virgil.

Despite the failure, she moved with a steady commanding confidence that was unmistakably Shepard. Garrus found it all too easy to follow her orders even while the nostalgic ache for his friend was threatening to overwhelm him.

As they circled back through the courtyard towards their shuttle, Garrus let out a sudden hiss and grabbed Maggie roughly by the scruff of the neck. She cursed when Garrus drew her back into the shadows. To her credit, Maggie's anger subsided quickly. Garrus pushed her behind his body and peered carefully around the pylon while powering up his rifle.

A heartbeat later a four-Salarian STG team crested the opposite side of the courtyard, muttering in their rapid-fire chatter while studying hand-held scanners.

"...The monitors detected movement in this area, no more than 30 minutes ago," a small grey Salarian was reporting with a lot of head bobbing.

A larger, heavily armored Salarian responded stiffly. "Impossible. The Council blacked out this planet's location. It's highly classified. Any unauthorized vehicles would have been shot down by the orbital monitoring system before landing."

Garrus glanced back at Maggie with an accusing frown. In return, she offered a malicious grin and raised her rifle to take aim at the biggest Salarian. Garrus immediately slapped her rifle down, his mandibles flaring in horror. He shook his head once, silently and emphatically. The look of cold fury that crossed Maggie's face made Garrus' heart skip a beat. They stared at each other engaging in an unspoken battle of wills. Maggie relented, lowering her rifle and stepping back into the shadows. Garrus turned to his omni-tool instead.

"...A Spectre could by-pass that level of clearance." A third STG Salarian added to the hurried conversation.

The armored Salarian, who seemed to be the leader, looked down into the courtyard, scowling. "Myrin, message the Council and see if you can confirm any Spectre activity in this area. Rhyad? Take a team and fo-"

"I've got movement! Three heat signatures!" the small grey Salarian called out excitedly and the STG team immediately sprang into action. They stalked with startling quickness into the structure, brandishing their weapons.

As soon as they were out of sight, Maggie and Garrus sprinted from cover back towards their shuttle. Within minutes they were airborne, breaking atmo, and headed for the safety of the relay.

"By the grace of the spirits, what was that about?!" Garrus demanded as soon as the shuttle snapped into existence back in Council space. Maggie finished setting the auto-pilot and swung the pilot seat around to face him, grinning ear to ear.

"Great move there, Garrus, hacking their monitors and implanting fake heat signatures. I'll have to borrow that trick sometime..."

"STG? Highly classified? How did you even land us without getting us shot out of the sky?!"

Maggie shrugged indifferently. "John's Spectre codes."

"You said 'research' not 'breaking Council law and sneaking past the STG!' Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have done anything differently if I did tell you?"

Garrus sputtered. "T-t-that's not the point! You were going to kill that team! For what?!"

Maggie jumped to her feet and drew herself up to her full, yet tiny, height. Her eyes met Garrus' with the same cold steel he'd seen before. She may have been looking at up at him, but Garrus felt like he was cowering beneath that glare.

"John told me to stop the Reapers - by any means necessary. That's exactly what I'm going to do." They stared at each other for a long while. Maggie's gaze never wavered. "I'm going to finish what he started… with or without you, Garrus."

Garrus backed away and ran his talons over his fringe as he paced from end to end of the tiny shuttle. He stopped suddenly, facing her again, and took a slow breath.

"That's not how  _he_  would've done it."

Maggie's head jerked back as if he'd slapped her. Her eyes dropped to her shaking hands. Garrus winced, instantly regretting his words. He opened his mouth apologize and Maggie spoke instead. Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Well, I'm not  _him_ …"

Garrus' jaw snapped shut and a heavy silence fell over them both. Maggie clenched her fists to steady her shaking hands and looked up defiantly at her lover.

"You can walk away, Garrus. You don't owe me anything. But, if you're with me on this we do it  _my_ way. So, you still on my team or not?"

Garrus studied her then touched her cheek with back of his talons, tracing imaginary colony markings that weren't actually there.

"Always. Someone's got to keep you out of trouble."

* * *

No amount of stims could keep Garrus Vakarian's eyes open through the dreary Spectre training presentation. Again and again, his head nodded forward then jerked back as he forced himself awake. It had to be the galaxy's most boring lecture.

The Salarian Spectre prattled on to the group of Spectre candidates about the severe penalties they would incur should they betray the Council. He introduced a vid with another Asari Spectre reiterating the exact same point. The rest of the vid, contained a slide-show presentation about all the ways that going rogue was terrible and wrong. The recorded voice announced, yet again, "On pain of death, DO NOT betray the Council."

_Spectre training in the post-Saren world sucks,_  Garrus thought bitterly to himself.  _Five months and we're still listening to this shit?_

He turned up the feed on his visor, hoping the scrolling text could hide the fact that he was sleeping through the bureaucratic stupidity.

It probably didn't help that Maggie hadn't come home the night before. He'd spent most of the sleep-cycle awake, staring at the ceiling, and worrying. For eight months, they'd been...something. Not a bonded pair. Not a fling either. It was something else; a strange, yet affectionate relationship that didn't fit into the definition of anything he'd ever known. But, he was happy. Happiest he could remember being since the  _Normandy_. And, it never hurt to have a beautiful woman waiting for you when you came home.

Until she wasn't there.

All that she left was a message on the terminal that said "work." Her armor and weapons were gone and Garrus' fears and paranoia started crawling around in his skull. In fitful dreams, he could see her on some classified mission, pinned down behind cover as Geth Troopers overwhelmed her position.

Truth be told, he had no idea what she did when she disappeared on Alliance-related business. It concerned him that her secret jaunts were becoming more frequent. There was no reason he could justify that a Comms Engineer needed armor and weapons. But, he knew better than to ask. Military secrecy was bred into Turians like breathing. His imagination just liked to fuck with him.

So, Garrus lost himself in paranoid daydreams as he half-snoozed through Spectre training. His fancies were becoming so vivid he could almost hear Maggie's solid voice of command calling his name.

"I'm looking for Officer Vakarian. Garrus Vakarian? He's a Spectre candidate."

"What? You can't come in here armed, lady. Relinquish your weapons and we'll find the Candidate for you."

"I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?"

Garrus jerked upright. He'd nodded off again during the ridiculously boring presentation. His fellow trainees were looking away from the vid screen now, focused with curious intensity on the confrontation between C-Sec personnel and a Human woman in the entryway. The Salarian Spectre was already on the scene, moving towards the threat silently. A few uncertain glances fell back to him. Quietly, Garrus slipped from his seat in the briefing room and headed towards the ruckus.

"Ma'am…. are you threatening a-"

"Shepard. My name is Shepard. Now, find me Vakarian."

The scene froze. Hands and talons hovered near weapons as the C-Sec security personnel and the Spectre exchanged significant glances.

"I'm here, I'm here," Garrus called, stepping around the armed C-Sec guards and carefully avoiding the judgmental glare of the Salarian Spectre.

_Oh, this is going to go over great in my review for Spectre status_ , Garrus winced inwardly. He gave the senior level Spectre a confident nod and motioned towards Maggie.

"C-Sec business," Garrus added casually, then led his unruly girlfriend firmly by the arm around the corner and out of earshot. Garrus glanced uneasily up and down the hallway to ensure they were alone.

Maggie feigned a casual air as she reattached her pistol to her hip then touched a few fingers to her omni-tool. The nearby security cameras fell limp and lifeless at their posts. Garrus could read the fury behind her movements. She was calm, calculated, and dangerous.

"I need a favor," she said simply.

"Where have you been!? What the hell do you think…" He started to snap at her, but trailed off when he took in her appearance. Her lightweight armor was scorched and dented. The infiltrator's weave and custom red paint they'd worked on together was chipped and broken with dangling bits of wire. There were deep scratch marks that looked like they were left by Turian talons across her forearm and a deep purple bruise rapidly darkening on her cheek.

Her appearance wasn't the worst part though. It was her eyes. They were angry and hard with a bitterness he'd seen before. Garrus clearly remembered that expression of barely restrained rage in Commander John Shepard's eyes. The resemblance was uncanny and the message unmistakable.

Something had gone terribly wrong.

Impotent rage and bile rose in Garrus' throat and his mandibles clicked furiously. Garrus didn't trust his voice to speak. He just stared at her, piercing blue eyes digging for answers. Maggie met his gaze briefly and looked away, a shadow of guilt passing over her features as she added softly.

"I was on Omega, following a lead. That's all I can say."

"Omega? That place is dangerous! You shouldn't have gone alone."

"I wasn't alone."

"With who then?" Garrus probed, jealousy and suspicion involuntarily slipping into his subvocals.

Maggie's sharp and indignant glare landed on him. Lesser men would've melted from such a stare.

"Are you going to help or not?"

"Spirits, Maggie! How am I supposed to help when you shut me out like this? You disappear in the middle of the night without a word! Then you show up looking like…like THIS?! I thought I was your partner...I thought we were a team."

Maggie's voice softened. "We are a team."

"Then, work with me here."

"I don't want you involved in this."

"In what… your life?"

Maggie winced. "It's not that simple, Garrus."

"Sure it is. You either trust me or you don't."

Maggie gently touched the side of Garrus' face, turning his head to look at her.

"I trust you. So, believe me when I say that you do  _not_ want to be wrapped up in this."

Garrus heaved a sigh, as if resigning himself to his fate.

"Fine. What do you need?"

"Where can I find Liara T'soni?"

* * *

Nos Astra, the capital of Illium, is a sniper's playground. With it's broad spaces, tall towers, and exquisite lighting, every window in the city is exposed to a clear line of sight from somewhere. Perhaps, that's why so many of it's residents invest in bullet-proof glass.

And, for some silly reason, the newest Asari Information broker hadn't gotten the memo.

The crosshairs between the scope and the end of of the Mantis rifle barrel lined up beautifully just over Liara T'soni's left eye. The Asari worked at her open balcony office seemingly oblivious to the danger. It was a picture perfect shot. At this range, the infiltrator didn't even need to use her cloak. The headshot would be fatal. The rage bubbled up inside her again and her finger twitched against the rifle guard, desperately yearning to curl about the trigger.

The leader of the Alliance's top counter-intelligence unit, planned the shot, envisioned the spray of blood, then sighed and lowered the rifle.

_Traitor or not...John loved her once_ , Margaret Shepard sighed.

Maggie lifted her head from the scope and checked Liara T'soni's office with her naked eye before glancing back to her team. Two Alliance Infiltration Operatives, a man and a woman, awaited her orders silently.

"Jelly, set up your drones to guard this position. Motion triggers and mines on the stairwell. Start the hack as soon as the link is solid. Johnnie, I want you covering me from right here. You will  _not_  engage under any circumstances without my command."

"Yes, ma'am," the large woman, Jelly, agreed and quickly turned to set about her work.

Johnnie, the handsome olive-skinned man, eyed her skeptically. "So, how are you getting in to establish the link?"

Maggie returned her gaze towards the office, her dark eyes steely cold.

"Through the front door."

Johnnie let out something between a laugh and a choke. Maggie turned towards her subordinate, scowling.

"You're joking, right?" the older man asked. "That's a pair of fucking Asari Commandos in there. And, last I checked, your biotics were still non-existent."

Maggie sighed irritably. "Your point?"

"With their security measures and that much firepower, you won't make it past the first step. I'm going in with you. You  _need_  me."

"No. You're staying here and obeying my bloody orders, Johnnie, or we throw down right here right now."

"Wouldn't I like that...Bethany?" Johnnie mused, asking the name as a question.

"Stop guessing. I'm not telling you my name." Maggie smirked, but her gaze was drawn again to the balcony office of her target.

Johnnie grinned and stepped up beside her, laying a large reassuring hand on her armored shoulder. "You sure about this?"

Maggie took a deep breath. "I just hope to hell our sources are wrong."

Ten minutes later, Maggie stood at the entryway of Liara T'soni's office being glared at by an Asari Commando turned receptionist. Maggie pressed her thumb to the identification scanner impatiently for a third time.

"Shepard?" the receptionist asked skeptically, looking up from her screens. "And your business with Miss T'soni is….?"

"Personal," Maggie responded stoically. "Just get her on the line...she won't be happy you kept me waiting."

Reluctantly, the receptionist did as she was told. It was hardly a minute before the doors whisked open and Liara herself greeted Maggie warmly, throwing her arms about the Human and dragging her eagerly into her office.

"Oh! Maggie! It is wonderful to see you!" Liara gushed, wrapping the girl in enthusiastic hugs. Maggie stepped into the office and set her jaw at the Asari's touch. Her eyes flicked up to her team, watching the exchange through sniper scopes a half klick away. She returned the hug carefully, as if trying to minimize any physical contact. Behind the Asari's back she touched her omni-tool. Subtle and smooth as silk, the electronic assault on the information broker's systems began.

"Great to see you too," Maggie lied. "How's tricks?"

"Tricks..oh! You mean business. Well enough. Maggie, I'm sorry I never got to say this in person. I know I left so suddenly, but I am very,  _very_ , sorry about your brother. I did everything I could. I truly did...I know we both miss him very much."

"Right," Maggie replied stiffly.

"I hear you and Garrus have become rather close..." the Asari continued cheerily, almost leering while urging Maggie into a seat. "How is he?"

"He's great. Nearly a Spectre." Maggie said as she sat in the proffered chair.

"Wonderful! The position will suit him well." The two women stared at each other awkwardly. "Soooo," Liara continued carefully, taking a seat behind her desk. "What brings you to Nos Astra?"

"I'm looking for the truth," Maggie said quietly, her eyes watching the Asari warily.

"The truth comes in many forms. For example, none of my sources reported you on the manifests." Liara carried on casually. "I would have contacted you if I'd known you were here."

"I traveled off the grid. I didn't want your new  _friends_ to know I was here." Maggie's voice rolled with accusation and suppressed rage. The smile fell away from Liara's face. The room became arctic.

"I see," the Asari said simply. Her manner turned cold and she neatly folded her hands in her lap. Maggie noted the gesture placed the Asari's hands close to an area of the desk that didn't quite mesh with the rest of the design, probably a hidden weapon. "So, this is  _business_ then?"

"This is personal," Maggie growled. "H-How could you… You knew what they did to him… and you gave his body to-" Maggie had to stop herself when her throat got tight and her fists started shaking. Fury, pain and loss swirled inside of her and threatened to become tears.

Liara swallowed. "Y-You don't understand…"

"He was my brother! He  _loved_ you!"

"You think I don't know that? I joined with him - I knew him more deeply than you ever could."

Red flashed in front of Maggie's eyes. "And, then you betrayed him…"

"It was the lesser evil. The Collectors were after him. Cerberus is Human an-"

"They are  _not_ human!" Maggie boomed, jumping to her feet and slamming her armored palms on Liara's desk. The Asari jumped back and rose partially to her feet. The audible sound of pistol whirring to life came from beneath her desk and blue light danced over Liara's crouched body.

Maggie's eyes flicked to Liara's hand, hidden beneath the desk with a deadly cheshire smile. "You want to dance with me, Liara? Do you want us to become  _business_?" She drawled the last word with harsh emphasis.

The two women stared at each other, unmoving. Liara cool, collected and serious while the manic rage practically bubbled from Maggie like vapor. Seconds ticked by slowly. Maggie's eyes flicked over Liara's shoulder for an instant and she counted the time silently in her mind.

The standoff was broken when Liara's receptionist tumbled into the room breathless and panicked. "Miss T'soni! I-I'm sorry to interrupt but-"

"Our system is under attack…" Liara finished for her, blue eyes never leaving Maggie's.

"Give me a name…" the young Human demanded in a whisper.

Liara kept her face serene, despite her heart and mind screaming with fear and anguish. She was afraid of Maggie Shepard and with good reason. As an information broker, she  _heard_  things. But, she made her choice. She had given Shepard's body to Cerberus and she would stand by that decision, even if it killed her. It took Liara several tries to get her dry mouth to form the words.

"O-Operative Miranda Lawson. Project Lazarus."

Maggie nodded once as if satisfied and slowly withdrew her hands from the table. She turned and began to walk out of the office, pausing at the door. She didn't turn around and her voice was still the same deadly fury-ladden whisper.

"Pray to your goddess that you don't see me again."

And, then she was gone - just…. gone. An infiltrator's cloak no doubt, but of a caliber Liara had never seen before. Liara seemed to deflate, collapsing in her chair and tossing the pistol onto the desk.

"Ma'am…. should I alert Miss Lawson?" the receptionist asked uncertainly.

"No…" Liara said softly, looking down at the pistol with a wry smile. "...I'm sure she enjoys surprises."


	20. Chapter 17: The Mission Continues

**Chapter 17: The Mission Continues**

Garrus made up his mind to go to Omega.

He would follow this investigation, he would eliminate the source of the drugs, and hopefully knock some heads together in the process. He knew if he didn't go now; then, he'd never have the strength to leave.

His final conversation with Chellick still echoed in his head, but it had steeled his purpose.

"You don't want to work with us anymore, that's  _fine_." Chellick had warned him "But, you keep pushing the line like this, Vakarian, and I'll lock you up  _myself_. You hear me?"

"Loud and Clear." Garrus had answered him patiently. "Don't worry - I'm not your problem anymore…"

Garrus felt like he was orbiting too close to a solar flare, it was beautiful, warm, and deadly. If he got any closer, he wouldn't be able to avoid the gravitational pull and then crash and burn in a fiery explosion. Ok. Maybe that metaphor went someplace horrible, but it didn't change the facts. He was starting to feel too strongly and he was pretty sure his feelings weren't reciprocated. At least, not in the same way.

Garrus tried to ignore the nervous tension roiling in his gut as he made his way back to the apartment.

" _The" apartment_. He mused.  _Neither of us can summon the courage to call it "ours."_

It had been a year since the Normandy was destroyed. At first, it was just comfort and a few hours lost in sensation to forget the pain of their loss. But, he and Maggie had shared that pain so deeply with one another it merged into something  _more_ before either of them had the chance to stop it. But, neither of them wanted to acknowledge it either. It was as if they admitted the true nature of their relationship, it would shatter. They both knew it was temporary, only a matter of time, but they enjoyed the companionship while it lasted.

Garrus had never been with anyone for more than a fling. In his gut, he knew Maggie was so much more than that. At least, he wanted them to be something more. But, that wasn't the prime directive. The Reapers, the mission, and saving the whole galaxy;  _that_  was top priority for her. The "us" that they both refused to acknowledge always came second. At least, that was how he understood it.

Maybe, he could take her with him. Maggie made it clear she was as disenchanted with the red-tape bureaucracy as he was. She certainly held no loyalties to her uniform. Maybe if he got her away from her mission, she would feel what he did. The ideas tumbled in his head.

The two of them, on Omega, overturning drug-lords and merc-gangs a-like. It would be like some kind of blood-drenched justice-driven interspecies love story. Then, at night, alone together in small safe houses…..

He shook his head, as if to push the ideas out. He couldn't ask that of her.

_Cursed stupid slow elevators...They give you too much time to think,_ Garrus grumbled to himself.

Garrus was keying in the codes to  _the_ apartment when he noticed the music thumping behind the door. She must be home already. They both liked the mindless beats of electronic music and she had one of his favorites booming at the moment. His mandibles twitched unconsciously to a smile. Then, he remembered the task ahead of him and his stomach flipped.

He stepped inside quietly, the whisk of the door masked by the sound of the music. The apartment was pretty bare and still managed to be messy. Neither of them stayed long enough to merit many furnishings or personal items. He scanned the small space quickly and found her in the alcove that was generously called a "kitchenette" unpacking two bags of levo and dextro take-out.

Maggie was humming and dancing to the music, badly. Her uniform coveralls stripped down to her waist, accentuating her strange curves. The thin tank-top beneath showed the bump of her dog tags between her shapely chest. Her caramel skin caught the ambient citadel glow from the windows and Garrus thought, not for the first time, how oddly enticing her fragile human body could be. And, just like that, watching her flail off-beat in a horrible attempt at dancing, the anxiety of the upcoming conversation was forgotten.

Garrus silently crossed the space between them and wrapped his armored arms around her from behind. Maggie let out a squeak of surprise before settling back against him with a happy sigh.

"I will never get used to how something so big and covered in metal moves so quietly…" she joked, leaning back to plant a kiss on the underside of his mandible.

"Perhaps you shouldn't play the music so loud and keep your back to the door… I thought I taught you better than that. Are you asking for a knife in the back?" he rumbled in reply, smiling down at her.

She responded by wiggling her hips enticingly back against his armor, her eyes flashing with that smoldering look that had come to haunt his dreams.

"Depends on the knife…" she purred in Turian, her strange subharmonics teasing and flirtatious.

That drew an involuntary hiss from him, a soft growl forming in the back of his throat. He started to nuzzle into her neck, fluttering his mandibles over her skin. Maggie cooed happily and his talons gripped eagerly at her hips. Garrus let out a groan of frustration when she spun quickly, putting a hand on his chest and pushed him away.

"Dinner first… and I need to tell you something." She looked up at him and suddenly there seemed to be a sadness in her eyes. He tilted his head to the side, that bird-like gesture of confusion that she found so endearing. He swallowed the lump that had grown in his throat.

"Yeah. Me too."

She handed him a carton of food, picked up her own and headed for the couch. The tiny apartment had no space for dining tables and they tended to eat in front of the terminal that served as work, communications, and entertainment for them both.

"You go first," she offered. Her upbeat charm returned quickly as she shoveled food into her mouth.

He stared at his food, taking the pointy utensil in his talon and mushing it about without actually bringing any to his mouth.

"I tracked down Kishpaugh today and got him to talk." He reported stoically, his eyes locked on his food.

Maggie smiled at him, it's effect subdued by the dangly food bits hanging from her mouth.

"Mrafphf!" She mumbled with her mouth full and nodded at him eagerly to go on.

"The supply is coming from Omega. I'm going after the source. I stepped down from Spectre candidacy," he looked up at her to gauge her reaction. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

Her chewing slowed and she carefully set her carton of food down on the tiny coffee table. Her shoulders sagged slightly, but there was a strange sad smile to her eyes when she turned to him. She took his food from his talons, placing it on the table beside her own and took his talons in both of her hands. Her tiny hands dwarfed by his larger ones. She squeezed. Maggie looked like she was considering her words very carefully.

"Garrus… In the Alliance, there's this speci..." she began

...and Garrus' mouth was running before he could stop it.

"I want you to come with me." He blurted out

She stopped and stared at him. The smile vanished and her hands released his.

"W-What?"

Garrus refused to let her retreat, reaching out and taking her hands once more.

"I know I have no right to ask. But, come with me. Everything here is red-tape and diplomatic posturing. You've cursed the council for ignoring Shepard's warnings - they've done nothing. People are suffering and dying and they do nothing! Outside the regs, just the two of us, we could really change things for the better."

"You really mean this don't you? You're going to Omega, alone, to start a one-man..err… I mean Turian... war on drugs and mercs and you want  _me_ to go with you?"

"I wouldn't be alone if you were there."

"And, what about Cerberus and the Reapers?" she pushed his hands away and stood up, pacing the small space unsteadily. Her humor and smiles were gone. Her armor was stripped and she was exposed. He could practically see the emotions whirling through her. He was forcing her to choose.

Garrus lowered his head.

"I can't do anything about them. But, I can do something about this. I got a lead and I'm going to follow it."

The determination and pain echoed in Garrus' voice. Admitting he couldn't do anything about the Reapers was like admitting he was giving up on her brother. It had been almost a year since Shepard had died and every day the situation got worse. Garrus had finally admitted it was better to ease the suffering of people for the time they had left rather than prepare for the galactic war they both knew was coming. He couldn't bear to look at her. It felt like betrayal.

Maggie stopped pacing and stared at his back, as if her gaze could communicate the anger and hurt.

"You should have let me go first. I've been reassigned."

Garrus shifted to face her.

"Reassigned? Why? The reconstruction isn't complete yet."

Maggie looked away from him quickly, shifting uncomfortably. Telling him why was an act of treason. But, she couldn't lie to Garrus, either. He always saw right through it.

"...I see. What  _can_ you tell me?" Garrus sighed.

"I've been assigned to Horizon. It's some remote backwater colony."

"And, you're going?" Garrus asked, a hint of hope lacing the subvocals of his words.

"One of my engineers was threatened with a court martial for speaking out about the Reapers. He's defected to Cerberus..." she nearly spat the name "...He took some good people with him. The Alliance needs me now...I can't just walk away." She sighed, taking a few uncertain steps towards him. "...We both knew this wasn't forever, Garrus."

They were quiet for a long moment.

"I'm sorry..." Garrus leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs and bending his head low. "...I shouldn't have said anything. It was wrong of me to ask something like this of you."

Maggie smiled and knelt in front of him. She curled her fingers behind his fringe and pulled his forehead to her own forming "The Bond" and nuzzling him gently.

"Oh, Garrus. I'm glad you asked me to be your lawless vigilante girl. It's a beautiful dream. I wish I could. But, I can't leave this fight just like you can't leave yours. We don't have a future together unless we stop fighting. And, well… we wouldn't be us if we did."

Garrus winced at her words, looking away. Despite his best efforts he couldn't hide the bitter disappointment in his subharmonics.

"I understand."

She slipped her hand around his wrist, carefully pulling him towards the bedroom.

"If you leave tomorrow, we'd better make tonight something to remember then…"

* * *

Garrus blinked awake and tried to sit up. His body protested and he collapsed back into bed, aching, sore, exhausted, and feeling amazing.

"Spirits, Maggie… you weren't kidding about a night to remember…. Maggie?"

He glanced around the bedroom - even in the darkness he could still see clearly enough to realize she wasn't there. With a groan of effort, he managed to haul himself upright and into the shower.

He busied himself packing for his flight to Omega. He didn't have much apart from the armor and guns on his back, but a few essentials were necessary. By afternoon, Maggie hadn't returned and he was getting anxious. He looked around for his omni-tool to message her and couldn't find it. He spent a few more hours looking for it and growled in frustration. What if she was trying to reach him? He didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.

Garrus threw his pack over his armored shoulder, his weapons secured along his back and went to track her down. She wasn't with the SRR teams, and without the translator in his omni-tool he couldn't understand anything the bloody Humans were saying.

_Maggie wasn't as crazy as everyone thought to actually learn an alien language_ , he grumbled in frustration.

He was running short on time to make his flight so he gave up; resolving to buy an omni-tool on Omega and message her from there. He was nursing his lovesick bitterness and disappointment as he entered the busy transit station.

Standing near his appointed docking bay was Maggie, teetering on tiptoes and anxiously scanning the crowd. She beamed when she saw him, running over and jumping him with a full force hug. Garrus nearly dropped his pack and wrapped one arm around her; closing his eyes as he inhaled her scent.

"Ha! I'm not the one who's late... for once," Maggie gloated in Turian.

"I was looking all over for you. I couldn't find my omni-tool to message you."

"Oh yeah… about that." Maggie gently took his arm and placed a kiss on his wrist before latching his omni-tool to its accustomed place.

"What the... You took it?!"

"Well… of course."

"WHY!?"

"Have a look."

She pressed her back against him, curling his arm around her own body so their omni-tools were glowing side-by-side. She deftly fiddled her hands over her own and he could see a portion of her display appear on his - a new program was operating. From what he could tell, it was a direct and live two-way link to hers. He noted that there were half a dozen such programs running on her own display, data streaming in real-time.

"It took me all day to get the parts and components I needed… It's an entanglement modification I designed… hidden in the Council's own network and linking through my secure servers. As long as you're within a system or two of a Council or Alliance Com Buoy, you'll be able to reach me direct in real time."

"Isn't that illegal?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a sexy vigilante outside the law?"

"True. So,  _that's_  how you kept linked to your brother on the  _Normandy_. I always wondered."

Maggie smiled sadly, turning to face him. Instinctively, his hand went to the small of her back and pulled her close.

"You caught me," she teased. "It also gives you access to all my data storage; hacking programs, designs, and intel. Not  _exactly_ cleared for legal use...so be careful."

Garrus felt a warmth spread through his chest as he looked down at her, pressing his forehead softly to hers; the trust she was instilling in him said more than words.

"I'll message every month...at least," he said softly

Maggie felt tears pricking her eyes. Like with her brother, the conversation went unspoken. They just knew.

"You better… Otherwise, I  _will_ shoot you. And, I learned from the best sniper in the galaxy…"

"Oh did you now?" Garrus purred, finally setting down his pack and wrapping both arms around her.

"Yeah…" she whispered with a sultry teasing in her words. "He's good in the sack, too."

He kissed her then, hard, knowing it might be the last time and he let her know it too. She melted against him, her arms wrapping about his collar and her fingers raking under his fringe. They held this kiss until they ran out of breath and pulled away panting. He pressed his forehead again to hers, looking deeply into her eyes.

He felt her press something into his palm and he glanced down to see a credit chit placed there.

"Wha- Maggie, no. I'm not taking your credits," he protested as he tried to push her hand away

"They're not mine. It's unclaimed property from a suspected Cerberus agent who's suspiciously gone missing."

"You little devious pyjack you…" he purred to her with a grin.

She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him once more. He relished in the kiss, nuzzling her even as the PA system announced the final boarding call for Omega.

"When things calm down again, maybe I'll take some leave on Omega. I made a few friends there…" Maggie mused thoughtfully.

"We'll see…" Garrus muttered uncertainly.

Maggie reached up and adjusted his visor, her fingers lingering on the side of his mandible.

"Good hunting, handsome. Until our battles cross again."

Garrus started to respond, but simply couldn't find the words, so he nodded instead. Neither of them would ever say "goodbye." So, he took one last lingering look at her, caressed her check with the back of his talon, then headed for Omega.

* * *

Maggie had only been on Horizon for a week and knew immediately she wasn't happy here. It wasn't the colony's fault exactly. She had gotten used to the busy diverse noise of the Citadel. She had gotten used to Garrus' warmth next to her while she slept and a team that respected her, but didn't need to show it.

Her team was now scattered to the nine-winds for fear that Cerberus defection might be a contagious disease. It wasn't the colony's fault that everything she cared about was now gone.

"Sergeant Major Shepard. Like… Commander Shepard of the Normandy?" A fumbling moon-eyed private had asked her on the first day.

"There's a lot of Shepards out there." Maggie said dismissively, unconsciously adding Turian subharmonics to her speech. It just sounded gravelly to her cowering subordinate, adding to the intimidation. The next day she noticed quite a few of the fresh squad were sporting "Forever Normandy" memorial patches on their uniforms. The gesture only made her more surly and detached.

She still didn't know all the names of her team of thirty. She felt she was failing horribly as a leader.

_Goddamn you, John. You always made everything look so easy._

Horizon was like one big high desert. The air was thinner and dryer on this planet still fresh from terraforming. The strange orbital revolution led to the vast cycling of temperatures between scalding day and freezing night. Despite this, the dark amber soil seemed to hold amazing alien plant life. It made the whole planet feel like it resented the presence of animals in favor of plants.

Despite all it's shortcomings, Maggie wouldn't have been anywhere else in the Galaxy. Horizon was the primary staging area for Alliance counter-intelligence operations. Most every mid-ranking personnel on this backwater dirt heap was actually a covert specialist in disguise. It was the only posting that would allow her the freedom to go after Cerberus.

It was finally her first day of leave after extremely uncertain beginnings. So, Maggie responded to her problems in her typical fashion. She ran away, at least for a little while. Tonight, in dark civilian clothes and a long-heavy trench coat to fight against Horizon's night chill, she tumbled into the local bar seeking the bliss of alcoholic haze.

The locals were a surly, distrusting, and fiercely independent bunch. Horizon had a simple, stable economy and a lot of independent traders called it home. A few recognized her as one of the Alliance military contingent and gave her suspicious looks. Or, perhaps it was just because she was a woman alone in a bar. Horizon tended to reaffirm long out-dated societal notions, including sexism. Maggie found this amusing.

But, it was Maggie's nature that she'd never be alone for long. Within two hours, she had found herself the center of a small crowd. The tables and chairs of the tiny pub pushed together and the harsh patrons were surrounding her, laughing at her jests. Together, they all complained about the Alliance, about rookies, about loneliness.

You dig down deep enough and everyone's problems look the same.

"Look atcha, Maggizzle! You're a decent enough looking woman. You gotta have your pick of the tough lean soldiers."

"Why, Delan - you sound jealous!" Maggie teased.

Delan was actually speaking with a harsh and bitter sarcasm. He was a low-level mechanic who was more distrustful of the Alliance than most, but better with engines than the majority of her team. He was resentful because his childhood sweetheart ran off-planet with the first Alliance officer she could find.

_I know the names and stories of the locals more than my own recruits._  Magge reflected sullenly, the alcohol already clouding her thoughts.

"I ain't never gonna be jealous of no soldier. Ain't no substitute for free will."

"That's the beauty of soldiers. They're soldiers first, last, and always. They give everything for the cause! They go where the battle takes them. Even if that's six feet bloody under. What do the rest of us do but leech off their strength..."

_If only I was a good soldier...like John. Then I wouldn't have so many doubts._  The alcohol-fueled thoughts nagged at the back of her mind.

Maggie focused back on the reality around her and frowned at the silence her resentful comment had provoked in the bar. Her darkness had killed the otherwise jovial and drunken complaining session. She studied the men around her and sighed, pushing herself back from the table.

"Sorry to be a buzz-kill, lads. Next round is on me."

That prompted cheers and the happy energy was renewed. She threw down a credit chit on the table to cover the costs and stumbled drunkenly back out into the darkened streets.

Later she reflected, Garrus would have been furious at her for failing to notice the three figures that followed her into the night.

* * *

Cerberus Operative and Project Lazarus Director Miranda Lawson stared in disbelief at the tall dark man standing on the opposite side of her desk. She was very rarely surprised. She had a MENSA level intellect coupled with advanced tactical training and logic pattern recognition. Combine her engineered "natural" gifts and Cerberus' intelligence gathering network, there was rarely a situation that did not respond  _exactly_  as she predicted.

But, this turn of events was truly unforeseen.

"They failed to secure a genetic sample?"

"That's correct, Ma'am. All three are recovering in the infirmary," Jacob responded stiffly. He'd worked with the woman for just over a year. He knew her well enough to read through her collected exterior. She hadn't been expecting this.

"But, we confirmed her identification?"

"Voice recognition software confirms 98% match."

"Would you care to explain to me how three combat experts that you  _personally_ trained failed to ambush an isolated, intoxicated, unarmed girl?"

"I'd like to find that out myself, Ma'am." Jacob's voice was hard.

He didn't hide his feelings like Miranda did. He was angry, the girl had made him and his men look like a fool. And, he especially hated looking like a fool in front of Miranda.

"Send me the data and surveillance footage. Then, see to your team."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Miranda watched the footage from the failed undercover assault. She noted the body language, vocal tones, and manipulative nature of her target in her drunken sulking at the bar. She watched the Cerberus strike team stalk her through the dark streets of Horizon. When violence began, the footage ended abruptly with static. The last image before the team's cameras were disabled was the young woman's silhouette, coat billowing, behind the searing red flare of a incineration burst from her omni-tool.

She compared what she observed with the notes from Kai Leng's recruiting report and she kept coming back to the same conclusion.

"And, you believe you can take her alive?" the Illusive man asked after she presented her findings. His strange artificial eyes peered through her, as if he could read her very thoughts through the quantum entanglement projection.

"Yes," Miranda confirmed confidently. "Biologically speaking, her genetic material would be invaluable to the Project. Doctor Johnson believes it will improve our chances of success by 32%. After we succeed, the control we could exert by-"

"No, Miranda," the Cerberus leader interrupted firmly. "We've been over this already. No modifications or inducements. He'll be no good to us if we kidnap his family and hold them hostage. We need him as he was. Pure and uncompromised. If you need her genetic material, bribe a few Alliance troopers to get some hair or skin samples. We have plenty of agents on Horizon."

"But, sir, it's very likely she's CISO. Our sources show-"

"Are you questioning my orders, Miranda?"

"No, sir."

"Just keep her under surveillance."

"Yes, sir," the Operative relented. "I'll make the necessary arrangements."


	21. Interlude 1: Messages

******Cerberus Surveillance File #3518613 - Alliance Engineering Corps 4th Division - Sergeant Major Margaret Lynn Shepard, Alliance Counter-Intelligence Stealth Operations (CISO) Officer - Codename "Barbara" - personal correspondence - Horizon Terminal ******

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: August 7, 2184  
Subject: Reaching me on Horizon

Hey G -

Head's up this is an unsecured message terminal. Horizon's sun throws up too much interference - puts my omni-tool out of Comm Buoy range for about 15 hours each day. I just wanted to let you know - you can still reach me through these channels during those hours - my Corps addresses are attached. If things are dicey and I don't reply here - you know how to reach me and I'll pick up the messages on the other side of the sun.

Hope you're kicking ass -

~ M

PS. Food here sucks.

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: September 15, 2184  
Subject: Call your sister

Seriously - call her. She said she hadn't heard from you in 5 months. Also, I told her you were exterminating varren and I don't think she realized I was kidding.

How goes the  _varren_  hunting anyway? You realize I'm allergic to varren. Kill 'em all!

Miss you,

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: October 31, 2184  
Subject: Halloween on Horizon

Hey G -

Most depressing holiday ever. Little children dressing up like my brother for candy. Some are even dressing up as Sovereign or Saren. I think I'm getting really drunk tonight...really really drunk. And maybe getting into a fist fight.

And no, that doesn't count as "getting into trouble."

Wish there were some other ways to blow off steam around here.. hint hint nudge nudge.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: November 1, 2184  
Subject: Re: Re: Halloween on Horizon

yrour sexytyis turiasn face doesngt'g get to tell me wehsat tpo pucnhy. Thwey all had it comignf ro the wauy they talk ao0but him - you wolldnt' beleve the peopiole here. good old fasweohioned bar brawl; stai9ghted that shit out. they'll think twicee next ti9me they talk about alliasnce marines and jo-jo liek that.

I miss you - you carry me homne better than anayone and have the best wauy of p[tting me epto bed. stupid gravity

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: November 1, 2184  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Halloween on Horizon

Light burns my brain. Message you tomorrow.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: November 28, 2184  
Subject: Cargo bay Varen-traps

Hey handsome -

I got your message about the cargo-bay scenario. It seems like your  _varren_  infestation is more clever than you thought. Booby trap the access panel - preferably with explosives to create a distraction - failing that - try wiring the station power source through the panel. When your  _varren_  hack themselves free, they are actually electrocuting themselves. Elegant, no?

~M

PS. Tell me more about your  _big guns,_  Romeo…

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: November 28, 2184  
Subject: Re: Re: Cargo bay Varren-traps

Yum - You had me at "explosive rounds" - and no, I'm still not letting you live that down.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: December 20, 2184  
Subject: Disturbing visitors

G -

Terrorist shitheads tried to jump me again - get in touch with me ASAP when signal clears.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: January 18, 2185  
Subject: Re: Happy Birthday

I have no words… that was the best birthday message ever. I promise I won't let anyone know what a softie you are under your sexy tough-guy exterior.

When I actually do sleep, I dream about you, too.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: February 22, 2185  
Subject: Re: Happy New Year, pyjack

Someday you'll have to actually explain to me how your calendar works - I'm so glad galactic standard space time was established by the Salarians

XoXoXo

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: March 10, 2185  
Subject: Fleet & Flotilla

Hey lover -

Stop whatever you're shooting and go see this vid. Seriously. Do it. Now! You're still reading and not watching. The audio-file from my favorite scene is attached to this message. I am not ashamed to admit I cried like… 3 times during this vid.

~M

PS. That song totally makes me think about you...every time.

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: April 11, 2185  
Subject: Target practice

Hey coach -

Just got back from getting thoroughly chewed out by the brass. I snuck off to practice shooting with your Mantis - the shots prompted reports - the local marines investigated those reports. Long-story short, they figured out who my brother was and challenged me to prove who was the best shot.

I won.

But, for future reference - it's considered unprofessional behavior to shoot smiley faces in local monuments at 500 yards.

Hope I did ya proud.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: May 3, 2185  
Subject: Re: Credit Transfers

That's an AWFUL lot of credits…Should be no trouble to get them to Solana. I'll do what I can to help. I'll check in when I'm back on a secure line.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: June 27, 2185  
Subject: Very rough day

Hey G -

I don't know if the reports have reached you yet - but the human colony of Fehl Prime was lost. Making a lot of folks here in the outter colonies  _very_ nervous. As if the locals weren't hard enough to deal with already.

Could really use to hear your voice about now…

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: July 19, 2185  
Subject: Haven't heard from you….

Getting worried… please message soon.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: July 31, 2185  
Subject: Where the hell are you?

I'm hearing lots of scary reports coming out of Omega. Let me know you're ok.

~M

To: AAAangel3564*anon-omega  
From: MightyMaggie*shepnet-oracle  
Date: August 7, 2185  
Subject: Seriously….send a damn message

G -

You're really scaring me. Send me a damn message or I swear on my brother's memory I will take the next transport out to that shit hole station, track you down, and beat you within an inch of your life!

~M


	22. Chapter 18: Awakening

**"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." - Jane Howard**

"You're doing great, Shepard. Head to the next door. Shepard? Do you read me? I've got mechs closing in on your position. SHEPARD?!"

The Director of Project Lazarus, Miranda Lawson, cursed and punched the console when she lost her communications feed to the Commander. He was awake, armed, and moving. She'd confirmed that much. Now, she was cut off from him and any other survivors on the station. There was nothing more she could do to help. Some third party firewall had dropped into the station's Communications network and effectively silenced any of her outgoing signals. It was also tracking her position.

Shit.

Miranda closed her eyes and focused . She pushed away the panic, anger, and fear until the situation lay before her like pieces of a giant jigsaw puzzle. She knew those codes. She couldn't break them, but she knew them. Alliance Counter-Intelligence tech without a doubt. That meant there had to be an infiltration team or two on the station. If they hacked the security mechs, they had to have internal access. Miranda followed that train of logic and opened her eyes when she had her answer. The security feed only confirmed her suspicions.

Ahhh…Dr. Wilson. You cowardly traitorous worm.

But, she didn't have time to worry about that now. Her location was being identified to every hacked mech in the station and they were all converging on her position. She had seconds to act. Using her executive override sequencing, she fire-crashed the system and destroyed every byte of data in the whole facility. She couldn't risk valuable Cerberus research falling into Alliance hands.

She'd barely managed to finish before the mechs arrived in droves.

Miranda was faster than the drones, ducking for cover and firing steady bursts with her SMG. When she found herself pinned, she used a biotic warp attack to peel apart a group of mechs at the molecular level. The energy gave her barriers enough strength for an open sprint to the offices on the far side of D wing. The offices created a solid choke-point for the mechs to bottleneck and allowed her access to the shuttle bay if she needed to fall back. But, that was a last resort.

She wouldn't leave without Shepard.

Even with the strategic advantage, Miranda was still up to her ears in hostile mechs. It took all her tricks and skills to hold the D Wing offices. In the middle of the fiercest combat, her omni-tool activated of it's own volition and a hologram image of the boss appeared over her shoulder. The Illusive Man was seated calmly, smoking a cigarette and nursing a drink.

"We've just lost contact with Lazarus station. What's your status?" he asked casually.

Miranda overloaded a mech while diving for cover. The hologram image bobbed and wobbled as she moved her wrist, then flickered as bullets passed through it. Miranda growled irritably at her boss.

"I'm a little bloody busy at the moment! We're under attack. Wilson's a traitor."

"CISO?" The Illusive Man asked calmly. He used that frustrating tone which implied he already knew the answer. CISO was the acronym for the Alliance's Counter-Intelligence Stealth Operations. The Council had the Spectres, the Salarians had the STG and the Alliance had CISO. One infiltration team in particular had been gunning for Miranda for over a year. It was how she recognized their tech.

"Probably," Miranda grumbled as she loaded a fresh heat-sink into her SMG.

"You've purged the data?" The head of Cerberus sounded like he was reprimanding a child.

"Yes. I'm not a bloody amateur."

"And, Shepard?"

Miranda aimed a final burst of gunfire then stepped out into the open hallways as the last mech fell.

"He's alive. I won't leave without him." The slender woman emphasized her words by jamming the heel of her boot into a twitching mech's head.

"Good. I'd like to speak with him when you're secure. If you lose him, don't bother coming back."

"Yes, sir," Miranda grumbled and the hologram blinked out of existence.

The Director of Project Lazarus moved through the piles of destroyed mechs, stripping them of weapons and heat sinks with a calm, ruthless efficiency. She'd just about finished when the hairs on the back of her neck crawled up the back of her head like they were trying to become a Turian's fringe. She threw herself forward just in time to avoid the incineration blast that screamed through the space her head had occupied a fraction of a second before.

She reacted on instinct, rolling away from the danger and releasing a biotic strike of her own. It was pure luck that Miranda's biotic field caught her hidden assailant right in the chest. The largest women Miranda had ever seen fizzled into existence midair as her infiltration cloak failed. Miranda's biotic push flung the Alliance agent across the space and she careened into the opposite wall with a crunch.

Miranda stared in disbelief.

Despite obvious injury, the large woman lifted a pistol and tried to level it at the Miranda. The Cerberus Operative jumped into action and the slugs from Miranda's SMG penetrated the Infiltrator's already depleted shields. Blood spattered across the woman's Alliance armor and she slumped.

"Jelly… NO!"

It was a man's voice that cracked with emotion as he called to his fallen comrade. Suddenly, assault rifle shots ricocheted off Miranda's barriers from another invisible source. She spun, scrambling for cover behind a barricade while unleashing an overload command on the enemy's cloak and shields.

This time her strikes hit with precision, not luck. She knew how to counter Alliance tech and the shots had stupidly revealed the man's position. From behind cover, Miranda sprayed with her SMG wildly. She didn't expect any of the bullets to hit; she just wanted to keep her assailant pinned down while she gathered her biotic strength.

She waited for a pause in the shooting then lept from cover with an outstretched hand, releasing her built up biotic strike. To her amazement, the man she was fighting was also a biotic and had been preparing the exact same maneuver. The two biotic attacks met halfway, detonating an explosion and sending both warriors flying in opposite directions.

The man hit the wall hard and crumpled at the base of the stairs. With the gifts of her carefully engineered breeding, Miranda managed to absorb her momentum in a roll and quickly regained the upper hand.

She stalked slowly towards the disabled man, his infiltrator cloak buzzing as his shields fizzled, still damaged from her overload assault. She dropped the empty SMG, drew her pistol, and without any hesitation she shot the man twice in the chest.

His body jerked with the impact and his hand dropped away from his omni-tool.

"You lose," he said simply with a wet bloody cough.

Miranda looked down at the man's omni-tool display and noticed the countdown ticking backwards from eight minutes.

7:58...7:57...7:56…

"Bloody hell," Miranda cursed.

She turned and sprinted for the shuttle bay where she ran smack into Jacob, Shepard, and Wilson.

Sometimes, you get lucky, Miranda thought as she shot the traitor in the throat. Despite their mistrust and grumbling, she got Jacob and Shepard safely through the relay before Lazarus Station exploded.

All in all, a good day's work.

* * *

 

On a remote Cerberus operations station, Miranda stepped into the holographic circle to make her report to the Illusive Man. As always, she was efficient, succinct, and accurate. She studied her boss' hologram as she retold the events, hoping to catch a flicker of some kind of reaction. Her efforts were in vain as she knew they would be. The Illusive Man was the picture of a poise and composure. He never let any clues slip.

You don't get to be the head of Cerberus by collecting bottle caps.

"...After eliminating the infiltration team, I proceeded to the shuttle bay where I encountered Operative Taylor, Dr. Wilson and the subject. I eliminated Dr. Wilson then extracted Taylor and Shepard," she finished.

"But, the CISO Officer still managed to set the explosives?"

Miranda winced slightly at the subtle rebuke her boss was implying.

"Yes. There was an eight minute delay. Enough time to extract to a safe distance."

"And, Shepard?"

"Initial field tests on the subject demonstrate full recollection, cognitive functioning, and moral reasoning," Miranda droned on. "Combat abilities are unhindered - if anything, they are improved. The cybernetics and muscle enhancements have increased his speed, accuracy, and endurance. I don't think he has fully realized the extent of the improvements."

"Well done, Miranda." The Illusive Man almost smiled. Praise like that was rare indeed. It soothed the earlier reprimand. "So, tell me what you're not telling me."

Miranda frowned. She really thought she'd managed just as good of a poker face as her boss. Yet, he still saw right through it.

"I do have some… concerns, sir. Nothing conclusive...just..." Miranda hesitated, unable to find the right word.

"Instinct?" The Illusive Man suggested. "Our species has survived on our instincts for millennia, Miranda. Don't discount yours on account of your genetic engineering. Tell me." There was a fatherly pride and command to his tone.

Miranda relented.

"There were only two Officers on the Infiltration team - Alliance ground teams are almost always three. The two ignored the labs and went straight to my location. I believe there was a third, sir. But, that something went wrong. That's why the Alliance Infiltrator set the bombs on a delay, giving his teammate time to escape...time to complete some other objective."

"I see. I'll look into it and I'll let you know what I find. Anything else, Miranda?"

"About Shepard, sir. He's responding differently from what I'd expect based on his reports. I don't think we should trust him."

"I'll be the judge of that. I'd like to speak with him now."

"Yes, sir. Operative Lawson out."

* * *

 

The newly resurrected Commander John Shepard stepped away from his "meeting" with the Illusive Man in a foul mood.

Miranda waited patiently for him just outside the door and met him with a cool smile.

"Commander," she greeted him. "I've taken the liberty of securing an assortment of weapons for our use. As soon as you're ready, the shuttle is prepped to take us to Freedom's Progress. Jacob and I can brief you enroute."

"Where's the mess?"

"... the what?" Miranda asked.

"The mess… the chow hall… the cafeteria. You know? Food?"

"This facility is a small operations base. There is no cafeteria. There are rations in the shuttle if you need to eat. We have our orders - we should get going," Miranda said impatiently.

"I want a hot meal, a shower and a terminal to contact my family." Shepard demanded, crossing his arms over his chest and sinking into a hip.

"We don't have time fo-"

Shepard cut her off with a growl. "I've been dead for two years. I want a goddamn shower."

Miranda studied the man for a moment then her lips quirked into a mischievous smile.

"Alright. This way."

Shepard followed the Cerberus operative through the twisting corridors of the space station until they entered what looked like a residential area. They crossed several smaller barracks-style accommodations and eventually arrived at an expansive and expensively furnished apartment. Miranda moved into the space with the relaxed gait of someone returning home, tossing her SMG casually on the bed.

"Shower's through there. Terminal is in the office here. It's secure, but keep in mind Cerberus monitors all outgoing communications."

"I don't appreciate being spied on. I'll contact my family later. These are your quarters?" Shepard looked around suspiciously.

Miranda answered with a vague shrug. "When I pass through this way. Is there anything else you need, Commander?"

Shepard ignored the subtle implications to her words and glanced around the opulent accommodations. He suddenly felt like an Elcor in a china shop.

"No. Thank you. This is more than adequate."

"Good. I'll see if I can track down a meal that doesn't come out of a tube." That said, she turned on a heel and disappeared again out the door.

Shepard peered at the terminal suspiciously. He may not be able to send any outgoing communications without Cerberus putting their claws all over them, but that didn't mean he couldn't find out about his family. He sat himself in front of the console and typed in his slow two-fingered style.

It didn't take him long, even with his limited technological abilities, but he found exactly what he was looking for. Cerberus had everyone in his life under surveillance. At least, the ones they could find. He scrolled through surveillance photos of Liara, his mother, Anderson, Ashley, Tali, and Wrex. They were all spread through the galaxy, unreachable, or untraceable according to the Cerberus files. Especially Garrus, who had gone off the grid entirely. The most recent surveillance footage of the Turian was from over a year before. He was on the Citadel with his arms encircled provocatively around…

"Maggie?!" he said her name out loud in a strangled cry. He shook his head in disbelief and forced himself to look at the surveillance photo again.

Yup. That was definitely Maggie playing tonsil hockey with a Turian. And, not just any Turian. That was Garrus fucking Vakarian. Shepard tilted his head to the side curiously as he looked at the image.

How did they even... Shepard shuddered and stopped himself before his imagination treated him to an image he'd regret for life. He slammed the terminal closed with unnecessary force.

He definitely felt like he needed a shower and Cerberus had spared no expense for Miranda's comfort. For a kid who grew up in space, nothing in the galaxy is more decadent than a piping hot unrestricted shower.

If I am still dead, this must be what heaven feels like, Shepard sighed to himself as he relaxed beneath the running water. The stings and pains he'd been blocking out since waking began to slowly melt away.

Shepard wasn't totally healed and even the gentle pressure of the water over his skin sent pain twitching through him. Where he didn't have pain he had electrifying tingles as if his limbs had fallen asleep and were damned lazy about getting back to work.

Is this really my body? Shepard wondered as gazed down at himself.

His torso and thighs were criss-crossed with fresh red scars, patchy skin grafts, and in some places he could even see the cheery blinking lights of the cybernetics beneath his skin. His eyes were sharper now as well. He could focus on tiny details or long distances with perfect clarity. He'd noticed that during the fight back on Lazarus Station, but hadn't taken the time to understand it.

And, the strength too. He'd damn near broken the handle off the shower when he tried to turn it on. Shepard was re-training himself to carefully move through the world like it was made of cardboard so he wouldn't break furniture or delicate electronics. He glanced down at his fingers, opening and closing his fist experimentally and watching the cybernetic components ripple beneath his skin.

What was that old monster called, Shepard wondered to himself. Ah, right. Frankenstein...wait...no that was the Doctor.

His imagination treated him to an image of his former crew, chasing him off the Normandy, with fire and pitchforks. He grit his teeth and forced the fears away. That couldn't happen anyhow. The Normandy was scrap metal. Watching his home explode was the last thing he remembered before...

...deceased...departed…croaked...KIA...end of the line...bit the bullet...bought the farm...assumed room temperature…made the ultimate sacrifice...

Dead.

Shepard shuddered again as his stomach tried to crawl up his gullet for freedom. His chest tightened, his mouth went dry, and his heartbeat pounded in his ears. With an iron will, he forced his mind to stillness.

Instead, Shepard turned to face the spicket, dipped his head under the running water, and pressed his palms against the shower wall. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what his body had been like before he died.

He pictured his last shower on the Citadel. His dusky skin pale from the lack of UV exposure on the Normandy and muscles lean and strong. He was fit and healthy then. He only had the fading scars from Akuze. He tallied them. The odd puckered star in the shape of a Rachni claw on his thigh. He remembered it. And, the polymer cast on his arm. He felt a phantom itch. He remembered the feel of his dogtags around his neck, dangling as the water flowed over his head, freshly buzzed to keep within regulations.

In his mind's eye, he remembered Liara's hands curling about his six pack when the Asari maiden pressed her own naked body against his back.

"Do your injuries still bother you?" she'd asked years before. Shepard closed his eyes and lost himself in the memory. In his rational mind, he knew the memory was over two years old. Yet, it still felt like it happened only a few days ago. Water rushed over his face, blocking out all other sounds and sensations except for the remembered images and words.

"A bit."

"The pain isn't the only thing bothering you." She could read him so easily. She knew his every thought after they'd joined.

"I'm not cut out for this. I'm a soldier, not a diplomat. I can't stand these politicians."

"It's not about what we are or who we work with. It's about what is needed of us. Remember why you fight, Shepard." She comforted him from memory.

"Because I'm a soldier. It's my job."

"But, why did you become a soldier?"

Shepard let out a bitter and remorseful laugh. In the present, the movement caused a sharp pain to roll up his side. He redoubled his focus on the memory."You've been in my head, Liara. You know why."

"That doesn't mean I don't like to hear you say it."

"I'm a soldier so that someday we won't need soldiers."

"Remember that, Shepard. No matter how unpleasant our task or even our allies, we do what we must."

The memory faded into the recesses of his mind and Shepard pulled himself back to the present. His naked back was pressed against the cool metal wall and deliciously hot water sheeted over his mangled body. At some point, he had dropped to the floor of the shower, hugging his knees against his chest as hidden cybernetics whispered to one another beneath his skin.

He was aching to the very marrow of his bones.

And, he was sobbing.

For the first time in his life, Shepard had no one left to call upon. He was completely and entirely on his own and it terrified him.

He'd never felt so horribly alone.


	23. Chapter 19: Archangel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> Drksyders here – I'm sorry I missed posting recently. I threw a birthday party for one of our TEAM (Happy Birthday, Albert!) and proceeded to battle the mighty foes of sickness and work-required travel. I'll be back on target in the future!
> 
> There are super spoilers for the Mass Effect Homeworlds comic book ahead. If you haven't read the comic books, I highly recommend them! But, this is going to reveal a lot of the Garrus vignette. The comic story is told as a final message from Garrus, a last will and testament, as he faces his own death on the bridge in Omega. The only change here is that his last message is being left to Maggie. Aside from that, this is all cannon. In fact, I pretty much quote Garrus' comic book dialogue verbatim. Bioware, please don't sue.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 19: Archangel**

" _Hey-oo! You've reached the mighty Maggie messaging system. If you're getting this it means I'm on the wrong side of the sun for 15 hours or so and your let me crack open your omni-tool. Or, you're some kind of crazy amazing hacker, in which case, leave me a message, we should compare notes._

_But, if you're one of my dearest loved ones, you should also leave me a message and I'll get back to you when I circle 'round the sun. MUWAH!"_

Garrus had seen the message dozens of times before - whenever he tried to reach Maggie during the solar interference. With a sinking feeling, he realized it was the closest he'd ever come to hearing her say she loved him; and it was just a stupid recorded message where she ended by "blowing a kiss" at her own omni-tool.

Garrus tried to still the panic rising in his chest; or that might have just been the stims. He'd been on this bridge, without sleeping, bathing, and barely eating, for almost three days. It was only a matter of time until he made a mistake. One mistake was likely all it would take to prove fatal.

Here he was, pinned, cornered, and facing certain death; but, the only thing he really wanted was to hear a tiny Human girl from across the galaxy say three little words. Like that would somehow make his death meaningful. Perhaps, it was just the one thing he needed to know he'd done right.

He spared a quick glance down the kill-zone to make sure it was still clear. The mercs seemed to have settled for the moment. It would take them at least another six to eight minutes to herd their hired guns into position for another attack. He could watch their shadows move and bicker behind cover. He glanced back to his wrist where her hologram image smiled warmly at him.

"Maggie…"

His voice shook around her name. He paused and took a breath. His father's words echoed in his head.

_This is exactly when you try harder…_

He smiled, a sense of peace settling over him. Killing mercs, disrupting their operations, even this last stand of bullets and blood he'd cornered himself in; that was easy compared to really facing the truth.

He started again.

"Hey pyjack - I'm sorry it's been so long since my last message. This is likely the last I'll be able to send. There's so much that was left unsaid between us. That's the one thing I can get right; despite everything else that has gone so very wrong..."

Garrus almost choked on the fury in his own voice, thinking of his squad, his work at C-Sec, even Shepard. Everything he had failed. He held onto that rage.

He'd need it in the fight.

"So, the  _varren_  got smart - they got me cornered and…. Just when I think they've run out of bodies to throw at me, the reinforcements arrive. This looks like the end of the run. Garrus Vakarian's last stand."

He chuckled at the notion, spared a quick glance to ensure there were no additional threats, and then looked back to his omni-tool.

"If this  _is_  the end, then this recording you're now hearing is my final reckoning. I'm setting things straight. Because when the Omega gangs tell this story, it will all be  _lies_. Propaganda they'll use against  _anyone_  who dares stand up against their lawlessness. I can't let that happen. Everything I've done here - everything I've  _stood_  for - began long before I came to this damn station. It all started…."

He laid it all out in that message. Everything he'd ever held back from her, everything he'd even held back from himself. He talked about his mother's hit and run accident, giving up his scholarship to take care of her, resigning himself to becoming a C-Sec Officer and following in his father's footsteps. He described serving under his father and how lost and helpless he'd felt and how serving with Shepard gave him a path, a life and even hope.

"Then everything changed. Sovereign attacked the citadel and it was devastated. It was horrific. At the time, it was hard to see a way forward. The citadel would be repaired, but how could life ever go back to what it was before? It turns out, very easily. All it takes is a girl…a girl who laughs in the face of everything, even the Reapers..."

He paused again to check his surroundings. The mercs were still regrouping. They were getting ready though. The attack would come soon. Garrus pulled his rifle against his shoulder before he continued.

"It turns out, it's also easier to pretend a tragedy never happened -that a problem never existed-than to deal with it directly. Easier for  _some_ , fed up with all the citadel's  _red tape_ , I took matters into my own hands...Omega. Everything I'd heard about this place made it sound like a real cesspool. A station full of thugs kicking the helpless. It's time someone kicked back. This place was  _exactly_  what I needed. The only question was where to start."

Garrus told her about Omega, even all the pieces he'd never told her for her own protection. He described how he met Sidonis, put his team together, their activities, and their successes.

"We weren't out to get rich, but after a while the credits started piling up. And that's when things started getting murky...But more wealth also complicated motivations. Some started seeing a future  _after_  the fighting, settling down. Living Well… _Without you_ , I wanted none of that. Instead of listening to them-understanding-I pushed them even  _harder_. I drove them to their limits. My own feelings got in the way. Blinded me. I couldn't see the cracks in the seams…It was  _my_ fault, all of it."

He spared a quick glance at the bridge. The first heads were starting to peek out over cover. He stopped talking and dropped a Batarian, splattering it's blood on the nearby freelancers. That seemed to give the others pause. He'd have to make this quick.

"I'm sorry I won't get to show you around Palaven like I promised and I know you'll keep an eye on Solana for me. I'm really glad for the time we had together. I lo..."

Garrus hesitated then. He just couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"Shepard always said that Alliance thing... See you on the other side. Well, I'll see you on the other side, Maggie. Probably at the bar."

Garrus shut off his omni-tool before he had too much time to think; he didn't need any more regrets. He steadied his rifle, sighting at the next merc who popped his head out from cover. He took a breath, he held it, and let his finger embrace the trigger until the familiar recoil butted against his armor. The merc's head exploded in his scope.

For some reason, in that moment, Garrus thought about his father; about every argument, every angry word, and every lecture. His father had tried to drill into him the value of doing things right, safe, not taking risks; how procedures and laws protected people so they could come home to their families, even when it let the perps go free. All those lessons about caution and structure and how hard Garrus had fought not to listen. And, how it had cost him everything.

More mercenaries crossed the bridge; Garrus' talons were dancing across the rifle, firing to the easy rhythm of "Fire in the Courtyard" from the  _Fleet and Flotilla_  soundtrack in his visor. Maggie had sent him that song.

He popped the heat sink and loaded another. It must've been the merc's plan from the beginning. Get one of the squad to crack then strike from within. A divided Archangel could be conquered and Garrus had let it happen. He was so blinded by his anger; lamenting a lost future he'd never have, that he'd missed the big picture entirely.

Another heat sink. And, that's it. End of the line. Only one loose end to tie up - he spared a few seconds to activate his omni-tool once more and returned to firing.

"Hello?" A familiar voice answered the call and Garrus felt his spine stiffen automatically at the sound.

"Dad."

"Garrus? Is that you? What's all that noise?"

"Just a little target practice."

"Then call me back later," his father dismissed him.

"I don't think I'll be able to do that," Garrus shot back. "Too many targets."

"...I see." His old man was suddenly deadly serious.

"I just wanted to hear your voice. Wanted to know how retirement was treating you. You good?"

"I'm fine. Forget about that."

"Listen, I don't have a lot of time. I wanted to say...you were right about things. A lot more than I gave you credit for. And, I'm sorry we butted heads so much."

"I said forget about that. These targets you're practicing on - they moving fast?"

"So far, not fast enough. But they're learning."

"How are your thermal clips?"

"You know how it is. Could always use a couple more."

Garrus had managed to turn aside the first wave of attackers. He noticed the second wave had an odd grouping; one set of humans moving distinctly from the rest.

"Work with what you've got, then. You don't stop pulling that trigger until it  _clicks_ , son… No matter how bad things are falling apart around you, as long as you have at least  _one_  bullet left, you can still get the job done. Understand?"

Garrus wasn't responding to his father, he was focused on his scope. One human, leading the splinter group was moving with a hauntingly familiar speed and grace while mercilessly gunning down a dozen mercs from behind. The sudden betrayal caught all the groups off-guard and the attack dissolved into disorganized chaos.

Garrus adjusted his scope and followed his apparent new allies with his visor, his heart leaping at the sight of the N-7 logo proudly displayed on the Human's chest. He followed the armor upward and took a moment to double check that his visor hadn't been hacked. There's no way he could be seeing the man he thought he was seeing.

"You finish up what you have to do there, and then you come on home to Palaven. We have a lot to sort out…" his father was still talking.

"Yeah, we do. Thanks, Dad. For Everything. I have to go now. Don't worry about me...I'll make it home when I can. The odds just got a lot better."

Garrus launched a concussive round and hit that N-7 logo spot on; gloating to himself as the shields around Shepard sputtered. It was a playful shot - a welcome home to a long lost friend.

_That's for being dead, you lying, traitorous badass MAGNIFICENT son-of-a-bitch._ Garrus laughed to himself.

* * *

Miranda was rolling her eyes and making over-dramatic frustrated sighs at every turn. She had "suggested" that they attend to the Salarian Professor first. But, just because she had suggested it; Shepard deliberately chose not to do it. Instead, he chose to locate and rescue the rogue vigilante "Archangel." It was all the more satisfying to see her huff and puff about it every step of the way and still be entirely powerless to dissuade him.

It was  _almost_ as satisfying as her reactions to his shameless flirting and dancing with the young Asari strippers back at Afterlife. That seemed to earn him as much respect with Aria as it lost him with Miranda. Shepard was quite comfortable with that. He couldn't deny the dark allure of Afterlife and Omega. Drawing weapons on Batarian street gangs and forcing xenophobic bartenders to drink their own poison. It made him feel like he was a pirate king towering with overwhelming force over his subjects. Shepard was reveling in his own drunken power.

To make things even better, he just got hired as a freelancer for fewer credits than just one of his rifle modifications were worth. Judging by the way these mercs strutted like over-stuffed peacocks; putting them down was going to be the most fun he'd had since waking up.

As he led his own personal Cerberus lapdogs to the transport station, he looked around at the people of Omega and his momentary revelry vanished. Sometimes, it was good to be reminded of whose backs really bore the burdens. Archangel may be some idealistic vigilante; but, you could judge a man by the quality of his enemies.

The worst of the worst were joining forces to work against this guy. Archangel, whoever he was, was a good man. But, the more Shepard learned as he moved through the staging area, the more the future of this good man was looking grim.

Shepard could see himself in another life pinned against odds just as unfathomable with nothing more than his rifle and his team fighting on the side of righteousness and life. Just like that, he felt a piece of his old self creep out from the back of his mind. Grim determination was set on his face. They were going to save this man from a trifecta dirty drug-peddling mercs. Period.

He borrowed a page from Garrus' playbook and hacked the Eclipse's own heavy mech to turn it against it's masters. Then, to deal with the gunship.

"You're working too hard." Shepard purred to the Batarian Sergeant before jabbing the power inverter into his armor. The shields flared and the smell of cooked flesh filled the room.

_Fun fact about mercs, you never feel bad no matter what you do to them_. Shepard grinned to himself.

"Doesn't look like Archangel has got much time." Jacob observed somberly, watching the young kid who hitched a ride with them dart into the open ground.

Miranda rolled her eyes at the inevitable and turned towards Shepard.

"Well, let's not wait around too long."

Shepard hurdled the wall just in time to watch the kid and two of the other freelancers die with pristine long-range shots. He looked up to the top of the bridge and caught the quickest flicker of a blue armored Turian. Recognition pawed at the back of his mind and he frowned to himself.

"Come on. We'll give these guys a surprise of our own."

* * *

"Archangel?"

The fully armored Turian held up a gloved talon, obviously still concentrating on the kill zone. Shepard fumed inwardly. The shots, the skill, and the tactical brilliance of this man stirred so many memories. Memories of a friend who moved on to a life without him. A life with his sister. Shepard forced away the emotions and calmed his breathing as he holstered his assault rifle against his back.

The shot rang out. Another enemy dead. Archangel removed his helmet and seated himself amongst the supply crates. He moved with a casual and relaxed grace, as if he'd just sat down on the floor in Shepard's quarters on the old  _Normandy_ with two bottles between them.

"Shepard. I thought you were dead."

The Turian subharmonics were laced with a flurry of dark emotions and exhaustion completely overshadowed by Shepard's enthusiastic reaction.

"Garrus! What are you doing here?!" He would've hugged the Turian, but something about Garrus' voice gave him pause.

"Just keeping my skills sharp. A little target practice."

"You ok?"

Garrus breathed out a sigh. A simple question with too many complex answers.

"Been better. But, it sure is good to see a friendly face. Killing mercs is hard work, especially on my own."

Shepard tried to put the pieces together in his own mind; he'd thought Garrus was still on the Citadel… with his sister. The thought of them living a happy, domestic life together had given him some small solace in this mess. But, here he was, alone and firing defiantly at certain death.

"What are you doing out here on Omega?"

"I got fed up with all the bureaucratic crap on the Citadel. Figured I could do more good on my own. At least it's not hard to find criminals here. All I have to do is point my gun and shoot."

Together, they took stock of the tactical situation.

"How'd you let yourself get into this position?"

"My feelings got in the way of my better judgment. It's a long story. I'll make you a deal. You get me out of here alive and I'll tell you the whole damn thing."

* * *

"This ends now!" threatened the blue suns leader from his gunship PA system.

The sound of a gunship missile explosion echoed around the enclosed space. Shepard was downstairs beating a final Blue Suns merc to death with the butt end of his rifle.

"That sounded close. Garrus, you ok?"

He heard a horrible wet gurgling echo in his earpiece.

"Garrus?!" Shepard bellowed over the comms - and still his friend didn't respond.

He took the stairs two at a time sliding into cover on the upstairs landing. The first thing he saw was Garrus, face down in an expanding pool of blue blood.

Something broke inside of him. All of the bits of himself he'd stored away erupted with a vengeful fury. Garrus, his brother, comrade, and  _friend_ was at death's door, yet in his mind's eye he could still see the Turian trading kisses with his sister. He'd be damned if his family was losing him again.

He bolted out of cover, firing and screaming a wordless challenge as he moved. With three quick strides he'd cleared the couch he was using for cover, jumping off a nearby wall to launch himself in a zig-zag pattern as he closed the distance towards the gunship.

He heard Jacob and Miranda laying covering fire, a biotic blast swept over his shoulder, hitting the ship squarely. The targeting systems couldn't keep up with his movements and he managed to slide to relative safety against the lower half-wall of the window. His assault rifle clicked empty and he dropped it. He paused only a heartbeat, kneeling amongst the broken glass, and pulled out the grenade launcher from his back. He counted to three, waiting for the bullet barrage to pause from the heat buildup.

Then, Shepard did what he did best.

Before the gunship was even finished catching fire, Shepard was on his knees by Garrus' head.

_Common...turkey. Don't go near those pretty stars…_

Garrus' eyes fluttered open behind his targeting visor. He coughed and sputtered, choking on his own blood.

"Garrus!" Shepard called, turning to his omni-tool and pumping medi-gel into Garrus' suit.

"We're getting you out of here, Garrus. Just hold on! Radio Joker - make sure they're ready for us."

"You better hurry," Jacob echoed. "It looks bad."

* * *

Garrus could hear Shepard's voice in the medical bay. It was the third time he'd checked in on him. His mind was awake and alert, but his body was non-responsive, paralyzed. He could feel some kind of pressure drilling into his jawbone. He could also hear Dr. Chakwas giving sharp orders about his care.

Everything went black.

With a herculean effort, he opened his eyes. His throat was cracking and his mouth tasted like blood. Slowly, Garrus took in his surroundings.

Dr. Chakwas immediately appeared at his side, running her omni-tool over him.

"Garrus, how are you feeling?"

"...like I was hit in the face with an exploding gunship missile."

"Excellent!" The Doctor exclaimed excitedly. "I see your memory is in tact."

"Not sure about my sanity though, Doc. I saw Shepard, who's supposed to be dead. I think I'm on the  _Normandy_ , and it looks to me like you're wearing a Cerberus uniform."

"Ah… yes. Let me give you the short version..."

Garrus listened for a long time and still didn't understand.

"Shepard was dead and  _CERBERUS_  brought him back to life? He's not a clone or something?"

"I've checked him out myself..." Dr. Chakwas replied gently as her deft fingers carefully laid strips of bandages across the Turian's shoulder. She continued her voice soft with awe.

"It's him ...and a lot of cybernetics; very advanced cybernetics. Some of the same we just used on your jaw as a matter of fact."

Unconsciously, Garrus lifted a talon to his own face only to have it immediately slapped away by the doctor.

"Don't pick at it," she chided.

Garrus lowered his hand and blew out a breath irritably, but held still to let Karin finish her work.

"So, in payment for bringing him back to life, they are making him investigate the Human colonies that vanished?"

" _Making_  him isn't entirely accurate. You know better than anyone that you can't  _make_  Shepard do anything. He ran one mission for them on Freedom's Progress - where he ran into that Quarian...Tami...Tarri…"

"Tali!?" Garrus interrupted eagerly. "He found Tali? Where is she?"

"Hold still!" The doctor complained, readjusting to finish her work on the bandage. "Tali isn't here. She's running her own mission for the Flotilla."

"Oh…"

"As I was saying…" she continued with a hint of annoyance. "The Commander found strong evidence on Freedom's Progress that the Collectors are abducting thousands of Humans...maybe even millions, for the  _Reapers_. The Collectors are the ones that destroyed the  _Normandy_ … the first one. Cerberus is looking for a way to take out the Collectors for good - but, I think Shepard's just looking for payback."

Garrus remained quiet for a long time as he chewed on the new information.

"But, the Collectors are on the other side of the Omega 4 relay… that's a one-way trip," he added quietly after a long pause.

"So it would seem," Dr. Chakwas conceded stepping away from Garrus. "Turn your head, move about a little. Any pulling? Is the bandage secure?"

Garrus moved his head and shoulders obediently and tested the dressing.

"Seems fine. Best field dressing I've ever had." He tried to smile, but winced in pain instead.

The former Alliance doctor pat the top of Garrus' fringe with maternal sympathy. "Thank you, Garrus. Now, go see the Commander. It'll do him good to see you on your feet again. He's been worrying himself sick."

* * *

"Hell, Garrus. You were always ugly. Slap some facepaint on there and no one will tell the difference."

"Ha ha.. oww.. oh. Don't make me laugh. Damnit. My face is barely holding together as it is. Ah, probably for the best, everyone was always ignoring you and hitting on me. Time for you to get a fair shot at it."

Garrus fell silent then, he couldn't help but wonder how Maggie would respond to the scars. He looked steadily at Shepard and forced himself to see the differences in the siblings, rather than the similarities. He took a deep breath. Better to just get it over with and tell Shepard about his relationship with Maggie. He met Shepard's eyes, clearly indicating that they needed to talk without saying a word.

Two years and even death couldn't impede the unspoken language and understanding between them. They both simultaneously looked at Jacob who took the hint, excusing himself with a formal salute. After the Cerberus operative had left, Garrus tried to marshal his courage.

"Look...Shepard… I…"

Garrus' eyes fell to the rifle along Shepard's back and the hard red flare of his eyes. If Shepard took the news of his romantic involvement with Maggie badly, would he be able to survive the confrontation? Would his friend even listen? Was this strangely scarred man in front of him still his friend? The Turian swallowed and felt a stab of pain across his face. His courage evaporated.

"Uhmm...Frankly, I'm more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard. You remember those sick experiments they were doing?"

"That's why I'm glad you're here, Garrus. If I'm walking into hell, I want someone I trust at my side."

"You realize this plan has me walking into hell too." Garrus bantered nervously, dripping with false bravado. "Hmm. Just like old times."

"Not quite. Wait 'til you see my quarters."


	24. Chapter 20: Baby Brother

**Chapter 20: Baby Brother**

"I won't be second guessed on my own ship by my own ship. Do it."

"Very well, Shepard. The Controls are online. The switch and consequences are yours."

Shepard glared at the panel where EDI's orb hovered; as if the AI could understand his glower. It was bad enough having 24 hour surveillance on him and his crew, but his Cerberus observers were just that...observers. He would take another spacewalk without his suit before he allowed them to countermand his orders.

He pressed the tank button and watched as the second biggest Krogan he'd ever seen tumbled out of it sputtering.

_It's like a krogan gumball machine_. Shepard chuckled to himself.

Shepard was amusing himself with the similarities between Krogans and gumballs when suddenly the tank-born beast charged him. He found himself pinned against a bulkhead.

"Human. Male. Before you die, I need a name."

"I'm Commander Shepard. And, I don't take threats lightly. I suggest you relax."

"Not your name...Mine..."

_At least he's not calling me Jo-Jo._

Shepard struggled to follow the strange logical reasoning of this half-developed Krogan. It took a bit of imagination; but he could just make out a path to reasoning with the critter.

"My enemies threaten galaxies. Everyone on my ship has earned their place."

"Hmm...Hmph. That's….acceptable. I'll fight for you."

"I'm glad you saw reason," Shepard said with a manic smile as he holstered his pistol.

* * *

Garrus had been sending out feelers to his old C-Sec contacts, trying to find some scraps of information about Sidonis when he heard Shepard's steps approaching the Main Battery. The doors whisked open and Garrus turned to face the Commander.

"Shepard. Need me for something?"

"Yeah. Haven't seen much of you around…"

Garrus diverted his gaze away from the Commander. He was running out of excuses to avoid him. He wasn't even sure how to address Shepard now. Commanding Officer? Cerberus Operative? Possible brother in-law? That was a terrifying thought.

He knew his silence about Maggie was violating the trust and friendship they'd maintained on the first  _Normandy_. With every passing day, he felt the distance grow. Garrus desperately wanted to come clean to Shepard, but he just wasn't ready yet. Besides, whenever that conversation did eventually happen, it would need to occur when Shepard was unarmed.

"Well, you know how it is. Dr. Chakwas has been running a lot of tests on these cybernetics and the firing algorithms haven't been calibrated…" Garrus trailed off because Shepard was giving him the  _look_.

Maggie had called it the "Commander" look. He just focused his attention with a steady intensity that demanded obedience. Shepard was saying he knew Garrus was full of shit, but he wasn't going to push the matter.

"...right." Garrus mumbled, relieved. He felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The  _look_  had told him two things. First, that Shepard wasn't going to force an awkward conversation that he wasn't ready for and, second, that Shepard was still Shepard. No AI or clone could ever duplicate the  _look_.

"Come help me with something," Shepard demanded steadily, motioning towards the door.

"Of course, Commander."

Shepard led Garrus out to the Crew Deck where Mess Sergeant Gardner was waiting with several stacks of trays. Apparently, the Sergeant managed to recreate some of the odd Krogan foods Wrex had liked. Judging by the eager way Shepard was filling his arms with trays, the Commander had helped prepare the meals as well.

"Help me carry this stuff."

Garrus obediently filled his arms with the remaining items and followed Shepard towards the Port Cargo Area.

"You woke it up?" Garrus asked, incredulous.

"Him…" Shepard corrected. "It's a him, Garrus. And,  _he's_  on our side. Okeer's tank nonsense didn't stick."

"May I be the first to suggest this is a bad idea?"

"You're actually the third. And, noted. But, just wait 'til you meet him. He's physically grown, but mentally… He needs to be taught. Like a baby bird or something."

"And, _you're_ going to teach him?"

"I'm gonna try."

"So, the food is what… positive reinforcement?"

"Exactly!"

"And the action figures are for...?" Garrus asked, lifting one of the toy Blasto figurines from the box he carried and wiggling it for the Commander.

"Visual representation. Hey… don't give me that look. It worked on my sister…"

* * *

Garrus rarely admitted being wrong. But, he'd been wrong about that Krogan. He wasn't even sure how late into the sleep cycle it had gotten. Best guess, he'd been sitting on this floor in the Port Cargo Bay for hours. He estimated the time based on the stiffness in his legs.

But, the pain was worth it because he got to meet "Grunt."

Grunt didn't have a childhood. For being only hours old, the Krogan knew more history, combat tactics, and biology than Garrus had ever learned in school. But, there are other incredibly valuable things learned in childhood outside of facts and figures. Things like imagination, reasoning, and social interaction. Grunt had none of these and Shepard was attempting to teach him.

The three men were sitting in a circle together on the floor. Grunt was cross-legged and leaning in towards the center with intense interest. Shepard was making up a story, with Grunt's input, and acting it out with toys; thus, demonstrating fiction and invention. Grunt was eagerly playing along.

"Yes...this is a fertile land and we will thrive." Shepard's toy stegosaurus was saying in a wise old-man's voice coming from Shepard's lips.

"We will rule over all this land and we will call it….This land."

Garrus snorted and Shepard shot him a look.

"I say we call it your grave!" Grunt jumped in eagerly with a toy T-Rex.

"Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" continued the stegosaurus, Shepard making the toy bounce about the "land" of Garrus' feet.

"HA HA HA!" bobbed Grunt's T-Rex. The Krogan paused and looked at Shepard. "Is that a good evil laugh?"

"Excellent evil laugh." Shepard confirmed seriously with a nod.

"Ah ha ha! Now die!" In Grunt's hands, the toy T-Rex jumped upon Shepard's stegosaurus who struggled and thrashed, until rescued by his "Clan" of tiny Blasto figurines and a mixed regiment of Turian and Salarian toy soldiers.

Garrus nearly reopened the sutures on his face he was laughing so hard.

After the toys had fought to a glorious clan victory, Grunt set aside the figurines and turned seriously to Shepard.

"It was a great victory for the Clan. And, this clan is not real. It is a "fun" fiction."

"Yes… that's right, Grunt. Did you have fun?"

"Yes. And, I learned. But, I would like to know more about  _our_  Clan. You said before they had earned their place. How?"

Shepard took a deep breath, pondering his answer carefully. He glanced at Garrus, as if seeking assistance in the quandary. Garrus twitched his shoulders with a half-Turian smile on his mauled features.

_You started this, Shepard. You finish it._  Garrus' unspoken smirk said.

"We have many different Clan members. Each does something unique to make the Clan strong. For example, Mordin, the Salarian, is an excellent scientist."

"Tell me of his proving. How did he earn his place?"

"Ok. Well, back on Omega, there was a plague…" Shepard began.

Garrus settled back and listened.

* * *

"Now I'm going in. If I find looters, I'll kill them. Anyone gets in my way. I'll kill them too."

The Turian guard cowed before Shepard's threats as if they were a physical blow. Then, let them in.

"You're stopping me but not them? You son of a bitch!" complained a local woman.

"You don't have a grenade launcher, lady. Get lost."

The angry woman looked at Shepard with an imploring look and Shepard simply turned his back to her, prominently displaying said grenade launcher in silent threat.

"Fortunately, humans are immune to the plague," Miranda pointed out.

Shepard simply scowled at her. "Let's just get this done."

Shepard had changed. The only emotion that broke through his cold, uncaring exterior was anger. Miranda, against Jacob's recommendations, had approached the Commander while he waited for news of Garrus' health. Sherpard's empty and angry eyes had turned on her and he drew himself up as if he was about to pummel her.

But, Miranda showed no fear.

"Thousands of people are  _dying_ , Commander," she insisted. "Maybe even millions! They don't have time for you to play nursemaid to your Turian. We're the only hope they have."

In the end, the Commander reluctantly agreed to carry on and leave his friend unconscious in med-bay.

Instead, Shepard found himself in one of the worst slums he'd ever seen, flanked by his pair of Cerberus fighting terriers. The trio casually watched a Batarian squirm and die, left some irritating humans to their hiding place, then intimidated some looters into fleeing the district. Eventually, they found the clinic housing the Salarian scientist.

He didn't want to be here, listening to the bizarre ramblings of a Salarian with PTSD. He had his own demons to battle, his own family to find, his own vengeance to unleash. His temper flared.

"For the love of god, man. Take a breath!" Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose to ward of the headache. "Just once I'd like to ask someone for help have them say 'Sure. Let's go. Right now. No strings attached."

Shepard felt eyes drilling into him and he glanced back to see both Miranda and Jacob staring at him like he'd grown a second head. It took him a moment to realize that he'd actually voiced the complaint out-loud. He floundered for a recovery, for something to excuse the uncharacteristic and very undisciplined outburst when the Salarian saved him the trouble.

"Life is a negotiation. We all want. We all give to get what we want," the doctor said sagely.

_Ain't that the truth,_  Shepard grumbled silently this time.

If the Dr. Mordin Solis had ears, Shepard was sure they'd have perked up like an eager puppy at the mention of "Collectors." Professor Solis seemed to know a lot more than he was letting on and piqued Shepard's suspicion. It only emphasized how much he was needed on the team.

It felt like a routine after that. He rescued the assistant by threatening to kill Batarians, argued with and killed more Vorcha, restored power, released the cure, and saved thousands of lives….again. Plus, he successfully recruited a valuable new team member.

All in a day's work.

* * *

"By the spirits, whoever thought to introduce Vorcha to Flamethrowers should be shot. I  _can't_ believe you left me behind for that. Long-range tactics would have obviously been superior," fumed Garrus, much to Shepard's amusement.

"You were unconscious getting your face drilled. And, I did mention the plague that kills Turians, right?"

Garrus waved his hand dismissively.

"It'd take more than a missile and a cough to keep me from watching your back, Shepard."

"I do not understand this proving. The Salarian saved the weak. It did not make the Clan stronger," Grunt complained.

"Those people were innocent civilians. Their strengths were needed in their own Clans. Also, it proved his skill as a scientist," Shepard explained patiently.

"Why would you help strengthen other Clans? They are rivals."

"Because we need all the Clans strong. There are enemies so strong they force us to become one Clan."

Grunt looked down at the different dinosaur toys, action figures, and tiny toy soldiers scattered across the floor.

"I will consider this. But, tell me more of our Clan. Tell me of the small, colorful, Human female."

"Jack?"

"Yes. Tell me of her proving."

"She ripped a prison ship in half with her biotics."

"Worthy. And, Strong! But I like the stories. Tell me another story of our Clan." The Krogan looked about thoughtfully. "Garrus!" he boomed. "What was your proving?"

"Which time?" Shepard interjected with a chuckle. "Garrus has proved himself many times."

Garrus shifted uncomfortably. He didn't really want to talk about himself, much less prove his value to Grunt of all creatures. But, he did have a lesson to teach the young Krogan and it was something he'd promised Shepard.

"There were twelve of us, including me, in my old Clan…" he began.

Shepard listened to the story of Archangel with rapt attention. When Garrus had finished a dark and solemn silence permeated the cargo bay. It was broken when Grunt slammed his fist into the floor, knocking the toys into disarray.

"Betrayal is the worst sin of a clan. This Sidonis must be punished! When you find him, I would lend my strength to avenge your old Clan, Garrus."

"Thanks, Grunt. I'll remember that." Garrus gave the Krogan a steady nod.

"It also proves that you are strong! You survived! What of the other humans? How were they proven?"

"They brought Shepard back to life," Garrus said solemnly.

"But, Shepard is the battlemaster! He must have had a great proving. He could not be dead. He's right here!"

"Oh… Indeed he did and he was." Garrus was looking at Shepard with a vengeful Turian smirk. Shepard tried to glare at Garrus, but found himself unable to be angry with his old friend.

"Have EDI show you how to use the extra-net. Look up Commander Shepard and the Battle of the Citadel," Garrus continued, practically gloating.

"Garrus, I hold you fully responsible for all the problems that are going to come out of this."

"Come on, Commander. What's the worst that can happen?"

* * *

It was practically the beginning of the work cycle by the time Garrus and Shepard left the Port Cargo bay. Shepard stifled a yawn with the back of his hand, even though it still clutched a toy Blasto figurine. The two were waiting for the painfully slow elevator.

"You think they could've made the elevators faster when they rebuilt her," Shepard complained.

Garrus snorted. "Then you'd complain about them changing your ship."

Shepard laughed and Garrus saw his friend's stance relax slightly. "You're probably right. By the way, thanks for helping me with Grunt, Garrus."

"Sure."

"And, thanks for telling me about your team. I know that must've been hard for you. We'll get Sidonis, no matter what it takes."

"Thanks, Shepard."

They fell silent for a few seconds before Shepard turned almost accusing eyes on Garrus.

"Have you been in touch with Maggie?"

The Turian looked away and coughed awkwardly into his first.

_Oh shit. Here it comes,_  Garrus thought. He tried to glance over at Shepard from the corner of his eye, checking him for weapons.

"Not since Omega."

_I'm going to be beaten to death with a Blasto toy._

"Me neither."

"WHAT?! Are you kidding me, Shepard?! You're alive. How can you not have contacted your family?"

Garrus forgot his own fears and regrets in the face of this shocking revelation. He'd never known Shepard to miss a conversation with his sister,  _ever_.

"Showing up to say 'hi' and then disappearing through the Omega 4 relay is not exactly what I'd call a family reunion. It's better off if she doesn't know I'm alive in the first place. That way… if the worst should happen…"

Garrus finished the thought for him. "...she doesn't have to lose you again."

Shepard glanced at his friend and nodded slightly. It was a comfort to know Garrus understood. The elevator opened and they entered together. Shepard pressed the panel for his quarters and they crept up at a glacial pace.

"She thinks I'm dead, too." Garrus finally added after a long silence, his subharmonics bitter and pained. "I sent her a final message when I was pinned down on that bridge. Maybe it's better if she thinks we're both gone for good. Then, she can move on with her life."

Shepard kicked at the elevator grating angrily. He knew that Garrus and Maggie were way more than friends, even though Garrus was wriggling like a Hanar's tentacle to avoid the subject. Saying that must've cost the Turian something. Whatever went wrong between them must've been worse than Shepard originally thought. It had sent Garrus off to Omega, Shepard reasoned, nearly getting himself killed in his breakup angst.

"When we come back from the Omega 4 relay, we'll go see her together. And, maybe you can even finish your Spectre training."

"Sure, Shepard…" Garrus said doubtfully. "If we come back…"


	25. Chapter 21: Horizon

**Chapter 21: Horizon**

"This a horrible picture of Tali," Garrus observed while holding up the data pad for the Commander to see. He was sprawled out on the couch in Shepard's quarters aboard the new  _Normandy_   _SR-2_. "For all of Cerberus' resources, you'd think they could hire a decent photographer."

Shepard chuckled from his seat on the floor at the Turian's elbow with a data pad of his own.

"Yours were worse," Shepard responded absent mindedly as he scrolled through the dossiers.

"Mine?!" Garrus growled incredulous. "Cerberus never found me on Omega. I was too careful."

"They were older than that. From the Citadel."

Shepard subtly glanced at Garrus out of the corner of his eye, trying to read his friend for some kind of reaction on those odd plates. Garrus shifted nervously and tried to focus on the mission.

"I still think we should recruit Tali first," he protested lamely.

"I'm not sure I even want her on the team for this. She might be safer as far away from this mess as I can keep her," Shepard said morosely.

Garrus nodded with understanding. "Same could be said for a few others from the old team...and yet you still seem to be in a real big hurry to recruit them."

"Liara doesn't have anyth-" Garrus' laughter interrupted Shepard's indignant defense.

The Turian clicked his mandibles in a strange reprimanding gesture. "Hey, Shepard. I didn't say anything about Liara."

Shepard glared daggers at the smirking Turian, but didn't get the opportunity to retort. As he opened his mouth to berate his friend, EDI's orb blinked to life in the corner of his quarters and called out to the room at large.

"Shepard, you have an urgent message from the Illusive Man. He wishes to speak with you in the Communications room."

Shepard and Garrus shared a steady look then stood in unison and headed for the door.

"Are you sure you don't want to reconsider Jack's idea about going pirate?" Garrus joked as they exited the elevator.

"Ask me again after this conversation," Shepard grumbled darkly as he headed into the Communications room.

"Good luck, Shepard. I'm here if you need me."

Shepard paced a few circuits around the conference table, focusing his thoughts and preparing himself for the upcoming conversation. He always had to be on guard with the Illusive Man, even the best military discipline poker face wasn't enough. Eventually, when his mind was calm and his anger under lock and key, Shepard activated the quantum entanglement relay and stepped into the strange holographic circle.

"Shepard, I think we have them. Horizon, one of our colonies in the Terminus systems, just went silent."

The Illusive Man began without precursor or greeting. He immediately launched into details of the upcoming attack. He asked about the Mordin's seeker-swarm countermeasures and Shepard kept his face a neutral mask, keeping his urges to throttle the man under tight control.

It was all routine until the bottom fell out of Shepard's universe.

"There's something else you should know. Your sister is stationed on Horizon. The Alliance recently bolstered security forces on the colony - led by one of your former crew, Ashley Williams."

Shepard stared blankly at the hologram image in front of him. His blood ran cold as he repeated the words inside his own head, trying to process the new information. Shepard counted to five silently and systematically forced each of his fingers to unclench out of a fist. He swallowed the lump in his throat, hoping his face remained a neutral mask and didn't reveal the panic that was building in his chest.

"Why is she out in the Terminus systems?" he managed to croak.

"Officially, it's an outreach program to improve Alliance relations with the colonies. But, they're up to something. And, if they sent Chief Williams it must be big. Perhaps, you should take it up with her."

Shepard tried to keep his voice steady, but he could hear the growl in his own throat. The anger was burning white and hot in the back of his mind as he slowly realized the true extent of the danger to his sister's life.

"The Collectors just happened to pick a colony with my sister. I don't buy it."

"It shouldn't be a surprise the Collectors are interested in you. Especially, if they're working for the Reapers. They might be going after her to get to you."

"We should send a message to the Citadel - The Alliance can give us reinforcements."

"Not until you investigate. I don't want the Alliance getting in our way. Once you have the situation under control, I'll send the information personally."

Shepard paced the tiny holographic circle, his fists clenched again. He thought about arguing the point with the head of Cerberus, but he didn't want to delay. His sister was in very real and serious danger. The  _Normandy_ was the fastest ship in the Galaxy. If the Collectors were there, the Alliance wouldn't get there in time anyway.

"Send the coordinates. We're heading straight there."

"This is the most warning we've ever had, Shepard. Good luck."

Shepard didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until the virtual environment had disengaged. He didn't waste any time.

"Joker, set a course for Horizon. As fast as you can get us there."

"Aye Aye, Commander," the pilot responded seriously.

Without missing a beat, Shepard walked with firm and angry purpose towards the doors and straight for Mordin's lab. Garrus was waiting outside, leaning with a casual stance against the bulkhead.

"I take it that didn't go well…" Garrus observed, straightening and falling into step behind the Commander.

"Horizon's just gone dark. The Collectors are heading there next."

Garrus stopped dead in his tracks. Shepard could hear the sharp intake of breath through his slotted Turian nose, though he didn't slow his steps.

"Maggie…" Garrus breathed. It was the first time Shepard ever heard fear in the Turian's voice. It was also the first time since they'd been reunited on Omega that the Turian had uttered his sister's name.

Shepard didn't bother to ask how Garrus knew she was there. None of that mattered now.

"Head to the armory and coordinate with Jacob. Find whatever you can that's effective against their natural armor. I want to put the biggest hole possible in those bastards' heads for even  _thinking_  about touching my sister."

Garrus was trying to remember how to breathe. Strange choking sounds were emerging from the Turian's throat. Shepard didn't slow his steps and the Turian trotted a few paces to catch up.

"Shepard, I… Maggie… we…" Garrus stammered awkwardly, almost like he was out of breath.

"I gave you an order, Vakarian," Shepard growled, whirling on his friend.

Garrus jerked to attention. "Right away, Commander." Without another word, he carefully retreated to the Armory.

Shepard ignored Garrus and stomped into Mordin's lab while his panic and fear coalesced into a cold rage.

"Tell me you have something," he demanded of Mordin. The scientist turned to him and smiled.

Shepard dared to hope.

* * *

Professor Mordin Solus was one of the most decorated STG Operatives in Salarian history. He was brilliant, highly-trained, and lethal.

And, now, he was  _incredibly_ frustrated.

The Salarian scientist was accustomed to dumbing down technical concepts for non-scientists. He could even place value on military's morale-based tactics and the successful camaraderie of a competent combat force. But, Garrus and Shepard were  _ignoring_ him. With every step they bypassed the wealth of data surrounding them on Horizon and it was simply unacceptable!

Mordin was mumbling irritably to himself about testing the seeker swarm technology and collecting data.

_Yes yes, the civilians were valuable. Of course, it goes without saying that you want to preserve any organic life._

But, right in front of them was irrefutable evidence that the Collectors were working with the Reapers. The technology, the data, and the amount of intelligence here on Horizon was unparalleled. He could be using it to protect hundreds of other colonies, thousands of worlds, and millions of lives.

That data was priceless.

Yet, it was abundantly clear Shepard and Garrus simply didn't care in the slightest. They were trying to locate one human girl and nothing, not even the mission, was getting in their way.

"Try messaging her again." Shepard ordered without looking away from the point of attack. The Turian and the Human were gliding across the battlefield in a perfectly synchronized rhythm of merciless violence. Mordin was struggling to keep up.

"Who?" Mordin asked, glancing back and forth between Garrus and Shepard. Both men continued to ignore him entirely. The Salarian fumed.

Garrus checked his omni-tool and growled.

"Solar interference."

"Collector ship interrupting communications," Mordin corrected with a glare.

As they moved through the colony, the team failed to find a single survivor. Garrus and Shepard were speeding up and moving with a ferocity that gave the Salarian pause.

For the past few weeks, the mental stress of the situation was evident in the Commander and the Turian. Channeling stress into combat or other recreational activities was healthy. Yet, this type of interaction between their species was unprecedented. Mordin considered recording the dynamic for future study.

For a brief moment, he looked past his scientific detachment and was grateful that the fearsome pair were not his enemies. Mordin had seen some brutal and devastating combat in his time. He'd killed a lot of creatures with a lot of methods. Gunfire. Knives. Drugs. Tech Attacks. Even once with farming equipment. And, none of it held a candle to the destructive potential he was witnessing in Shepard and Garrus.

_Need more data. Foster replication for military training. Cross-species cooperation ensures long-term collective survival._  Mordin was deliberating to himself.

Mordin was ignoring the clipped conversation between his squad-mates as he contemplated the effective uses of Turian/Human military squads. But, then it got interesting...

"She's not here. They probably have her on the ship already. I say we radio the  _Normandy_ to blow it out of the sky," Garrus was growling over their comms.

"If she's on the ship and we destroy it, she dies with it. Husk Three o'clock." Shepard's cold, calculating voice echoed in his communication collar.

The conversation paused, interrupted by shots ringing out across the fields. Mordin incinerated a group of Collector foot-soldiers clustered together behind a crate.

"All clear." Garrus announced.

They were moving across the field now in a triangle formation, approaching a courtyard between two buildings. Instinctively, Garrus and Shepard both paused and inspected the suspiciously open space with their scopes. Mordin arrived a few paces behind, panting. He noted the area and scanned it with his omni-tool.

"Maggie's crafty. She wouldn't let them take her alive. Those seeker swarms are brutal, but not enough to pin her down. She's here somewhere." Shepard picked up the conversation in a low-whisper.

Mordin calculated the odds of that being true. Then, he decided it was best if he didn't share his conclusions. The false hope seemed to be an important component for the effectiveness of this particular combat arrangement.

"Alright, Shepard. We'll keep looking," the Turian relented.

"It's  _my_  fault they're after her in the first place and I'll be damned if they are going to take her."

Garrus rumbled a non-verbal grunt of assent. Mordin turned a hint more crimson in his frustration and refused to contribute to the conversation.

They continued to sweep the colony, bolstered by the small hope ignited after discovering a few paralyzed colonists. They checked every stasis victim, but did not locate the "Maggie" Garrus and Shepard were seeking. Instead, they met Harbinger, which offered a pleasant distraction to Mordin's frustration with his allies.

The only solid lead was hiding in a sealed storage shed.

"It's the Alliance's fault. They stationed that Chief Williams here and built those defense towers. They made us a target."

Dr. Solus scanned the man with his omni-tool. The mechanic named Delan had nothing but bitter words and blame for the people trying to save his sorry life. It was a common trait of survivor's guilt. Mordin considered a variety of psychological treatments for him.

"Tell me more about this Alliance Rep," Shepard demanded sharply.

"Chief Williams? Heard she was some kinda hero or something. Didn't mean nothing to me, though. Would rather she just stay back in Council space. She's supposed to be helpin' us get the defense towers up and running. I got the feeling she was here for something else. Spying on us maybe."

"What about Staff Sergeant Shepard?"

Garrus coughed softly and corrected. "Sergeant Major."

Shepard glanced over at Garrus.

"Sergeant Major? Really?"

Garrus shrugged. "Two years is a while, Commander."

Delan, the mechanic, glanced back and forth between the two.

"Sergeant Shepard? You mean Maggizzle? She's got a mean right hook - I can tell you that. She's made herself scarce since Chief Williams arrived. Haven't seen much of her at the bar lately. Her Engineers steer clear of the Marines. She was the only one of the lot who knew her ass from a hole in the ground."

"Where is she?" Shepard asked anxiously.

"Her team was workin' on the defense towers. High powered GUARDIAN lasers. They still couldn't get the targeting systems online. They were the first to get hit. I could hear 'em screaming."

A deadly silence fell over the team. Delan involuntarily stepped back from Shepard's angry, cold glare. Garrus' growl was almost silent, but the vibrations made Mordin's teeth ache.

"Shouldn't be hard to figure out. Just need the location." Mordin interjected, trying to bring Garrus and Shepard back to reality and prevent them from committing unnecessary acts of violence.

"Head for the main transmitter on the other side of the colony. It's pretty hard to miss."

They left the mechanic to his hiding place and crossed the colony at a sprint.

* * *

They never found Maggie. Instead, they found lots of Collectors, a hovering spider monster, and Ashley. Good old irritating, self-centered, undisciplined, misguided, Ashley.

_It's been two years for her,_ Shepard reminded himself patiently.  _Just focus on finding Maggie._

Shepard was immune to Ashley's anger. He didn't even make eye contact as he responded numbly to her accusations. His eyes kept drifting to the vapor trail that indicated where the Collector ship had been. Even Garrus' fervent defense of him couldn't rouse the Commander against his former comrade.

"Damnit, Williams! You're so focused on Cerberus that you're ignoring the real threat. You let them take Maggie right out from under you!" Garrus growled, his fury rising to fever pitch.

"I can see you won't listen to reason…" Shepard added duly, still staring at the empty sky where the Collector ship used to be.

Shepard's thoughts gave into despair.  _They took her_.  _They took her because of me. Oh god, what will they do to her? Put her on a spike? Turn her into a husk? Indoctrinate her like Saren? Will I have to kill my own sister?_

"You show up after two years and tell me you're working for Cerberus? Sounds like you left reason behind a long time ago. Doesn't matter. I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier. It's in my blood. I'm reporting back to the Citadel. I'll let them decide if they believe your story." Ashley spat.

Shepard finally whirled on her. "We both know how that's gonna turn out. The Alliance will just try to blame Cerberus and I'll be no closer to getting Maggie back. If she's even still alive."

Ashley winced at his words, like he'd just slapped her across the face. She turned away so he couldn't read her expression.

"With good reason, Shepard. Sorry - good luck."

Shepard stared at her back as Ashley walked away, though he did flinch at the sound of Garrus' armored fist crunching into metal.

"Sorry?! She's sorry!?" growled Garrus, pacing in his rage, throwing another punch and breaking apart another nearby storage container.

"I should've told her I'm sorry," Shepard muttered, watching Ashley's back.

"Fuck that. You don't have anything to be sorry to  _her_ about."

"I failed to save her squad, rejected her, killed her lover, spurned her respect then joined the enemy. Everything I do hurts that girl. Best I can do is stay away."

Garrus stared at Shepard in disbelief, but couldn't think of anything to say to refute his claims.

_Sorry, Kaidan_. Shepard thought to himself sourly.

* * *

The flimsy barracks wall shuddered and Shepard raised an eyebrow at the strangely human shaped dent that appeared.

"...your unit! Your responsibility..." he could hear Garrus bellowing from the next room. "Your shame will be spread amongst the stars."

"Gggllrrrk," was the strangled reply of the poor security officer struggling against the Turian's wrath.

Shepard felt neither satisfaction nor anger at the display. He didn't even feel the driving selfless need to protect the innocent Alliance soldier from unwarranted harm.

He didn't feel anything, just emptiness. His sister was gone.

Shepard and Mordin carefully inspected the tiny dorm-like room that had once housed her life. Maggie had jury-rigged a series of ceiling mounted storage devices that imitated the racks on ship's quarters. The racks were filled with wires, circuit boards, and half-finished mechanical projects that would never see completion. They surrounded a custom-built multi-screen terminal.

"Her living quarters?" The Salarian asked.

Shepard reached out and touched one of the incomplete combat drones. It was painted red, her favorite color. The surge of memories he felt made his throat tighten. Until the  _Normandy_ , it had always just been him and his sister. They may have been systems apart but they could always count each other. They had no secrets, no judgments, no apprehensions. Shepard simply couldn't imagine a world without her in it.

"Definitely her room," he confirmed solemnly.

"Scanning." Mordin confirmed and turned to his omni-tool.

Outside the room, Shepard listened to the argument which continued between Garrus and the unfortunate Commanding Officer of Horizon's security forces. He was also the source of the dent in the wall.

Shepard stepped into the hallway to watch the end of Garrus' interrogation. The Human Lieutenant was half-way through the wall with three long Turian talons wrapped around his throat. The man broke like bad china.

"I...I…don't know! She was one of those specialists…" the Lieutenant was sobbing. "You know the type…"

"Enlighten me." Garrus growled and the floor beneath him shook.

"S-S-Seperate orders, encrypted reports, a lot of hidden comings and goings… Shepard's team were working on the lasers. W-We had nothing to do with them! I wrote her up once. That's all I know. I swear!"

"Wrote her up for what?" Shepard asked as he peered at the Lieutenant over the Turian's shoulder.

"Unauthorized weapon discharge… she..she used a local monument for target practice on a bet with some Marines. Shot a smiley face in the back of it's head at 900 meters."

For the first time since stepping foot on this cursed planet, Shepard smiled.

"Yeah, that sounds like her."

"Shepard?" Mordin called from the doorway. "Something you should see."

Garrus let the man drop to the floor and followed Shepard into Maggie's room.

"Amount of genetic material in this room - lacking for daily use." Mordin was muttering as he fiddled with his omni-tool. "The subject has not been present. Slept somewhere else. Additional interested parties have been collecting genetic samples. Several weeks at least. Intimate relations with squad perhaps?"

Shepard pretended that he didn't hear the low threatening growl that escaped Garrus.

"Salvaged limited data from terminal," the Salarian continued, oblivious to Garrus' displeasure. "Fire crash program - wiped almost clean. Only one file left."

"What file?" Shepard asked.

Mordin pressed a button to activate the only remaining file. Shepard leaned over and studied the vid as Garrus paced the tiny room like a caged animal.

From the terminal, Maggie's sing-song voice blasted over a cacophony of sound and laughter. The home-made visuals were jerky from her omni-tool recording attached to her wrist. It was the vid she recorded from their victory dinner at "The Digs" back on the Citadel - over two years before. The whole crew of the first Normandy was there, chatting, eating and drinking. Maggie was going around the table to each, asking them about their favorite part of serving with her heroic brother.

Maggie was interviewing Tali on the screen now. Shepard's fingers were tightening around the edge of the desk until it creaked.

"ok ok...Tali we get it. The drive core is amazing."

"Your brother is amazing too, Maggie."

"Maybe if we packed him full of ezo and used him to power a ship you'd like him as much as the drive core."

"Keelah! That's not fair."

Garrus' rumbling voice interjected and the visuals swung around.

"Have you asked Joker about the drop on Illos yet? I'm pretty sure that was his favorite."

"He's only told me about it like five times!" Maggie's voice chimed, then lowered gently. "How about you, Garrus? You haven't answered yet."

Garrus' face appeared on the screen, he was looking past the omni-tool to what must've been Maggie's face beyond the omni-tool. His expression strange and contemplative. Maggie's voice morphed into a mocking announcer tone.

"Garrus Vakarian! You just saved the citadel, stopped galactic destruction, and spent a year on assignment with the first Human Spectre! What was your favorite part?"

"All of it, the good and the bad. You can't choose favorites in your family."

The omni-tool shuffled and the visuals tilted, as if Maggie had thrown her arms around Garrus and was hugging him fiercely.

"Sure ya can! You're my favorite Turian on the Citadel, Garrus!" Maggie declared, laughing.

Shepard stopped the vid and stepped out of the room silently, like a ghost. Mordin waffled uncertainly a moment before following the Commander outside. Shepard's dull and sluggish steps echoed down the hallway.

Garrus remained behind in silence with his eyes locked on the screen. The scene it displayed was tilted and blurry with movement, but he could still make out Maggie's face looking up at his own framed at the edge of the screen. Her eyes were sparkling, her smile radiant, she was full of life and laughter. And, she was gone; probably dead or turned into some grotesque cyber husk.

Garrus was clenching his fists so tightly his talons were tearing into his palms, blue blood standing out in stark contrast to the black reinforced fabric of his gloves. In this room, he could faintly smell her scent, sweet and salty like the ocean. It was a painful reminder of her presence.

Her face on the terminal shattered.

Garrus felt the pain radiate up his arm before he realized he had punched the display. The image of cybernetic tubes forcing their way into her soft skin invaded Garrus' mind. He pictured her laughter turned into screams as the Collectors cut into her frail human body; the same body that had spent so many nights in his arms. His rapid heartbeat echoed in his skull and his vision blurred red.

He wasn't sure what had happened until he heard Shepard's voice yelling at him. His body felt heavy. As he came back to himself, he realized Shepard had tackled him and was pinning him to the floor. Mordin was locking down his armor and several colonists were staring at him in horror.

The room looked like a bomb went off. Pieces of furniture were strewn about, some half-lodged into the walls. Claw marks riddled everything. The terminal was smashed through the wall into the room next door and there wasn't a single item that hadn't been torn into multiple pieces. There were strips of her pillowcase tangled in his talons where he must've sliced it to ribbons. His body was exhausted and aching. Garrus blinked his vision clear and felt the rage drain from him, quickly replaced by debilitating, aching, pain.

"Garrus… easy Garrus." Shepard was reassuring him while simultaneously holding him down. "Calm down."

It took Garrus a few tries for his voice to function.

"I.. I'm ok, now. You can get off me, Shepard."

Shepard peered at his friend uncertainly.

"You're not gonna hulk out on me are you?"

"I don't know what that means. But, it won't happen again."

Mordin was murmuring again, half to himself. "Turian response to stress - base instincts, protect the family unit. No targets. Aggression manifests itself in physical destruction. Interesting response…."

Shepard sighed at Mordin before his gaze returned to Garrus. He nodded once, leaned back and offered a hand. Garrus took it and was bodily hauled back onto his feet. Garrus surveyed the damage and looked down at his shaking hands, they were bleeding and he was pretty sure one of his taloned fingers wasn't supposed to hang at that angle.

"I-I'm sorry, Commander. I didn't mean to…I'm sorry I... The last order you gave me was to keep her safe. And, I failed...again."

"What are you talking about, Garrus?"

"Shepard…I shouldn't have left… I should've stayed on the Citadel with-" His avian eyes were focused on the floor.

"The Collectors are after  _me_ ," Shepard interrupted him. "It's not your fault… it's mine."

Garrus knelt slowly to pick up a scrap of pillow case on the floor between his feet. He rubbed the fabric slowly between his fingers. It still lingered with her scent.

"What's our next move, Commander?" The Turian asked as he studied the fabric, a cold rage rising in his voice.

"If she's not here, then we've got a ship to chase."


	26. Chapter 22: Illium

**Chapter 22: Illium**

Shepard jerked awake, cursing and sputtering with his hand on a pistol, but he couldn't remember why. His heart was pounding in matching rhythm with the vein on his temple. He found himself on the couch in his quarters aboard the  _Normandy_  trying to focus his blurry vision on the empty fish tank. The unmistakable sound of retching came from the bathroom.

Yet, it was Yeoman Chamber's cheerful voice on his intercom that greeted him.

"Good Morning, Commander! Sorry to wake you, but Miranda would like to speak with you in her office on the crew deck."

The horrendous sound of vomiting repeated itself from the bathroom.

"Oh my... Apologies, Commander. I'll tell her you're indisposed."

The intercom clicked off and Shepard rubbed his temples, trying to massage life back into his alcohol-soaked brain. Despite the best efforts of the SR-2's crew, they'd been unable to catch the Collector ship before it passed through the Omega 4 relay. He couldn't justify destroying a second Normandy, regardless of how much Garrus protested, and Shepard was forced to abandon the search for his sister.

It had been a dark day, indeed.

The cold anger in him still seethed and he couldn't stop himself from replaying the conversation with the Illusive Man over and over in his head.

"I may have let it slip that you were alive and with Cerberus," The Illusive Man had revealed.

"You risked the lives of my sister, my friends, my crew, and that entire colony just to lure the Collectors there?!" Shepard had raged.

"A calculated risk."

Shepard was going to "calculated risk" his hands around that son-of-a-bitch's throat if it was the last thing he did.

Fucking Cerberus….

"Garrus?" Shepard asked the darkness weakly. His mouth felt like it was coated with resin and he could still taste the bile in his throat. It took most of his effort, but he managed to stand and found himself ankle-deep in a carpet of empty bottles.

It had been just over a week since Horizon. The liquor was still sour in his belly. The alcohol had done nothing to dull the roiling black anger and pain still gnawing at him.

Garrus hadn't fared nearly so well.

"Fuck... me…." was the panting response from the bathroom, followed by more coughing and retching.

Garrus emerged, reeking of vomit and dragging himself towards Shepard's desk. He wobbled unsteadily and reached for another bottle. He raised it to his mouth only to discover it was empty, so he tossed the bottle to join the dozens on the floor.

"We're out of booze," the Turian complained darkly.

"You drank it all," Shepard grumbled. "Those are all dextro-bottles."

"Still not drunk enough…I need to… to tell you… Shepard…" Garrus paused. His mandibles spasamed, then he spun and ran back into Shepard's bathroom. The sound of retching repeated louder.

Shepard winced, partially in sympathy and partially at the noise. His head was pounding harder now, but he still managed to dress himself. When he returned to check on Garrus, the grieving Turian had passed out on his bathroom floor.

"Sleep it off, brother." Shepard murmured to the armored lump, tucking a spare towel under his fringed head.

Garrus stirred briefly. "Here if you need me," he croaked before slipping back into unconsciousness.

Shepard's stomach recoiled at the thought of food. Instead, he dry swallowed a few hangover meds, ignored the unread messages light blinking at his terminal, and made his way to Miranda.

"Shepard… I'm sorry about your sister," the Cerberus Operative began. She paused and studied the Commander.

He was in a frightful state.

Shepard was swaying on his feet, but he didn't look unsteady. He looked like he couldn't decide which direction to destroy first. His cheeks were gaunt and there were heavy bags under his eyes which only served to accentuate the furious madness they expressed. His lips were pulled back into a strained fake smile that looked more like a tiger baring his teeth.

Miranda tried to maintain her poised demeanor, but couldn't resist stealing uncertain glances at the Commander as he paced the room.

"and… I also wanted to assure you that I knew nothing of the Illusive Man's intentions to use your sister as bait for the Collectors…" Miranda continued. "...I believe that may have gone too far."

Shepard blinked and took a second look at the woman. He was expecting an angry lecture on using Cerberus resources in a personal agenda. But, there was genuine sympathy in her voice and in her eyes. He had to remind himself that was probably manufactured too.

"I hope you won't take it personally if I don't believe you, given that you report directly to that piece of shit."

Miranda's expression didn't change and she met the Commander's bloodshot eyes without a trace of fear.

"I understand, Shepard. And, I don't blame you. But…I find myself in the unpleasant position of asking for your help. I don't like discussing personal matters, but this is important."

"What's going on?"

"You remember what I told you about Father, building a dynasty? There was another reason I went to Cerberus for protection. I also have a sister…and I'm trying to save her."

* * *

Shepard stepped onto Nos Astra and immediately felt dirty despite the clean white walls that surrounded him. Garrus' steps seemed extremely loud at his side; whether from the Turian's aggression or his hangover, Shepard couldn't be sure.

Garrus was in a dark and foul mood, it seemed as if nothing but blood would satiate him. Shepard couldn't agree more. Every collector he shot helped ease the pain of Maggie's loss. He looked forward to adding the Collectors to the galaxy's list of extinct races, right before Cerberus.

"Don't let this place fool you. It's no safer here than Omega," Garrus warned in a low growl.

Shepard glanced at his friend and in the brief eye contact, they shared their mutual pain, mistrust, and hatred. The order was "build the team" until the Illusive Man could get them through the Omega 4 relay to finish extracting their vengeance.

But, for the time being, Shepard's solace lay in seeing Liara again. He took the stairs two at a time, blowing past her assistant. He expected to sweep the young Asari doctor off her feet and into his arms in a joyful reunion.

Instead, he found Liara on a vid-call threatening to flay someone with her mind. Much to Shepard's horror, his innocent and sweet Asari doctor was using the exact the same words as her traitorous mother, Benezia. Shock and horror froze Shepard in place at the doorway.

Eventually, Liara finished her business and turned to see Shepard. She called his name excitedly, demanding that her assistant, Nyrexis, hold her calls as she threw herself into his arms.

Liara kissed her lover without hesitation. The lithe Asari moved into his arms with the same routine familiarity that their short time living together had established. Their lips touched, tentatively at first. Then, like their first night together, Liara's passion overtook her. She clung to Shepard with a fierce strength and deepened the kiss as if to devour him.

Shepard was still frozen, squirming awkwardly beneath the warmth of Liara's kiss. Before, he would have thrown himself into the love and affection they shared. But after what he'd heard, he studied the sensation remotely with fear and suspicion.

_Was she indoctrinated too?_

Liara seemed to sense the misgivings in her lover and pulled reluctantly away from the kiss. She looked into his eyes, studying him, their lips only inches apart. Eventually, she shook her head, as if coming to some conclusion and stepped back. She moved behind the desk.

Then, they got down to business.

There was nothing hidden from Liara. She knew his mission, his arrangement with Cerberus, even about the events on Horizon. She knew  _everything._  She discussed missions, intel and galactic politics.

_And, not a word about Maggie,_  Shepard noted to himself, cautiously.

Shepard wasn't sure how to respond. This wasn't the same Liara he had loved so deeply just a few weeks before.

_But, it wasn't a few weeks. It was years,_ he forced himself to remember.

This wasn't Liara. This Asari was different. She was cold, callous, and stained. Shepard's heart ached, longing so desperately for the Asari who giggled like a school girl. But, she was gone. Murdered by a cruel and unyielding galaxy. In vain hope, he asked Liara to come back to the  _Normandy_ anyway.

"I'm sorry I can't, Shepard. I have commitments here, things I need to take care of."

"Are you in trouble?"

"No. No trouble. But, it's been a long two years. I had things to do while you were gone. I have debts to repay. Listen, if you want to help. I need someone with hacking expertise. Someone I can trust."

Shepard cast a quick glance back to Garrus who offered a silent nod.

"If it'll help you, I'll take care of it."

* * *

"Close quarters," Garrus growled over the Dantilus Tower blueprints. "I'd suggest the biotic ball of fury."

Shepard and Garrus were planning their assault on a strongly fortified and heavily guarded crime lord-ess. Their final strategy was more brazen and direct than usual. But, the conversation with Liara had left Shepard's mood dark and he was craving the violence like a red-sand junkie.

Shepard nodded his agreement and radioed the  _Normandy_.

"Hey, Commander. Liara coming with us?" Joker asked excitedly.

"No. I'm calling for Jack. Have her meet us at the attached coordinates."

"You, Garrus, and... Jack?" the pilot paused, uncertainly "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes."

Joker's voice became muffled as he spoke on another channel, then promptly returned. "Yeah, Commander - she's on her way. But, do I have your permission to take off and watch the flames from orbit? That's a whole lotta rage right now...just sayin'."

Joker's voice was only half-teasing.

"That'll be all, Joker," Shepard responded between clenched teeth.

His anger didn't have to wait long to be unleashed. Garrus and Jack were barely out of the skycar at the base of Dantius Tower when the mechs started gunning down Salarian workmen. Shepard could feel the Turian growling by his side.

"Hello, Dead people!" Jack chimed happily.

Shepard found himself grinning like a maniac.

"Couldn't agree more, Jack."

As it turned out, the mission was a perfect one for blowing off rage and aggression: a building full of cowering and murdered Salarians. Ruthless mercenaries who needed killing. And, a mysterious assassin who was damned good at what he did.

It was a job interview in bodies and bullet holes. Shepard wasn't sure who was interviewing whom. Each grisly discovery taught Shepard a little more about the man he was chasing. He didn't kill innocents: a locked room full of cowering Salarians attested to that. The accuracy and lethality of the wounds on his targets attested to his professionalism. And, from the timing of the kills it was obvious the assassin knew they were coming. He was probably shadowing them right now. And, he was egging them on.

He paced uneasily out of the room and looked over the construction site as Garrus and Jack finished interrogating a rather rude and obnoxious mercenary. Garrus stepped up next to him, following his gaze. The two men glanced at one another - the understanding implicit.

"What do you think, Garrus?"

"Merc was killed by a precise shot from a highly skilled sniper. I think the shooter's our target."

"Great. Let's get his attention."

The two friends watched the mouthy merc fall screaming hundreds of stories to his death. Matching smiles lit up their faces.

"Defenestration," Shepard said with a nod.

"Good word," Garrus agreed.

"I oughta take notes from you, Shepard," Jack added gleefully.

* * *

"Welcome to the team, Krios. How about a drink?"

Garrus, Thane, Jack, and Shepard settled themselves at a table in the Nos Astra bar. Nearby, a Turian was being friend-zoned by his Quarian date and a bachelor party watched an Asari dancer with raucous cheers. Thane listened appreciatively as Shepard and Garrus laid out their plans to secure their next recruit, an Asari Justicar. They shared information and determined that the local law enforcement was involved. Garrus, with his C-Sec connections, took Jack to see what other leads he could turn up. Shepard and Thane watched them go.

Shepard was drinking heavily and Thane sat peering at his medicinal tea.

"So...dying huh?" Shepard asked casually, after pounding another shot.

"Yes. I thought you'd want to know more. You don't have to worry about the rest of the crew. My illness is not communicable."

Shepard found himself learning more than he thought he'd ever want to know about Kepral's Syndrome, Soul Names, and the Hanar's bioluminescent communication. Shepard was especially attentive when Thane began discussing his religion. The "oceans and afterlife" parable was of particular interest.

The assassin had a strangely comforting rumbling voice that coupled with the stern faith of his words managed to ease the dark rage boiling inside of Shepard for a time. The Commander listened attentively and asked questions with a strange familiarity that he couldn't describe. He felt an intuitive trust that the Assassin was being completely honest. It was a simple and pure trust.

_He answers my questions like I used to answer Maggie's questions,_ Shepard thought to himself.  _Like a father._

For the first time since Horizon, Shepard's mind wasn't consumed with rage or pain. In the relative peace, he reflected about the frustrating persistence of Maggie's childhood questions. She'd really loved the "why?" game. "Why do ships run on ezeo?" "Why does his uniform have four stripes?" "Why doesn't mom stay with us?" Why. Why. Why. The bittersweet memories made his throat tighten and chest heave. Shepard hadn't realized he'd let the conversation lapse into silence until the Drell across from him spoke.

"You've lost someone recently," Thane said at last. It wasn't a question, it was a simple statement.

"Collectors took her." Shepard's voice was muted and hollow. He finished the rest of his drink in one long pull.

"Wife?"

"Sister."

"And, the Turian…?"

Shepard shot the Drell an angry look.

"Ah. I see." Thane muttered sagely.

"Keep it to yourself, ok?"

"Of course, Commander. "

Shepard glanced at the Drell, considering.

"Does that change your opinion of the mission?"

Thane straightened subtly and his eyes blurred out of focus. The Assassin looked like he as watching a vid a million miles away.

"Krios?" Shepard prompted.

The Drell returned to himself, glanced at Shepard, and smiled. It was not a warm smile, but a chesire grin that gleamed like a razor in the moonlight. It was bloody terrifying.

"I understand the mission, Commander. Vengeance is something I understand...intimately."

* * *

Shepard took a deep breath and blew it out through his nose. The calming practice eased the pressure from his chest and the tears receded from his eyes. As his vision cleared, he focused on Miranda and her sister from across the bustling transport terminal. In his mind, he repeated the last words of their conversation.

" _Would it really be so bad for her to know she has a sister who loves her?"_

" _I guess not."_

He felt rather than heard Garrus' presence just behind him to his right. Shepard muttered quietly under his breath, knowing that only the Turian's superior sense of hearing allowed him to understand the words.

"I should've contacted Maggie when I had the chance."

Garrus' throat tightened, restraining the emotional surge from his friend's confession. He didn't know what to say, so he remained quiet and just rested his three-taloned hand heavily on his friend's armored shoulder, hoping the touch was comfort enough.

"Shepard… There's something I've wanted to tell you… about why I left the Citadel…"

"What's on your mind, Garrus?"

Garrus hesitated. He couldn't bring himself to add any more pain to his friend's already heavy burdens. But, he owed Shepard the truth.

"After you died, while I was in Spectre training…"

Garrus didn't have the chance to finish. Miranda returned suddenly and entered the elevator with Garrus and Shepard. Both men politely turned away, pretending not to notice the tears in the Cerberus Operative's eyes as Oriana waved goodbye. Miranda didn't turn to look at either of them, but subtly shifted to stand nearly pressed against Shepard. The doors closed and the elevator car headed for the  _Normandy_ docking bay.

"If anyone hurt my sister, I would burn them alive in bloody hellfire," Miranda announced into the silence. She tossed her hair and met the Commander eyes. "The Collectors will never know what hit them, Shepard. I'll do  _whatever_  you need."

"Thank you, Miranda." Shepard intoned awkwardly.

Garrus and Shepard shared a quick glance behind the woman's back, then simultaneously their eyes traveled downward. If Garrus had eyebrows, they would have waggled conspiratorially.

Shepard sighed.

It was just about dinnertime when Shepard, Garrus and Miranda returned to the ship. Shepard was very aware of Miranda walking with exaggerated closeness to him. At one point, her hand even brushed over the thigh plates of his armor. It was an unwelcome distraction from his thoughts which were primarily focused on chow and rack time. Shepard was actually grateful when when Kelly Chambers cheerfully caught his attention.

Shepard nodded for Miranda and Garrus to continue without him as he stepped across the CIC to chat with the Yeoman. He noticed Miranda looking in his direction as she waited next to Garrus for the elevator. Her eyes roaming up his armor in a manner that made him acutely uncomfortable. Shepard turned his attention back to Kelly, who still hadn't stopped talking.

"There is nothing more absolute than the oath of an Asari justicar. You did well to get Samara on our side. She is so elegant and gorgeous. Too bad her manner is just so...cold."

"I didn't recruit her for her looks…" Shepard paused, noting Miranda's jealous glance his direction. Then, he added with a smile "...the  _Normandy_ already has you, Kelly."

"Oh...Shepard," the redhead responded with a giggle. "I wish there were time to get to know you better."

"Why don't you join me in my cabin for a meal? It would give us the chance to talk."

"That sounds wonderful. I've been hoping for some private time with you. Lead the way."

Shepard stepped back and motioned for Kelly to walk ahead of him with a bow and suave sweep of his arm. Together they strode over to Garrus and Miranda, still waiting for the elevator. Miranda glared daggers at Kelly.

The only thing that broke the awkward silence was the slow movement of the elevator and Garrus' barely restrained sniggering.

Shepard practically collapsed into the couch when he and Kelly finally arrived in his cabin. He kicked up his feet and lay his head back against the cool metal of the bulkhead with a sigh. He didn't even notice Kelly's immense frown at the liquor strewn mess of his quarters. She began to pick up empty bottles from the floor.

"I.. uhh.." Shepard tried to think of an excuse for the sorry state of his quarters, but Kelly waived him to silence.

"Go get cleaned up," she instructed, nearly shoving the Commander into the shower.

By the time he'd showered, changed, and dressed, Kelly had set up a pleasant meal on his coffee table complete with two glasses of wine. There was not an empty liquor bottle in sight. She greeted him, beaming, and motioned him to the couch. Shepard smiled awkwardly at the Yeoman.

"Wow...uhmm...Thank you, Kelly. I really appreciate you doing this, but I don't want to give you the wrong idea…" he began clumsily.

Miss Chambers smiled and cut him off with a wave of her hand. To his surprise, she took a seat across from him, instead of next to him on the couch.

"I understand you've had negative experiences with my profession in the past. I saw your psych reports post-Akuze. But, have you ever actually had a therapy session before?"

Shepard blinked and shook his head in mute surprise. Kelly seemed to take that gesture as a response in the negative and continued speaking, pulling out an old fashioned pen and pad of paper.

"Coping with a loss, especially the loss of a family member, is an incredibly difficult and painful process. I think you'll run out of enemies to shoot long before you find peace. If you don't open up about your grief, it will only hurt worse. I think you really just need someone to speak to, in confidence."

Shepard shifted uncomfortably, suddenly regretting the impulsive decision that led him here. He'd been looking to dissuade Miranda more than encouraging Kelly. But, when he looked up at the caring and sympathetic cast to the woman's wide green eyes, something inside him broke. She so  _genuinely_ wanted to help him. His shoulders slumped.

"Does the whole damn crew know?" he asked, frowning.

"They share your grief. Many of them have lost family on the colonies as well. She was your sister, right?"

There was a long empty silence. Kelly was good at her job, one of the best. She waited patiently as Shepard took a slow thoughtful drink of wine and a few bites of his dinner.

"…Her name was Maggie," he began slowly. "Everytime I turn around, I remember something about her. Even on missions - it's like I still can't accept that she's gone."

"Tell me about her."

Shepard did exactly that. He told Kelly about their games of "Human versus Batarian Pirate." He told her about "Rear Admiral FaceBlaster" and the bedtime stories they used to create about adventure and justice. He painted a picture of a sibling he helped raise, teach, and mold into a powerful, unstoppable, irritating, and self-reliant young woman. The kind of person who laughed and punched in equal measures and simply didn't take no for an answer.

He tried to recite the messages they'd shared every month from memory, cursing the destruction of the first  _Normandy_ for destroying the files. He grasped at words to encapsulate the sister he'd lost. The stories of Maggie's antics kept the Yeoman laughing until late into the cycle.

And, for the first time since Horizon, Shepard slept without a bottle in his hand.


	27. Chapter 23: Acceptance

_I can do it_. John Shepard silently reassured himself. He didn't have the breath to say it out loud.

It was like climbing the biggest thing that anyone had ever made, ever. And, he was carrying a tiny brightly-colored backpack that felt like it weighed a million gazillion pounds. His arms were shaking, his tiny feet flailing and scrambling for purchase on the cage-like bars. His grip slipped and he started to fall. Desperately, he lurched upwards and caught himself at the edge of the barrier where he dangled.

He heard her cry again and steeled himself.

_Just a little more._

With a final surge of effort, John hauled himself over the wall and tumbled into the interior of the bassinet. He was careful to fall away from his sister; who let out a babyish giggle as he fell onto her blankets with a huff of expelled breath.

"Owwwie…" The four year old boy complained and his baby sister giggled at his plight.

"Don't laugh!" he scolded her. John righted himself inside her crib and looked around the darkened hospital room with serious and contemplative eyes. Shadows moved across the stark grey walls of the nursery as a shuttle passed outside the window. They were strange and distorted shadows and they danced menacingly with the added imagination of childhood. No wonder she was crying.

Well, that and Mom forgot to feed her again.

Mom, also known as 2nd Lieutenant Hannah Shepard, was staying with her husband in his hospital room down the hall. That was important. The doctors said it was important to talk to him, despite the coma. Sometimes, the nurses even brought John and his baby sister into the room to lay at the bedside of their unconscious father. A hush fell over the hospital staff when the young boy and his sister were present; they hid their sadness with false smiles and forced upbeat charm.

But, John still knew the truth. The doctors didn't think Dad would wake up again. And, they were wrong. He'd told Mom they were wrong, but all she did was cry. It made him cry, too.

But, they were still wrong.

Dad was the strongest Marine there ever was. Snipe and Greaser, Dad's Marine men, had told him so. Dad was so strong and he loved them so much that he just had wake up.

Besides, he still had to meet Maggie.

The young John Shepard shuddered, trying not to think about the bandaged bloody and unconscious body down the hall that used to be his father. Dad would get better and he'd wake up. The alternative simply wasn't something John could imagine. Instead, he focused on his sister who cried again.

"Shhh.. I'm here," he cooed to her, pulling his tiny brightly colored backpack from his shoulder and carefully opening the zipper. Inside was the bottle of milk his mother had prepared but forgotten on the counter in his father's room along with a baby book and a few action figure toys.

"Ba...ba..ba!" demanded the tiny baby.

"Oookaaay!" John huffed and carefully toddled his way to the opposite end of the crib where he settled himself next to his baby sister. The bottle was nearly cold and he hugged it against his own body in an effort to warm it.

"BA...BA...BAAAA!" his sister called again insistently.

"Fine. But, it's cold."

The four year old carefully pulled his baby sister into his lap, holding her head delicately like the nurses had taught him and placed the bottle against her lips. She drank greedily like she hadn't eaten in days.

"Hungry, huh?" the young boy smiled as his sister drank. He held the bottle for her and pet the soft tuft of dark baby hair already starting to curl from her head.

"Dad will wake up soon," he told his sister as she drank. She smiled like only a baby could. For a few minutes at least, the world was at peace.

The hallmark moment was broken by Maggie's sudden cry. She fussed, knocking the bottle away, and young John frowned down at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked. The baby continued to squirm and let out a whimpering, pained, cry. Panicked, John tried to pick her up, hold her, do something to make her happy again. He bounced her gently in his lap. The baby's face contorted, then she exploded with a burp that could have rocked the cosmos. John wrinkled his nose at the smell.

"Ewwww! You're such a brat!" John said laughing, bouncing his sister until she giggled with baby laughter again.

"Ma-ma… ma ma ma," the baby grinned.

"Mom is busy right now."

"Ma..GGGELELE.. GA GA!"

"That's you! MAH-GEE!"

Maggie burped again and John beamed at her proudly.

"I'll take good care of you, Mags," he told her seriously. Then, smiled at her. "Say my name. JOHN. Can you say that? JOOOOO - OOOHHNN"

"Jo- Jo JO JO JO JO JOOOOOOOOO JOJO," the baby echoed.

"No. Not JO-JO. JAAAA-OOOOHN." He tried to correct her.

"JO JO!" The baby declared with finality as she threw both arms upward in celebration. She raised and lowered her arms in jerky fits as she insisted, "Jo-Jo! Jo-Jo! Jo-Jo!"

John sighed.

"Oookaay. You can call me Jo-Jo."

* * *

Commander John Shepard awoke slowly from his dreams, disoriented with the memories of his sister's baby giggles echoing in his head. He noticed two empty wine glasses sitting near the couch. Kelly's therapy session had gone late into the night and Shepard groaned at the lewd gossip that would inevitably be circling the  _Normandy_ this morning.

Resigning himself to his fate, Shepard stumbled into the shower and prepared to face the day.

Mess Sergeant Gardner had scrounged together another barely tolerable pile of slop for breakfast but at least it was still warm when Shepard stumbled out of the elevator, still in a sleepy daze. He'd hardly sat himself with his tray of breakfast when a tumult of raucous laughter erupted at the table nearby. Shepard glanced up angrily, expecting his own late-night session with Yeoman Chambers would be the cause of the outburst. Instead, he observed that Jack was entertaining Thane, Grunt, Jacob, Kelly and the "engineering twins" with a story.

"And then the Volus says… 'I began to  _smell_  my greatness! I am a biotic god!' "

The table toppled into laughter again, especially at Jack's ridiculous impersonation of Volus speech. She even covered her mouth with her hand to imitate the sound of the stout alien's breather. Shepard was forced to smile, reflecting about how Jack's boisterous story-telling was nearly like Maggie's.

Shepard lost track of the conversation when Miranda entered the mess. She caught his eye with a coy smile. Her hips seemed to have more sway than usual when she returned to her office taking her breakfast with her. Shepard glanced down at his meal, frowning.

He was only partially aware of Jack as she continued her story. "And then Shepard said… 'Take a nap, you'll feel better.' And then he shoves the little guy over and he damn near fell asleep on the floor right there! He stumbles off muttering about taking a nap and destroying the universe later."

Shepard winced at Jack's impersonation of his own voice, prompting another round of laughter.

"So much for Godhood," Garrus rumbled.

"I'm sure he slept well that night and dreamt of bulbous women." Thane's voice added thoughtfully.

There was a brief pause at Thane's words. The table collectively stared at him.

"Was that a joke Sere Krios?" Kelly asked, grinning.

"Indeed."

"'e kin really slay 'em!" Ken declared, elbowing Gabby. "eh, eh?  _Slay_ 'em. Get it?"

"You're an idiot," sighed Gabby and the table collapsed into another chorus of laughter. Shepard could feel the smiles aimed at his back as he forced himself to eat, inhaling his food without chewing. Old Marine habits are the toughest to break.

Yeoman Chambers leaned over Shepard's shoulder, placing a mug of coffee in front of him with a yawn.

"Goodness! I haven't stayed up that late since my college days. I had a wonderful evening. Thank you, Shepard."

The coffee was black, just as he liked it. How she'd learned that from a single therapy session, he'd never know. Shepard shifted uneasily, subtly trying to gage if the rest of the crew was listening. The Yeoman's behaviors were not dispelling any potential rumors. But, he'd rather they suspected fraternization rather than therapy.

"Good morning, Kelly. Is there anything I should know about?"

Kelly smiled and set a datapad next to the coffee.

"You  _still_ have unread messages at your private terminal. And, Samara would like to see you in the Observation room."

Jack's voice interrupted their conversation.

"So, is that the last of Illium, Shepard? Can we get the hell of this rock and head to Pragia?"

Shepard ignored the anxious stares from the crew as he peered at the data pad.

"One more thing. We'll be gone by tomorrow."

* * *

Back on Nos Astra, Shepard peered over Garrus' shoulder as the Turian fiddled with his omni-tool at the final terminal of Liara's five possible Shadow Broker agents. Thane kept a silent vigil as a look-out, his pistol drawn but hidden neatly behind his leg.

"So, when did you become such a wiz at communication systems, Garrus?"

Shepard asked the question lightly, a hint of his teasing banter to keep the party relaxed. Garrus paused in his work, glancing over his shoulder at Shepard, his mandibles pulled tightly against his jaw in the Turian expression of a frown. Garrus' voice was rough and low.

"Maggie taught me."

"Oh."

There was no more mission banter after that.

Garrus extracted the remnants of the audio files and played them for Shepard. He immediately opened a channel to Liara.

"All five of the suspects are male, and The Observer is female. Something's not right. Who gave you this lead?"

"My assistant, Nyxeris, gave me the information." Liara paused and repeated thoughtfully. "Nyxeris gave me the information..." There was a click and Liara's voice changed as if she were speaking away from the terminal. "Nyxeris, could I see you in here for a moment?"

Liara's tone was terrifyingly cold. All three men glanced at one another, sharing the same thought simultaneously.

"Shepard, I'll talk to you later." Liara's voice echoed before the line went dead. As one unit, the three men turned and sprinted towards the Asari information broker's offices.

Again, Shepard bounded up the stairs two at a time. This time, it was not eagerness at a reunion with Liara to that drove his haste, but a genuine fear for her safety. He came barreling into her office so quickly that he tripped over the pieces of Nyxeris that littered the floor of Liara's office.

Liara smiled up at him from her desk as if she hadn't a care in the world. Small droplets of blue dotted her cheek. Liara began speaking conversationally as if there weren't gibed pieces of her assistant littering the room.

"Shepard! It's good to see you again."

She nodded at him to take a seat. Garrus and Thane took defensive positions near the door. Thane's boot nudged at one of the bloody pieces of Asari on the floor and he nodded approvingly. Shepard moved cautiously to avoid the pools of blue blood as he sat across from Liara, studying her warily.

"Nyxeris had some interesting data hidden away," Liara continued casually. "Thank you, Shepard. I wouldn't have caught her without you. I'm one step closer to the Shadow Broker thanks to you."

"Did you have any trouble with Nyxeris?" Shepard asked in a teasing tone. He managed to get a warm smile from his Asari lover, their eyes locking tenderly at the jest.

"Her barriers needed practice. Practice I'm afraid she won't be getting."

They looked at each other fondly for a moment, from across the table they touched each other's fingers before Shepard pulled away, refocusing on business.

"What's the next step on your hunt?"

"I gather information. Shine light into the shadows. And, when I find the Shadow Broker - I hit him with a biotic field so strong that's what's left of his body will fit into a coffee cup."

Her words were hard, angry, and unshakable. She had a terrifying manic smile and Shepard matched it with his own. They shared another quiet moment of understanding.

Vengeance is a universal language.

Shepard fondly reflected on the Asari in front of him a moment before finally asking what had been bothering him since their first conversation.

"That anger can't be just from what you've told me. What else happened between you and the Shadow Broker?"

For a moment, he was afraid she wouldn't answer. She just turned away and stared out the windows of her office.

"Did Cerberus ever tell you how they recovered your body?" she asked. Shepard shook his head. "I gave it to them. I gave  _you_ to them."

Liara began her confession and revealed her battles in the two years he'd been dead. The Shadow Broker was trying to sell his body to the Collectors. Liara had sacrificed everything, even her partner, to recover him. And, then turned him over to Cerberus for the promise that they could bring him back.

Now, he understood why the Collectors had targeted Maggie. They were after his body, his DNA, and his sister's was as close as they could get. And, now they had it. He failed to suppress the shudder that ran down his spine.

Shepard listened patiently. Somehow, he knew Liara's actions were all ultimately driven by her love for him. Despite the building fear of what the Collectors would do with his sister, Shepard reassured Liara that he was grateful and she had done the right thing. It was what she needed to hear.

"Thank you, Shepard. I was afraid you'd hate me, like your sister. I'm not sure she'll ever forgive me for working with Cerberus. I'm not sure she'll forgive  _you_  either."

Shepard blinked.

_Oh god. She doesn't know._

Shepard glanced back at Garrus who looked down at his feet, shaking his head sadly. Liara looked back and forth between the two men.

"What is it?" She asked, confused.

"Liara… I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this. But, Maggie…" his voice trembled, "...she was taken by the Collectors at Horizon."

Liara stared at Shepard mutely for a moment, then a small, coy smile curled around her lips.

"It's bad for business to divulge information without a fee. But, perhaps there is a certain symmetry in this case. I owe you this much, Shepard"

"...Symmetry? What do you mean, Liara?"

"The galaxy thought you were dead, until you showed up on Omega. I'm not surprised that your sister would do the same."

* * *

The ambush is an art form. When done well, it is beautiful to watch.

In stunned silence, Garrus, Thane, and Shepard watched yesterday's footage of Liara's agent paying off several Blue Suns for information. As soon as the deal was completed, the power was cut and the ambush began. The trap was clean, meticulous, and professional.

When the lights returned, only bodies remained.

On the screen, a blur of movement coalesced into the form of a Human female, strolling casually through the carpet of corpses. The figure hunched over the bodies, searching each corpse before locating a datadisc amongst the dead. After scanning the item with an omni-tool, the woman brandished the disc in victory to someone, unseen by the camera. She skipped away happily, only pausing to glance up at the camera recording her.

Garrus didn't need to see her face. He'd already identified her based on the modified Mantis sniper rifle slung across the figure's back. He'd know that rifle anywhere. It used to be his.

The face of Margaret Lynn Shepard smiled up at the security camera with a knowing gleam of malice in her dark eyes. She tossed her hair from her vision, blew a kiss, then leveled a pistol at the camera. At the sound of the shot, the screen dissolved into static. From start to finish, the entire scene had taken less than a minute.

Garrus and Shepard stared in stunned silence at the screen; both trying to process what they had just witnessed.

"I've managed to locate fourteen such attacks." Liara reported calmly. "The locals are calling her the Butcher of Omega."

"She's headstrong and sloppy. I hope we're not planning on recruiting her," Thane observed casually.

"She's alive…" The relief and surprise was obvious in Shepard's voice. "...But, what the hell is she doing on Omega?"

Liara glanced out of the corner of her eye at Garrus. Her voice carried a subtle weight of accusation.

"She's looking for Archangel."


	28. Chapter 24: Misinformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drksyders here! Many apologies for the long delay in posting. I'm going to do my best to update monthly. Also, for some reason this chapter was very troublesome. I hope the 7th rewrite is the charm. Especially, since I think the TEAM is really sick of reading it. I'll probably have another stand-alone story up soon too. We really appreciate everyone's comments and follows. Enjoy!

**Chapter 24: Misinformation**

_It can't end here._  Maggie thought to herself as she fell.

Tiny windows blurred past her. The wind pulled tears from her eyes. Shards of glass sparkled in a cloud around her and the ground rushed up to meet her.

_I will not die here._

Grinding her teeth in determination, Maggie managed to twist her body midair and meet the ground feet-first. She crumpled with the impact and rolled onto her shoulders, diverting most of the momentum of her twelve-story swan dive into a roll. Luckily, the alley was carpeted with a knee-high layer of garbage that had cushioned her fall and absorbed most of the impact.

As she rolled, Maggie felt a hard punch in her lower back and she tumbled wildly off balance. Her whole gut exploded into a blinding white hot burn. After several flailing spins, she skidded to a stop. Bits of garbage exploded around her with tiny pops and Maggie threw herself into the nearest cover, face first. After a dozen panicked heartbeats, the shots ceased and with a growl of pain, Maggie slowly rolled on her back.

The reddish grey skyline of Omega smiled down upon her as she lay on her back, half buried in filth. Maggie spat a piece of something, she didn't want to know what, out of her mouth and inhaled the foul-smelling Omega pollution in agonizing breaths.

"I hate... this fucking... station," she panted.

Maggie took stock of her situation while she caught her breath. Her onmi-tool was blown to hell. Her armor was fried and torn. Her standard-issue Phalanx pistol was still at her hip, but she'd used all her thermal clips on the first wave of Blue Suns; so, it might as well have been a paperweight. Maggie came to the conclusion that she was battered, bleeding, exhausted from the rooftop pursuit, and she'd probably sprained her ankle in the fall.

And, that wasn't the worst of it.

With a groan of effort she sat up and touched the pocket of her armor. The datadisc was still intact, despite the fall. Then, she touched the bloody exit-wound just above her right hip and spasmed in pain.

John was a big fucking liar. Getting shot  _really_  hurt.

There was no time to indulge that bitterness. Two Salarian heads appeared over the edge of the building's roof above her. Even from 14 stories above, she could make out their expressions of menace when they spotted her. The Blue Suns insignias were clearly visible as they turned to shout behind them, summoning another six Blue Suns who appeared to peer down at her. Then, they leveled their weapons.

_Well, fuck._

Maggie's lungs burned and she couldn't even feel her legs. But still, she pushed herself upright and began to run through the knee-high debris that carpeted the alley. Bullets whizzed past her, ricocheting about in the tiny alley. It was a miracle she wasn't turned into swiss cheese. Instead, she kept running full-tilt down the cesspit maze of the slums with two dozen Blue Suns mercs only moments behind.

In desperation Maggie turned a blind corner of the alley, only to discover a dead end. A solid steel wall butted the end of the alley, destroying all hopes for escape. Maggie gaped at the impassable obstacle.

"FUCK!" She screamed in futile rage.

Blood now sheeted down her flank, pulsing in rivulets down her leg and mixing into the refuse of the alley. Despite the moist stifling heat, she was shivering badly. The angry voices of Blue Sun mercs echoed from the alley behind her. When she looked back, she saw her own stumbling path through the knee-high carpet of trash and excrement. It looked like a channel cut through fresh snow and it might have well been a giant bioluminescent flashing sign advertising her location.

"I am  _not_ going to die on this shit-eating, disgusting, god-for-saken, pile of…" Maggie began as she turned to make her final stand. The harsh red light of Omega cast a giant, looming silhouette of the woman on the wall behind and glinted with eerie fire in her eyes. She took one menacing step forward, but her legs gave out beneath her and she slumped sobbing into the trash.

Maggie crawled on her belly, following her own path in the trash while her mind scrambled in panic. It was hard to focus. Even her own body was an enemy, stubbornly refusing to obey to the commands she issued to it. The pain and cold moved up her side from the bullet wound like a Hanar's tentacles, constricting tighter around the muscles and bones of her right side. Her head swam and her vision blurred with tears.

The voices of her pursuers were louder now, no more than a hundred yards behind. She had only seconds until they were right on top of her. Maggie's heart beat wildly and her vision tunneled to a pinpoint.

The last thing the youngest Shepard remembered thinking, before the blackness took her, was how much she fucking hated Omega.

* * *

Maggie floated and swayed in time to the weird alien music. It was a good sound, despite the awkward reverberation inside of her environmental suit. She was drunk, happily so, and dancing badly. But, when you're surrounded by Turians, no one will comment on your poor dancing.

_This isn't real. This is a memory._  Somewhere a voice in the back of her head cautioned.

"Solana, this is the best party ever!" Maggie declared and caught her friend's three-taloned hand in her own as they danced. She swung the much larger woman about in circles and they fell against each other laughing.

_A good memory._

"Spirits bless your next solar rotation!" Solana echoed, helping her friend upright.

"Why don't you just say 'Happy New Year'?"

"The year is not new. It's just another trip around the sun."

Maggie threw back her head with a throaty laugh.

"You bloody Turians!"

Together, Solana Vakarian and Margaret Shepard drunkenly stumbled through the biggest Solar Rotation party Palaven had ever seen. Maggie got strange looks, being the only Human in attendance. But, she was fearless, throwing punches and cursing like a soldier to anyone who gave her trouble. Strangely enough, that was attracting more male attention than she would have guessed.

"Hey, Sol! What's that about?" Maggie asked, nodding to a pair of Turians touching foreheads in a corner.

"Spirits… in public…." Solana looked mildly disturbed.

"We've seen fully naked Turians running around here tonight and  _that's_  obscene? It looks cute!"

"I forget you're not a Turian sometimes. That's the Bond. You don't do that in public."

"The Bond? You mean like Bond Mark?"

"The Bond takes place between close Turians, especially family. I don't know how to explain it. It's like a promise of loyalty. The Bond Mark only happens for mates."

"I bet that green lab tech at the hospital wants to bond  _your_ mark, Sol!" Maggie teased, collapsing into breathless laughter.

"Spirits, you really have drunk too much. Garrus, get her home."

_Wait… that didn't happen._

Maggie blinked in confusion and, to her surprise, Garrus stepped out of the crowd. His blue targeting visor stood out proudly amongst the dancing party-goers and colorful lights. Solana pushed her friend towards her brother and Maggie stumbled drunkenly into his arms. She looked up at him, dumbfounded. Garrus held her upright firmly, stroking her cheek with the back of his taloned hand.

_Wait… where'd my environmental suit go?_

"I got her, Sol. Common, Pyjack… Let's get you home." Garrus' deep comforting voice rumbled.

"...home?" Maggie echoed, the word foreign to her lips. Garrus was pulling her away from the party, his warmth and unspoken vibrations comforting her. He was pulling her towards a blinding and beautiful white light.

"Come home with me," Garrus encouraged gently.

Trancelike, Maggie followed him towards the light. It really  _did_ feel like coming home.

A loud explosion behind them caused them both to spin around, away from the soothing light. The west wall erupted inward and hundreds of fully armored Blue Suns flooded into the party, shooting wildly. The panicked stampede of Turian party goers was pushing her away from the light and from Garrus. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Maggie knew she needed to hunt those Blue Suns. But, she couldn't remember why and stubbornly clung to Garrus' talons as he tried to pull her towards the light despite the press of bodies.

"...Garrus?!" Maggie called.

Maggie lost her grip on his talons and she desperately grabbed towards him. But, the surging crowd overwhelmed her, suffocating her and pushing her back. Flashing lights and alien bodies washed over her like a wave, driving her yet further from Garrus and the welcoming white light behind him. The thumping music, screams and gunshots gradually morphed into a series of computerized nagging alerts.

_This isn't real...this can't be real._

"GARRUS!"

Maggie's body spasmed and she jerked awake, calling his name and tumbling out of bed in a tangle of blankets and wires. She flailed at the restrictions angrily, still lost in her dream. The nagging alerts were actually medical equipment flashing and beeping with alarm.

Suddenly, Human hands were upon her, forcing her back into the bed with surprising strength and a gentle voice soothed her.

"Easy...easy… Please stay calm. No one will hurt you here."

Maggie jerked her head nervously from side to side and was shocked to find herself on a hospital bed in a clinic guarded by mechs and a smattering of human and alien medical personnel.

"Where…. where am I?" Maggie stammered. Her tongue felt too big for her mouth and she smacked her lips together a few times. "Why is my face numb?"

"Analgesics and sedatives. It's a miracle you're awake right now," answered a blurry human voice. The hands pushed her down against the bed once more before she could struggle again. "Please don't move. We don't have enough human blood in stock if you reopen your wounds."

"W-what…. h-how…" Maggie stammered. She tried to resist the man's gentle pressure on her shoulder but a dull ache and taut sensation in her lower back advised against any more movement. Below the tightness, she could feel nothing.

"A Batarian scavenger brought you in two hours ago. You've been shot. You're suffering from internal bleeding, shock, and severe blood loss."

"W-where?" Maggie croaked.

"He found you buried in garbage in Blue Suns territory."

Slowly, memories started to return. The botched escape. The rooftop chase. The dead end. And finally, crawling through her own channel of garbage and burying herself in the unspeakable filth. Apparently, the Blue Suns had followed her false trail to the dead end and never thought to double back.

Damn lucky.

"No… I can't… the Suns..." She protested, trying to rise again. The Doctor held her firm. She was like a kitten trying to free itself from a Krogan.

The young man smiled down at her with warmth, tenderness, and patience. " _This_  is Dr. Solus' medical clinic," the young man said with unmistakable pride. "I'm Doctor Daniel Abrams, I'm in charge...for now. You are safe here. You have my word, I won't leave your side."

* * *

When Maggie's eyes fluttered open two days later, it was the pain that greeted her first. Pain so deep in her gut and widespread through her body that it overwhelmed her other senses entirely. Even with her eyes open and her consciousness returning, she couldn't quite make sense of her surroundings. Her mind simply couldn't process anything beyond the pain. Movement and sound continued to jumble together and all she could do was let out small whimpering gasps.

As promised, Doctor Abrams was right by her side, administering low-grade neural inhibitors into her system through her IV.

Gradually the drugs did their job and Maggie's senses cleared. She blinked in surprise at the man leaning over her, holding her hand. She looked down to her hand and back to the Doctor accusingly. The man released his gentle grip on her fingers and stepped back awkwardly.

"Uhh… hello. I mean, rather, uh… Good morning." Daniel greeted her, fumbling in the pockets of his lab coat.

"Doctor," Maggie replied with a curt nod.

Daniel eventually produced a flashlight and shone it into each of her eyes, mumbling to himself in rapid chatter.

"Speech confirmed. Pupil dilation normal. Heart rate strong. Blood pressure nominal. No sign of brain damage or oxygen deprivation. Can you move your legs?"

Without speaking, Maggie obediently wiggled her toes and lifted each leg in turn. Her suspicious glare never turning away from the doctor.

"Excellent!" he prattled on, turning to a nearby terminal. "Risk of spinal injury from bullet entry. No paralysis. Surgery went well. Internal organs operational. Minor lacerations disinfected. No lasting damage. Possible risk of infection. Soreness. Recommend pain management, antibiotics, and iron supplements for blood loss."

Maggie winced as she pushed herself upright and swung her legs over the edge of the hospital bed.

"And, clothes perhaps, Doctor?"

Daniel's head jerked quickly towards her and then just as quickly towards the floor. The young man blushed deeply.

"I-I'm sorry," he fumbled. "When I'm working… I tend to lose track of other things." While still keeping his eyes locked solidly on the floor, he tried to pass Maggie a smattering of fresh clothes which Maggie snatched from his hands. "A bit like my teacher really…" he smiled apologetically.

"Right, Doc."

Maggie dressed as quickly as her aching body would allow. She seemed unaffected by her own nakedness or the Doctor's apparent embarrassment.

"Thanks for patching me up. What do I owe you?"

Daniel looked affronted. "I wouldn't dream of charging people in need. All of our services are free of charge and..."

He trailed off as Maggie wandered across the room directly towards her bloody and filthy possessions. The Doctor watched in mute fascination as she rummaged through the pile, located a datadisc and sighed with relief. She quickly tucked the disc into her shirt and absent-mindedly flicked a credit chit towards the Doctor who fumbled the catch awkwardly.

"For your silence, then. I was never here," Maggie explained. She shouldered her pack and headed towards the door.

"Wait a moment… Miss!?" the Doctor called after her. "You're just going back out there? With the Blue Suns?!" He paused to wait for an answer, but Maggie kept walking. "It's not safe!" Again, she did not respond and he chased after her. "They put a bounty on you!"

Now, Maggie stopped and glanced over her shoulder.

"How much?" she asked, grinning.

The Doctor shook his head in disbelief.

"You're crazy, you know that? Going after the Blue Suns like this. Certifiable Risk Assessment Disorder. Just like that other crazy bastard."

"What other crazy bastard? Who else is going after the Suns?"

* * *

Maggie tried to ignore the soreness in her back as she crouched and waited. Her injuries had healed well while she tracked her new mark and eventually managed to make contact through a broker named Grizz. He'd been surprisingly expensive.

Now, she waited to see if her investment would pay off.

She watched the stranger move through the small restaurant in the seedier side of Omega. All of Omega was seedy, but even shit has lighter and darker shades. The man matched his description exactly; an old, scarred, brutal looking Human with one-eye. He took a seat in the section they had appointed and nursed a drink that looked as sour as him.

Maggie's new infiltration cloak was decent, but if she moved too quickly the optics would blur against the background and reveal her position. As far as she could tell, the Mercenary was not being followed and the meeting was as secure as anything on Omega. She'd just have to take the risk.

Maggie moved from the corner, her infiltration cloak buzzing before shutting down. She lurked quietly and materialized at the man's side.

"Mr. Massani, I presume?" She asked.

The man's head jerked towards her.

"If the job's solid, there's no need to stand on ceremony, luv. It's just Zaeed."

Zaeed studied the girl closely as she slid into the seat across from him. Her caramel coloring, sunken cheek-bones and bloodshot almond eyes detracted from her otherwise youthful appearance. The girl looked skinny, tired, young, and desperate. Zaeed noted with exacerbation that she hadn't even ditched the Alliance issue pistol strapped to her thigh. The serial number would track right back to her service record no doubt.

_Another bloody charity case,_ the old mercenary sighed to himself.  _Another victim who'd tumbled down the rabbit hole called Omega._

His contacts had reported that some Alliance girl had been sniffing around the Blue Suns. She'd broken into a storage depot, killed a few, and gotten a price put on her head. A  _really_  high price. Grizz said she was a sweet, innocent, young thing in over her head and needing protection. Zaeed had stupidly taken the bait.

"What can I do for you, Miss?"

"I'm...looking for someone,  _Mr. Massani,_ " Maggie began, after she was seated. "And, I need someone to watch my back while I work. I'll be paying in trade. Blue Suns data, specifically. Grizz said you'd be amenable to that."

"Grizz wouldn't say where you got your data. Is it solid?"

"Straight from the source. I pulled it off the bodies myself."

It took most of the mercenary's self-control not to laugh and he hid the smile behind his drink.

"No offense, luv. But, why in the seven hells should I believe you? You're a goddamn kid."

Maggie smiled wolfishly. "I can get you Vido Santiago."

Zaeed froze and the good-natured smile fell away from his face. He took another look at his new client, turning his head again to look at her with his good eye. This time, he noted the military-grade infiltrator's cloak and heavily modified sniper rifle. She moved with an easy, efficient confidence that indicated some level of training. And, her omni-tool was something he'd never seen before.

She batted her eyelashes at him innocently and Zaeed immediately realized that he and Grizz had both been played for fools.

"Do I have your attention?" she prompted.

"What do you  _really_ want?" he growled, anger rising.

"I'm looking for Archangel. A Batarian Blue Suns peon named Serk survived the assault on the bridge. He knows where Archangel was taken"

"Taken, eh? Don't you watch the vids? Archangel's dead. Those that survived the shit-storm are pattin' themselves on the back."

"And...you believe them?"

"I don't believe anything I see on the vids."

Maggie pulled a datapad from her pack and slid it across the table. "The Batarian is making a run for it. He's deserting the  _Suns_. You know damn well what they do to deserters. Whatever he saw scared him. He's tried to book passage on several transports. All the information is here."

Zaeed took a moment and glanced over the datapad. The information was impressive and thorough. It spoke of highly paid sources or a master hacker; maybe both.

"So, Vido for Archangel, eh?"

"Yup."

"Ah, well. There might be a surcharge. Are you paying for alive or dead?"

"Which is cheaper?"

"Dead."

"I'll take 'alive' - with a synth protein wrap and a side of fries. Since lunch is on you."

That prompted a hearty laugh from the mercenary.

"You're alright then, luv."

* * *

_Bloody hell was I dead wrong about this one._  Zaeed reflected to himself, watching the small armor-clad girl hold a Salarian's head in a toilet. He glanced back over his shoulder to ensure they were alone in the bathroom.

"The name of the ship!" Maggie demanded again of the gurgling Salarian. "Where are they taking him?"

Zaeed yawned. There wasn't even any fun in it anymore. Besides, Salarians were amphibians. It took a lot to drown them.

Each day working with Ms. Maggie brought another ambush and the body count climbed. On the second day, Zaeed had learned the girl's name. The fourth day provided the confidential locations and access codes for Vido Santiago's mining facility. By the eighth, the locals had begun calling her the "Butcher of Omega" and by the tenth, Zaeed agreed she'd earned it.

But, this was the seventeenth assault and they were getting close to the truth now. It had taken longer than expected, but then again, there had been a lot of rumors to chase.

Some said the Blue Suns had killed Archangel, others had whispered that the Eclipse were torturing him in Aria's dungeons. The Vorcha claimed that the Blood Pack had eaten his body to gain his power and a twitching red-sand dealer reported that Cerberus had recruited him.

Still others claimed that he was kidnapped by a Spectre.

The only sure thing was that a Batarian, Serk, had  _seen_  the ship Archangel went to and could ID who ultimately took the rogue vigilante off the station. Serk had petitioned the Shadow Broker for protection in exchange for this information. But, the rookie Batarian was too hasty, too panicked, and too sloppy. Instead of a fat deal and a heap of credits, he'd been loaded on a ship full of unsavory characters enroute to the horrible justice of Blue Suns.

And, now Maggie was slowly drowning the only Salarian who knew where.

"This is going to take a bloody lifetime, lass. Salarians don't breathe like we do. He's not going to break."

Maggie spoke loudly to make sure her Salarian captive could hear.

"Yeah. But, who knows who used this shitter last. No one's flushed it in weeks."

A panicked wail sounded from inside the commode and the Salarian's feet began to thrash wildly. Maggie grinned and kept her grip firm on the back of the Salarian's head.

"I know a Doctor who might be able to help with whatever horrible infection you're currently contracting, buddy. But, unless you give me someplace else to be… I think I might just stay riiiiiight here."

Zaeed had never seen a Salarian rattle off coordinates so quickly. By the time he hung up the calls to confirm the information, Maggie had already knocked the poor bugger unconscious.

"So, when are we going?" Maggie asked gleefully.

"My connections in the Terminus are going to intercept the ship. I arranged to have the bastard delivered back here to Omega."

"So, when are picking him up?" Maggie asked in the exact same childish tone.

"Look here, girlie...I don't doubt your courage. But, this is not the kind of meeting you bring a lady to."

"I'm not a lady."

"Well, you're not a bloody Krogan either. You want my help, we do it my way." Zaeed glanced at Maggie's frown and suddenly felt the inexplicable urge to reassure her.

"I'll make it quick," he added hastily. "I got another deal in the works, anyway."

"Do I get my credits back if you get dead?"

"I ain't getting dead, luv. I got unfinished business with Vido."

"Fine. Make the deal and set up a meet at Afterlife when he's delivered."

Maggie stomped away from the mercenary without saying goodbye. Maggie liked the old merc. She liked his stories, his attitude, and his ruthless efficiency. Working with him left a trail of bodies and a smile.

That made it all the harder to kill him.

A few days ago, the bastard had received a substantial payment from a Cerberus shell company. It could have just been a coincidence. But, Maggie didn't believe in coincidence in  _this_ shitty galaxy. She just hoped she could get the information on Garrus' location and split before Zaeed and his Cerberus pals sprung whatever trap they were planning.

She'd just have to stay one step ahead.

Maggie was half-way back to her hotel when her rebuilt omni-tool pinged. Her wrist displayed an encrypted message on her private servers. There were only five omni-tools in the galaxy that had access to her jury-rigged quantum entanglement system and this one was from  _his_. Her heart leapt into her throat.

_Maggie -_

_I know you're on Omega and you're looking for me. I was wounded, but survived. Your brother and I are coming to get you. Meet us at Afterlife 2200 in two days. I'll explain everything._

_Be safe,_

_\- G_

She stared blankly at the message. "Your brother and I," it said.

_Garrus knows John is dead… How could he possibly say something so cruel. It's not possible. Is it a code? Is he trying to warn me?_

She sprinted the rest of the way to her shitty hotel room and was typing at the terminal before her butt even touched the chair. She dug into the message encryptions, trying to determine what it could possibly mean. She only found one thing: the message originated on a highly advanced ship. As she back-traced the signal encryption, she found that the ship was built by Cerberus and that same ship had been docked on Omega the day Archangel went missing.

She couldn't stop the silent tears nor her hands from shaking, blurring the holo keyboard. Maggie whispered to herself in horror.

_Oh god….Cerberus has Garrus._


	29. Chapter 25: Friend or Foe?

**Chapter 25: Friend or Foe?**

"What do you mean 'Stay on the ship', Shepard?! Have you lost your fucking mind?!"

Garrus' voice reverberated in the forward battery while he paced like a caged beast. Shepard was startled by the sheer volume. It made his new cybernetic eardrums ache.

"I would not trust a Cerberus operative as far as I could piss and you need someone watching your back on Omega…" the Turian continued, hardly taking a breath.

_I'm a Cerberus operative, now._  Shepard thought to himself darkly.

The former Commander turned away from Garrus and ignored the rest of his profanity-laden tirade. Shepard didn't want to look at his friend anyway. Garrus' bandages and mutilated mandible gave him a feral look and it made him slightly uncomfortable. Shepard remembered the destruction the Turian had unleashed on Horizon and, unconsciously, his hand lurked near his pistol.

"...and don't even get me started on the crazy kid downsta-" Garrus was saying when Shepard interrupted him, his voice low.

"I don't want you coming with me."

Garrus stared at his friend in pure shock as if Shepard had just grown a second head.

"You can't be serious. I can help you. I know Omega inside and out."

"Omega knows you too. That is exactly why you are staying put."

"The message to meet Maggie came from me. She'll be looking for me!" Garrus shot back. He paused a moment and his shoulders slumped. "And, she hasn't responded. Something may have happened."

Shepard remained silent, matching Garrus' gaze at the floor. The same fear had been gnawing at his gut ever since Liara had told them of Maggie's presence on Omega. A hefty bounty had been looming over Maggie's head and Omega was exactly the kind of place where people would take notice of a sum like that. So far, it remained uncollected according to the intranet. But, Liara's sources were four days old already.

A lot could happen in four days on Omega.

"Look, Shepard," Garrus began softly. "There's…. something I haven't told you…. about Maggie and me. We...uhh.." Garrus fumbled, faced his friend, and marshaled his courage. "We were more than friends. We...uh.. well… You were gone and things just..."

"I know," Shepard interrupted, again.

"You…know?" Garrus took an involuntary step back, eying Shepard's hand near his pistol.

"Maggie and I got no secrets, Garrus. Besides, the way you lost your shit at Horizon, it was pretty obvious you two had something."

Garrus stared at Shepard in mute astonishment and, if Shepard hadn't been so frustrated, he might have enjoyed the slack-mandibled look of confusion on his friend's face.

"S-she told you?" Garrus stammered. "I thought she didn't know you were alive."

Shepard dropped his eyes and tried to hide the pain in his face. Instead, he stared at his clenched fist, watching the imagined cybernetic parts beneath his skin.

"No. Cerberus gathers a lot of intel."

"Oh."

They stood together awkwardly for several moments. Garrus shifted uncomfortably before adding softly.

"Then, you know I want to be there. To make sure she's ok." Garrus paused, simply unable to find the words. "She's...important to me."

Cold fear went through Shepard's gut. Those were the same words Kaidan had spoken on Virmire.

"It doesn't change anything, Garrus. If you're recognized or get yourself killed, you're no good to either of us." His voice became hard as steel. "You will stay aboard the ship and not step a single claw onto Omega. That is an order. Are we clear?"

Garrus visibly bristled under the voice of command and started to pace once more as the silence stretched. He remembered his father's lectures and that last awkward conversation under fire on the bridge.

_Work with what you got…_  His father had said. Garrus pulled up short, facing the bulkhead with his back to Shepard.

"Fine. Understood, Commander."

Shepard felt the sudden distance between them.

"I'll have her back on the ship before you know it..." Shepard tried to comfort his friend. "...And, you two can work out whatever went wrong."

Garrus turned, sputtering and waving his talons. "What? No! No! Nothing went wrong..."

"Riiiiight… that's why you were playing Batman on Omega and she's on the opposite side of the galaxy."

"Batman?" Garrus tilted his head to the side in that bird-like gesture of confusion, mandibles clicking.

"Maggie never talked to you about, Batman? We loved him as kids. Bah, nevermind. Ask her about it when you two kiss and make up."

Garrus shifted with obvious discomfort. "That's...uhmm...complicated, Shepard."

Shepard scoffed and turned towards the door.

"Isn't it always?"

He was nearly halfway down the battery row when Garrus called after him.

"Shepard? Are you ok with it?"

"With what?"

"Maggie and me…"

"Oh. That."

He paused a moment, tapping his chin in thought as he studied the anxious look on Garrus' plates with a smirk.

"It's fine by me… they make bags in all sizes. She can find one to go over your big ugly head."

They laughed together and immediately Garrus winced, putting a talon to his face. "Ha ha… Oww.. oh… spirits, Shepard. Don't make me laugh."

* * *

Shepard's armor scraped reassuringly against his grenade launcher as he disembarked with Thane and Jacob onto Omega. The foul smell of the station made his trigger finger itch. Dark fantasies of violence and power crept into the back of his mind. But, Maggie's safety was his all encompassing mission now and the entire population of Omega his enemy.

Less than fifteen paces from the docking bay, Garrus' warnings proved justified. The party nearly tripped over a fight in progress. An older, scared Human was proceeding to beat the snot out of a Batarian.

There were very few men with that level of brutality. Shepard recognized the man's face from his dossier files.

"You Zaeed Massani?" Shepard asked.

The lean man paused in his assault to inspect the new arrivals.

"Yeah. That's me. You must be Commander Shepard. I hear we have a galaxy to save."

_I'll say one thing for Cerberus,_  Shepard thought bitterly,  _they are efficient._

The conversation went straight forward enough, punctuated by pauses to allow Zaeed to smack the Batarian around a few more times. Shepard felt sorry for the poor creature. He took a step towards the wounded alien, trying to interpose himself between the Merc and his victim.

The Batarian looked up at Shepard with four weary eyes and an expression of gratitude. From one heartbeat to the next, the alien's gratitude turned to panicked recognition and the poor sot scrambled to his feet to flee.

The Batarian barely made it a dozen paces before Zaeed placed a bullet in the alien's gut.

"I better turn this thing in before it starts to stink," Zaeed smirked. "I'll be locked and loaded next time you're ready to get some killing done."

Shepard' instincts twinged at the idea of leaving the wounded Batarian alone with the mercenary. It was almost as if the Batarian had recognized him.

"Jacob. Why don't you assist Mr. Massani here with his delivery. He looks heavy. You can help him find his way back to the ship when you're finished."

Zaeed spun on Shepard and they locked eyes. "I don't need a bloody babysitter. I'm true to my word."

"I never said you weren't. I just have a galaxy to save."

The two men studied each other before Zaeed relented, surly and grumpy as an old Krogan.

"Fine. We'll do things your way, Shepard. Don't want to get blood on my armor, anyways. It looks better on uniforms."

"Keep in radio contact." Shepard instructed Jacob, quietly. "I'll call you when we're on our way back to the ship." Jacob nodded curtly in acknowledgment.

With that, Shepard glanced towards Thane and they silently walked past the groaning Batarian, leaving Zaeed and Jacob to study each other suspiciously.

Zaeed bowed at the waist, with a mocking sweep of his arm towards the gut-shot alien.

"Well, pick 'em up, Jacob. You don't want to keep a lady waiting."

* * *

In the lower levels of Afterlife, Maggie picked a better stalking point this time, one which didn't involve holding still in awkward positions that aggravated her injuries. She was cloaked, her back to a wall, and watching the entrance. Her anxiety was at it's height, knowing damn well there was a trap waiting for her. She could feel her fluttering heart pounding against her ribcage.

Zaeed's message said he was bringing their Batarian target and a guest. Maggie didn't like the change of plans. She liked being outnumbered even less. But, she didn't have any choice if she was going to attain the information she needed about Archangel's location. Zaeed was probably just laying a trap for his new Cerberus employers. She couldn't really blame the surly old Merc.

_For that kinda money, I'd be betray me too._  Maggie thought sourly as the minutes dragged on.

Fear continued to send paranoid scenarios into her imagination. Afterall, Garrus would never give up his omni-tool willingly, Cerberus had to have him incapacitated somehow.

_Or he's dead._  A small voice in the back of her mind whispered.

She felt the tears threaten once again and her hands started to shake.

_Hold it together… Just hold it together…_

Zaeed stalked into the club and interrupted Maggie's paranoid fantasies. He was followed by a tall, dark, man in a Cerberus uniform half-carrying a bleeding Batarian. The trio sat at the appointed meeting spot. Ice formed in her gut and started slowly spreading outward. She had to admire Zaeed. He didn't even try to hide his new affiliation with Cerberus.

Maggie considered her options. If she were in Zaeed's spot and trying to kill a former colleague, she'd have kept her backup waiting in the shadows at long-range while she lured her target into the open. If Zaeed were trying to kill her, why would he openly flaunt his backup? Perhaps Zaeed held her in higher regard and would give her the honor of an open confrontation. Or, maybe he was going to offer another deal entirely.

She waited and scanned the club in vain, searching for Garrus, her heart sinking with every passing moment. She turned her attention back to Zaeed and the Batarian. The Cerberus soldier was getting restless.

Nothing she could think of made any sense. If Cerberus had Garrus, or, at least had Garrus' omni-tool, they'd want to tie up any loose ends; and, that meant witnesses like the Batarian. This had to be a trap, somehow.

So, like her brother, she'd walk straight into it. And, just like her brother, she was prepared.

* * *

"Hmm… Never known the girl to be late…" Zaeed mused as he looked around the club.

"We're meeting a girl, hmm?" Jacob grinned.

"Shut up," the old merc snapped.

Jacob drummed his fingers on the table in irritation and boredom. A few more minutes passed and Jacob amused himself watching the wriggling scantily-clad Asari on the dance floor. The gut-shot Batarian lost consciousness and he fell forward, planting his forehead squarely onto the table with a loud "thud." Jacob sighed and shoved the unconscious alien upright again.

"I'm not comfortable sittin' pretty like this while our friend here bleeds out," the Cerberus Operative complained.

"Just slap some medi-gel on 'em and shut up, jackass," Zaeed muttered, his eyes still scanning the club uneasily.

"What'd this guy do anyway?" Jacob asked, hooking a thumb at the bloody wretch.

"I'd be a real shitty mercenary if I told you something like that."

"Jeeze. Just trying to make conversation." Jacob paused and watched the dancers a few moments more before trying once again.

"So, uhmm… where you from?"

"What is this? A bloody sewing circle?" Zaeed snapped, irritably. His eyes were focused now in the shadowy corners. The old Merc had caught a glimpse of a movement approaching, his hand creeping towards his weapons.

"Aww… common. We're going to be working together..." Jacob whined.

Zaeed finally turned his gaze towards the Cerberus soldier.

"Working! Exactly. Like what I'm trying to do right now except you keep bitching like a damn school girl. I swear to fucking ch-gghhhggggrrrr..."

Zaeed's body spasmed as his armor seized, a fluttering glow of electricity running over it's surface. The hydraulic joints whined and the armor tightened around his entire body, threatening to crush him inside of it.

Maggie shimmered into existence behind Zaeed, her omni-tool pointing to his armor, a pistol in her other hand aimed right at Jacob's face.

"Oh… Zaeed. I thought we were becoming such friends." The young woman sighed. "How much did the Cerberus dogs pay you to turn on me? Wait, don't tell me. I saw your accounts. Glad to know I didn't come cheap."

Jacob recovered from his surprise and jumped to his feet.

"Oh! No you don't," Maggie hissed, flicking the safety off the pistol. It's mass effect coils hummed to life. "Very slowly, slide your gun across the table, then put your hands behind your head."

Jacob glared at Zaeed angrily as he complied. Slowly, Jacob placed his gun on the table, slid it towards Maggie, and placed his hands behind his head, where he activated his embedded microphone.

"You double-dealing piece of shit. You set this up...The Commander is going to fucking kill you." Jacob threatened, alerting Shepard to the situation.

"Urgg." Zaeed choked. The armor was tight enough around him that he couldn't even take a deep breath.

With his hands behind his head, Jacob glanced back and forth between the girl and the mercenary. He couldn't tell who betrayed who first, or maybe they were both playing him. Seeing no other option, he started to gather his biotic energies.

"Jacob?" Shepard's voice whispered in his ear. "Can you respond? Are you ok?"

Ok. Scratch that. He needed to stall.

"I don't know what's going on here," Jacob began, his voice cool, "I don't know why you just took out this old bastard. But, this is going to be your only chance to walk away. I don't want to fight you."

"Zaeed's down?!" Shepard asked in his ear. "We're on our way."

"Oh, spare me," Maggie huffed. "I'm going to ask one question and you are going to answer me true or I am going to start putting bullets into your non-essential body parts."

"Fine." Jacob spat. "What's your question?" He readied his biotic attack.

"Where. Is. Archangel." Maggie asked, slowly.

"Archangel!? Is that what this is about!?" Jacob echoed for Shepard listening on the other end.

"Shit. Jacob, hang in there. We're almost there." Shepard responded in his ear piece.

"Where is he? You terrorist piece of shit!" she said, venom dripping from her words.

"He's on the Normandy," Jacob answered simply.

Maggie grinned sadistically, a wild frenzy in her eyes that made Jacob question if he was going to walk away from this encounter alive.

"Oh, you have no idea how not-funny that is. I am going to enjoy this." She stepped forward and pressed the muzzle of her pistol against Jacob's kneecap.

She was a hair's breadth away from pulling the trigger when a scaled green hand emerged from the shadows. In one graceful movement, it grabbed her hand, removed the gun from her suddenly numb fingers, and pinned her solidly back against the wall with lithe and unbreakable strength.

Thane was about to put the gun to her head when he caught the expression in the young woman's eyes. Raw fury and defiance glared back at him in a face that was a mirror to Shepard's own. Her bright eyes caught the dancing club lights and for a fleeting heartbeat, they turned a hauntingly familiar color of a sunset.

The memories hit Thane like a speeding frigate.

_Sunset colored eyes of fury and defiance turn on me._

_"You can't do this. Freelance? I won't interfere with your service to the compact." Irikah's voice trembles. She's uncertain._

_"It's already done," I tell her._

_"Why?" She demands an answer. It hurts. I thought she'd be pleased._

_"For you. For us. For our family."_

_She turns away. The long silence is frightening._

_"I always wanted a daughter," she whispers and I hold her close. I put my hand to her belly. She's already starting to show._

Thane recoiled from the memories, stumbling back from the girl with his heart in his throat, stunned. He maintained the presence of mind to dislodge her omni-tool from her wrist. The omni-tool powered down and the programs holding Zaeed's armor released. The mercenary fell out of his chair with a groan. Thane stared in mute fascination at the girl, aiming her own pistol at her heart.

Zaeed gasped from the floor. "Oh fuck me….you little twit. I think that cracked a rib!"

Everybody froze.

Maggie's gaze flicked from the Drell, to Zaeed, then to the Cerberus soldier. Jacob looked at his gun on the table. Maggie moved first.

She grabbed Jacob's gun then sprinted into the crowd, zig-zagging around newly created human shields. She'd gotten half a dozen steps when Jacob flung a biotic blast at her legs, knocking aside a handful of dancers in the process. The dark energy knocked Maggie from her feet and sideways into the wall headfirst.

People screamed and ran, the dance floor immediately emptied in every direction, revealing Maggie dazed and trying to regain her feet.

The force of the impact had driven Maggie's head into the wall and opened a small cut just over her left eyebrow. Maggie was struggling for breath and dazed from the impact. She tried to level the pistol at Jacob, but with the smallest gesture he flung the weapon from her hand with a rippling blue energy.

"Mr. Taylor…" Thane's voice cautioned from somewhere behind him.

Jacob ignored the Drell and moved in on the now unarmed girl. He was clearly overconfident. The girl came up fighting, springing towards the large man first first and landing a vicious uppercut on Jacob's jaw. Jacob's vision exploded into stars. Maggie was running again, but didn't get far. When Jacob's vision cleared, he pulled her to the floor with another biotic assault and jumped upon her back.

With military precision, Jacob pinned her down and twisted her arm behind her back and slammed her face-first into the ground. Maggie felt her lip split and she tasted blood. She was beaten and pinned, but spat the blood from her mouth, defiantly.

"Now…" Jacob chuckled as Maggie struggled against his arm lock in a futile gesture of resistance. "I'm going to ask you a few questions…"

"Go to hell, Cerberus dog!" Maggie spat and continued to struggle.

"Have it your way," Jacob said as he raised a fist.

"JACOB!" Commander Shepard's voice cracked like a whip over the noise and chaos of the club. He appeared on the opposite side of the dance floor, shoving his way through the stampeding crowd and closing the distance fast.

Jacob froze. "Commander, I - "

He didn't have time to explain because the Commander bellowed over him.

"GET THE FUCK OFF MY SISTER!"


End file.
